Guests in our garden!

This female Butterly, Southern Birdwing also known as Sahyadri Birdwing was seen for a short while this morning flying between flowers in our garden. Its colourfulness and size surpassed the features of a usual butterfly. It is among the largest butterflies found in this region.  

In my search I found out that this is officially designated as the state butterfly of Karnataka. Its habitat is normally in the Western ghats and peninsular region of South india. 

It is a protected butterfly as it is popular with butterfly collectors due its colourfulness and size. 

It was drizzling in our garden. That did not hamper the  movements of other butterflies in our garden. 

I had a sense of awe and wonder seeing the colourfulness and designs on the wings of the butterflies! 

We ought to be doing everything possible for our environment to stay healthy and hospitable for every living being to flourish!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Restful living!

The flowers in the garden bear different attire after a rainfall. Some flowers look clothed wet with drops of water on the petals and some others having only scanty drops and few others looking dry! My suspicion was that wind and sunshine would have made the few flowers look dry. 

How true of the way we endure difficult experiences in our lives! Some of us live bearing the marks and scars of our difficult experiences and some others move on behaving well with little indication of the rough times, that  they have been through.

There is something in the petals that are protective. There might be the restoring touch of sunshine and the wind !

The intrinsic resilience and the extrinsic protection! 

One family got subsumed by illness that has taken all of their attention. Another family in a similar situation stays communicative and relational! It was while being in touch with both these families, I got a sense of how their response to situations were different! One family found the experience difficult and draining because they lived relationally distant from others. The other overcoming family has been used to living socially and relationally. 

In a conversation with a younger friend recently, I realised that some people live satisfied by engaging the social media. As long as life is in order, the social media is good enough. When life brings unexpected situations, even the social media fails to sustain people, because it offers entertainment, opinions and connectivity, and not intimacy of communication or sense of belonging in most instances. 

The other family who is through a difficult situation is used to having trusting friends and relational engagements.  Life can be lived at these two lanes- a general social connectivity or closer net work of companions! 

This Bulbul pair above gave an indication of the composure and alertness in thier body language!

The experience of restful living prepares us to be alert in challenging situations! 

The restful living is a relational way of living! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Sunday morning visitors!

After three days of sunshine, the butterflies wee back at the flowers in our garden. I was not able to capture the images of those who were flying around in the air moving between flowers !

They have the skill to be still while not gathering nectar! That stillness escapes our attention ! It is their fluttering movements which announce of their presence. 

The still presence is part of their rhythm!

The still presence is the opposite of a straining presence! 

Jesus of Nazareth referred to straining presence in His Sermon on the mount : "... Do not be anxious for your life....Look at the birds of the air, that hey do not sow, neither do they reap or gather into barns and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than that ?" (Matthew 6: 25-26). 

It is during the last week of incessant rain, I noticed the truth of this saying of Jesus even more vividly. 

The Mynah birds came to the feeding station in our garden in between the rain spell and emptied the bowls of food. They looked ready for more! Theirs was not at all a straining presence as much as I could make out from the body language! 

In fact what Anna and I experience from the birds is the singing presence. Some of the birds visit us regularly. 

The Bulbuls perch in the nutmeg tree opposite our front door and sing the morning chorus. The Mag pie Robins come even closer by perching in the electric cable and sing till they notice us in their vicinity! 

Thanks to the Butterflies visiting our garden today morning! They introduced the theme of still presence. The Birds brought the message of singing presence. I sensed  that what we needed was this message. In fact these birds do not stop singing when it threatens to rain. It is their morning and evening ritual! 

I felt that they educate Anna and me about grateful presence in response to what we have been blessed with in our mid seventies. Anna had a visit this week of a contemporary at Medical college, who keeps in touch regularly. This time she and her husband spent a morning with us in our home, which brought many memories of people who blessed us with their  grateful presence inner lives. 

Yes, Still presence, singing presence and grateful presence become the calling for us ! The still presence leads us to God consciousness; the singing presence reminds us of the mindful way of living and the grateful presence creates an inward ambience of humility! 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

  

Two families !

It is at the feeding station in our garden, Anna and I get an introduction to avian social behaviour! 

Two families of Mynah each with one juvenile bird were together at the feeding station for a while. The adults in both families watched over the juvenile birds attempting to feed on their own. 

This co-parenting style caught my attention. The Juvenile birds got introduced to each other through this efforts. The adult birds provide an opportunity to the juvenile birds to develop a culture of togetherness! 

Families live their lives; but they also contribute to the keep the flock relational! What a behaviour for a cohesive culture! 

The human communal cohesion has got disintegrated by a fragmented view of each other through the optic of religion, caste, race, nationality and economic status. There is a tendency to promote the divisiveness to possess and control. How much ever one hesitates to believe, the evidence is in favour of a push for 'white supremacy' in a western country where human brotherhood existed for centuries. The distinction that is created between nationals and immigrants belittle  the commonality of human experiences and shared living!  

I wish India as a nation had cordial relationships with Pakistan, Bangladesh, and Sri Lanka,  who are our neighbours! The relationship India has with Bhutan and Nepal is mutual! 

The two families welcomed another Mynah to join its flock and to share a meal. It comes as a message of social harmony which we as humans are at the risk of loosing! 

If only the political leadership of the USA, Israel or Russia were to pause and reflect they would be less aggressive for geographical domination and acquisitive instinct to possess more! 

I felt moved by the sight of these birds from heterogenous backgrounds relate comfortably and share a common meal, when the heavy rainfall restricted their flight movements! 

Their's was a gently call to be more relational!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Taking sides to be a voice!

The flowers above brought a colourful look to our front garden yesterday although it was raining heavily at night ! 

Seeing the vigour and aliveness of these flowers withstanding the heavy rain fall, a story that I read came to my mind giving me a message of the nature's message to humankind! 

In the book, The Gardener, by Grian, there is a story of The Old Live Tree, which the gardener noticed with its stump in the hill. He grieved over the thoughtless way, someone had cut a tree much older than himself !

"Some time later, the gardener passed by that place again and found to his delight that new shoots had appeared from the sides of the stump, growing towards the sky with arrogant vigour. The gardener smiled and mused about the arrogance of man, who sees himself as the owner of the world which does not belong to him; and over the bold defiance of life, capable of restoring itself time and again, contrary to the obstinate and malicious intention of human. Stroking the tender shoots of the old Olive, he whispered: 'There exists a stronger will than that of men. Who old Olive tree, can triumph over your will power and desire to live' "?

I wonder how much more can anyone be more thoughtless than President Donald Trump or Prime Minister Netanyahu who think that they can 'destroy' Iran and make that country weaker! Are they not following the footsteps of one ruler who thought like this and was responsible for the second word war! I have similar thoughts when the national government in India who used police action to suppress the protest of students pleading for fair process in conducting national examination like the NEET ! Who can triumph over the natural urge to live and overcome any adversity which resilient students carry within! Why is that no spokesperson of the government expresses grief and regret over students who suffered injury and are in hospitals after they were beaten and shot at with pellet guns! 

The flowers above brought cheer amidst the gloom that I have been feeling during the last few days. 

The president of the USA glorifies himself in the personal wealth he has amassed during this war; the prime minister of Israel boasts about 'eliminating terrorists'; the ruling disposition in India watches the farmers and students protesting in the streets of New Delhi, but do not feel to hear the message of their grief! 

These leaders of nations upon whom the electorate of those nations reposed faith turn their attention to selfish personal pursuit. It grieves us beyond measure. We feel even more helpless, when the watchdog for peace, the United Nations Organisation ceases to be proactive to pursue peace and conciliation! 

The story of humankind does not end because these leaders or the UNO fail to be custodians of peace and goodwill on earth! 

The voice of grief and pain is far more impactful than the authority these leaders use to subdue them! 

None of the flowers above look withered or drenched! They are colourful, fragrant and resilient, although appear to be fragile! 

I heard of the story of a lady with Spinal Muscular Dystrophy in her third decade, with scoliosis and contractures in the body, functioning well from a wheel chair and work in an office after having finished her post graduate qualifications ! She is hurting with limitations bodily, but is an overcomer to give a message to us that life overcomes adversity! 

Blessed are those who are engaged in taking sides of the weak and the marginalised because, when they are restored they shall become pathfinders for others! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

 

Freedom to live and relate!

I happened to notice these birds in the garden, two through their bird calls and the other in a still posture. The cloud was gathering and I wondered where their behaviour was on account of the imminent rainfall! The bird behaviours reflect their perception of the environmental changes. 

The birds live present to the environment. 

This gave me an occasion to sense the way I behave in different situations. When the telephone rang yesterday and I saw the name of the caller my mind went back to a difficult conversation with that person three weeks ago. That aroused a curiosity, whether it was to continue that conversation. But when I received the call, it was an invitation for the baptism of their grandson. 

The past memories influence our perception and responses. I felt concerned about the risk of viewing the current through the optic of a past experience. 

This brought some memories of relationships! The past memories dominate. I wonder whether many memories remain without a good closure! A good closure is when a difficult or a pleasant experiences do not become a filter while relating to a person at the next time!  

A weekly family time is a time of recollection of important family events and recalling of experiences. That becomes an occasion to gratefully acknowledge each other as well as to be confessional to offer and receive forgiveness. It means parents have an occasion to restore relationships with children by apology and confession and children too have an occasion to do the same. A confessed and forgiven issue brings a healing touch and does not stay on colouring future conversations. The freedom to relate to each other regardfully and appreciatively creates an ambience of comfort. 

This changes the stressful relational ambience that most families live with. Fear, anxiety and stress arise from unresolved matters of disagreement or dispute. 

The public space we share with others is often self driven. Most people look for their advantage and comfort and leave out the needs of others. A senior citizen was struggling to carry the three bagful of provisions to his car. A young man carried the bags for him to the car. When I watched this , I was reminded of the normal instinct of helpfulness that governs human behaviour!  May be it is becoming occasional than being usual!

I was given a space to park the car in the only space left in the parking place, although two others who came earlier than me were waiting. Both of them who were waiting, offered me the space! It was an unusual experience and yet most refreshing! We live among people whose goodness and thoughtfulness are still alive! We can nurture this by being mindful of each other !

When we become mindful of others we become more humane and relational! That can relieve us of fear, anxiety and stress, while relating to others because we receive others as they are and not based on our experiences stations of them. It also makes us to be more appreciative and grateful!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Toddlers are finders !

The two Sunbirds above, one on a bush looking out for flowers and the other feeding nectar from flowers, were happening around the same time in our garden! They search and find! 

I found this purpose driven behaviour interesting to watch. 

In a conversation with a family yesterday evening, I was fascinated by the insightful conversation of parents about their two children. One of them likes to listen to sounds by tapping rhythmically on the refrigerator. I wondered if it indicated the musical interest of the child! The parents were to keen to observe that further!

The conversation proceeded to consider how a toddler discovers his or her home environment to explore and discover! It is the engaging environment that brings out the hidden interest and observational skills of a toddler. That is how a toddler finds play purposeful. 

For a toddler, finding ways to play and explore the environment is the normal pattern. It is when parents facilitate that a child comes forth with ideas and activities to explore. 

A toddler looks for satiety in playing! I wonder if parents have a play plan for their toddler for each day! It could involve indoor and outdoor activities. 

Parents who have designed a Child's Corner, where child has a space to belong to with his her collection of toys, books, and creative materials, would facilitate a toddler to design his or her play time. If parents have found a joint time of play at the Child's' Corner, then it offers parents an opportunity to observe the unfolding interests and discoveries of a child. 

Almost every day, one toddler girl that I know about, prepares tea for her parents in the evening at the Child's corner with her toy stove and toy vessels. It is a way a child connects with parents and invites them to participate in her play process! A toddler is a seeker and an aspirant for inventing! 

I wonder if parents have a collection of videos of such inventing activities of their child and play back these videos to the child once every week for the child to feel appreciated for his or her exploratory journey!  

It is when parents become present and participate in the child's world of imagination and exploration, they can awaken in the child a sense of emotional engagement to grow in the attachment process which is the foundation for  endearing relationships. 

The Sunbirds find their feed on their own! A child too finds his or her way of play to feel fulfilled. 

 

The parents can become providers to enlarge the fulfilling experiences of toddlers. The pre-school years at home are golden years to develop intimate emotional bonding between parents and children. A child who feels rooted in such an ambience of intimacy flourishes and grows up with a sense of belonging, protected and affirmed!

M.C.Mathew( text and photo)