From meandering to Meaning !

It was while taking a series of photos of this Bulbul pair perched on a tall tree in our garden, on a cloudy morning with darkened sky, I was taken back to memories of 1985, when Anna and I faced dark clouds ahead of us, with only faant light to lead our path ahead.

We moved to Chennai in 1983 to engage ourselves in Child Development and rehabilitation for which we started a Child Development Centre and formed a voluntary organisation, ASHIRVAD. 

The response to our initiative was less than we anticipated. With children trickling in, we realised that we lacked sufficient clinical skills to engage children and families when the rehabilitation needed skills which we did not have. Having embarked on this journey, and feeling confused, I experienced a feeling of meandering. The opportunities at the Rainy Hospital and MITHRA, a rehabilitation centre,  did not pacify  the inner restless. 

The secretary, Ms Yoga George, who helped us at work, having heard me talk about the different aspects of the implications of the liberalised policy of the government of India, on the Medical Termination of Pregnancy, introduced in 1983, asked me once, 'If you are ready to write a book on this theme, I shall take the dictation and transcribe to make the typescript'! I brushed aside the suggestion. On two other occasions in a fortnight she reminded me about this.. I could not think beyond the disappointing outcome of our efforts in child development and our limited skills to carry on. 

On one  morning, Yoga came to my room at 8.30 am with a dictation pad and said, 'I have come to take dictation of the book on issues related to abortion'. I felt moved by her interest and offer of help. For the next one hour, I spoke and she used short hand to write. At 4 Pm before leaving, Yoga gave me six pages of the typed text on the introduction of the book. 

For the next six weeks, each morning, Yoga took dictation and completed the text ready for editing and cross checking with others for feed back. 

I was a member of the governing Council of the Christian Medical College of Vellore, representing the Bible Medical Missionary Fellowship (BMMF) (now Interserve). At one council meeting in 1984, on its first day, the Director Dr L.B.M.Joseph moved a resolution to have a policy on the Medical Termination of Pregnancy (MTP). At lunch time, I went to Dr LBM (that was how he was known) and showed my interest in the discussion on the MTP through a Biblio-centric perspective. He was interested to hear that I had a typescript I was editing on issues related to abortion, titled, 'Let Me Live'.  He asked for it and read most of it that night and shared to the council next morning, a summary of the Biblio-centric view quoting from Let me Live. He surprised me when he concluded his presentation by proposing the formation of a sub-committee to take this matter forward with Dr V.I. Mathan, Dr K.C.Mammen and myself as its members.  It was possible to propose a document on the policy for  CMC Vellore on MTP in the next council meeting. 

Anna and I felt that we were meandering and were feeling concerned about not being professionally engaged meaningfully! This book, the way it was written through dictation at the spontaneous nudging of Yoga came to us, as a sign that meandering is a desert experience, part of the formation process of becoming.

Ms Yoga George was a refugee in India, who came to escape the ethnic conflict which was raging at that time in Colombo. She became the midwife for the birth of a book. 

The book was published by the Evangelical Medical Fellowship of India when Dr Kuruvella George became the general secretary in 1989.

It was only when I heard from Dr Bruce Nicholls and Dr Zaphir Athyal of the Union Biblical Seminary, Pune, I realised that it was the only book written by an Indian doctor through a Biblio-centric optic on the Medical Termination of Pregnancy, available at that time, which therefore had become a reference book in theological colleges in Medical Ethics.  

There was another significant turning point in early in1984, when Anna and I were invited to be partners of the BMMF. Ms. Margaret Parkinson, the India representative of BMMF, suggested to her counterpart in England, Mr Arthur Pont that Anna and I be given an opportunity to train in Child development in England. She did this after spending two days with us at the Child Development Centre, where I was largely involved in the clinical appraisal of developmentally challenged children and Anna was providing the neuro-developmental support for children. Seeing us improvising and doing what was possible with our skills, Margaret felt the need for us to have a wider experience and connect with other professionals overseas as the speciality of child development did not exist in India at that time. 

Mr Arthur Pont in 1985 June got in touch with the academic officer of the Institute of Child Health, attached to the Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital, London. Mr Duncan Guthrie having heard about our need to be trained in Child Development offered me a position in the newly started course on child development and community based rehabilitation and offered admission for the 2026 academic term. Mr Guthrie offered a scholarship and the Mr Arthur Pont of BMMF offered to underwrite all other expenses including family travel, family accommodation and living expenses for fifteen months. That was a door, was opened to us for further training, when we felt that we were meandering!

On the last day of the course, Prof David Morley, walked with me up to the exit of the Institute and held my hand to say farewell. He said this to me, " You have a long journey ahead to help children and bring meaning to parents in their lonely journey". Those words had a resonating appeal !

Those fifteen months of training moved away all the clouds which had besieged us during our earlier three years at Chennai. When we returned to Chennai in 1987, we felt that the desert was not just meandering, but a formation process essential for a long journey ahed. 

This training became an  incentive and a foundation for a good start in a scientifically based Child Development practice in Chennai in 1987. 

The next nine years at Chennai took us to another level of academic ambience of child development, helping us to lay the foundation for beginning  the speciality of Developmental Paediatrics in India. The post doctoral training at the Institute of Neurology, Madras Medical College for three years in Developmental Neurology reinforced the academic pursuit in Developmental Paediatrics. 

That is how ASHIRVAD was asked by the Christian Medical College, Vellore in 1996 to enter in to a Memorandum of Understanding to incorporate the Child Development Centre at Chennai to become the first Unit of Developmental Paediatrics in Indian in 1997. 

I have a suspicion that Dr William Cutting of Edinburgh would have primed CMC to take this step. By then the following book, Beginnings  by a British writer, Ms Katharine Makower was also published, which summarised the story of ASHIRVAD and its child development centre from 1986-1996, which would have made the CMC administration to include starting this speciality along with other four specialities in connection with its centenary year 2000. 

                  

The new speciality of Developmental Paediatrics was started at CMC Vellore in February 1997, which was the first academic unit of Child Development In India. 

Now, forty years later, it was good to have been reminded by the two Bulbuls perched on the summit of a tree, looking around on a cloudy morning with dark clouds all around, about our inner optic forty years ago. 

We felt we were meandering.  We were in our late thirties at that time and facing the mid-life transition towards finding meaning to life.  

We were given an opportunity to travel safely through a desert experience. 

The oasis experiences I referred to above came to us in most unexpected ways. 

As Anna and I look back, we remember a large number of friends in this country and overseas who held us close to them in an endearing way. That provided us the shelter, protection and fortitude while meandering and walking in the desert! 

What young people of today need when they enter mid-life is such supportive and formative friendship!

M.C. Mathew (text and photo)

The love language for intimacy!

A Bulbul was waiting at the feeding station till its partner arrived!

It is usual for a Bulbul on arrival at the feeding station to engage in bird calls before it starts to feed. In the photo above, the first Bulbul waited till its partner arrived hearing its bird calls. These bird calls are different from the usual calls. They are short, tuneful and repetitive! The Bulbul turned in all directions while calling for its pair! 

In the book, Love Lives Here, written by Maria Goff, the foreword is written by Bob Goff, her husband who is a well known writer with books to his credit. In this book, Maria recollects her family story written in an unusual  style of affectionate recollections. Let me quote  from the last paragraph of the forward of the book written by her husband, Bob: "I will tell you one last thing about Maria. One time, when I was stuck, while I was working on a writing project, she sent me this text message: 'Every word in the universe is hoping that you will pick them'. Kind words from the people we love have the power to help us all understand who we are and what we want our lives to mean. Of all the words ever spoken, the words in this book, are the ones of Maria picked for us. They are good, they are true, and they will lead you home. Let me introduce to you the most humble and impressive woman, I have ever met in my life, my wife, sweet, Maria Goff". 

It was after reading this introduction, I had a visit from Thomas and Michelle, who were recently married. Anna missed welcoming them home as she is away visiting our children and grand children.  

It was delight to welcome them home. We have known Thomas for fourteen years. What a pleasure it was to see him with Michelle!

I wish, I remembered to show them, the photos of the Bulbul pair above visiting our garden ! 

Our wish for both of them is, that they be on a love journey of discovery and intimacy towards each other and experience the fullness of life in shared living! 

For Anna and I, while approaching our fiftieth wedding anniversary our joy is even more full, when we see young people walk through the threshold of family life! 

Let me quote again from the book, where Maria wrote about meeting Bob and their experience together: "The Bible talks a lot about trust. I used to think, it was something we give, but now I think it is something we both receive and give in equal parts. Trusting is not something we achieve merely by agreeing with someone. It is earned through shared experiences....Trust is the offspring of faith, confidence and action. Our ability to give and receive trust is the only path leading us to the other side of the insecurities which are blocking our view of  our needs"(p.32).

How blessed it is to have the experience of shared living and experience the ambience of trust, intimacy, faith, born out of love that gives, forgives and heals! 

 M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

The causal pathway of acquired behaviour!

 

There is something more Anna and I discover each day about the habits of the visitors at the feeding station in our garden!

After leaving pieces of bread in all the three feeding bowls at day break, I returned to look for the visitors. The squirrel above was the first visitor. 

The squirrels are not so fond of bread. They look for fruits especially banana. After inspecting the three bowls, it settled down to feed on the bread pieces. It had a preference for bread pieces which had the brown edges. Was it because they were more crunchy?  Having helped with the crunchy pieces of bread in all the three bowls, it quenched itself and left the feeding station. 

The Bulbuls were the next to arrive. They too prefer Banana to bread. The hesitancy or disappointment of one of the Bulbuls was evident in its posture! 

The behaviours are both inherited and acquired. 

Acquired behaviour 

I have had an interest in understanding the acquired behaviours of adolescents and tracing their causal pathway. 

A 19 years old boy crashed his car into a  scooter last week, which had three occupants and killed all three of them. He was speeding in the road according to the onlookers. The police found out that he was also under the effect of alcohol. This boy was used to watching car races in the Television and he seems to have talked about his fancy for speeding while driving. He persuaded his father to buy a Mini Cooper, and he was speeding when it crashed into the scooter.

The causal pathway for this dangerous behaviour  in the above incident is explicit and suggests the behaviour evolution in this teenage boy over a period of time! 

Behaviour profile

While listening to the interviews with leaders of the protestors in New Delhi, I have a sense of three influences responsible for their behaviour-anger, frustration and resistance !

Those leaders who express anger and frustration look impulsive, aggressive and abrasive. 

Those who are motivated to offer resistance against acts of omission and commission of the ruling dispensation, speak soberly, act cautiously and respond perceptively. They protest for a purpose, and remember that they ought to reduce the inconveniences to the traffic on the road to avoid disorder in a public space! 

Those driven by anger and frustration seem to have an aggressive and challenging posture in their behaviour! 

Protests are for attention

Considering that the current protests could have been avoided, if the Prime Minister were to take a lead for dialogue, it looks as if the government lost an opportunity to use the awakened state of awareness of the youth for a creative outcome! 

All protests of the youth call for attention to be heard for an engagement! They feel distanced from the orbit of older people who decide the destiny of the youth, because of which they have to come up with extreme actions for a wake up call! 

The squirrel in the photos above preferred crunchy portions of bread. The Bulbul was pondering before feeding on the bread! They are behaviours either inherited or acquired. 

The youth of India carry with them a lineage of inherited behaviour as well as reactive behaviour created by the un-engaging attitude of political leadership! 

An opportunity for dialogue

What if the political leadership became open to be accommodative and inclusive in their approach and welcome proposals for change! 

The youth of India is already vibrant and motivated to welcome a new social order of opportunities for all in the rising India! 

I wish the elders who control the reigns of political leadership of the country become listeners to discern the changing times and reckon with the inevitable transition needed, by passing on the baton for the next phase of relay race in the metamorphosis of the idea of India ! 

The Prime Minister and his council of misters are to be reconcilers and pathfinders of peace because they occupy the role of being statesmen to carry the people upon their hearts!  

From the pages of history

I came across a reference to this thought in the book, Human being and Becoming by Dr David G. Benner in the chapter on Meaning -Making (p 39, 49) a reference to the first Prime Minister of the Multi-racial South Africa, late Nelson Mandela. 

Rolihlahla Mandela was born in 1918 and grew up in the pan-African tribal culture of Ubuntu, which states that ' I am because we are and we are because of I am'.  The school teacher renamed him as Nelson Mandela on his first day at school, who grew ups in this identity of seeing the whole with liberality and mindfulness. He drifted to fight against apartheid after his law education which made him a prisoner for 27 years for unlawful activities more than half of that in solitary confinement. 

What woke up the world to a new consciousness of the largeness of heart and wholeness of approach that Nelson Mandela carried in his soul was, when he invited his former jailer as the guest of honour at the ceremony of his installation as the Prime Minister of South Africa. Let me quote Dr Benner in his own words the summary of this transformational journey of Nelson Mandela: "For Nelson Mandela prison was not simply a place of confinement and punishment; it was his alchemical laboratory. It was where an angry freedom fighter, was transformed into a gentle, compassionate, and wise statesman who became the nation's voice of reconciliation...The meaning that he found in his suffering and solitude allowed him to recognise that freedom is indivisible. It allowed him to  recognise that as long as anyone remains in chains, everyone remains in chains" (p 39).

It was Nelson Mandela who initiated the Truth and Reconciliation Commission which became the pathfinder for the multi-racial community to feel healed and reconciled having suffered under Apartheid for about fifty years. 

The Tryst with Destiny

The first Prime Minister of India Pandit Jawaharlal Nehru was imprisoned 9 times during the independent movement, the ninth imprisonment being the longest from August 9, 1942 to March 28, 1945, which included a time in the Ahemmednagar fort form April to September 1944, during which, the authentic story of India, the Discovery of India was born from his pen!  movement on anotr noble When it was published 14th November, 1946 on his birthday, it grounded the independence movement on the opportunities awaiting India, when finally free to be a nation of its own merit and standing!  v

It was this growing vision of India , which Pandit Nehru articulated as the first Prime Minister of India near midnight on August 14, 1947, on the eve of India's independence to the members of the constituent assembly in the central hall of parliament. The speech, ' Tryst with Destiny' formed the vision of India in the hearts of millions of its citizens. That vision of India was born through formative experience of sufferable suffering, which Pandit Nehru turned for the good of millions of people of India then and now. 

When the youth of India is now protesting, I wish the national political leadership of India  would consider that it is yet another occasion to redeem the pledge Pandit Nehru made in his  speech 'tryst with destiny' ! 

Whose interests are we looking after ! Is not the protest for safeguarding the  voting rights of people, when the Election Commission of India is suspected to be responsible for vote denial, vote manipulation and voter's list irregularities! 

Let the ruling  political leadership be seen to be on the side of those who elected them to rule for five years!

I wish the Prime Minister and the council of ministers leave aside their political robe, and evolve to wear the mantle of statesmen at heart, during a time such as this, when he youth feel wounded and alienated! 

Nelson Mandela attributed his conciliatory frame work for political governance to Mahatma Gandhi and his legacy! For us who live breathing in Mahatma Gandhi's legacy, it ought to be natural to choose a conciliatory path! 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

 

The youth grew up nurtured...!

Our garden helps us to feel connected with the nature's way of promoting life to fullness! The plants give flowers and trees give fruits. I feel touched by the optimism and care with which our gardener tends each plant and tree attentively and timely! 

The flowers feed the birds with their nectar. The flowers join the cycle of sustaining life in the garden! 

While visiting a village  recently, I noticed the children below going to the public water filter station in the village to gather drinking water for their homes. This sight inspired me because children too join in actively in sustaining life in a significant way. They felt nurtured at their homes to participate in the routines of the home. They grow up in their homes with habits of responsibility and stewardship. 

The news from New Delhi is distressing and alarming!

Hundreds of young people are in the streets demonstrating and sloganeering to express their concerns about 130 million people who lost their voting rights during the recent Special Intensive Revision of the voter's list. They are agitated about names of eligible people disappearing from the voter's list and many names of those who do not physically exist appearing in the voter's list. 

I have wondered how the young people who are now protesting ought to have been concerned about the election process and the irregularities in the voter's list! It occurred to me that it is similar to children who take responsibility to collect drinking water for their homes. These young people now protesting in the New Delhi streets and in other parts of India exercise their stewardship of preserving constitutional rights of people to vote in the elections ! They exercise their right to point out the slips which the Election Commission of India has made inadvertently or deliberately. There is a suspicion that it was intentional to benefit a particular political party! 

The children with water bottles go to collect water to preserve life in their homes. To me, the protestors are doing their bit when the election commission has failed in its role as an efficient independent constitutional body to safeguard the election process to elect eligible people's representatives to the legislative assemblies and the Indian parliament. 

Why the Election Commission of India and the government of India are not obliging to take steps to address the issues that harm the fairness of the election process! The perception is that the President of India, the Prime Minister of India and the Courts of Law in India are taking time to order for corrective steps. 

Now the response of the government is to suppress the protest by threat, forceful police action and detaining protestors to deprive them of their legitimate constitutional right to protest.  

The homes of the three children in the above photograph nurtured children to take responsibility to participate in the life of their homes. The young people in the streets are taking responsibility to protest to express their obligation towards fair governance of their country because they were nurtured to become responsible citizens through their formative process at their homes, schools, and colleges! 

 

It is therefore disturbing and unsettling to see the government of India escalating the peaceful protest into a confrontation! Why has not the Prime Minister of India not called a consultation with the leaders who are guiding the protests for negotiation and settlement of issues at stake! Why is the Election Commission of India not assuring the citizens that they would take steps to restore the voter's list to be a honest representation of the eligible voters ?

Let me suggest this. The homes of the three children in the photo above invested in their children to be responsible enough to fetch drinking water. How terrible if they are denied water! 

It is something similar, the government of India is doing to the young people of India. The young people are responsible citizens feeling strongly for good practices in governance. It is their moral sensitivity which makes them  protest against acts of commission and omission of the governance system! By denying them to express their grief and anger in their way in the streets, we are de-robing them of their moral standing. The police action hurts them physically and morally! They were educated to be responsible citizens, which is what they profess to be through this protest action! The system disfranchises them and displaces them to the margins although the youth represents thirty-five percent of the population of India! We further inflict injury to them physically and emotionally, adding pain to their hurt of alienation! The silence of the Prime Minister makes them feel that they do not matter! 

Who built our youth with a mind to think, a heart to feel and a conscience to take a stand? Their parents, teachers, youth movements that they were part of during their college education...! Now they decide to stand up for what seems to them as a cause to pursue after! I wish they used more polite and yet effective language for communication! Some times their satire turns out to be derogatory towards people that they question for their unfair practices. I wish they avoid that and yet pursue to campaign for good practices in public life! 

I wish all those who advocate forceful action to contain the protest, pause to think about the consequences of the post-traumatic stress the police action would inflicts on some young people mote. The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder is an emotionally devastating state in some. I wonder if all those leaders who are detained in police stations or other places receive a de-briefing support from counsellors for them to travel the recovery path ! To hear that some of them were beaten while under custody strengthens the need to have the detainees to be under the care of counsellors to feel therapeutically supported! 

I hope some corrective action would soon be forthcoming. One indication was yesterday's announcement by the Election Commission of India that the new revision of the voter's list will offer opportunities for people to represent for inclusion in the list. 

The soul of the independence struggle of India was non-violence. The action plan of struggle for independence was packed with acts of civil disobedience and satyagraha. It is this model the youth of India is currently pursuing while they protest ! They follow a method that they saw work in the history of the nation! 

It is because the youth feel wounded because of which they resort to protest! They were nurtured to be responsible. Now they feel wronged!

 

A nation owes to its citizens a nurturing and enfolding attitude! We need an enabling attitude towards young people!  The flowers and the fruits in the first three photos of our garden tell me that they were born from nurturing of the plants.  

Nurturing the youth of India is the vision worth pursuing to make them feel trusted to grow into their stewardship role! 

At day break today,  it is this sight in the rose bush in our garden that revived my hope and trust that a plant when nurtured would give abundant flowers!

Nurturing the youth of India is the call for the leaders of India !

  M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

All of us are co-pathfinders!

The above photos are of three generations of Lilies in our garden two days ago! With the Lilies beginning to bloom, I look forward to more generations of blossoms in the next couple of weeks. The first is that of a Lily in its early stage of blossoming and the third is that of a Lily retreating after its full presence. The second Lily represents the mid- life of a Lily blossom. 

I have had my thoughts hovering around the protests in different parts of India against the unfair practices, the Election Commission of India has resorted to in the last three years. The protests have grown into a confrontation between the police and the protestors in New Delhi. 

The three generations of Protestors

There are three groups of protestors who assemble in the streets belonging to three age groups- adolescents, young adults and mid- lifers. 

According to the theory of the eight stages of psycho-social development, proposed by Erik Erikson (1902-1994), a German-American psychoanalyst, the above three stages of formative years are characterised by some distinct features. According to him, 'During each of the eight stages, there is psychological conflict that must be successfully overcome in order for a child develop into a healthy well-adjusted adult. If the stage is handled well, the person will feel a sense of mastery, which is sometimes referred to as ego strength or ego quality. If the stage is managed poorly the person will emerge with a sense of inadequacy in that aspect of development'.  

The adolescents (12-18 years) go through a season of developing social relationships, during which they can encounter discovering their identity failing which they can have a role confusion. 

The young adults (19-40 years) grow into developing relationships through experiencing intimacy failing which they experience isolation. 

The middle adulthood ( 40-65 years) is a season of engaging in work and parenthood. They grow into generatively or slip into stagnation. 

The bulk of protestors are drawn from these three stages of life, while their formative development is still taking place. 

The protestors and the antagonists 

The police and all the hierarchy above regulating and instructing them, or those framing policies, are people mostly in mid-life. That is the time when they have grown up to be generative.  The ethos of generatively is 'the desire and commitment to guide, mentor, and care for future generations, leaving behind a positive impact'. The common expressions of generativity are parenting and family formation, mentoring and teaching, attending to civic and community life, and offering creative and productive output. The benefits of generativity are psychological well being, good physical health, and stronger relationships. The sense of generativity is an unconscious awareness that is instinctual to humans as part of their formative transition. The police, who are involved in monitoring the protests are people in mid- life and hopefully live fulfilled lives. They are in a position to feel concerned about others, their needs and wellness. 

The protestors belonging to two younger age groups, the adolescents and young adults,  are in different stages of formation, such as finding their identity or discovering the range and depth of relationships. Those in the mid-adulthood, who are in positions of responsibility and authority are able to exert an influence in the formative transition of the adolescents and young adults. 

How can those in positions of leadership and authority cease to be antagonists to the protestors? It is by pausing to know who they are and who they are to be becoming psycho-socially visa-vi others who are in their care! They are called upon to receive the adolescents and young adults, who are known to face identity crisis and struggle to be in a web of supportive relationships. 

We have  different generations in a society, but are co-dependent. I watched the protestors in the streets as those charged with enthusiasm, adventure, persuasion, solidarity, good intentions and bursting with energy. Some behaviours we see in the street suggest that they can be arrogant, self-absorbed and insensitive to how their actions can hurt others. 

And yet this generation Z is a community who need to be viewed through the optic of generativity by those in mid-life to help them transition into the next stage in life,  for which they need teaching and mentoring. 

The social ambience is the cradle of personal formation

Most state governments and the central government have ministers in charge of youth affairs. Those ministers and officials under them,  are to be the people who ought to be tuned to sense the 'distress' young people feel and face, which drag them to disappointment and frustration.  I am not sure if the officials in the departments of youth affairs are people trained to sense adulthood transitions and support psycho-social formative process of adolescents and young adults. 

Let me suggest that the protests that we see in the streets may have been precipitated by the unfair practices in the Election Commission of India. But the disappointments, frustration and anger are towards those whose mentoring they longed for, but was not forthcoming. They felt isolated, rootless and ambiguous about their future, where employment chances have dwindled in the recent years. 

The policies framed by government did not appeal to them as inclusive of their aspirations and needs. 

I have a suspicion that our homes, where parenting is the anchor for the adolescents, have become weak in its ability to enfold the young people to feel protected, affirmed and valued. The parenting role and process do not seem to be matching the aspirations of those in adolescent season, who are in transition to be young adults. It is seldom that we come across schools who have a full time behavioural psychologist in the high schools to help the adolescents to choose their vocation and support their transition to be a young adult. 

The generation Z seems to be sandwiched between inadequate parenting support and weak formative support from 'elders' at work or place of study. The social media, peer models,  and the visual media influence them, some of which only add to the ambiguity of identity that is bothering them. 

I began this reflection prompted by sighting three generations of lily flowers in the garden. 

My reflections on the anatomy of the street protests have taken me thus far. I am still in a searching and reflective stage, yet to be clear for myself the genesis of this breakdown of communication between the policy makers and the youth of India! 

As the protests generate more confrontational positioning of the youth and the government, I fear further intensity in an oppositional behaviour  which could cause harm! 

It is in this context the voice of reason and sense of wisdom ought to take over to lead us out of this cross road! 

That can happen only when a 'third force' of peace initiators emerge to influence the government and the protestors to come to a negotiating table! 

I have often been reminded from my reading on conflict resolution, that 'we win together or loose together'  !

It was a cloudy morning today with the misty cover of the garden, which diminished the view of the garden and beyond.

As I walked further into the garden, I was greeted by the flowers in the cashew tree in the walkway, greeting me with its colour and aliveness! 

This is the dual reality- the protests in the streets filter the view of the vibrant India and its youth! But the tiny flowers announce the hope that lingers within us of the fruits awaiting us as we tarry patiently, but vigilantly! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Pursuit of peace in stressed times!

Squirrel- feeding style -1 

Squirrel- feeding style -2

Squirrel- feeding style -3

Squirrel- feeding style-4

Squirrel- feeding style-5

Squirrel- feeding style-6

Squirrel- Feeding style-7

 

I spent about four hours watching the protest scenes of New Delhi street in the social media on 14th October, although it was a day without any pre-announced protests by any group. My phone primed me that I had  exceeded the sixty minutes threshold I had set for social media viewing in 24 hours. 

It was then I felt how much I am engaged by the disturbing sights in the streets of New Delhi where the police chase the protesters in the streets in a way that casts a shadow about the fair behaviour of police on the peaceful protestors walking on the streets chanting slogans. The protestors are speaking a language that is uncomfortable to the policy makers and yet, there is a good enough reason to hear them tolerably. 

I felt inclined to explore for myself how people behave in stressful situations! The protestors are anxious because they are chased, detained and arrested. Therefore they protest with a lingering fear within. The police too carry a high level of anxiety as they are called upon by the policy makers not to allow any protest marches in the streets. To stop the charged young people from  protesting, the police personnel resort to force. The mood and behaviour of the police as seen in the videos that I watched show, how forceful and inconsiderate they are to helpless youth. The men and women get dragged along the street, and suspended between their hands and legs and are carried away to vehicles to be take them away to  detention centres. There are confessions of how students were beaten up in the detention centres. The police force show signs of anxiety and stress. I do not think that the police personnel who have been trained in psychological skills of handling difficult situations would  normally do the way they behave in the streets of New Delhi.  To me it is a sign of their stressed behaviour under pressure form their senior officers. 

Feeding behaviour of squirrels

I felt intrigued to observe the feeding behaviour of squirrels in our feeding station. I have a collection of forty series of photos on different days of squirrels feeding, out of which I chose seven examples of the feeding behaviours in the photos above. 

Often it is a squirrel who arrives at the feeding station at twilight each day. I have a suspicion that at least three squirrels are residents in our garden. 

From the feeding behaviour I felt inclined to think that they have seven different ways of feeding, each in its own context. 

If the feeding station is without any birds, a squirrel would feed from the bowl. 

If the birds are present in the vicinity waiting to arrive at the feeding station or are already present at the feeding station, they have different feeding practices which I presume is because of  stress.  The feeding style-3  is likely to be one such behaviour. The feeding styles-5 and 6 indicate how a Squirrel partly overcomes stress by feeding along with birds, but being away in a corner feeding by itself. 

It is occasional that a squirrel would be seen co-feeding with birds. I watched it today which is in the following photo.

It was when I saw this scene today, I was even more inclined to think that this would be the normal behaviour of a squirrel in all likelihood, where it behaves tolerably and comfortably to accommodate birds in  its vicinity. 

Psychology of stress

The young people of India in the recent years encountered a departure from the earlier patterns and norms. The question papers  for competitive examinations were leaked by those responsible to oversee the examinations,  to favour some and tohave financial gain. The unemployment scene is a worrisome that many young people are forced to migrate to other countries, initially enrolling as students by taking bank loans. The shop keeper where I went to buy electrical goods yesterday told me that he sent his son overseas with a huge bank loan as he had no chance to get a job. He added, 'At least 100 young people have left the village in one year, seeking opportunities overseas'! The political order in the country created a vicious ambience in the recent years, where fairness, tolerance, regardful behaviour and honourable social practices have been set aside by a utilitarian approach. 

A police officer secretly seems to have told a press reporter that 'We work under fear. If we are seen to fail to obey the Master's voice, we would be threatened of action'! 

The Delhi streets become a meeting place between the stressed young people and the fearful police. 

It is not logic or reason or social regard that guides this encounter between the young people and police, but confrontation! 

Countering stressful behaviour

I recall the wise and timely action of the Dean of a medical College where  clashes between two groups of students in the campus reached to a confrontational level. It came to a climax that the Dean invited the students for an at home at his residence. He did this every fortnight when they played games, conversed and shared thoughts and concerns. In three months, the situation returned to a comfortable level from being a dis-ease for several weeks. 

The prime Minister and the President of India belong to the order of the first citizens  in India. I wonder if they would see themselves as those who have the mandate and constitutional obligation to find a way forward before the current protests escalate to a point of no return, which would harm all of us equally! 

During the two years Anna and I spent at the MGIMS Medical College at Sevagram,  we were used to visiting the Sevagram ashram, which was the home for Mahatam Gandhi during the freedom struggle. It was during those visits we got to know the background of Mahatma Gandhi's Satyagraha movement. Whenever  there was a confrontational trend during the freedom struggle, Mahatma Gandhi would pause and call for prayer vigil, which was his satyagraha movement to bring back peace and creative resistance approach against the British rule! He did not allow any protest to turn violent or to propagate hate. His non-violence was based on truth, love and freedom for all. 

Peace activism during troubled times

I do not have a good track record as a peace activist. I have had at least two occasions in the last twenty years where I could not negotiate difficult situations to bring a peaceful outcome during my involvement in two institutions. 

That brought yet another level of consciousness about peace pursuit! We can weave the web of peace only through an intentional participatory process. It was reinforced to me by a colleague with whom I was closely associated, who having watched me attempting to negotiate a difficult situation  said once,  ' You were too late  to 'let go' of an ideal situation that you pursued'! He reminded me that an infant falling while attempting to walk is preparing to stand steadily one day!  I wish I had that insight on those two occasions, where I could have been accommodative of the situations although different from my own perspective! The participatory process which I was committed to, collapsed because of which there was rupture of relationships. Most of it got resolved in the recent years about which I feel grateful! 

A public protest or solitary silent protest, both can be a peace pursuit, provided both categories of people have the larger peace as their vision and vocation. Any form of bias to favour any one group is a seed for further escalation of stress!  

Peace is not wellness, but a pathway to wellness! The ambience of peace creates openness in conversations and relationship. I hear the leader of opposition in the Indian Parliament and the home minister of India using a language of challenge, confrontation and threat towards each other. That causes further hurt and makes the wounds to fester!  

The democratically structured civil society would have multiple shades of thoughts. What is important is to consider the urgent needs of the majority of people of India. Are not the unemployment of the youth, corrupt practices during competitive examinations, non-transparent actions of the Election Commission of india, or the people becoming polarised between the majority and minorities, issues which the parliamentarians, who are the elected representative of people ought to engage in the parliamentary proceedings and outside! When the civil society sees the Parliament of India engage in these issues with interest and a resolve to find a way forward, people would feel comforted and hopeful.  

Is not the Prime minister of India who ought to be leading in this restorative and healing journey within the Parliament! Is this not a major issue when an all-party meeting of the members of the Parliament can come together to debate to find a way forward!

Let me conclude! I have good enough reason to believe that the squirrels that I shared above had different feeding behaviours. When it was probably under stress, it seemed to be pre-occupied with its own need! Normally a squirrel behaves comfortably towards others. 

The protests in the streets of New Delhi is a sign of the stressed state of the youth of India!   

Let the nation become awake to heal their wounds and nurse them to their fullness of life and opportunities! 

We owe it to them! 

The President of India and the Prime Minister of india have an obligation to the nation to lead the country beyond the troubled times! 

Let me send this flower from our garden to all who are engaged in pursuing to promote peace in different ways as the situation calls for !

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)