The Presence of memories!

I revisited the collection of photos of flowers from January this year and noticed that some flowers like the three above, did not show the effects of the heat of the day, even when the temperature soared to 36 degree celsius during the day! 

Anna and I received the news of the home call of the mother of a dear friend, whom we have known for forty years now. Widowed at a young age, she was a faithful mother to her son and daughter and stood by them steadfastly during the transitions and movements in their lives. Anna and I have had several occasions to meet her and interact with her during our time in Chennai and later while in Vellore. Her inner strength to live in hope and peace was inspiring. Although she had some intercurrent illnesses for which she needed hospital stay, she persevered in her late eighties to bring encouragement to others. Following a fracture sustained during a fall, she was recovering well. The news of her unexpected deterioration and home call came as a shock to us. 

Anna and I would remember her as one who weathered adversities in life and gave her self to be beside her son and daughter, because of which both have endured difficult situations to grow up as caring people who have been thoughtful towards others. We remember this family with gratefulness and appreciation because the mother and the two adult children weathered different seasons in life to live mindfully of others. 

The terminal transition of absence of a loved one form our midst is a season of loss and grief! What makes that season bearable is the memories and recollections. In this case there is abundance of pleasant and uplifting memories, that the absence becomes an experience of grateful recollections! In one sense it is the physical absence of a loved one which makes memories as a treasure. That is a perpetuation of the presence in another real way! 

It has become a practice for me to take time at the week end to recall pleasant memories of the week and attend to the disappointing experiences in an exercise of self-debriefing to store memories that last in the treasure house of the soul! 

The memories of the goodwill of people remain as formative experiences in life!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Giving for all to receive!

 

Every plant in a garden offers a promise to grow and bear flowers or fruits. 

This promising presence is an invitation to be present to do good!

In the 37th Psalm  of the Bible, David its author made a confession: " I have been young and now I am old. Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, or his descendants begging bread. All day long he is gracious and lends and his descendants are a blessing" (verses 25-26).

The cycle of having been given to give is the order in nature! 

This was a timely message to ponder upon! 

This promise and hope free us from fretful and stressful habits in life! 

I stay with this thought as I begin this day!

M.V.Mathew(text and photo)

The calling to be 'light and salt' !

The plants keep their rhythm of flowering in the summer months! This  is a sign of their acquired adaptations. 

I find this as a sign of hope in these difficult times when global peace and collaboration stay threatened amidst war and polarisation! 

The plants bloom where they are planted and rooted! 

I receive a few telephone calls each week from Paediatricians to sound out on my thoughts on certain Neuro-developmental situations of children they take care of! I feel moved and encouraged by the enthusiasm and interest with which they pursue beyond the call of their duty to make a difference in the lives of some children and their families. All of them work where there are limitations in terms of facilities to do more tests to come to a clarity on the causal pathway of the clinical situations. What inspires me is the willingness and openness. the paediatricians show to go a second mile to help! Those paediatricians convey a sense of vocation and child friendly orientation! 

A doctor is more than a clinician. He or she is a companion to children and families in times of need! It is such an encouragement that the Paediatricians who call for  conversation have such a spirit of friendly and caring orientation ! 

There is a question in the air about the ethical and thoughtful attitude of doctors! 

It is amidst reasons to suspect the motive of doctors in clinical practice, I have this conversations with a few paediatricians each week call for conversations. I feel moved by their acts of service of loyalty, compassion and mindfulness! 

The climate of behaviour among some doctors might disappoint us. But there are many who bloom where they are placed making a huge difference to find new frontiers in clinical diagnosis and neuro-developmental support! 

The plants above bloom in the summer! 

To all those doctors, who carry the sense of vocation and keep those whom they are called to take care, as the primary motive for their work life, I write this to appreciate their efforts and to affirm that they are 'light and salt' in the health care practice! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Understanding behaviour!

It is unlike a Bulbul to fly away from the feeding bowl with a mouthful of food. Most Bulbuls peck and eat as in the first photograph. A Barbet takes mouthful and flies away to the adjacent bush to eat it privately ! There were movements of a squirrel and a Barbet in the vicinity, which I wonder changed the feeding pattern of the a Bulbul! 

The stressful behaviours are different from the usual. 

I know of a mother who found her three years old daughter not sleeping well since starting to attend a day care. On all the three days she goes to the day care, she has had difficulty to sleep. Since mother decided to stay back at the day care with her daughter, that difficulty at bed time faded away. 

There are different stressful behaviours children in the pre-school years manifest! They need attention and careful modulation! When the childhood memories are pleasant and comforting the developmental process of the child is promising and incremental. 

We cannot monitor all the stressful factors. But we can monitor the way the child reacts and support the child during stressful experiences!  The mother mentioned above asks her daughter each day, whether she should stay back at the Day care till she finished for the day! On most days the child is able to stay alone at the day care! What the child needed was a reassurance to adapt to the transition to the day care !

This way of becoming present to the inner world of a pre-school child is one way parents can sense the emotional variability in a child and adapt to give them relief and comfort! 

A behaviour of a pre-school is initially a reaction to the environmental changes ! Most children process them well and adapt! When they take time, what comforts a child is patient engagement for natural transition to arrive at a level  of adaptation!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Creating space for others!

The cable above the feeding station in our garden is a favourite flight station of resident and visiting birds. The flight stations for birds offer birds an opportunity to visit familiar sites and stay in touch with the environmental events. 

The avian orientation is to follow its routine !

They draw signals and sense comfort levels from such practices! They live conditioned by the feed back they receive! 

The summer months offer fruits of all varieties in most gardens. The feeding station in our garden is not therefore frequented by birds. They come to the water bath instead! 

Although we miss the bird calls and social play of birds in our garden, we get more familiar with the avian habits which change according to the seasons. 

The squirrel moved away when a Bulbul pair arrived to the feeding bowl in our garden! The hierarchy of control was evident from the behaviour! 

The possibility of equal opportunities does not still exist in the avian world or among humans! There is enough and more for all. Yet what dominates is control and acquisitiveness to possess and not share even when plenty is left beyond what one would need! 

The current war in Iran is an expression of such a disorderly or distorted world view and mindset! 

It is not lack of resources which perpetuate many to live in hunger or homeless, but lack of mindfulness of many who have plenty! 

That is an attitudinal change worth pursuing after so that fairness and distributive justice become a norm !

M.C. Mathew (text and photo)

 

The daily routines and habits !

The morning ritual of Bulbuls resident in our garden has a routine. The bath, grooming, feeding and starting the flight journey of the day....!

It is a message that they follow a practice by habit! 

The routines and habits make the birds stay well and flight ready! 

While consulting a dental doctor yesterday, she reminded me of the routines needed to ensure dental hygiene !

It helped to remember that daily life is a convergence of many small routines and habits! 

The daily feedback my phone gives me on the calories consumed, duration of physical exercise and sleep, time spent on the screen or on messaging or telephone calls or chats or in on-line meeting tells me a lot about the accountability I can bring into the routines to have an integrated rhythm to daily life! 

The rhythm of life when integrated well can add to the wellness more than drug based approach to the non communicable diseases can bring in  the afternoon of life!

It brought into focus that it is not just health care alone that is attended to by such a rhythm, but wellness to the body that feeds into the ambience of the soul! 

The soulful living involves living in the present mindfully as a steward of life and its vocation! In that ambience and outlook to life, life receives a new optic! We move from ourselves to think and feel for others!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Another way of living in public life !

A rose bush in our front garden endured the summer heat and continued to flower uninterrupted ! Most flowers by the third day appeared burnt in the heat of the day.  The buds continued to bloom to give new flowers. 

Its character is to flower to share its fragrance, nectar and colourful presence! 

Its missional presence is what intrigued me! 

A candidate who was elected with a large majority from a constituency during the recent legislative election in the state of Kerala  was found electioneering by going from street to street with a small group of friends on a bicycle! He avoided large meetings, display boards, or publicity campaigns. He resorted to reduce expenditure and save money to contribute towards building houses for people who are homeless. I understand that his expenditure was less than the quarter of the permitted expenditure for electioneering. 

He was a lone candidate among about seven hundred who contested elections in the state with such an approach of reducing the campaign expenditure. He had the strength of his conduct and humane manners to draw people to himself! His father was a former chief minister of the state who was known to be self giving and altruistic in behaviour. 

I watched his electioneering process spread over three weeks with interest just because he was naturally different from others! His approach stood out as a noble gesture of mindfulness towards those who needed houses to live. 

The rose flowers get burnt in the heat of the day. And yet they blossom as that is its habit! 

It has a resonance within !

It is about the vocation of living! 

The contrast is obvious! The candidate who moved around in a cycle had the strength of his conduct and character to support him! He did not require publicity or persuasion! His way of living and relating was his strength! He lives mindfully and soulfully! 

That is an inspiration! 

Who we are is what matters ! When that is authentic, there is no need to create an image or project a profile! When the wellness of others guide a person's conduct, then that leads to the formation of a  collaborative community! 

This exceptional example during an election process sends a message that when others live in our orbit, people are moved and affirmed by that approach !

This candidate drew attention to the needs of others who are marginalised by voluntarily reducing expenditure on publicity to  attend to their needs!

His example was like of that a star in the dark  sky!

M.C.Mathew, (text and photo)