The Journey !

During my walk in a village, at sunrise, I noticed an elderly person walking on the road with staggering steps using a walking stick! He crossed the road at a bamboo grove! I wondered what was his destination. 

I saw him walking towards the paddy field which was being harvested! He stood watching this. As I saw few people watching me with my camera, I did not proceed to take more pictures. What I saw was this man going near the partially harvested field and standing to watch the field with  rapt attention. 

I happened to enquire from those who were standing by as to whether that field where he went to visit belonged to him. Yes, it was the land he cultivated from his young days. Now his son cultivated the land. This man suffered form an illness about four months ago, which made his let side weak and since then he mo longer is active. Since his partial recovery, he was used to visiting the paddy field every morning. He was no more sociable and communicate although he has language skills. I wondered he was still grieving over his lost skills of being able to work and look after the crops!

On my return form this touching sight, I was drawn by some thoughts about the experiences in one's life. I felt for him. He was able to walk to the field,  which he cultivated for about sixty years! He is taking time to bid farewell to his life experiences. Usually cultivating a field in a rural area was a community activity, each farmer helping each other. It was an experience of shared experiences where neighbours supported each other and cared to help. 

I heard an incident in northern Kerala, where a neighbour offered to cultivate the land when the owner suffered an illness because of which he could no longer work. This neighbour by cultivating the land sustained for his friend, sustained the family of two children for three years till their son joined the family to take responsibility. Such stories of mindfulness and neighbourly attitude is common in rural areas. 

For this elderly man, life would have been a journey of mixed experiences. 

On another occasion while on a walk to the same village, I noticed this man sitting in his courtyard, lost in his won thoughts. 

He lived his journey of life and bequeathed his heritage to his family. I thought that he is a living symbol of people,  who laboured with their hands for a lifetime, to leave a blessing behind for their family. He lived with hope and purpose even when his mobility was restricted. 

What caught my imagination was how he crossed the road as seen in the series pf photos above. He crossed slowly and mindfully across a road. 

To live with such a sense of attention to life and living is a calling! He lives well and purposefully even when his abilities are declining. He lived facing and overcoming challenges in his life!

To live with hope and purpose is a blessing!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

 

A walk in a rural road !

The rural areas in north India have a charm of their own. 

An early morning walk on a misty day, with sun rays partially obscured by the rising sun,  caught my attention and told me stories of people and their journey style.  

The first was the spider's web between the corn heads woven with plan and design. It had a sagging pattern deliberately designed to trap a prey with least chance for escape. I got consumed by this amazing sight! It was just a spider,  planning for its daily bread. 

It is a common sight men and women herding their cattle to the grazing ground in the morning. One cow left the other three while they were being led and ran ahead to get into the paddy field,  which was almost ready for harvest. The herdsman did not seem bothered by it. when he called her by its name,  the cow returned to the fold. The headman showed no indication of anxiety as he knew that the cow would hear his voice and return to him. I saw how a cow responded and joined the others at the bidding of the herdsman! I am familiar with dogs responding to a human command, but to see it in a cow was more than surprising. Jesus of Nazareth in his teachings said, 'the sheep  hear the voice of the shepherd' ! 

Following this was a pleasant sight of two children returning from a shop,  sharing a pocket of snacks. I wonder if it was a morning routine!

The next sight was a woman walking with her bag, possibly to her work place. All through about 100 meters I saw her walking, she had her head bowed! I wonder whether she was preoccupied with her burdens and was heavy of heart!

The two elderly men walking beside each other  talking and listening was a sight  of a leisurely walk that older people are used to for the pleasure of walking. They go to places where people flock in the  morning often in a  tea shop for tea and conversation. That is where the events of the previous 24 ours get shared and discussed. It often is a strategic place of opinion formation when people debate and exchange on affairs concerning their lives. 

This scene reminded me of the time,  when a good number of people from our village went to a tea shop in the morning, seventy years ago.  About thirty to forty men came to talk and listen and read from the only news paper in the village, which arrived in the morning. Those who subscribed for newspapers to be delivered at home,  got the newspaper at mid day, which came along with the postal mail delivery service. The tea shop owner had an arrangement with an early morning private bus service, which brought his newspaper, to ensure that customers had another reason to come to the tea shop. He ensured regular customers to come for tea through this incentive. 

A fascinating sight of a Bulbul with a mouthful of the fruit, next to it,  hanging from a creeper caught my attention. 

The mystery of a spider weaving an intricate design, a cow with a tempered habit, children walking together, a woman appearing burdened, two men on a leisurely walk and a Bulbul with a mouthful of its morning feed, revealed the spectrum of events at the beginning of day in a village. 

The colour and mood of life in a rural setting is different. We do not come across hurry and haste. We feel that people live each occasion with a sense of delight or expectation. 

The burden of livelihood of the rural folk in the recent years after COVID, was evident as people talked about what they did not have or the escalating cost of living. 

I stopped at a fruit shop on my way back, when the shop keeper told me that his daily sale was nearing 3000 rupees in a normal day, four years ago, which is now half of that. People's paying capacity has declined and cost of living is on the rise. 

I overheard a conversation of the above three people, about the high cost of fuel and decreased mileage the motor bike gave. The other two had returned to using bicycles as their income has declined. 

The rural folks have similar sad stories. Yesterday, I heard a group of delivery boys, who carry food and grocery from super markets to homes, discussing as how they earn only 20 rupees for a delivery within two kilometres. That appalled me. They do not get paid for petrol on most of the times. 

I remembered how 'neighbourhood wellness services' existed after the second world war in suburban areas in some parts of Europe. The well to do people did not allow anyone suffer from lack of basic facilities. 

The north eastern churches in India had a practice of requesting women to save a handful of rice,  every time they cooked food, which was gathered from every home to help those who lived with meagre income.  

I returned from the morning walk with these mixed feelings. There is something that I thought I too can do to respond to the unspoken

needs of others! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A life well lived in serving!

The news of the home call of Dr K.C.Mammen came to me, while I was travelling during this week, in the north eastern area. Since I last spoke to him, I knew that he was declining in health. 

However, when one receives the news of the home call of person, who left deep impressions about a way of living with a sense of vocation in the practice of medicine, one feels little lost. It is with this sense of loss I attempt to recall my association with him from my medical school days. 

The first time I met him at the MOSC medical mission hospital was in 1970, when I cam home for holidays in my third year of medical studies. As my father needed medical attention, I accompanied him  to the MOSC medical mission hospital, at Kolenchery. It was then I heard that Dr Mammen, a  former professor of Child Health at CMC Medical College, Vellore was its Medical director. 

I came on another day to meet him in the afternoon. I waited outside his office as he was engaged in a meeting. After the meeting he came out to greet me and welcomed me to his office room. To meet a gentle spoken, smiling person with thoughtful manners was surprising as it was my first meeting and I was only a medical student. His one concern was that I do well in undergraduate studies and specialise in an area of my interest. He did share his experience as a paediatrician and the opportunities in this field. 

It was during that meeting, I realised why the MOSC medical mission planned to have a hospital at Kolenchery. It was a rural area and the nearest place for any form of secondary care medical support  was about twenty kilometres away. He felt the need of a hospital with in-patient care. He discontinued his position at CMC Vellore, to be the medical director of the initiative, which was in its early stage. He brought another six doctors from CMC, hoping that they together can develop the hospital, which was what had happened. The initial hundred bed hospital grew to be a five hundred bed hospital by the time he left his term of voluntary service after 18 years. Now it is a medical college of high calibre with some distinctive features. 

It was my habit to visit him when I came for my holidays. My parents needed medical attention, and every time I visited the hospital I dropped in to meet him if he was free. During those contacts, I heard his biographical glimpses of being a medical student and his time overseas training in Paediatrics. What stood out was his caring and thoughtful ways in his approach to people and children he looked after. He lived an austere life and made it his habit to be mindful of those who needed help to move on in their lives. 

After I got into the discipline of Developmental Neurology and child development, I have had opportunities to meet him. His interest in what Anna and I were pursuing through ASHIRVAD at Chennai to help developmentally challenged children and their parents was spontaneous, that he became  a friend of ASHIRVAD. When we moved to CMC Vellore in 1997 on the invitation of CMC to start the first Developmental Paediatrics Unit in any medical college in India,  he got in touch with us to encourage us. 

Dr Mammen attended the first conference we organised for Paediatricians in 2000 and participated actively in its deliberations. One comment that he made publicly, at that time was, that 'He longed to see the specialty of Developmental Paediatrics spread widely in the medical colleges in India'. Since then he got even more enthused with the other initiatives of ASHIRVAD. During the telephone conversations during those years, I realised how closely he followed the developments in the specialty. When we got the post doctoral fellowship and PhD in Developmental Paediatrics started in 2004, Dr Mammen was one of those who kept cheering us to go on. 

When I retired from CMC in 2008, he invited me to join MOSC medical college to start a faculty of Developmental Paediatrics. Although I went to PIMS, at Pondichery to start a developmental Paediatrics unit then, Anna and I joined MOSC medical college in 2012 from where we retired in 2023. Dr Mammen kept in touch with us during our time at MOSC and encouraged us to be active in supporting medical students and  develop the Developmental Paediatric facility to be a regional institute in child development. Although that did not happen, I feel grateful for his personal interest in seeing ASHIRVAD reach out to new opportunities to sponsor child development activities. 

Dr K.C.Mammen lived his life showing how a doctor can live his life with a sense of missionary vocation. The last time I met him he talked about his declining memory and physical limitations. The telephone calls with him in the recent years brought encouragement as he still remembered the early beginnings of ASHIRVAD. 

Dr Mammen, although hailing from a family of great heritage, he clothed himself with humility, godly living and altruistic calling. He lived to serve, thinking of others. He distributed his wealth among those who needed a crutch to stand on. 

When he left CMC Vellore to be associated with the MOSC medical mission, one wondered if he was leaving a career path of outstanding prospects in Paediatrics. He belonged to the tribe of pilgrims, who followed the words of Jesus of Nazareth,  to loose in order to bring gain to others. 

Dr Mammen leaves a legacy of compassion, self giving and noble service. 

Anna and I share in the grief and loss of the family as they bid farewell to Dr Mammen. His life was a demonstration of 'not to be ministered unto but to minister'! He lived to bring wellness to others. He leaves a trail of abundant goodness. Therefore his memory brings an overwhelming sense of gratitude and celebration. 

Anna and I feel moved and shall stay grateful for the kindness and thoughtfulness we received from Dr Mammen!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Being present to oneself

 

A pair of water birds inland on a frosty morning! Their plumage appeared in a light shade of golden brown in the morning sun. They look white, when air born. 

My  presence although about 200 meters away seems to have disturbed  them. They flew away to a tree top. Some birds sense any inhospitable sign and protect themselves from being vulnerable. Their sense of presence is outstanding. They move sensing the environment. 

To be able to have such a sense of heightened awareness of what is around them is a big advantage. 

Humans also are with such a gift of sense of presence. 

A friend told me that he had to travel in a bus  to visit a friend. Once he got in to the bus, he felt uncomfortable as the bus looked unkept. He got down from the bus and waited for the next bus to come.  On his way, he noticed the earlier bus parked on the road side due to a breakdown. 

While talking about this incident, he told me that the attitude of listening to the movements within is a habit he has been cultivating for a few years now. His way is to be silent for a few moments to go inward to sense the message from within before he enters into an activity. He pauses to answer when a question is asked, which is his way of speaking the thoughts that he feels within, rather than be impulsive to give in to the first thought that surfaces in his mind. 

Being present to myself and to what is around me is a habit that I feel inspired to pursue after!

To become present to oneself is a mystical experience, according to the desert fathers, because they believed in the drawing power of God resident in the inner life! In that sense it is when God draws us to Himself that we shall find the solitude in His presence. 

The readiness to have a visitation from God is my part of the responsibility. 

The habit of aloneness,  that Jesus practiced early in the morning in the mountain,  is a pathway for all those who 'have set their heart on pilgrimage'. 

This pilgrimage is inward and into our being, which is the 'temple of the living God'!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

At sunrise!

I was on my regular morning walk on one day, last week. The sun had just risen. 

I spotted a mina picking berries and looking down intently in between. It was then my attention was drawn to the two children who had come out of their home to walk in the rear yard of the house. I could not reasonably guess the reason for their enquiring look!

But they were at this time walking between two trees. 

That brought to my mind some thoughts that were nascent and unformed, which now have moved beyond being hazy.  

All children are on a journey. From birth to the fullness of their life! The two trees provide shelter to them. A bird looking down  upon them symbolises to me the watchful eyes of God, accompanying them in this journey into life. 

What is this journey into life!

This is where there are more questions than answers. 

The formal education which starts for them at pre-school when they turn three years, is often the critical time in their lives. The schooling in most instances, drives children to learn to write tests, pass examinations and progress to join another year in the next grade. The homework done at home is an extension of the class room learning. 

It was while three children, 9, 6 and 5 years were talking descriptively, after looking through the telescope at the sky after their dinner, from the terrace of their  home, I  got a sense of what schools do not normally provide. The arousal of sense of curiosity and enquiry! It is this instinct which develops into diverse skills which childhood can provide. 

The two children in the above photo represent majority of the children who are school driven! The school curriculum decides their prospects. But these two children are on an early morning walk, looking down and around. 

What if they found a Damselfly, butterfly, lady bird or a Greater council during their walk!

The possibility of exploring and experiencing the nature around the home environment is the start of that journey beyond the class room. 

I know of a school, where children are allowed to bring their pets to the class room once a month and it is a day of getting familiar with the animal world. 

One five years old child, who was mortally afraid of dogs got used to petting a dog after having had experiences with the pet dogs of five children in his class. This is against adults in the fourth decade of life, who come to deliver Amazon orders to our home, call out from the gate, 'Is there a dog at home'!

What came alive to me was the fondness with which the Mina was looking down and following the children with its gaze. Birds want to be befriended! 

Let children be introduced to a world beyond the routines of a class room! 

I watched the two children, on seeing the movement of a squirrel in the tree, moving closer to it, when I left the spot seeing another bird movement close by!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Bird calls in the morning!

I am getting familiar with some birdcalls, chirping or singing, which might be in the form of whistling, trills, random sounds, long calls and tuneful singing. Each bird species has its own qualities of rhythm, pitch, tone and repetition. Bird lovers create spectrograms of bird calls to see graphically to appreciate and understand the inner language hidden in these sounds. 

The sounds of birds are audible. But there are sounds which they make which are infrasonic, below 20Hz and ultrasonic above 20, 000Hz, which are not audible to humans. 

It was while watching and hearing this Rufous tree pie, at dawn perched in a tall bamboo pole, in a quiet village, I got a sense of the different moods that the bird conveyed through its bird call. 

The syrynx of birds which produces the sounds give different outputs. The chirp is long or short, loud or soft, repetitive or variable, each corresponding to the mood of the bird at that time. Often it is the male bird which is melodious and tuneful while singing. During the mating season, it is a way of attracting females for dating and courtship. The inner language of bird calls is worth pursuing to get familiar with. 

During the twenty minutes when this tree pie was giving away its repetitive bird calls, looking in different directions, I knew that it was likely to attract another tree pie to its vicinity. 

That is what happened. Another tree pie arrived and perched on the top of another bamboo pole in the adjacent bamboo grove. 

Both of them flew out together from that spot beyond the bamboo grove, in a few minutes. The bird calls stopped once the other tree pie arrived.   

The birds too have an inner language of relating, belonging, giving, receiving, and trusting to be partners. About seventy percent of birds have permanent relationships and remain faithful to each other once paired. 

Their body language correspond with their bird calls. 

The tree pie was not giving away the bird calls in a sterile way, but doing it emotionally and lustily.  Its body movements corroborated its intent to be friendly. There was a friendly and inviting intent evident in its movements of the neck. 

As I walked back I pondered over the way I communicate the inner language. If the inner language is of concern, listening attitude, friendly disposition and acceptance of the other person, then that would get communicated to create a warm milieu in mutual communication. 

This needs sense of presence to align our inner language with the tone and senior of our voice and a language style that is pleasing in the listener's ear. 

This becomes important in public speaking. The listeners,  if can feel loved, touched and moved by what and how we say, then the speaker becomes present to the interior of the listeners. Sometimes the loudness of our voice, harsh words used, condescending attitude or self promotion will create distance between the speaker and the listeners. 

I kept thinking as to whether my facial smile is an expression of the regards towards the other person when I greet him or her! I felt the need to be hesitant to criticise when the other person is not ready to engage in a conversation. When the other person is not ready to listen or respond, my remarks would amount to a unilateral statement and might appear as an accusation. While criticism can be upbuilding when used creatively, an accusatory tone increases the distance in a relationship. 

We carry hurts and disappointments and if they alone inhabit our inner self, then the inner language is resentful, reactive or critical. That milieu distances us from others. 

The inner language is a mirror of our own attitude to life and living. Even when we face sorrowful or hurting situations, if the peace that dwells in the depth of our being can be experienced, then we shall communicate sober and friendly ambience even in provocative situations. If we stay accepting of ourselves, we would grow to be accepting of others in all situations. 

The inner language forms our thoughts and our spoken language connects us and build relationships. 

The language of love is a gift we offer to our listeners. 

The tree pie offered its language of love through the bird calls and found a friend!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

When the loss led to a door!

I was walking back after a surprising spotting of an Indian Pied Mina in a village !

For a week I was visiting this village early in the morning to watch bird arrivals in the harvested field. On all the days I returned around the same time. 

I noticed an elderly person carrying a container and walking pass me on every day. It aroused an interest in me to follow him on one day. I thought he might be carrying milk from his home to the local diary centre. 

But he passed by that centre and went on. At the end of about two kilometres, he turned into a narrow lane leading to a village. I differed going into the village with my camera, as it might arouse suspicion about my presence in the village.  

 

I stopped at the corner tea shop, where two other people were sipping their tea and eating hot samosa just taken out from the frying pan. I ordered for tea and samosa. While I was waiting to be served, I heard one of the men asking the other person as to who was the person walking towards the village with a container  to the village. The other person had a long story to narrate. 

I sat on a stool and turning to the other direction but my ears were attentive towards the conversation. One of them knew this person well as he and this man had a jointly owned a cloth shop twenty years back. There was dispute between them and they separated. Since then, he tried inviting him back to restore the joint ownership, but his attempts failed. Grieved by the few things this man did to his former partner, about which he regretted later, he leaves a packet of money once a month in his house unknown to his former partner, to pay back what was due to him. 

But this man with a container in his hand was on another mission. He visits an elderly man who lives alone in the village and takes for him cooked food each day in the morning. He has an arrangement with one of his friends to carry food to that senior citizen when he goes out of station. 

He goes out of station to visit few other senior citizens in distant villages, who also receive a meal each day delivered by local restaurants. During his monthly outings to five other villages, he makes advance payments to the restaurants for the delivery of food to senior citizens. 

Since the partnership separated, he picked up tailoring and stitches cloth bags for grocery shopping and sells them in the villages. He gets pieces of cloth, which the shop keepers sell at reduced price as they are bits left over after the sale. Some shop keepers give him those bits free because of his generosity towards others. 

This person lost his wife at thirty years of age due to a prolonged illness. His two children were married in distant villages who are not proactive towards him. 

From the conversation between those two in the tea shop, I overheard that this  man lived an austere life in a thatched shed. He looks out for senior citizens who live alone and tries to provide one  meal for them, each day. The local restaurants who provide the meal do so at a concessional rate. There were two others in the village, who by seeing what this man was doing to care for others, now engage in different acts of kindness towards others.  

The two people during the conversation referred to the natural habit of this Good Samaritan, to help people when they are sick. 

During this fifteen minutes, when I overheard the conversation, till more people came to the tea shop, I wondered whether I was listening to a fiction or a true story of a generous man, who lives from his meagre income!

When these two men left the tea shop, I too left. They were walking  in the same direction that I was to go. I walked behind them wondering whether I would have an opportunity to know about their background. One of them who owned a cloth shop on reaching his shop opened the shop. It was a square room of about 15 feet, where the dress materials for children and adults were available. His other companion ran a cycle shop next to the cloth shop. 

They were both small entrepreneurs. I wondered how the owner of the cloth shop would earn enough to give a gift to the Good Samaritan regularly to fulfil his moral obligation towards his former partner! To me both of them were men with an unusual spirit of altruism. 

It is those who do not have enough to live on, therefore made to live austerely, are often, who are thoughtful towards others and mindful of their needs.

Anna and I received an invitation to visit the house of a domestic helper, while visiting a hospital recently, who with her two children live in difficult circumstances but with cheerfulness that surprised us. The travails of life are upon them, but they communicated a spirit of hope and anticipation about future. 

This inner composure and kindness, while living with limited facilities and income, instead of complaining or reactive attitude surprised me. What I experienced was kindness beyond imagination. 

Jesus of Nazareth observed how people put their offerings in the treasury of the synagogue. The rich put large amounts out of their abundance of possessions. But Jesus noticed a poor widow putting two copper coins. Jesus commenting about this to those who were His followers told: '...this poor widow, put in more than all the other contributors to the  treasury, for they all put in out of surplus, but she, out of her poverty, put in all she owned, all she had to live on (Mark 12:43-44).

This is the spirit seen in many who are materially poor. They feel hunger, deprivation, sorrow and loss. They know how these experiences hurt and disturb life is a personal reality close to them. Therefore it is easier for them to be more self giving. 

A boy while given a new geometry box after waiting for a few months, responded to his mother, 'Now can I give my old geometry box to my friend'! He hailed from a family where his father is on treatment for renal disease, and grandmother is bed ridden. The mother works in two houses as a domestic worker to earn for the family. 

It is important to celebrate the birth of a new consciousness of the needs of others, when one is made to live in a disadvantaged situation. 

When I returned home, I asked myself, 'When was the last time I went out of my way to think of the needs of others and did something to share from my resources'!

It was an exceptional experience to overhear the story of a man, who built back his life to a missionary vocation of mindfulness, after loosing his partnership in the cloth shop and his own wife!  

I remembered how the Indian Pied mina was tunefully giving away its bird calls! 

To give away something would often mean drawing near to people in a loving manner!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Flowers look even more ornamental in winter!

As Anna and I leave today after spending two weeks at the Madhepura Christian Hospital, we leave our good wishes and warm regards with all those who work in the hospital, which makes that place a hospitable place for all those who come to hospital. 

We go back encouraged and cheerful. 

This flower has dew on it. That makes it even ore ornamental. 

God's favour is non the staff at MCH. That makes the hospital graceful and transformational.

What makes the hospital, a place of welcome is the mindfulness and attentiveness that the staff convey. They are usually on a send mile journey! That stands out. 

The memories of their kindness and thoughtfulness stay with us! Our wish is that the season of advent will bring new experiences of encouragement and hope!

The MCH is a friendly place for the residents of Madhepura. It is their second home!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)