The strength in fragility !

 

I walked through our garden after the windy rainfall yesterday. 

What surprised me was the sight above, of the fragile leaves and flowers remaining intact, although few branches of the tall trees were blown away. 

The plants are almost at the ground level and the tall trees take the brunt of the fury of a storm. The weak stem of the Lily sways in the wind but is seldom broken in the wind!

The protection that comes from the tall trees for all plants and shrubs in the garden! 

That gave me something to dwell on! 

Our wellness is a result of care and attention that we receive from all around us. On our own, we are vulnerable!

When the washing machine broke down yesterday, the mechanic arrived in a short while to attend to it. Although the repair would take a few days, his arrival gave me a message, that there is provision to add to our wellness through the thoughtfulness of others. 

I wish I can stay with this view of interdependence! We are weak and prone to feel helpless, but for this protective cover which is all around us. 

In psychological language, each of has our grounding skills in a protected environment. 

I confess that the sound and fury of the wind yesterday made me anxious. What if there is power breakdown and one has to go without the fan in a hot and humid day!

When I saw the plants and flowers survive the wind, I felt encouraged about the protective cover that is all around us. When we feel affected in spite of that, there is still something beyond, which would still be protective. 

Oh, that we would stay hopeful is spite of the stabbing incident in Sydney that a killed a child and mother and Iran threatening for a war with Israel!

The sound and fury of all that is ugly is all around us! But I wish I can stay anchored in the sight of the fragile leaves and flowers survive the storm!

The abiding presence of God to keep our hope alive is best experienced in such vulnerable situations!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The morning chant !

 

The two Magpie robins perched about 150 meters away from each other, on coconut palm trees in our garden, engaged in bird calls at twilight.  It was likely that the first one was a male bird as its tuneful singing was different from the hushed brief calls of the second one in the photograph. 

I remember hearing the reciprocal calls of Magpie robins from elsewhere in our garden on another two days during this week at similar times. 

The bird calls are the earliest indications of stable friendship between birds which might lead to courtship. 

The call is a hearty response to each other. 

During this election time in India, the news is all about how harsh and critical one can be, while speaking about the candidate from the opposition party ! It is a competition to win voters by criticising other candidates standing for election!

Do we have to drag the other person down and invent stories to denigrate a person! Instead, what if a  candidate can speak about his or her agenda of action for the next five years! I wish the language and tone would be motivated by the good work that one has in mind rather than attempt to score a brownie point by talking about acts of commission or omission of the other candidates. 

The Magpie robins bring another message at day break! Offer something of yours to others!

I wonder whether the thoughts and aspirations of people are driven by selfish pursuit of taking pleasure by hurting others!

The Magpie robins had a hearty language of giving and taking!

I kept thinking on this theme during the day. One can bless others with words! The words of James, in the epistle of James in the New Testament of the Bible, came to me while pondering over the language of communication. " For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well" (James 3:2) ! Later in the same passage, James, stated something in a moving language, " ..tongue is a small part of the body, and ...behold how great a forest is set aflame by such a small fire" (v5) !

The Magpie robins had a language of hearty communication between themselves!

I carry that message within me!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Growth and the environment!

The first photo in both the set of flowers were taken about two weeks ago. The second photos were taken about two weeks later. 

I did not anticipate to see more flowers, but new buds kept appearing and opening to make both the bunch of flowers different at the end of two weeks. 

During the two weeks the plants received the regular care-watering and protecting them in shade, as the temperature soared high during the day. 

 

I have recently been disturbed by the hurried conclusions parents come to about their pre-school child with regard to their behaviour, attentiveness, social and communication skills. 

Most pre-school children in many homes are used to long hours of watching cartoons in the mobile phone or in the TV. Even the feeding is done while the children watch the animations in the screen. 

With so much of domination of visual and auditory overload to the brain, brain growth which is developing to form the different functions around 2 to 3 years of age, gets deranged. Instead, children have more of visual and auditory stimuli with less exposure to social engagements, language interactions, motor activities of movements, and play, exploration of the environment, story and singing time, or play based entertainments! 

No wonder they are less interactive, communicative or explorative! They were conditioned to be different by the way we altered their growing process by the prolonged hours of exposure to the screen time. In fact, parents notice that their child's language is cartoonish in composition, accent, semantics and pragmatics. Most of the programme that a pre-school child watch is in other languages than the language spoken at home.

The message I share with families in such situation, is based on the two flower patterns above. In two weeks time, in a normal environment, there were more flowers in the blossoms. 

Let me suggest that, instead of parents becoming anxious about the delay in development of some skills of their pre-school child, if only they can begin to interact with the child with gradual reduction in the screen time, by about three weeks, parents are likely to observe a change in the behaviour of the child, with incremental interest in play, moving around in the house and outside to explore and get more tuned to a structure and plan!

Let me recommend that there is lot more in a pre-school child, which can be brought forth, when we take away the screen time and fill the day time with activities in which children ought to be engaged in normally. The surrogate parenting with the prolonged screen time is an aberration, which although looks comfortable to 'get the child out of the way' for parents to pursue what they want to do, is robbing a pre-school child of his or her childhood experiences essential  for normal growth and development!

In two weeks, more flowers were added to the few that were in the beginning! It is an object lesson to parents about child development. If only we can turn the environment of a preschool child to be play based, activity oriented, socially interactive, exploratory, participatory with plenty of time to develop the attachment process between the child and parents, most parents would find dramatic changes in the orientation and behaviour of their pre-school child in about 4 to 6 weeks. 

A child is born with an endowment of abilities, skills, and growth and development trajectory. It is for the parents to create the environment at home for that to unfold. The social milieu is what is needed for this to happen  and not a screen dominated ambience!

The picture of the flowers above would stay with me as a message about who a pre-school child can be, if he or she had a parenting environment, instead of the screen environment! Many children get indulged in the screen time because parents substitute their presence to their child with screen time. 

I write this with sorrow and grief, having seen scores of children every month in the recent years, more so during and after the COVID season. Parents engaged their child with screen time, when they worked from home during the COVID season. Older children had their on line classes, which legitimatised the screen time for children. The infants and toddlers by default got used to the screen time!

It is time that parents undo this by a proactive planning. 

All pre-school children are to be occupied in play based activities and not by the screen time! We limit the development of a pre-school child with over exposure to screen time and think of him or her as having a developmental dysfunction. That is exceptional. What is more likely is that parents deranged the developmental process of their child inadvertently by offering screen time as a  substitute for their interactive time with their pre-school child!

I get a feeling that parents are aware of this and a change process is in sight!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

The strain of the day!

The flowers above inner garden show the brunt of the summer heat. Their dull, and worn out appearance make them stand out, among some other flowers below, which seem to withstand the 39 degree celsius of the day. 

A garden is a living demonstration of how the existential situations leave marks of stress!

The lawn below, has withstood the heat and humidity to some extent and still looks green and inviting. Although it receives the sun for most part of the day, its ability to withstand the scorching heat is worthy of attention. The brownish tinge is noticeable only in portion of the lawn. 

Some flowers bear the marks of summer heat; some stay fresh as before and the grass on the ground has an in between appearance. 

I became aware during my walk that our life experiences are similar. We feel the adverse impact of some experiences and withstand many. We have also mixed experiences of delight and strain. 

The way, I tend to process them, is by auditing the journey marks on my mood and behaviour, if possible on a weekly basis.

It was a child of seven, who helped me to see this in a new light. While he was playing in the sand on the beach, his parents offered him roasted ground nuts, which they bought from the vendor, who came selling it. The boy, said,' I need to wash my hands before I can eat'!

His awareness to follow a routine gave me an insight about the good habits we need to cultivate for our emotional wellness. 

Almost every conversation or engagement leaves some marks of awakening or weariness within us. They accumulate to create a bag of  pleasant and unpleasant experiences. I felt that I need to create time to open the bag weekly, to process and be emotionally revived to go on. 

This personal de-briefing is a restorative exercise for protecting our emotional quotient to stay open to welcome experiences ahead of us. 

Our life, at home, work place, social settings, and in the neighbourhood gives us first hand experiences of the joys and travails of life! It is when we process them, they get integrated as meaningful pathways to lead us on to a life of learning and growing!

That is why contemplatives recommend from their life experiences  times of solitude, as an occasion to travel inward to become familiar with our inner world of thoughts, feeling and inclinations. 

We become who we can be, when we grow in intimacy with ourselves. It is during such times  of interior silence, we become our own friends. It is then we discover that God loves us and is waiting for us to experience the fullness of life!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The dew in a summer night!

What does a sunrise in the morning bring to light! A garden of flowers, waiting for the light to fall on them to make them present with their  radiance and fragrance! A flower is a gift to the beholder! It is a source of nectar for honey bees, butterfly, dragon fly and ants. The sun with its light, warmth and photosynthetic effect make plants thrive!

The thought that passed through my mind as I walked in our garden and took the photographs below in the morning, I felt that these flowers in different stages of their life, receive the sun rays to nurture their life. I felt a sense of gratefulness and gladness setting in within me, because the Sun and its light provide protection and promote life. 

During the walk, my thoughts drifted to the nations of the world. In the United States, there is an intense divide between two national political parties that the partisan views dominate in the election year with a diminished view of people, their needs and aspirations. The language of aggression and accusation that a former president, currently getting ready for contesting for re-election, uses defies normal civilised debate. 

The way, there is an attempt to suppress the voice of the opposition political parties in India, with the national election only ten days ahead, speaks poorly of the current leadership, governing the country. The needs of people get marginalised with passion for power, position, and control to the extent, that the democratic system appears to be in peril! 

The Russian insistence to fight the Ukrainian resistance to the invasion of their territory, has already left the Ukrainians in great distress and loss. But one wonders if any nation really feels the pain of those who suffer including the United Nations Organisation, except for passing some resolutions, which Russia dares to ignore! 

Israel, although woke up a few days back, after causing  death of over 30, 000 people in its fight against the Palestinians, decided to withdraw its land force from some Palestinian occupied regions, is a poor example of honouring human rights and right to have shelter, food, health care...! I feel hesitant to copy some of the photographs suffering, circulating in the media, as they took too cruel for human mind to comprehend. 

I return to the garden, plants and flowers. The nature offers a place for each plant and the sun visits them every day with its radiant gift. The unending giving and nurturing is the inherent nature of Sun and the earth.

When I noticed a dragon fly resting in a plant, I felt even more moved. Even a dragon fly has a place in the garden. It is made to feel safe and protected. 

I wonder, whether the nations that I referred to above, have such a sense of protecting the needs and aspirations of the least in the society. 

I agonise over how women and children suffer in different ways. How the bottom in the pyramid of economic hierarchy in India, forming about 30 percent of the population, wait for respite and prospects! The accumulation of wealth is promoted and those who have, flourish and those who do not have, are made to wait longingly. 

The dew on the jasmine flower below, refreshed me immensely. Even in summer, the temperature drops at night for the flowers to have a protective cover of dew, for them to withstand the summer heat!

The jasmine flower, with a lifetime of only of three or four days, receive protection from the self giving habit of the earth! There is a mystery to this habit of the earth, being protective of what inhabits it. 

The humans live on the earth with the calling to be protective of those who inhabit the earth. If some vocal people who control the affairs of the nations, look after the affairs of the political party that they are attached to, or the religious group that they represent or the economic strata they want to promote, it is an aberration and belittles the humanitarian values of dignity, freedom and equality.

I wait for the grace of compassion, empathy and mindfulness to become the language of behaviour of people who lead nations, religions, industry, economic affairs, healthcare, social development, and welfare measures!

I believe that the dew of protection would come to those who suffer and travail in pain!

When late Martin Luther King said, 'I have a dream..', he awakened his nation to view people through another optic of equal opportunities. 

When Jesus of Nazareth appeared to some after the resurrection, His message was 'Fear not..' 

I hear a young leader of a national political party in India, say this phrase often in the public meetings!

The dew of the summer night!

I believe it to be a sign to us, that life on earth would receive the dew of protection!

M.C.Mathew( text and photo)
 

The colours of summer!

We have a garden of croton plants, giving an exuberant colourful look, which might be the most noticeable plants, during this time of summer.  As they survive with little attention, it is a popular plant in many gardens, when a colourful look is what one looks for. 

With pruning once a year, when the monsoon sets in, these plants return to their foliage rich appearance in about six months. When they re along a compound wall or a walkway, their presence adds a festive look. 

The colourful leaves are their flowers. 

That is what makes these plants separate from others. They compensate for not bearing flowers, by turning their leaves to be colour rich with designs and blend of colours which bring an adorable look!

In  a conversation with professional colleagues yesterday, I realised how children bring out their colourful perception through their drawing. 

A garden of colours gives a rich expression of colours!

The colours in a garden are surprisingly visual friendly!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A cashew tree flowering for eight months!

I watched the cashew tree in our garden yesterday with an eye on the different generation of fruits. Usually the flowering season is about four months. This year, it has already extended to eight months. Even now, new cashews are seen in the blossoms !

Yes weather has changed! So the trees adapt. In fact the cashew trees thrive in hot climate. 

The earth is in a giving mode and adapts to all climate conditions! The soil is ever ready to respond to yield fruits !

However, what came to me as I watched this phenomenon, is its human equivalent. Most of us spend about 40 years in our workplaces and look forward to a break from those long years of service.

We are expected to be functioning optimally and effectively at work place. I have had conversations with people who have been in their work places for more than three decades. Some of them did mention about the weariness that has set in! Work becomes a routine and sometimes a burden!

Life and work often are viewed compartmentally. I wonder whether we can experience life at work place as an expression of our being. We have our being at home, work place, gym, and during other activities of family life!

When I was moving the grass in our lawn, I found how easy it was to use the new light weight machine, unlike the two earlier ones, which were cumbersome to use. I found myself comfortable and peaceful while engaged in that activity. After watching the neatly cut lawn with even surface, I experienced a good feeling! In fact the machine made a difference. My attitude also had changed, as earlier on, mowing was a chore and not a pleasure. Now it was made easier, by the light weight machine and the enhanced delight I find in seeing a neatly cut lawn.

The difference was more because of change within, where I found a way of being meaningfully present to the lawn and find a purpose in that!

A chore got lifted to a status of offering a purpose to feel at ease inwardly.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)