The skyline yesterday-sight form our garden!

As I was leaving for work yesterday, this was how the sky looked. The downpour started while I was on my way and some portions of the road were already submerged in water in a short time. It rained continuously for three hours in the morning only to resume in the afternoon. 

It was our neighbour, who have cows and goats who reminded me in the evening about the havoc rain caused during the day, The grass in the field. where she normally took the cows to graze was fully covered with water. The animals were hungry and she had to fetch special food for the animals.

Back at home in the evening, I met two of our neighbours who live on their daily wages from the work in the farm. It was the second day, they could not work. I could sense the agony in their voice. 

A rain is more than just a nature event. It leaves behind a story of agony for animals and people alike. 

The Kudumbashree, a voluntary organisation of women in our village runs a communist kitchen on such occasions to take care of those who need help. 

I returned home thinking of my childhood days in our village. Most of the houses were thatched houses in the nineteen fifties. Sure enough houses leaked in heavy rain. The cooking was done with firewood. It was difficult to light the firewood when it was was drenched in water. Only few homes had Kerosine stove at that time for cooking. There was lot of water stagnation around the house as there was no drainage system in place. The rainy season was a nightmare for many families in the village. 

The road leading to our home from the main road is full of pot holes now. Although it is only a three minute drive, it is a difficult drive during this season. I noticed that a scooterist lost his blanche as he negotiated a submerged pot hole. 

Rain is most welcome; but the associated inconveniences are similar to what it was fifty years ago! 

M.C.Mathew(Text and photo)

Pictures of the week !

A magpie Robin, a resident in our garden, on a rainy morning !

Ready to fly or land!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Fifty years old coffee plants!

The coffee plants in our garden still yield even after fifty years, although not as well as they used to be. Every time I walk past these plants, I remember my parents who ventured to plant them even after some neighbours told them that coffee plants need good winter season for them to thrive which was not possible in the planes. 

For every assumption there is an exemption. This was one of them. It was my parents who popularised coconut farming in our village. 

People had until then believed that coconut palms grow only in coastal areas. Then came the experiments with black pepper. I remember may parents distributing the stems of black pepper to the neighbours to plant. At one stage we had pepper on at least hundred trees, yielding a good crop even season. 

We grow by embracing challenging our beliefs and changing them when we are ready. 

The  Rose plants grafted in Bangalore do not seem to survive well in Kerala as there is larger rain fall in Kerala. This is the first rainy season since we planted some of them. The rose plants look dull and the flowers look smaller. But it looks like they would survive the rains. Had they been in a green house they would have done better. 

I have been through different experiences in life that I am inclined to find the roots of our beliefs. Often beliefs are not grounded on facts of truth. 

It is a pleasant experience when one can discover a truth concealed in a tradition and revise the belief !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The burden of living!

As I watched this senior citizen walk past, I observed him carrying a bag, bundle of papers, an umbrella and was well covered with a face mask!

With all the restrictions imposed on senior citizens due to the COVID 19, I take time to chat with senior citizens to get a feel of their sense of wellness and coping skills. 

One new realisation that dawned on me is that they are not necessarily internet skilled. Although a lot can be done staying at home through accessing internet facilities, many senior citizens do not have access to it or are not versatile. 

So they end up having to go to offices to get their work done. Do they get a priority care in any of these places! No!

One gentleman mentioned to me how difficult it was to walk back home after his eyes were dilated for an eye check up!  He had little money left to hire an auto-rickshaw to go home. He struggled to avoid the glare of the bright sun. He did not have a sun glass to wear. 

The stress the senior citizens encounter in the journey of life is underestimated. I travelled in a public transport. There are designated seats for senior citizens. But at least three of us, senior citizens were standing, while the young people occupying the seats looked the other way. The conductor of the bus was least thoughtful!  Two ladies sitting in regular seats got up to offer us a place. I was touched by that thoughtful offer. One senior citizen used that offer.  

There are many stories of senior citizens getting abandoned even by their own children!

The picture of this senior citizen walking,  carrying symbols of burdens on his person, stays with me. How terrible it is to leave them to fend for themselves in the evening years of their lives!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

What is in a bud!

As I watched this bud became a golden coloured Hibiscus flower over four days, I had no idea of what would become of this bud! I was surprised by its elegance and splendour. There were ants crawling  to the base of flower for its nectar.

I was involved in observing about 600 newborns within five minutes of their arrival from their mother's womb in 1977 as part of a research project during my post graduate training in Child health at the Medical College, Nagpur. Forty three years later, I look back over those nights days when I spent in observing babies on arrival. 

One experience which still lingers in mind is a sense of suspense. What would become of them! All those who live now are in their mid forties and hopefully content and fulfilled!

I attempted to to trace some of them a few years back in an effort to get a glimpse of what they have become. I could not carry that forward due to difficulties to trace them in their old address. 

I spend a lot of time with infants and toddlers in my work now. One question, I often explore actively is the attachment process infants develop with the parents. 

The attachment process is an emotional bonding between parents and their child, which is the sheet anchor of stability in personal behaviour and social responses of an infant and a toddler. When a child and parents are bonded well, a child feels secure, affirmed and the sense of belonging develops which then permits children to explore the environment, relate socially and connect with the events and happening around the child's world. 

This solitary golden coloured Hibiscus stands apart from all other flowers in the corner of our garden. Its colour and petal formation make it special among all the other flowers. The transition from being a bud to a flower was a normal process, because the plant provided the nurture.

However childhood formation calls for attention and diligence. From conversations with parents, I have a strong suspicion that infants and toddlers have many parent substitutes-mobile phone, TV, cartoons, baby sitters, day care centres, grandparents, etc.

Are children getting displaced from the ambience of bonding and belonging, which alone can give them the opportunity to grow up to be settled and colourful children in later years! 

There is a lot between the cup and lip. Is parenting a focus and aspiration of parents in the changing times!

When Anna and I wrote the 'Parenting your child' in 1999, children grew up in an altogether different environment. The gadgets which surround children now did not exist then. Parents had more time and inclination to befriend their children interactively. Now most parents are tired or preoccupied to give their full attention to their children!

Childhood formation tales place now-a-days without adequate parenting influence. I lament over it! An infant is like a bud all ready to bloom! Does he or she receive the nurture from parents!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The revival of a Butter fruit tree!

The butter fruit tree in our garden was uprooted in a storm four months ago. 

The two main stems were cut closer to the roots in the hope that they would sprout again. 

They did sprout and and have covered the stem with many new shoots. 

This revival is phenomenal!

Out of a devastation, a new life emerges!

It is a lesson of hope that nature brings to us when we have the most disturbing news about the rampant spread of COVID 19 in different places in India!

What sustains us is this message of hope!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

? A grey squirrel

I am used to seeing striped squirrels in our garden.

Yesterday I spotted a grey squirrel! It is a new arrival in our garden! I wish someone could help to identify its species and name!

It was its loud and repetitive chirps which dragged me to the corner of our garden!

This was a surprise on Sunday morning!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

Flowers to all caring for those affected by COVID19 at MOSC !

Anna and I want to send these flowers from our garden to all the staff engaged in taking care of those coming for treatment  to MOSC Medical College Hospital!

You are in our thoughts!

May we be steadfast till we subdue this pandemic!

When we feel weary and anxious, may we be a support to each other!

I wish there was a weekly debriefing session for sharing experiences to feel strengthened and stay motivated!

To all those who feel lonely and find each day demanding, let these flowers bring cheer, because each of you is truly as colourful as each of these flowers are!

We need celebrate the gift of life and honour life as never before, as we feel most vulnerable and helpless with the COVD 19 around. 

Life is for living in all its fullness; let not COVID 19 reduce us to live fearfully. We are called to be people  of hope although pilgrims! 

I wish there were occasions to meet and celebrate the sense of belonging as a community! What if there was coffee and cake in the Badminton hall once a week for people to drop in when free, to see each other to celebrate our togetherness!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Mid-Life Formation

Letter-15

 

Dear Friends, 

Greetings. 

Another week is behind us. Each of us has many memories of the experiences of the last week.

Let me share with you an experience of the last week. I watched the first blossom last week in the Barberton Daisy in our courtyard garden. 

By the time I noticed the bud, the petals were already partly visible beyond the calyces. I felt sorry to have missed the bud in its earliest stage. I kept watching the bud in the morning and evening every day from last Monday. Today the flower is in full bloom. I share some photographs of the different stages of the flower blooming.

Between the first and second photos, there was a gap of just one day. Between the second and third photos there was a gap of two days.  The next stage took almost five days, which was when the flower was partly open (4^thphotograph). Subsequently in one day it was almost in full bloom. It might open even more and would stay for about three to four days before it droops and sheds its petals.  

The longest time it took for one stage was five days, when it moved from being a globe of petals to the partially open flower stage (photos three and four). This is the longest season in the total life span between the bud stage and the full bloom of the flower. 

The four days were a season of formation from a cluster of petals to an integrated arrangement to form a flower, with its colour, aroma and nectar.  

This sight did engage my thoughts to explore if it is a metaphor of some significance!

 

 

 

  

We humans too have different stages in our lives. The seasons of infancy, toddler, early childhood, mid child childhood, late childhood, preadolescent years, adolescent years, youth and adulthood are successive seasons in our lives. From being an adult, we enter into mid-life in our lives, which falls between 45 and 55 years. Some anthropologists extend this to 60 years, as life span has extended to at least 80 years in many countries.

The ten to fifteen years, which we refer to as mid-life is often a defining season in the lives of all of us. The five critical ingredients of mid-life formations are, Awareness of our self, Belief practices, Calling in life, Development of integrative living and Enlargement of consciousness. This ABCDE of mid-life formation is spread over ten to fifteen years, which then would lead us, according to the stages of psychosocial development theory of Ericsson, to a level of identity, intimacy and generativity, by the time we cross the sixth decade of life. I wish mid-life formation would receive greater attention to protect us from the mid-life crisis! 

It is the assembly of the flower petals in an orderly fashion and design which creates a flower. Each petal opens up and embraces each adjoining petal to become confluent so as to be a Flower. Together they give colour and aroma to a flower. 

It is when humans live in such a relationship of nearness, self-giving, trustful mutuality and interdependence, we become a community of people known for our virtues, values and altruism.

This season of stress on account of COVID 19, economic recession, polarised positions of nations, bargaining for power, trade war, etc. have fragmented the humanity! We are now less than humane and neighbour friendly! 

Most of you who receive this letter are in your mid-life. Although you might be caught in the travails of life and hospital work, take time to pay attention to your mid-life formation, which alone would make it possible for you to celebrate the joys of life in the latter years!

Let me present below the metaphor of two Daisy flowers sharing the space of one earthen pot, its nutrients, shelter while springing from the same plant. 

 

This metaphor suggests to me that all mission hospitals have a common origin, common journey and common destiny. We might be different from each other externally and existentially! But all the hospitals are the expressions of the healing ministry of Jesus of Nazareth!

Together we coalesce to be a witness unto Him, ‘who will draw all people to Himself’ !

With warm regards from Anna and myself.  

 

M.C.Mathew, 26.7.2020

When dark clouds gather!

When dark clouds gather we know that it is often a signal to a downpour. 

There are several signals in the geo-political scene in the horizon. America-china trade war is leading to break down in the diplomatic communication with America closing down the Chinese embassy in one city and threatening to do so in more places. There is tension in Indo-China borders and Indo-china sea. There are tensions between Israel and Palestine over West Bank; there are unfortunate developments in Iraq; the COVID 19 is spreading with its second and third waves in some countries. The educational front is in serious crisis as students are unable to return to their colleges as the colleges remain closed. The trade front is in serious peril. The Airlines have suffered so seriously that their recovery is under great threat. Even a petty shop keeper who made his living from it, is now left with only 25 percent of income. A daily wage earner gets a job once a week if he is fortunate. 

I remember a verse in the Bible from the book of Isaiah1:17, 

'Learn to do good, 

Seek justice, 

Reprove the ruthless, 

Defend the orphan, 

Plead for the widow'.

As I kept looking at the clouds and their movements, I lost sight of the sky for a while. The sky was still blue in its normal majesty.

Certain things do not change.

Some things change and bring disaster. 

Isaiah in the same chapter, verse, 16 offers an invitation: 

'Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean;

Remove the evil of your deeds from My sight

Cease to do evil'.

When dark clouds gather, it is necessary to keep reminding ourselves of the bright blue sky, which is the same and follow the path Isaiah prescribed for us, 'Cease to do evil'

I struggle with it a lot. To remain sober in a volatile situation needs inner readiness. The vocation for all of us to live by learning to do good, seeking justice, reproving the ruthless, defending the orphan and pleading for the widow.

Our interest ought to transcend our comforts and conveniences. 

Humanity is bound in a bond of shared living where those who suffer or are unjustly treated receive our support!

As I listen to families during the on-line consultation, I sense the exhaustion that has set in as they are home bound and children would have lost one academic year by the time the COVID 19 pandemic settles down!

We call this as the 'new normal'! 

I wish we would take time to ponder if we have departed from 'neighbour friendly' living as nations and individuals! Has the evil of profit and success at the cost of others come to stay as the 'new normal'!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Leaves, flowers and guests!

I wanted to explore what might be the insects which thrive on the leaves and flowers! I knew larvae might feed on the leaves. I found flower mantis and spider in the flowers. 

The leaves and  flowers are helpless when these insects feed on them. The guests destroy the host. Unlike the honey bee, which only feeds on the nectar, the larvae and insects make the plants and flowers part of their life cycle. 

Is it a parasitic existence!

This is the cycle of nature. The lives are lived sharing with each other;  in the process there is an apparent harm and loss!

Yesterday, when I went to buy a broiler, I noticed how the hens kept running away form the butcher! They have the experience of other hens caught and butchered! That sight was disturbing to say the least!

No wonder, there is a growing following for vegetarianism. 

The garden is a place from where we understand a lot about flora and fauna. One experience I have is a new understanding about 'pests'! They destroy some plants and the use of insecticides becomes a natural option. But they come back. The organic manuring is a better option. The plants and shrubs seem to thrive and 'pests' stay away and the plants are not harmed by the insecticide spray. The chemical content of the insecticides deposit in the ground which in the long run harms the soil.  Lavishly watering the leaves of plants and shrubs is another way to remove the many insects which can harm the plants. 

There is a need to develop a garden friendly approach, which is inclusive and accommodative of all insects! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

All is not well with on-line learning!

I have gathered a lots of information from scientific community in the last two months about the advantages of schooling for children which cannot be substituted by any modern technological tool. 

A suggestion that the policy makers did not entertain to weigh and consider was to offer schooling to student in batches. A class of forty students could have been divided into groups of ten, with each being able to come to school for two days a week, which meant with reduced hours and school in two shifts would still have provided opportunity to students to benefit from all the advantages of class room learning, interactive learning and social belonging! 

The Indian Academy of Paediatrics had circulated a robust plan to restart schools about tow months back! Who cares for children!

We missed an opportunity to be innovative!

Now we struggle with the many undesirable outcome of prolonged screen tine!

M.C.CMathew(text and photo)

A season of plenty!

What I find, when I walk in our garden is the sign of abundance in plants and trees. It is a refreshing sight and brings hope in a difficult season globally.

It is about COVID 19, there is news and views in the media. It is almost threatening to think about what might happen in the coming season, psot monsoon when the winter sets in. Going by the predictions,  it is most unsettling. 

It is in this setting, I feel enthused and refreshed by these sights in our garden. The earth is producing its produce in its season for humankind. 

We are not forsaken or left behind! We are provided for and destined to live abundantly because the humans have been bestowed to overcome and subdue the hostile environment!

These seeds, fruits, bud about to  blossom tell me that, life has a journey beyond the present devastation we encounter due to the corona infection. Although we have lost thousands of people  to the infection, and its rage still continues depleting us of our resources and resilience, it could only be a valley which shall lead us to the mountain. 

So much focus is on the present, which is how it should be, that we cannot lose the hope that shall sustain us to get ready for a new beginning and prospects of renewal of humanity in its perspectives, values and sense of belonging and togetherness. 

It was the League of nations after the first world war. Following the second world war the United Nations, World Health Organisation and many similar international bodies were born. Now the WHO remains discredited due its failure to be the co-ordinating body during this pandemic; the UN is under suspect because the voice of nations do not get represented adequately in its deliberations. 

Let me suggest that a new international dispensation is likely to emerge!  A country like the USA with its potential to be a leader to show the way of containing the pandemic has been a bad example; its president defied to wear a mask until last week. The USA is a country of contradictions and brought disrepute to scientific temper. China allowed this devastation by its wilful neglect in delaying to share information about COVID 19 to the global community. 

Let us return to the Mother Earth. It shall still give its produce for humans even when humans exploit it thoughtlessly. The God of universe favours His creation because of which we too shall live in hope! It is a time to be awakened to this new reality that the present shall pass away and a new future shall unfold itself! 

Till then, doing good for others is a worthwhile cause to pursue!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Swinging in the wind!

It is the third day, after I watched this dry leaf still hanging on a strand of a web and swinging in the wind, inspite of rain and strong winds in between. 

I heard a story of a family of nine years old child, who have many behavioural difficulties, suspicious of Asperger syndrome. He finds the class room learning difficult. Since the on line learning commenced two months back, it is a burden to him to sit still fo rah class. Instead, he designs, draws, writes poem and prose,  and has enormous narrational skills of fictional content. The family waited for him to settle well in his formal schooling and that has not happened. It is when the family is at a cross road, they sought for an on line consultation to find a conversational time. With the family expecting their next baby shortly, there is a stressful waiting!

I felt that this family was holding on like this dry leaf hanging in a slender strand of a web. 

Many of us have similar situations in our lives, when we are left with no other choice than holding on, sometimes with feeble strength. 

I am in a situation now, when I feel disturbed by the ground slipping under my feet. I gave myself to get a team together to reach out to families in distress who were holding on with slender hope. When one is involved in such situations, the financial viability of the organisation is at stake. The COVID 19 pandemic has offset it further as for the last three months we had to abandon our direct contact with children and families. This has reduced the income beyond our capacity to compensate. 

I watched this dry leaf swinging in the wind while all the above thoughts passed through my mind. There are times, when we feel threatened to be swept away in the wind, having lost the support of the slender strand of hope that helped us to hold on!

Seeing the leaf hanging on even on the third day, was a good enough sign to me that all is well, if only we can live with the vision of 'one step at a time'!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Stretching and straining to live!

Letter 14

Dear friends, 

Greetings and from Anna and myself. The last week was even more unsettling for all of us as we witnessed the ugly events in the legislature in the state of Rajasthan. All those responsible in attempting to dislocate a government, when the country is battling with saving lives and controlling the spread of corona infection, have made us wonder about the wisdom of our political leadership. They could have waited for a better time!

 

People are stretching and straining to live. I got a closer view of this as I watched a Barbet strain itself to feed on a guava in our garden. It was a vivid reminder of how difficult it has become to live leisurely!

 

 

The barbet was stretching and straining itself to reach the guava. The first picture is revealing of the bird instinct. Having found its food, it was calling out to other birds to arrive for a meal.

 

 

The above three pictures show how effortful it was for the barbet to get a bite of guava!

From what I heard from some of you during the last week, I get a sense of your preparedness and readiness to face the weeks ahead, when the COVID 19 is likely to spread more. 

 

A village not too far away from where we live, has a volunteer group, who visits every home in the village at least twice a week and telephone each home every day. They follow all the protocols required and has received 100 percent compliance with wearing mask and physical distancing from the commuity. Out of curiosity, I drove past the village last week to find people in the roadside with masks and stay distant from each other even when they are in small groups of two or three. I stopped to have a conversation with a small group to hear them talk about their experience. They referred to this volunteer group who made a significant difference to them. They got three tailors stitch the masks they use and created a fund in the village to look after the immediate needs of those who have lost their jobs and are home bound. Those families receive a packet of five kilos of rice, every week. Some volunteers visit homes where there are young children with toys and books to occupy them in the evening. The senior citizens are taken care of by the volunteers arranging for their medicines, insulin injections, etc. There is a team who would arrange for ambulance when anyone needs to go to a hospital. Another volunteer group is working on helping alcohol dependent people to go through de-addiction. 

 

There was an elderly gentleman in the group whom I was talking to, who lived in that village for forty five years.  He had not seen the village so peaceful and collaborative anytime in the past. He attributed to the efforts of a group of young people, mostly college going students. I was keen to meet one of them.  I was guided to one of them who was gathering trash form the street. He told me that he heard the story of the Good Samaritan in the school assembly and ever since that he was looking for an opportunity to offer some help to people in need. Most of his friends in the volunteer group according to him, are those who are keen to offer some help to the community because they like helping others. Normally they would gather together to watch movies in the evening. Since they started helping others, they have no time for entertaining themselves. They prefer this to their earlier routine.

 

Out of a difficult situation, a new consciousness did dawn on most people in that village. This is one favourable outcome of the trials we go through. It is when we are stretched or feel strained, we find a way forward. The difficult times are also formative and restorative times. 

 

Naaman was a successful warrior but was suffering from leprosy (2Kings 5: 1-14). It was a girl in captivity from Israel, waiting on Naaman’s wife, who said, ‘I wish that my master were with the prophet who is in Samaria! Then he would cure him of his leprosy (v.3). That is what made Naaman go to Elisha (v.9). He came back healed after dipping himself seven times in the river Jordan at the suggestion of Elisha. He had to stretch and strain himself to go to Samaria to receive healing. The difficulties and challenges bring a gain at the end of it. 

The girl in captivity through whom Naaman received healing transcended her helpless situation   and responded sensitively to a needy situation. Most people who feel stretched or strained bring the best out of their lives because they live resiliently and hopefully.

 

It is during the difficult times we shall be surprised to find some changing experiences! There is a greater good awaiting us beyond COVID 19! Can we turn our attention to this possibility!

Each of us can be a means to usher in a favourable outcome that await us by doing the little good we can do now! 

With much regards and good wishes,

 

M.C.Mathew, 19.7.2020