The mutual education !

These photos of June 2019, when Dulcie was around two years of age, bring back memories of her socialisation intent. She would be comfortable with only few visitors. One of the visitors above was familiar with dogs and their habits and was able to develop a comfortable communication. It was following that,  others in the group felt comfortable to reach out to Dulcie. 

Dulcie now nearing nine years is charming and entertaining, and is comfortable with most visitors. She recognises who are dog friendly and others who are cautious and relates to them correspondingly. 

Anna and I have been surprised by her variable behaviour to suit the comfort zone of those who are not so dog friendly! 

Among twenty families in our neighbourhood, four families keep dogs. 

One family has a board outside on the gate, 'Beware of dog'! I found that message disturbing! To me that board announces a caution only to reinforce a false belief that dogs bite! The two dogs which they keep are generally friendly dogs! 

From our experiences with five dogs over the last thirty five years, we have an impression that humans contribute to form the behaviour of domestic dogs. Most pet dogs have a temperament which can be modulated by our behaviour and training to regulate social their skills. This has a benefit in return to us. We get more even tempered in behaviour. 

We have become familiar with dog habits to some extent that the variable looks of Dulcie can indicate her unspoken need. Her response to our questions is often clear and indicative of her needs. 

With Dulcie and Daphne, Anna and I have got educated about dog habits and needs to some extent! They occupy a space in the routines of our day!

I wish more families would become dog friendly!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The shared journey !

 

This photo of July 2019 came to my notice today. It was  a gathering of foster students that Anna and I were associated with in the Medical College from where we retired in 2022. We do have some contacts with most of them now. 

During the ten years we were associated with foster students in that Medical College, which was a new experience for students in that Medical College, we experienced a trustful and communicating link with this group. 

During the COVID years when the 'lock down' denied get togethers, we met for on-line for conversation. 

One special event was a weekly meeting of a group of five residents and consultants for fellowship and conversation in a Zoom platform, which led to a formative and life centred conversation time. One existential question we pursued in that conversation was, 'Who are we becoming and what is our desire'! The meetings continued for two years and three of whom stay in touch and refer to that period as a season of discovering the inner dimension of life! 

Most professionals have a chartered pathway for personal journey in work life and family life. They are the essentials we attend to. The work place and family life condition us to 'settle down' to a pathway  of ascendency and stability. 

The purpose of being and doing goes beyond the routines which form  our lives. 

It was during this experience with the on line group Anna and I felt encouraged to keep 'accompanying' a few as a way of relating to them. Five years later, we realise how this form of relating has been mutually uplifting and formative. For us, it was an entrance into a world of realities of younger people. For them, it might have been drawing truths about our lives from our journey in life. 

It was while we were at the Christian medical College, Vellore between 1997 and 2010, we got introduced to the foster parenting practices of medical students. This was a practice that was in existence in CMC from 1947 when the college became co-educational, residential and students joined the college through sponsorship of  from churches and organisations belonging to the Christian Medical College Vellore association. Each faculty family relating to about five to eight students during their five years of undergraduate training became an influence in the lives of students to find a sense of purpose in their life! 

Our experience of this in another medical college helped us to stay connected with students at a time when they were open to being supported and enabled! 

We become who we are because, in our togetherness with others we receive and give to grow!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The creative stress !

A new season in the garden!

The Rambutan trees are with fruits; the cashew tree is with tender leaves after its fruiting of the year and the Lily plants have a new life with the recent rains giving them a flourishing foliage with a few flowers! 

This season is a transition time in the garden between the summer and the monsoon seasons.

The in-between times bring scenes and thoughts which carry meaning that is worth pondering upon! 

Usually new shoots and leaves appear only after the fruiting season in a tree as the tree converges to form the fruits. Now one Rambutan tree in our garden is giving new shoots, while fruits are still in the early stage.  

It is when trees are stressed they sprout new shoots. The tree attends to nourish the growing fruits and wait to give new shoots till fruits are ripe. 

The photosynthesis of a tree is dependent on its leaves. When the existing leaves have been stretched or distressed by the summer heat and humidity, the tree survives by giving new leaves which are rich in chlorophyll and ready to respond to the sunlight !

This is a good example of creative stress !

What a challenge brings forth is a restorative response. 

I experienced it yesterday in a personal way. With a recent exacerbation of arthritis, my initial response was disappointment as it impairs of some of the routines of my day. I discovered that if movements are done slowly, mindfully and turning the attention of the mind to the site of pain, the discomfort was less and bearable. I was able to find some movements which relax the joint muscles and reduce the muscle spasm. 

What is associated with pain is fear, anxiety and self pity-none of these help. But a sense of wellness or comfort settles in when pain is also befriended. A sense of companionship with pain displaces fear, anxiety and consequently improvement in the range of movement of the painful joint! A local application of a counter irritant and the thermal treatment of the area would have had physical and psychological effects. It was a revealing experience to sense how a stressful situation created a different outlook that reduced the intensity of pain and brought a level of comfort that was a step forward! 

I realise that a stress is a stimulus for pathfinding to stay comfortable!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The message towards wellness !

The bathing, drying and grooming of a Bulbul are orderly rituasl which I notice on most days in our feeding station! The habitual pattern is a routine for the Bulbuls. 

A keen bird watcher once mentioned to me that Bulbuls travel on an average about fifty kilometres in a day. It begins its flight in the morning after grooming from its resident garden and returns after visiting all the routine flight stations by evening to rest for the night. It is a regular cycle except during the courtship, mating and breeding seasons. 

During its life span of about ten years, the Bulbuls follow a routine which keeps them flight ready.  

They live purposefully focussed on their wellness !

One state government in south India is about to manufacture a new brand of whisky while a new government which took over the governance in another South Indian state has decided to close all bars within 500 meters of the educational institution or places of worship. 

The alcohol or addictive substances get introduced to the youth because social drinking is a habit even in homes! The social approval of this practice gives sanction to young people to publicly consume alcohol with no inhibition or restraint! 

Among the non communicable diseases, the diseases initiated or aggravated by habitual use of alcohol cause serious public health concern! 

The Bulbul birds are not the most intelligent birds among the avians. But they have a wellness pursuit by habit!

Why is that humans with all the enlightenment and information, fall short of taking wellness measures seriously! 

Stay well for a long haul, is the message which the Bulbuls bring to me! 

Is the traction in the evening for a peg of alcohol or for a de-stressing body exercises ! This is a slogan which is popular with the social activists concerned about alcohol dependance! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

The Presence of memories!

I revisited the collection of photos of flowers from January this year and noticed that some flowers like the three above, did not show the effects of the heat of the day, even when the temperature soared to 36 degree celsius during the day! 

Anna and I received the news of the home call of the mother of a dear friend, whom we have known for forty years now. Widowed at a young age, she was a faithful mother to her son and daughter and stood by them steadfastly during the transitions and movements in their lives. Anna and I have had several occasions to meet her and interact with her during our time in Chennai and later while in Vellore. Her inner strength to live in hope and peace was inspiring. Although she had some intercurrent illnesses for which she needed hospital stay, she persevered in her late eighties to bring encouragement to others. Following a fracture sustained during a fall, she was recovering well. The news of her unexpected deterioration and home call came as a shock to us. 

Anna and I would remember her as one who weathered adversities in life and gave her self to be beside her son and daughter, because of which both have endured difficult situations to grow up as caring people who have been thoughtful towards others. We remember this family with gratefulness and appreciation because the mother and the two adult children weathered different seasons in life to live mindfully of others. 

The terminal transition of absence of a loved one form our midst is a season of loss and grief! What makes that season bearable is the memories and recollections. In this case there is abundance of pleasant and uplifting memories, that the absence becomes an experience of grateful recollections! In one sense it is the physical absence of a loved one which makes memories as a treasure. That is a perpetuation of the presence in another real way! 

It has become a practice for me to take time at the week end to recall pleasant memories of the week and attend to the disappointing experiences in an exercise of self-debriefing to store memories that last in the treasure house of the soul! 

The memories of the goodwill of people remain as formative experiences in life!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Giving for all to receive!

 

Every plant in a garden offers a promise to grow and bear flowers or fruits. 

This promising presence is an invitation to be present to do good!

In the 37th Psalm  of the Bible, David its author made a confession: " I have been young and now I am old. Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, or his descendants begging bread. All day long he is gracious and lends and his descendants are a blessing" (verses 25-26).

The cycle of having been given to give is the order in nature! 

This was a timely message to ponder upon! 

This promise and hope free us from fretful and stressful habits in life! 

I stay with this thought as I begin this day!

M.V.Mathew(text and photo)

The calling to be 'light and salt' !

The plants keep their rhythm of flowering in the summer months! This  is a sign of their acquired adaptations. 

I find this as a sign of hope in these difficult times when global peace and collaboration stay threatened amidst war and polarisation! 

The plants bloom where they are planted and rooted! 

I receive a few telephone calls each week from Paediatricians to sound out on my thoughts on certain Neuro-developmental situations of children they take care of! I feel moved and encouraged by the enthusiasm and interest with which they pursue beyond the call of their duty to make a difference in the lives of some children and their families. All of them work where there are limitations in terms of facilities to do more tests to come to a clarity on the causal pathway of the clinical situations. What inspires me is the willingness and openness. the paediatricians show to go a second mile to help! Those paediatricians convey a sense of vocation and child friendly orientation! 

A doctor is more than a clinician. He or she is a companion to children and families in times of need! It is such an encouragement that the Paediatricians who call for  conversation have such a spirit of friendly and caring orientation ! 

There is a question in the air about the ethical and thoughtful attitude of doctors! 

It is amidst reasons to suspect the motive of doctors in clinical practice, I have this conversations with a few paediatricians each week call for conversations. I feel moved by their acts of service of loyalty, compassion and mindfulness! 

The climate of behaviour among some doctors might disappoint us. But there are many who bloom where they are placed making a huge difference to find new frontiers in clinical diagnosis and neuro-developmental support! 

The plants above bloom in the summer! 

To all those doctors, who carry the sense of vocation and keep those whom they are called to take care, as the primary motive for their work life, I write this to appreciate their efforts and to affirm that they are 'light and salt' in the health care practice! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)