The year 2022

The three publications above would symbolise the happenings in our lives which Anna and I experienced during the year 2022. 

The publication, Bird Movements around our home-Inner responses, was a summary of our encounters and enlargements since we came to live in our cottage in the village ten years ago. The feathered visitors brought the garden to life through the day, with their presence, bird calls and movements between flight stations. Anna was able to summarise the insights that we received as we watched the avians and received the messages they bought to us. Our formative journey since coming to live in the cottage continued through different strands of experiences. One significant contribution came from the birds, who 'befriended' us by making our garden their residence or made it their regular flight station. They came to greet us where we are! They became a metaphor for the Good Shepherd, who gos searching for the one sheep! 

The second publication, Accompany Your Child, was a handbook published in the fortieth year  since ASHRIVAD trust was formed to engage neuro-developmentally challenged children. This is a facilitator for developmental monitoring of children at home by observant parents, who are briefed about the different domains of child development, which they can oversee and record, when a child shows signs of developmental delay. It became a good document, for families for providing home based learning support for their children. Thanks to Shalini Shaji who helped in compiling it and Anna who edited and formatted it for publication. In one sense, it was a consolidation of thought process that began in 1983, when Anna and I began our activities for Neuro-developentally challenged children at the Child Development Centre  of ASHIRVAD at Chennai. Anna and I remember many professionals who contributed to enlarge our thinking, who were our colleagues at Chennai, Developmental Paediatrics Units at CMC Vellore and MOSC Medical college, Kolenchery. 

The third publication, the, Flowers for the Year, a  table calendar for 2023, was conceived by Anna who gathered photos of flowers from our collection and presented it as a visually friendly calendar. It is a 40th anniversary publication of ASHIRVAD trust. The flowers that are presented, mostly from our garden and few from the wayside, brought cheer and refreshment to us. The flowers add a charm  to the garden. The butterflies, honey bees  and birds come visiting for nectar through out the year. The flowers are for others! That message keeps surfacing in our mind as we grow older! Each day is added to our lives to live mindfully of others. It is when others live in our mind space, we can live fully and purposefully!

Anna and I say farewell to the year 2002, with gladness and gratefulness for the gift of days added to our lives. We felt touched when others reached out to us to enquire and encourage.  

We now move on to the threshold of the year 2023, remembering that it is 'in God we live, move and have our being'!

Life that is before us is yet another opportunity to live gratefully!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

It happens in the fullness of time!

The bud is opening little by little each day! As I watched this happen in our garden, I got a sense of he rhythm in nature.  

A seed sprouts in fullness of time. It becomes a sapling, then a plant,  then bears flowers and fruits if it is meant to be so, except when this was interrupted by some adverse environmental factors.  

This bud, taking time to be a blossom is a process, which I keep watching each day. I missed some stages of the bud emerging from its protected covering in between the morning and evening when I normally visited the plant. 

What am I becoming and how am I becoming! This question surfaced in my mind as I looked at the photos of this rose bush with its four buds in different stages of getting ready to be a flower!

Each bud reminded me of the process it goes through before it shall become a flower!

A flower is an offering of a plant for others to benefit from!

We give and receive gifts during the season of Christmas and new year. 

How much am I a gift to others! This question is upon my mind as I receive the flower  as a gift from the plant. 

Am I growing to be more open and gracious!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

The Givenness!

Each of these flowers had some dew on them in the morning! 

What flowers normally need would be cooler nights in December, which was denied to them during this year. Instead we had in between rainy spells. 

So it was refreshing to watch the flowers covered in dew!

The flowers looked fresh and vibrant in the morning! 

A celebrating look!

The dew is given. It is this which makes the flowers even more elegant and colourful. 

The story of Givenness!

The season of Christmas and the new year is a season to to remember all that we have been given! Often we have been given more than we acquired!

We receive what we have been given. Some find what is given not good enough but others grow in gratefulness for what has been given!

It is when we recollect what  we receive, it would  tell us the story of how much we have been given to make us what we are!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Green Feathered visitors!

 

The above three green feathered birds are our regular visitors in the garden! On most mornings, one can spot them somewhere in the garden!

One thing common between them is their preference to stay positioned for movement! This flight readiness is their inherent behaviour. 

Their vigilant look is another feature common to them. 

They are often well groomed. 

They are accommodative of the smaller birds around them like the Sunbirds. 

Some birds are bird friendly and not species specific in their tolerance. 

They live their behaviour and leave a message of how the birds too have distinct behaviour patterns to offer space for other birds!

How much of such a consciousness exists within us, when we work together in a work place!

This thought remains stays me!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

From the Now to the Next!

I find our garden fully alive with vibrant colours when the Lilies are in blossom. The flowers fade away in about a week's time and the next season of flowering would be about six months later. The two seasons of flowering adorn the garden with splendid colours. 

It is the sighting of a purple Heron in our garden which turned my thoughts to the migratory nature of the bird or six months of a year. Its movement instinct is for its survival and breeding. 

The now for most of us, as we come to the end of a year, is a time of recollection of   the mixture of experiences of 2022 and move on to the year 2023 with hopes and aspirations. 

The now is one reality. 

I was awakened to this reality when I welcomed a child of seven years, who after separation of his parents, spends five days with his mother and two days in a week with his father. He is currently emotionally disturbed and has outbursts of rage behaviour. Yesterday, while I was clinically examining him, he had one such outbursts of rage towards his maternal grandmother. He started to hit her, bite and pinch her. His mother or or the grandmother could not restrain him. I felt the need to restrain him as I noticed his harmful behaviour. When I held him close to me, he pinched and hit me. I knew that I had to help him to recover from this melt down without any harm to himself or others. It took about twenty minutes to reach a state of composure. He was obese and strong. I felt weak when he was struggling to escape from my hold. With other children and families around it, it turned out to be a frightening scene for all. It was after a while I was directly involved to restrain a person during a rage behaviour. 

After the boy settled to his normal composure, the mother narrated how such events take place at home and she was helpless with granting his insistent needs. Often it is by giving a fuzzy drink and packets of biscuits or potato chips. She felt that his aggressive behaviour had made her feel insecure and frightened. 

From this intense experience yesterday, the mother felt  that his insistence to have coke and chips need not be conceded if we can be firm without consenting to what is unreasonable even amidst pressure. The mother has a way with him when he is a quiet which helps the boy to be reasonable and responsive. The mother felt pressured to give in to him because of his aggressive behaviour. The conversation with the family after the episode opened the way for the mother to consider the possibility of maintaining her composure even when provoked by her son's intimidatory behaviour. 

For this mother, the now experience at home is frightening and anxiety prone. It was the beyond that we were able to explore with the family at the end of this intense engagement with  the boy!

What is this beyond!

The Purple Heron gives out a message!  Its migratory instinct makes it possible to adapt to different seasons, places and climate.

Our eyes are to be also on the future! If this child can be helped to recover from his post traumatic experience of separation of his parents, he would gradually feel restored to exercise his abilities for catching up with the learning experience and desirable school behaviour. He has good academic prospects and reasonable skills to adapt to a class room environment. 

Human development is the issue that at is at stake in the modern society. Human instinct is to acquire and be successful in a commercial world. Human development transcends this perspective. 

A family is the bedrock for human development. The child has his or her developmental pathway to pursue to be a pre-adolescent, adolescent, young adult, an adult and a middle aged person! An adult has his or her pathway to pursue to be a man or woman, husband or wife, father or mother or grandfather or grandmother!

These developmental pathways for a child and adult need considerable attention. The Family Development Plan consists of education for parents to help a child to grow up as an integrated being and for parents to grow up as self giving to upbuild the family life!

The Lilies and Purple Heron have a rhythm. They live that rhythm!

I wonder whether families would create time regularly to define their rhythm and make plans to pursue that rhythm to make children and adults feel fulfilled as families!

The mother I referred to above returned after the consultation with a plan to have personal time for herself for her recovery and create proactive opportunities to engage her son in enlarging his interests.  She had a plan to build a rhythm to her life at home!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

 

 

From the twilight to sunshine !

At the break of the day, in the twilight some sights are worth watching because the hue of colours would soon change when the sunlight becomes brighter! 

It is evident from the second photo of the Bulbul after ten minutes, since the first phot was taken!

The Bird did not change its complexion, but the light falling on it gave it a different look!

Our optic or views on different issues have a similar pattern. Being open to be well informed, objective and discerning would refine our thinking and opinions. 

The twilight view on issues would get revised as we allow our mind to be more factual and authentic as much as possible. 

Anna and I were hesitant to visit a home to greet them for Christmas because of a strained relationship over a matter that remained unresolved. But when Anna took the initiative to visit, she was more than surprised by the welcome and greetings she received from the family. 

We can begin with the twilight view on matters that concerns us and others, but staying open to know and sense more than what is apparent would often lead us to greater openness, which eases the stress to be relational. 

The sunshine which follows twilight is a reminder of the better perspectives that we can have towards ourselves and others, when we are open to receive the truth in greater clarity!

The discovery of truth about ourselves, our thoughts, attitudes, values, behaviour and conduct is the step which leads us to be generous and hospitable towards others. 

Let me suggest that the twilight and sunshine views have many differences!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Peace, the ambience between people

I noticed, probably a  jet in our air space this morning! It was tiny to watch. But for the trial it left in the sky I would have missed it. 

It looked like a passenger air craft of Oman Air from the inscription on its belly!

I have noticed movements of other air crafts more than the usual in the recent weeks. I wondered whiter some of them are war air crafts as the newspapers mentioned about more vigilance in our international borders. 

While we celebrate the coming of the Prince of Peace into our midst, we are reminded of the reality of strife and tension which disrupt peace. The Ukrainian crisis seems to have no end in sight. The Indo-china border dispute is still brewing. The Pakistan occupied Kashmir is another tension prone border. The Afghanistan and Iranian situations are equally alarming.

It was a question from a six year old child, which made me aware of this paradox. His question was: 'Why is that stars and lights are displayed in the shop only in December? During the rest of the time what we find in the toy section of a supermarket is a collection of guns, racing cars,  earth movers, etc! If Jesus came to earth, then His coming to bring peace ought to be remembered all through the year'!

This question was upon my mind since two days. 

There are traces and marks of violence in human behaviour, communication, family life, politics, newspaper reporting, Television programmes, marketing of products, etc. 

Amidst this congestion of thoughts of divisions, hatred, animosity or desire to dominate, the message coming from Bethlehem is 'peace and goodwill' for all mankind!

It matters how we can be peace initiators!

I watched a gentleman get out of his car to pacify two people engaged in a road rage behaviour. After it was sorted out, I went to find something about his background. He is a peace activist associated with an organisation! The motto of his organisation is: Friendship towards all!

The people who watch Mr Rahul Gandhi walking to Kashmir covering over 3000 kilometres, to spread message of love, do look forward to some outcome of renewal of friendship between people who are divided on communal lines in India! 

Peace and goodwill- a cause worth pursing after, because we are all humans, called for a common journey and shared destiny. 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

A Purple Heron on Christmas Day!

I do not remember spotting a Purple Heron in our garden in the recent years. I spotted one  on the coconut palm in our garden in the morning today, which was more than a delight! They are found in south India during the winter months when they are on the migratory journey. During the few minutes it was perched on the tall palm tree, I watched its body behaviour simulating some gymnastic movements. 

I feel good because this was an addition to the different sights and experiences of this Christmas season. 

A bird consumes our attention for various reasons. One reason for me, is to feel the diversity of bird behaviours. We have Bulbuls come into the dining area and collect the banana we put out for them in a bowl. The Sunbirds come to the Bell fruit tree and break the morning silence with their bird calls. The Barbets go to the fruit bearing trees in the morning one after the other in search of their feed. The Parrots come to the Mulberry bush for the fruits. The Minas search on the lawn for what ever they can pick up to feed on. The crows come to drink from the water bowl. 

For the visiting birds our courtyard and garden have become a regular stations in their flight journey. 

Some  birds do make nests in our garden! It is when this can happen the birds become resident  in the garden. The Bulbuls who make the nest can abandon it sometimes when they suspect that predators are around. This happened twice in our courtyard during this season.  They he nest below is that of a large bird like a crow.

The Bulbuls who visit almost daily for a look at the car mirror continued its frolic even when I arrived on the spot to get into the car yesterday. That is the level of comfort some birds can feel with humans. Obviously they want to be near  the human habitations for various reasons. 

It is now twenty five years since I started using a SLR camera which opened up for me an opportunity to be near the birds. 

The resident and visiting birds make our garden a theatre of activities out of which the bird calls and their feeding times are occasions to spot them to make them feel welcome!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Finding the left out space!

I came out to look for the reason for the cacophony in our front garden. A pair of crows were chasing away Magpie Robins, Bulbuls, Sunbirds and Barbets who had come to feed on the custard apple.

The crows managed to chase them away. The crows did not seem to be interested in the custard apple,  but was seeking to  occupy the tree space in the garden. 

Amidst this movements of birds, I noticed a Magpie Robin perched in a branch hidden away from sight under the foliage of the tree. I watched this bird, flight ready with a vigilant, and perhaps a frightened look. Its vulnerability continued even when it occupied only the left our space. Even the left out space which normally not sought after by other birds did not appear to be safe!

This sight took me to the Bethlehem scene, where Mary after giving birth to her son, '... wrapped Him in clothes, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn' (Luke 2:7). The left out place where only animals lived was the space where Jesu of Nazareth found his first earthly home. 

I felt crowded with thoughts as I stayed dwelling on the Bethlehem scene and the sight in our garden. The Magpie Robin hidden away in the foliage symbolised to me the scene surrounding the manger in Bethlehem. Jesus of Nazareth although had only the manger, a left out space, brought joy, glad tidings and hope to the shepherds and wise men who came to visit Him. 

Anna and I think about the events in the left out spaces all-round us, where people live fearfully and anxiously. In one sense, the way to be co-pilgrims with those who live in the left out spaces is to choose to live one's vocation in the left out space.

There are times when one might feel displaced even from the left out spaces! To live in the left out space and ever ready to move on when displaced is the true spirit of pilgrimage. I got a sense of this from the Magpie Robin positioning itself with its head and tail held in a flight ready mode! It is not a flight out fear, but because of desire to find the next left out space to live the vocation!

Anna and I feel vulnerable now, when two organisations into which ASHIRVAD contributed significantly in the last twenty five years to initiate child development activities, did not acknowledge it before the authorities of the government, who are currently inspecting all charitable organisations in the country to verify their authenticity. So we have been walking through troubled waters recently. 

Amidst the valley experience we have been through, Anna mentioned one morning, 'What if we produce a table calendar for 2023 to remember the 40 years of service of ASHIRVAD with flowers from the garden?'! That is how she designed the calendar,  Flowers for the year, which when we collected from the press three days ago, lifted us form the gloom of the recent weeks.

Living in the left out spaces brings their own risks and stresses. But it is when we are able to look around us, we would feel refreshed by the joys of life that still abound! Every flower in the calendar, has a story associated with it. Life is therefore a collection of stories of peeks and valleys, and not a one sided narration. The manger space is a place of fullness of joy, and stress of having to move out when there is pressure to do it, as it occurred to Mary and Joseph who had to move to Egypt with Jesus, as Herod was 'going to search for the child to destroy Him' (Mat.2:13). Mary and Joseph along with their son, Jesus lived in exile in Egypt until the death of Herod. 

I found these jasmine flowers with dew of the winter night at a hidden space at the edge of our garden this morning! It symbolised the fullness that one can experience while living one's vocation in the left out spaces!

I have every reason to remember Christmas in the year 2022, with the joy and anxiety, the first Christmas was associated with. Since the tinnitus started in in my one ear, this is  one time  in the last two months, the noise level is at its lowest, often not felt till I consciously attempt to hear it!  This is comforting although anxious thoughts linger on about how ASHIRVAD will be rated by the government as a charitable organisation!

Each day has its ups and downs. Through it all, growing to live with peace within is the calling to which I hope Anna and I will be able to respond and practice giving and forgiving!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

 

Between two days!

The rose flower in the first picture has an elegant look. The second photo taken on the next day morning has an ornamental look with water drops on the petals, following a rain fall.

The new look is given to it by the water drops on the petals. 

On another Christmas eve, this thought is lingering in my mind!

We receive a new orientation in life  through what we are given.

The spheres about whom we read in the Luke's version of the birth of Jesus, the shepherds receive a detailed mention in Chapter 2, verses 8-18.

The shepherds having received the news of birth of Jesus from an angel, set out to meet Jesus in a manger at Bethlehem. 'And when they had seen this, they made known the statement which had been told them about about their child'(v.17).

On receiving the message and finding Jesus, they became messengers of the good news. 

This change from being shepherds to good news bearers is worth pondering over! God's visitation in our lives would make us come alive to fullness, just as the rose flower received a graceful look from the water drops on it. 

To live kindly and thoughtfully towards others is one change that takes place when our mind space becomes a manger for Jesus of Nazareth. 

A rose flower changing to be more than its natural self is a message of hope! 

When we receive God's ways in our lives, we become fully alive! 

That is the journey into becoming!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Looking beyond!

The above two pictures of two sunbirds suggest that they are looking for nectar!

But the pictures below of some birds who visit our garden carry another message in their looking! They look beyond to decide on their flight path towards the next flight station. 

I took time during the week to look at more pictures of birds who suggested that they were looking beyond. 

It is now ten years since we were at the current place of our work. Anna and I retired couple of years ago. The institution wanted me to continue for a while till a new consultant identified to replace me. That is  how I continued for the last two years. 

Watching these birds with their steadfast look towards for the beyond made me wonder whether it is a signal to me to look beyond!

The look of the Magpie Robin below shows an upward look, which awakened me to a new consciousness about the source from where one can find direction! A journey beyond can only come when the call to move is perceived and well timed. 

In the posture and look of this Magpie Robin there is a message of composure and waiting! This held my attention. Looking for journey beyond starts not by anxious striving, but by experiencing an inner composure of readiness and ease. When the time to move has come, it is like a bird who flies knowing where to go and how to reach there. The prophet Elijah was led to the woman of Zarephathe when the brook from where he drank dried up and the ravens stopped coming with bread! I like the imagery of that move because there was a direction and destination because he was 'led' to 'go'! 

The photo of these Bee eater birds below, looking beyond, gives Anna and me inspiration because while the one is alert and diligent, the other bird is in a resting posture! For Anna and myself this has come  a symbol- wait for the journey beyond diligently and restfully!

The birds who visit us are messengers and communicators of truth, which often is nascent and tentative within. In and through their behaviour, they cause our thoughts to converge to a focus. 

God of love is also merciful to guide and comfort. During the week when we felt as never before that our time has come to move on from where we are now, we are being given the steps towards discerning the path for the journey beyond!

Those who seek shall find and those who wait shall receive the call to walk into the path towards the beyond. 

How comforting it is to know that the Shepherds and Wise men about whom we read in the Bethlehem event of birth of Jesus received  messages of clarity!

This givess us comfort and hope! So we  wait to be guided into the path beyond! A closure and new beginning are steps of movements within towards begin the journey beyond!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)