Dr Sunil and Gigi Chandy, CMC, Vellore.
Dear Sunil and Gigi,
21.12.2018
Greetings.
I have been taking time to summarise my life and remember people with whom I have had some association for short or long periods. When I turned seventy, I felt the need to share with them my appreciation and gratefulness for the friendship shared. I have usually done this by writing down my thoughts. Let me do this to remember both of you.
The first memory that Anna and I have of meeting you is in your home after your return from your time in Australia probably in 1999. It was then we felt connected with you and the mission you felt about being in CMC. We remember the warmth and friendship you conveyed to us at that time. There were occasions thereafter, we visited each other and shared our common interests about the mission and direction of CMC. You kept in touch with us regularly, which was encouraging because we were new to CMC and were only getting to know people. You showed interest in the work of Developmental Paediatrics and visited the department on a few occasions.
One special occasion that I recall is the involvement of both of you as group facilitators when the faculty retreats were organized. I could feel your genuine concern for others and your creative involvement during the retreat to mentor the group. In fact even after the retreat you made efforts to stay in touch with the group, which at that time was planned to be a way of accompanying the faculty in the formative journey of their lives. When we had a few meetings of the facilitators after the series of retreats and considered how we could create a caring community of faculty, you did provide some valuable insights. One suggestion Anna and I tried to keep up was visiting homes, which still remains as a highlight of our memory of our time at CMC. I had sensed through the interaction with you that you would have greater role in the future in the life of CMC.
Anna and I felt connected with your family even more, when your son joined for medical studies and kept in touch with us. We felt with him when he was going through the transitions and finding his role in the student community. We remember many pleasant conversations with him and rejoice the way he has grown up to be what he is personally and professionally.
Sunil dropped in a few times to persuade me to stay on in administration, when I volunteered to step down mid way through my term in the directorate, when there were difficulties with the leadership over the way the undergraduate admission process in 2006 drifted to an unfortunate direction. I feel grateful for your efforts and the encouraging feed back you brought to reconsider my decision. Thank you for keeping in touch even after my choice of not reconsidering my decision.
I remember visiting you to seek professional help when I needed some advice medically for tiredness and fluctuating blood pressure. It was a time, when I had difficulty with the Principal, who delayed our request to commence the post-doctoral fellowship programme in Developmental paediatrics and PhD programme. You might recall that I sought premature retirement two years before my super-annuation. On the last day of the three month’s notice, I was called in by the administration granting permission to start the fellowship and PhD programme, which initiated the fellowship programme in Developmental Paediatrics for three paediatricians and made it possible to register four professionals for the PhD programme. Thank you for offering your support and encouraging me during a difficult time when I almost lost hope of giving an academic standing to Developmental Paediatrics as a Paediatric snubspecailty. You were among the few who carried us in your thoughts during that difficult time.
There were many conversations between us, when you were in the MS office, and while overseeing the cardiology department. Every time, there were issues of concern you experienced at work or in relationships or decision making, you seemed to be open to revisit matters and find a way forward. I watched you finding your role and calling in and through all those experiences.
When I returned to the CMC Council after my retirement from CMC, you kept in touch with me by sharing your concerns and analysis of the different matters, which needed consultation for continuity to the mission of CMC. I became aware of the difficulties that you faced denying you a place in the administrative team although you rightfully deserved it. You endured disappointment and prepared yourself to wait for your time. That did finally arrive, when you were chosen to the leadership role of CMC.
I yielded to your persuasion to return to the council after I left the council when I turned 65 years. I have regrets about having done that. However, I feel grateful for your invitation and the regards you expressed towards me on different occasions.
Anna and I feel grateful to both of you for all that you did when I needed cardiac surgery. Your caring presence in the Cath lab for my angiogram and later your visit to Chennai to meet me on the day of my surgery are fond memories we cherish. That was an extra-ordinary act of kindness for which Anna and I shall remain grateful.
I feel glad for the way you conceptualised the plan for Kanigapuram project even after it was shelved. You facilitated that to happen.
We watched both of you lead staff entertainment, perform, sing, play guitar, speak at meetings, give presentations.. There was a refreshing touch and substance to all that you reached out to do. You presented a diversity in your interests and skills through all of these. We admire you for those contributions.
It is true that there were difficulties in our relationships from half way through my association with the council. You and I have had different perceptions and reflections on some amtters. It might remain like that as too many events and conversations of the past make it difficult to revisit them patiently or soberly. I am finding my way forward and feeling freed from the thoughts connected with them. Sometimes few life experiences are there to stay and undoing them can be more traumatic if one were to analyse them!. Life is a tapestry of all experiences and integrating them is what would bring healing and inward growth. Let me wish you years of joyful living and purposeful pursuit of your calling!
If roses have thorns, all relationships too would have a painful side. What resides within me about our relationship are happy memories that I referred to in this letter and much more!
I feel good that I was able to compose this letter to indicate our regards and appreciation for what we received from you.
Thank you for sharing your life experiences with us. Both of you trusted us enough to take us in to confidence on some matters concerning your lives. Thank you for inviting us to be your companions during a special times in your lives.
Thank you Gigi for offering welcome and hospitality when ever we visited your home. I remember many uplifting conversations during our visits to your home.
It was a joy to have known both of you. Anna and I remain grateful for your friendship and kindness towards us.
We send you our regards and greetings to both of you and children.
M.C. Mathew
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