One Life, two expressions!

The two buds in the centre arise from one common stem.

To me it is a symbol of marriage. The husband and wife shall become 'one' first and from that position of unity, they express their two individual lives. 

To become one is a journey in itself! I do not know whether one life time is enough for this to happen in its fullness! However, as long as both husband and wife are committed to this journey to become one, it becomes a true realisation of the calling of marriage. 

It is from that inner unity between husband and wife, each receives the nourishment to express his or her lives individually. 

Becoming the true self to express individual selves in marriage, begins with the growing inner unity that creates affinity for each other. 

The season of new year is a good time to refresh ourselves with the vocation in marriage. Every family becomes a fountain of joy only as much as a husband and wife stay in this fellowship of intimacy, mutuality and unity!

What beholds each other in marriage is not just fondness alone, but inner nearness that grows out of respect and trust!

The children in our homes grow up watching this inner unity, which then becomes the preparation for their future! 

The expression of this unity is through words and deeds. 

M.C.Mathew (photo and text)

One in the many!

Each of us in one in our biological family of many!

I have pondered over it in the recent weeks. 

Each flower in its bunch is distinct with its features, but similar to others in the bunch. 

So this distinctiveness and similarity co-exist.

In a conversation with a family I realised how this is a reason to celebrate!

The bunch of flowers is splendid in its appearance ! Each flower by itself would appear beautiful but when it is part of the bunch it constitutes the whole to make it splendid.

In a family each of us needs the space to exist and that is a need which cannot be dismissed away. At the same time we need the stem to hold the family together, with each one with his or her individual expressions for making the collective experiences refreshing! The stem is constituted by the collective, and not by one alone. 

When a wife mentioned yesterday that she woke up early everyday to prepare the breakfast and lunch packet for each of them, I realised that she was reaching out to the others to hold things together in the family. She is fulfilling her individual calling towards the wellness of the collective . 

It is what we do to each other in the family which shall make our family life resound with joy!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

In the garden of life!

There are times in one's life,  when one feels the need to gravitate towards what matters most for one's life and reflect on the essence and significance of that!

Now that I am in the interface between the sixth and seventh decades of my life, I returned  to this theme again. 

It would soon be forty-five years since Anna and I have begun to live in the garden of our lives, knowing, trusting, caring and sharing our lives in ways that anchored us in an affirming and enlarging relationship.  

It has been a profound, transforming and envisioning relationships, often journeying through some unfamiliar paths of life in pursuing our vocation. We felt safe and secure  because we felt centred in our bonding to each pother. This enabled us to see beyond our individual design of life we had for ourselves from our childhood! 

This blog which Anna designed for me five years ago, to which I return with my reflections, is just one illustration of the numerous  creative ways which she added into my life. Anna, you touched my life and I have grown!

M.C.Mathew (Text and photo)

Foster Christmas get-together

  

We came together as a foster family of students and interns yesterday- this is the second Christmas season since we have got a foster family to be involved with! We welcomed three new students into our group yesterday! 

Th highlight of the time was recollecting the experiences of 2017, recollecting the meaning of Christmas and wishing  Kirthana who is preparing to get engaged shortly!

Every time we meet as an extended family in the college campus, Anna and ai feel encouraged by this privilege of being surrounded by student friends who care and and encourage...

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Grand children!

Each grand child needs attention! Here the grand mother was under pressure to carry two children in her arms!

Grand children bring a sense of leisure and joy in any family. They take you on a journey of fun, laughter, exploration or conversation that we do not normally engage in! 

I realise from my own experience, that the grand children are a key to return to our personal childhood memories! 

The richness of this experience would stay with us and refresh us, although it can be sometime physically tiring! But often the attention turns away from our tiredness to their joy and fulfillments!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

Another foster family get-together!

This occasion of meeting with the foster family to say farewell to the five seated in the front was a special occasion. They having finished their internship are leaving the hospital shortly!

It is now a year since we started to meet and Anna and I feel touched by the friendships that have  developed through this. 

Our life in the college is meaningful because of such personal connections we have found ! We feel grateful that these young friends make us feel young and we feel at home in their company! They contribute to make us stay relational. Thank you friends! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A look full of curiosity!

What is in a look of an infant or toddler!

As I watched this girl from a distance of about 100 meters during a meeting through my camera lens, I was fascinated by her fixed look at what was happening on the stage.

We look to see and comprehend! However a child looks for the sake of being occupied with what is happening. She does not have to think and analyse or frame ideas to comment or criticise. She is free to be taken up in the activity and engaged in its sequence. This is the highest form of inner focus, whereby when we just listen or see or think.  We are free to do the only thing that matters which is to be fully involved. 

As adults we are prone to be easily distracted! Our thoughts, feelings or judgements or expectations distract our attention!

How wonderful if we can be just listening while we hear or seeing when we watch something! This is an example of focused attention. 

One might explain this ability of children to be an infantile form of attention as they had limited life experience to have had a load of insights to distract them while seeing or listening! 

Blessed are those who can train their mind to be attentive fully to what is before them! It is possible to subdue the inner traffic in our mind by growing in interior silence and vigilant alertness.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Family Reunion

There are occasions when transgenerational and transcontinental members of an extended family come together for celebration and fellowship. During one such gathering recently, Anna and I were surprised by the many gains of such a time. 

One experience stands out in my mind as I reflect on this time. Each of us has grown and changed since we met with each other few years back. We needed time to get to know the 'new persons' we have become. This renewal of our impressions of each other was necessary to know each other as those who are becoming to be even more unique. 

This reminds us of the mystery that each of us is as humans. Parents change; children change, brothers and sisters change... So when we meet with other members of the family, we encounter the changes, the personal growth has brought in. To become familiar with this growing process is one valuable gain of such family times. 

The relationships get renewed and revised. We discover what is common and different and become reconnected with each other in appreciation of each other. Most relationships need refreshing family times to grow together valuing and esteeming each other.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)  

Family time at Christmas!

Anna and Sophie, our aunt both have their birthdays in December. From the time of advent in church calendar in December, the season of Christmas brings many memories to all of us. 

One memory would be all about family times on Christmas day.

Somehow the manger scene which is a popular meditation theme during this season brings in to focus the family ties which gets renewed at  every Christmas time. 

The family ties are too changing with times. During my childhood days, it was common to exchange frequent visits between families during the year. But now most families try if they can come together during Christmas or Easter. 

 These two Christ entered historical events continue to be the celebration times in the families!

In fact families derive the inspiration for the net work of relationships from Christmas and Easter because both epitomise the loving nature of God revealed through Jesus. The language of every family communication is love because God is still reminding us of it by drawing all of us into HIs loving embrace!

For Anna and myself this Christmas is yet another time we remember many family events with gratitude. Amy and Arpit were blessed with a baby boy in November. That creates within us an ambience of love and gratitude!

We are being formed through our relationships in our families!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A pan cake desert !

I happened to watch last week, how this pan cake desert was  made. The pan cake was fried in the  the pan by the husband and the wife got the strawberries ready with the cream. It was put together by both of them with each taking turn to smear the cinnamon powder over it before it was served. 

It was a delight to watch the couple share this activity and communicate to each other affectionately and spontaneously!

During our visits to different homes, Anna and I have been encouraged by a new culture of husband and wife participating in building their relationships through shared activities. Another family reminded us of how both parents take turns to take care of the children in the evening time, before their bed time. 

The relationship within a marriage needs nurture and enlargement. Often, conversations get reduced to the essentials and a couple may feel distanced from each other over a period of time. In fact doing things together builds and tones relationships.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)   

Meeting place

One of the recent initiatives my colleagues at work attempted was to provide a meeting place for parents to come together for play time for their children and chat time for themselves. It has enthused the children, parents, and us equally.

We are now promoting neighbourhood meetings of parents to facilitate friendships and sharing of experiences. The neighbourhood friendships are on a decline as most people remain housebound watching TV. Children too get addicted to this, so much so even meal times are spent sitting before the TV in many homes. We suggested to a family to invite a few others for a pot luck dinner and spend time playing some indoor games.

One family came back feeling glad for the initiative. They decided to meet in another home the next week.

What brings together at least men for social occasions is partying time with alcohol. The women and children are excluded and the evenings are spent stressfully.

We need to promote inclusive alcohol free occasions of social gatherings of families, to promote neighbourhood meetings and relationships. When leisure times are better occupied, even men would find themselves drawn by the desire to be at home in the evenings than being at pubs, clubs or parties.

We need to promote home based and family centred social occasions. That is how we promote intimacy within family and friendships between neighbours!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The three special A's

Anna has developed a special bonding with Amy and Aswathy since they came in to our life. Amy and Aswathy have become Anna's confidants and consultants. It is a delight to watch this relationship grow and unfold. The telephone calls have become longer and subjects covered wider. There is warmth and trust which is spontaneous and endearing.

Anna's efforts to think inclusively about Amy and Aswathy and their husbands is most touching. 

If it is during shopping, I hear her  say, 'Oh, that is good for Amy and  Aswathy'. During an outing to a nice place or restaurant, she would say, ' I wish children were here'. When we travel in the car during our long journeys, it is common for Anna to recall something special and refreshing about Amy and Aswathy. I have sensed Anna's mother's instinct moving her to relate, affirm and care. This has been a lesson for me to be more gracious towards Arpit and Anandit.

I am touched the way Anna prepares to welcome both the families when they visit us. She knows each person's taste and favourite cuisine. She would make effort to make the visit special for them. I like the way she would convey affection and appreciation to Amy and and Aswathy during such occasions by involving them.  

I realize that an extended family is born as much as the newly arrived spouses after marriage are welcomed with openness and appreciation. I comment Anna for taking the lead and priming me into being inclusive in my thinking. 

We need to bless and let our children 'go' after marriage and we need to 'bring in' their spouses creatively. This is a paradox.  And yet it is central to the understanding the foundations of  extended family formation. 

Many of us would err and slip, but the key to renewed relationship is to be open to receive and quick to forgive. Anna has been an example for me in this leaning journey. I grew up without a brother or sister.  I have new domains to cover in experiencing the dynamics of relationships.

As I write this, Delphine is at my feet. She seems to invite me to play with her. It is also an invitation symbolically to move on in the journey of intimacy within the family.

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)    

   

Attend to a child

I was fascinated the way children interact with adults in a social setting of a marriage, which Anna and I too attended. 

There were adults who were fully focussed on relating to their friends and children were hanging around or playing among themselves.

There were other adults who paused to listen to children, hear their stories and found pleasure to relate to and engage in their interests. Children guided their conversation. There were exchanges which children were welcome to initiate and guide The adults adapted their conversations to include children and their world of happenings. I noticed some children going to familiar adults whom they knew would respond to them comfortably.

This was an interesting scene for me as I believe that children would never be an 'interruption' in the gatherings of adults, if they are welcomed to participate. They would lighten the conversations with their  laughter and fun, which would add to make the experience socially uplifting.

The challenge for adults, in social gatherings, when children are present, is to refrain from making every conversation professional or business linked. There is a tendency to have a children's corner, where they play on their own and the adults continue their interaction with adults. 

There is wisdom in making social occasions as family times. Let children be welcomed to participate in social occasions so that family ties are established between families inclusive of children. There are families who organize neighbourhood family gatherings. This was common in one medical college campus  where Anna and I lived for some years.  

We are challenged by the addictive tendencies of children to watch TV, play games in the computer, surf the internet, etc. Most of these habits have an origin in the practice adults introduce to distract children, while adults are busy pursuing their conversations and do not want children to be present. So children too get interested in adult gatherings because they then would have unsupervised time on the net or watch movies that parents would not normally let them do at home. This is the way some children get indulgent which would affect their moral fabric.

Make children the focus of our attention at all occasions, when they are growing up. Let family life is designed to foster children's aspirations. When adults do this consciously we invest on children to imbibe sound conduct and character.

Who is talking about conduct and character in the whole debate of safety for women in public places! Women insist on their  rights of freedom and gender equality. While they are important, the seminal issue is 'how to instil values that would allow children to grow up to be men and women of sound conduct and character'!  

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

   

Picnic in the Courtyard

Anna and I found this sit out, in the courtyard of a home, we visited recently. We found the setting and arrangement in the lawn highly suggestive of the frequent gatherings of the family around this fire place. The family mentioned to us about the happy occasions the family shares by being in the lawn, sitting around having supper, barbecue, or after supper desert or playing card games. etc. This family uses this place on two or three times in a week. It is also a favourite place for children and grandchildren when they come visiting. 

Although most of us live in flats or in congested surroundings, it is still possible to find little space to make it special for the family to have a picnic, without having to travel to a distant place.

One of the grand children of the family told us that they like having meals in the lawn, as it spares them from having to follow strict table manners, when they are at the dining table. The children like the leisurely time they can have around the meal, followed by family games or story telling. They are fond of this times, as the family can unwind with laughter and fun. 

We have also come across neighbours sharing such a common place and facility in one of the courtyards of their own homes, in order to give an opportunity to those, who do not have a private lawn or courtyard. Families need different contexts and settings to feel connected with each other.

What is the difference between being indoors or outdoors! We are bound or conditioned, when we are indoors by music, television, Computer, books, board gems, etc. This sometimes can become a routine and reduce other flavours needed in building relationships. When a family is outdoors, there is a sense of freedom, relaxation, participation, exploration, etc.

All families need formal times, which is what being indoors provide. They need informal times outdoors, where there is an opportunity to experience the expanse in family ties with spontaneity and originality. 

Make it  habit to have picnics in the terrace, veranda, courtyard, car boot, beside a stream or in  a unused stair case where there is a lift... let me suggest that after such an occasion, we adults would long for the next one, as much as the children.

Family life is the sum substance of all small things we do consciously to build relationships.

M.C.Mathew( text and photo)      

Colourfulness in togetherness

One of the experiments a gardener would like to make is to have a common flower bed for different plants. As each plant needs a particular type of bed, manure, light exposure or shade, it is often difficult for the gardener to choose the different plants belonging to heterogenous species that can be planted together. However, every garden will have some flower beds which different flowering plants share. Such beds are a family of flowers brought into being by the gardener. Together they add colourfullness to the garden. Such flower beds stand out in a garden and reflect the skills of the gardener.

A family on earth is such a coming together of parents, children, grandparents, etc. to form a flower bed of rich blend of colours. Each family has  been brought and knit together by the gardener of our Soul, the creator God, whom Jesus of Nazareth referred to as the 'vine dresser', who plants and prunes. There is colourfulness in humanity because two people, a man and woman,  of different temperament, abilities, gifts, backgrounds, upbringing, skills, etc. are brought together in marriage to form the family. What brings and binds them together is a calling to 'love, cherish and and to be fruitful'. All the differences between a married couple then get blended into shared experiences, through which both partners grow to express the colourfulness of their lives through their home, children, and vocation. 

We live in a society, whose social ethos is individuality. Many do not like to get married; some delay it as long they can; many delay having children or do no have children so that they can live single, although married. There is more of individuality than shared experiences even in families who stay together. 

A family who visited me for professional consultation had a litany complaints. When I asked them to write down the good experiences they have shared together during the fifteen years of married life, the list surprised them. This exercise brought a new insight into their joys and blessings. This made them less defensive and accusatory. It was easier to proceed for the subsequent meetings, because of a new awareness about the colourfulness in togetherness. 

Each of us can be comfortable by being alone, but if our calling has been for togetherness in married life, then it is better to choose to be fruitful by sharing lives at a profoundly intimate level. Every human life is a well of resources and blessings that it is through an encounter in a deeper plane we can experience and  convey  the abundance of life. 

We watch individual plants and their blossoms with delight. But a flowerbed of flowers of multiple colours captivates us as it is beautiful beyond everything else. 

If there is ONE  mission, we pay least attention to in our churches, organisations or in civil society is FAMILY ENRICHMENT.

If there are those who feel similarly, please get in touch with us for pursuing a dream.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)                     

A Child caught in marriage conflict

I remember photographing this puppy, which was hiding under a bush after having been chased by two quarrelling adult dogs. They were two adult dogs whom we used to see often in the hospital campus and one of the dogs chasing this puppy was its own mother. This puppy stayed under this bush for several days and  children in the campus offered it food and water. The dog looked cast down, with no response to all the care provided by the children. Puppies by nature do not recover easily from fright, anxiety, rejection or physical attack.  

Today, I heard a story of a child who has attempted to take life, out of desperation due to the raging marital conflict of the parents. The child narrowly escaped from a catastrophe due to prompt medical attention. It was distressing to hear the heart rending story from the child of dejection, abuse, punishment and threats.

How are we to care for children, when parents go through prolonged marital conflicts! It is necessary to provide parenting substitute in an affirming way during such times. It is unwise to ignore the impact of conflict in varying intensities on children. The youngest and the oldest suffer most. The youngest because he or she  would need special attention for childhood formation. The oldest may already be facing transition of adolescence and it is too much to return home to watch the parents quarrelling.

The care of children would fall on older siblings, relatives, neighbours, friends, or teachers at school. Often, it is not possible to offer the needed quality of attention by fostering them as parents often would insist on caring for the children on their own. Sometimes this involvement with children may help parents to review the situation of the needs of children, in which case one or both partners may tone down the arrogance towards each other. 

On many occasions, children are left to fend for themselves. We do not have good social welfare programme to help children go through this tumultuous period without suffering from traumatic stress. 

When parents seek dispute resolution through family therapy, children need to be included in therapy to help them recover from their emotional devastation.

The child whom I met today, asked me, 'Why are my parents quarrelling! Don't they think about us! They have everything materially, but they do not seem to value their own children'.

This is a new social malady, more urban children are faced with. When parents fail to honour their marriage vows, the silent sufferer is a child. The children would suffer from pain, fear, loneliness, reduced self esteem and social alienation. 

Most broken marriages can be redeemed over a period of time. The starting point is for the couple to say to each other, 'I am sorry' and walk through marriage enrichment process, sheltered by people who can care, counsel and support to find the way forward! 

Marital conflicts inflict injury to children. Let us keep this as a sound reason to protect our marriages from decay! Marriage relationship is larger in purpose than for parenting. I wish more families would discover the larger meaning and richness of sharing lives intimately as married couples! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)                  

Yellow, White and Red

One of my favourite flowers is Rose. 

During a recent review of my collection of photographs, I noticed that photos of Rose flowers from different places, was  the  largest number, among all the flowers in my collection. 

I have been drawn by the gentle display of its colour, texture of its petals, the formation of the petals to give it a shape, the aroma,  the way the bud evolves in to a full bloom over a few days and the way the petals drop one by one before the flower fades away only to be left with its stalk as a reminder of its earlier presence.

Every family has a particular structure, rhythm, ambience, character and relational pattern. Each family is different just as there are  rose flowers with different colours.

What is common between families is its function- to make it a home for human formation and to offer fullness of life to all those who  to belong the family.

However, it is within families, many people experience their first  encounter of discrimination.

A nine year old girl, who came to visit me last week, was referred to by her parents as lazy, moody and shabby. She started to cry in their presence, which made me feel that a private interview would be needed. My colleague and I listened to her for over an hour, of all that she was going through at home, on account of her dark body complexion, different academic performance from her brother, struggles she has in helping her mother in house keeping, etc. 

She was heart broken and did not have a sense of belonging to her family. She participated in debates, sports, dancing, dramatics and was learning two foreign languages. We felt that she was ahead of others of her age in clarity of thought, communication, personal faith and spiritual experience. From what she shared, we sensed that she was overcome with sadness and felt emotionally detached from her family. 

Family is a coming together of different people, like the petals in a rose flower, to be a coherent unit to bring fullness of life and offer joyful relationship to all its members. This is getting disrupted amidst all the pressures that come upon families due to social and existential changes taking place all around us. A family is also for the blessing of others to experience its  caring and serving presence in a community.               

Somehow, this foundational value of family life is getting overlooked. I suspect children are worst affected. 'What is salt if it has lost its saltiness', is how Jesus of Nazareth described such a situation, when families are becoming dysfunctional.

I happened to ask a seven year child, who is your best friend, to which he answered, ' Television'. Forty one out of forty three students in 6th standard wrote a composition on a theme, 'My role model' about film stars and sports persons. The three who wrote about their parents being their role model, were made to feel uncomfortable by their class mates. Children of today are experiencing a distance from their parents as many material things separate each other from developing intimacy in relationships.

It is the parents who hold the family together like the stalk that holds a rose flower. The parents make a family bloom like a rose flower. This can be facilitated in a family setting through family times of planned conversations, leisure activities, reading books of formative value as a common activity, sharing life experiences and listening to each other's views,occasions of prayer and meditation on the Scripture passages.... 

Next time, you see a rose flower, meditate on your family.

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)     

Jasmine in the courtyard

Anna and I have made an observation that most houses in our village,  we have passed by on our walks, have a bush of jasmine with white blossoms. It is a traditional belief that the fragrance of jasmine will fill the home. Most women keep a small bunch of it as habit in their hair. They use it at their time of prayer to a deity. It is often kept in a basin of water in the drawing room, which fills the room with its fragrance. 

It is  a plant which gives flower throughout the year. It requires little attention, watering or manuring. It requires little but gives away a lot.

An elderly woman told me that it has been a custom to have a jasmine plant in the courtyard as a symbol of what each home should be- fragrant and giving. 

We live in  a season where our homes are far form this. One of our neighbours told us that most women  fear the evenings because their husbands return in a drunken state and turn the home in to  a battle ground.

The first indication of a mission, that is difficult but critical, is to address the social evil that push people to  be alcohol dependent. Now days in many homes of the labour class, the women work and the men spend most of the income for substance abuse. Many men experience depression, job related stress, frustration due to struggles of life, debt due to loans taken to educate children or marry their daughter, etc.

We do not succeed in de-addiction programme unless some of these social challenges are addressed by pro-active community initiatives. One minister of a Church showed some interest in this issue. That gives me some hope.

Home is a place of fragrance and self-giving.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)    

The Family Table

This photo is of the breakfast table set to celebrate Anna's sixtieth birthday. The four plates  kept upside  down represented Amy and Arpit and Aswathy and Anandit who could not be present on that occasion, but joined us later. 

Usually, The Family Table has been a conversational time for us, where we talk about ourselves  to each other. We refrained from sharing news or even discussing issues at The Table. We protected this time as a time to relate to each other in an affirming way. There were times when they were less than this. We kept returning to our desire to keep it family centered.

As our children are away in different places now, Anna and I  keep our Family Table as an occasion of remembering children. Since Amy and Aswathy have come into our lives only recently, we love remembering them, sharing our pleasant memories of times spent with them or conversations we would have had with them. We are growing up to receive Arpit and Anandit as adults. However their childhood memories refresh us immensely. 

If young children are at the table, let them lead the conversation. Their interests and experiences ought to be the only focus. One of the parents reading a book for  a short while before or during a meal is a good conversation starter. I hope we will not reduce this time to watch TV unless it is an exception.

When Anna and I are alone at The Table, we will share own experiences to stay connected. It is one occasion, where we find love is shared to  make it a time of communion. There are other times when our physical tiredness may reduce it to be a meal time. But we tell ourselves not to make that as a habit.   

It was Anna's dream to have it this way. It has been a blessing to us.

The Family Table IS NOT just for sharing a meal, but it is a time of COMMUNION. Late Dr.Henry Nouwen used to say, ' The Table and the bed are places of communion for a married couple'

M.C.Mathew(text an photo)

Music, Meals and Games

Foster family at CMC, Vellore

Anna and I are moving further south, at the end of this month. There are some special memories we carry with us, of our time at the Christian Medical College, Vellore for 13 years and at the Pondicherry Institute of Medical Sciences, Pondicherry for the last 2 years. 

Foster family at PIMS, Pondicherry

One such special memory is of our foster families in both places. Every year we have had two or three students added to this group. We enjoyed having a good blend of students with different interests and talents.

Anna organized regular 'at homes' for them. We often spent time singing, having a leisurely meal and playing games. Their presence was therapeutic for us, as their fun, laughter, conversations and kind gestures made us feel young and encouraged. Of course, Delphine was at the centre of all of these, with a few of them fearing her when they started visiting us. But that also got sorted out as Delphine's temperament was no threat to any one. They became our family friends. We had regular celebrations of birthdays and created other occasions to meet together. Anna's chocolate 'never fail' cake was an added attraction. 

Students have had a special place in our lives and home. We feel touched by their kindness and thoughtfulness. During the time of Arpit's and Anandit's marriages, the foster family at Vellore and their friends looked after all the logistics admirably. We got to know some  of them and their families well. Anna was the warden of the Women's hostel at Vellore for five years, which gave us another opportunity to stay connected with them.

For a season, we had a 'Friday Forum' at home at Vellore, where students came in for dialogue on issues related to life, living and learning. At Pondicherry we had the students from the Evangelical Union coming home for their weekly meetings, till they had the chapel to meet. 

We miss the foster family at Vellore for two years now and would miss the family at PIMS from this month end. They loved us and enriched us. We carry the memories in our hearts and suggest to all teachers in the Medical Schools, to develop a foster family centered in your home. The students will make us more relational and humane. We will get more connected with another generation to become more relevant as teachers and communicators.

My teachers during my under graduate training, taught us during the day, played with us in the evenings and invited us for outings with their families at the week ends. They were our role models, confidants and well wishers.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)