The moon behind the dark clouds !

The above photos are of the evening at 5.30 pm around our cottage! The dark clouds hurried in which unsettled the avians, who were on their flight path through our garden on their journey to the night shelter. The darkness cast by the clouds was predictive of an impending heavy rain fall !

What was obvious was the hyper-vigilant birds and some in their chorus of hushed bird calls from different directions in the garden!

Anna and I waited in the courtyard with a frightened Dulcie, who needed to be consoled and was insisting to go inside to her safe corner. 

While we waited, we noticed the clouds moving away and the twilight falling on the trees, followed by the moon radiant in the sky! 

This is why poets think of nature as a theatre of dance and action! What a transition of surprise in about forty five minutes, from the darkened clouds to bright blue sky with moon in its romantic radiance!

The evening brought a mixed experience: the dark sky and stressed birds followed by the bright sky and the moon leading us to the night!

The heightened anxiety settled into a peaceful night fall! This was a good way to close the week on the Saturday evening, with a message for the week ahead. The president of the USA is still talking about war and the 'punishment' he wants to impose upon  certain countries! 

But the message from the evening events in our garden was hope of peace and ease of life on earth, under the canopy of God's protective presence upon all the creation who dwell on earth! 

As we moved back to  our cottage after watching the moon on the sky, we carried with us a message that humans do not determine the destiny of nations and their people, but God who accompanies us through the travails and turmoils of life! 

What dwells within us is peace, hope, and love because that is what we received from our mother, when each of us was born ! We only moved from the safe environment of her womb into her warm embrace when we were born! 

Jesus of Nazareth spoke thus in His Sermon on the Mount: "Look at the birds of the air, they do not sow, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?' (Matthew 6:26).

We live in the shadow of a promise, provision, and protection !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

 

Becoming present to the moment !

A pre-school child who visited our garden practiced his counting skills  till hundred, by counting the number of buds in the flowering plants in our garden. He had to stop at hundred as he had not yet learned to count beyond that. 

This surprised me as I had not normally counted the buds in the plants, although I was used to taking photos of buds in different stages of their opening !

There are hundreds of buds each day in the garden ! 

"How can these buds be counted? There are so many of them", They were the words of the child while giving up to count the buds in the above tree! 

He stopped at the desert roses and counted the buds and said, " A small plant with so many buds" !

Seeing the Sunbird gathering nectar from the flower, the child said, turning to me, " Look, such a small bird"!

That awakened me to the sense of wonder he carried with him! 

That was a message worth pondering upon during the day!

How much of sense wonder I carry with me while walking in the garden each day !

I confess that walking in the garden with a sense of presence and nearness to what I see or hear or smell has been waxing and waning ! I thought of many occasions when I reduced the walking to a physical activity ! 

Becoming present and feeling connected to what we see, hear or smell, takes us to another plane of awareness about realities around us! 

When I returned after watching the jubilant sense of discoveries the pre-school child made while walking in the garden, the sense of wonder he carried with him was resonating within me! 

This is the difference between living fully present to the realities around and staying pre-occupied with our thoughts. The boy transcended his thoughts to welcome the moment and its surprises! He  walked to see, hear, and smell! He turned that into an experience that touched him and brought a consciousness about the richness around him! 

Being present to the moment is the first step towards the becoming journey of being fully human! When we live with a presence to ourselves, our presence can bring freshness and awakening of consciousness to others!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

The space and freedom to live!

I watch this engaging sight most mornings in our garden. How a squirrel follows the same path for its arrival, feeding and returning to its shelter in the tree above! Its visual-spatial memory is phenomenal!

The planned and orderly way this squirrel follows its routines and rituals lead us into the macro-world of a squirrel. I remember watching squirrels in a distressed behaviour when a Greater Coucal is in their vicinity. The Mynah birds are also a cause of concern for squirrels. The squirrels move away hearing their chirps. 

The space for movements and excursions for squirrels is restricted because of larger birds and yet they have their own comfortable way of being present in the garden. They are climbers of trees and jumpers between branches.The quickness and precision with which they do this, is a species specific adapted behaviour.  

When the squirrel was at the water bowl, a butterfly and a Magpie robin arrived in its vicinity.

The squirrel paused and looked around before it had its sits of water!

The vigilant presence and behaviour, another species specific feature of the Squirrel family! 

What engaged me further is the space and opportunity each of these enjoy in a garden. Although they are not always fraternal, they live and flourish receiving the shelter and protection! 

I felt moved by a sense of awe and wonder over how a garden is a home for each of them ! There is harmony even amidst the non-fraternal behaviour of some of them! 

Peace and wellness is the norm!

I read in the newspapers last week about the bakeries being given permission to stock liquor. There was a visible resistance against this that the government had to withdraw this decision. I heard a politician speak against this reminding the government that the one common single factor for disharmony in homes is alcohol dependence! The way he spoke was in a gentle manner, feeling sorrowful about many broken homes! 

There were indications of resistant movements if the government did not withdraw that decision. It speaks of the longing of people for harmony and wellness in families! 

The garden and a home are both symbols of harmony! 

A photo artist specialises in taking photos to highlight harmony as the call in troubled times! His photo exhibition attracts many visitors. People live longingly to experience harmony in their lives!  

When life is lived in such an ambience, we move towards the calling of fullness of life!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The collective unconscious !

 

The above photos of different behaviours of flowers in our garden following a downpour caught my attention yesterday.

The first two flowers look soaked with rain drops. The orchid has water drops on the flowers but was not drooping. The last two photos of flowers do not show the effects of rain. 

Each flower responded to rain drops differently.

In a heavy prolonged rain on my way to the air port yesterday, there was a traffic block of at least three kilometres. Most vehicles waited one behind the other patiently. There were few drivers using every opportunity to go ahead, although they blocked the vehicles coming from the opposite direction. They added to the blockage even more. The unmindful way of some of them brought out the habits that we live by under stressful situations! In a traffic congestion, most people behave in an orderly way and some others disregardful of others. 

What is that which helps us to live by a value system? Carl Jung, refers to this phenomenon as the collective unconscious. Each community or society reflects this collective unconscious in its attitude, behaviour and response to stressful situations. 

I came across a Paediatrician working in a town, who devotes one day in a week who gives special attention to developmentally challenged children and their parents.  The few children the Paediatrician welcomes gets special attention on that day. This Paediatrician mentioned of this as an act of supporting the stressed parents with conversation and suggestions to find a pathway for a home based learning plan for the children. This initiative generated interests in the other professionals in the hospital.  There is a new consciousness about creating more facility for such children in the hospital following this.  The decision of a Paediatrician influenced the collective consciousness, which then becomes the 'salt and light' to gradually evolve into the collective unconscious, which provides the moral grounding for people to feel rooted. 

Father Davis Chiramel, a catholic priest from Trichur donated his one kidney to  an electrician, Gopinathan, 48 years, in September 2009, to save his life following the kidney failure. This generous act created the a social initiative through Kidney Federation of India to promote live organ donation and help poor patients who suffer from kidney failure. There are many renal dialysis units which came up in different parts of Kerala, where economically stressed individuals get subsidised renal dialysis. It is one example of how the collective unconscious has been framed and formulated by an exemplary initiative of one person. 

Our behaviour is regulated by the ambience of the collective unconscious and the personal response arising from the awakening the collective unconscious creates within! 

The collective unconscious is an epigenetic influence modulating social behaviour!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A flourishing family !

 

The foliage in the trees in our garden during this season brings a colourful look with tender new leaves, gradually turning green to match the rest of the foliage.

Amidst these annual growth cycle of trees, the undergrowth in the garden has another story to say. The breeding season of Butterflies happens  concurrently.  

The trees and the wild growth underneath go through the growth cycle of life. 

In a conversation with a family I discovered  how the  family has evolved an orderly structure in their home to promote adult growth and the childhood formation of their two children. I felt fascinated by their focus, on 'we grow up together' ! 

The daily de-briefing time the husband and wife takes before bed time is a way of supporting each other in this growth experience. Their motto of this de-briefing time is, 'In listening we become more close to each other'. I feel fascinated by their optic and experience of shared growth experience. 

As a couple there is a structure  for each parent to have individual time with each child regularly and a family time at least twice a week, for conversation, board games and listening! 

The family is grounded in the art and practice of listening! They nurture each other by inward listening. I heard the mother speaks about, 'heartfulness' and not just mindfulness alone while listening. 

The trees shed the leaves before they have shoots of leaves to give a new foliage cover for the next season. 

This is a pointer to the 'renewal' experience in family life where we go beyond the existing routines to find fresh and refreshing beginnings of communication, trustfulness and relationships. 

The trees and plants have their seasonal renewal experiences! One evidence of that is the flowering and fruiting season which follow on. 

The signs of an endearing family life involve, growing intimacy, attachment, thoughtfulness, giving, forgiving and belonging. 

To me, this is the wellness quotient in family relationship. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Living symbolically !

This fragile Lily withstood the wind and rain of the last two days and stays colourfully in the corner of our garden near the main gate! It is a gift of radiance in the garden! 

It occurred to me that it is a lamp of hope in the adverse situations! Its inherent fragile nature did not yield to the wind and rain! Even in that fragile state, it has its inherent strength in its being!

This is a message of hope and value for many of us who feel carried away by the wind of thoughts of anxiety, loss and stress amidst the chaos in different countries of the world to whom the nations of the world looked up to thus far as models of development and good governance! 

There is more to this flower cluster above, as one bud is yet to open!

I felt awakened to trust in human resilience in difficult times. 

What Apostle Paul wrote in the book of Galatians chapter 6 verse 9 (New Testament of the Bible) surfaced in my mind: "And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap, if we do not lose heart"(NKJV).

The Lily above became to me a  symbol of the calling to live soulfully, heartily and mindfully !

Living quietly and yet symbolically!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

 

 

From meandering to Meaning !

It was while taking a series of photos of this Bulbul pair perched on a tall tree in our garden, on a cloudy morning with darkened sky, I was taken back to memories of 1985, when Anna and I faced dark clouds ahead of us, with only faant light to lead our path ahead.

We moved to Chennai in 1983 to engage ourselves in Child Development and rehabilitation for which we started a Child Development Centre and formed a voluntary organisation, ASHIRVAD. 

The response to our initiative was less than we anticipated. With children trickling in, we realised that we lacked sufficient clinical skills to engage children and families when the rehabilitation needed skills which we did not have. Having embarked on this journey, and feeling confused, I experienced a feeling of meandering. The opportunities at the Rainy Hospital and MITHRA, a rehabilitation centre,  did not pacify  the inner restless. 

The secretary, Ms Yoga George, who helped us at work, having heard me talk about the different aspects of the implications of the liberalised policy of the government of India, on the Medical Termination of Pregnancy, introduced in 1983, asked me once, 'If you are ready to write a book on this theme, I shall take the dictation and transcribe to make the typescript'! I brushed aside the suggestion. On two other occasions in a fortnight she reminded me about this.. I could not think beyond the disappointing outcome of our efforts in child development and our limited skills to carry on. 

On one  morning, Yoga came to my room at 8.30 am with a dictation pad and said, 'I have come to take dictation of the book on issues related to abortion'. I felt moved by her interest and offer of help. For the next one hour, I spoke and she used short hand to write. At 4 Pm before leaving, Yoga gave me six pages of the typed text on the introduction of the book. 

For the next six weeks, each morning, Yoga took dictation and completed the text ready for editing and cross checking with others for feed back. 

I was a member of the governing Council of the Christian Medical College of Vellore, representing the Bible Medical Missionary Fellowship (BMMF) (now Interserve). At one council meeting in 1984, on its first day, the Director Dr L.B.M.Joseph moved a resolution to have a policy on the Medical Termination of Pregnancy (MTP). At lunch time, I went to Dr LBM (that was how he was known) and showed my interest in the discussion on the MTP through a Biblio-centric perspective. He was interested to hear that I had a typescript I was editing on issues related to abortion, titled, 'Let Me Live'.  He asked for it and read most of it that night and shared to the council next morning, a summary of the Biblio-centric view quoting from Let me Live. He surprised me when he concluded his presentation by proposing the formation of a sub-committee to take this matter forward with Dr V.I. Mathan, Dr K.C.Mammen and myself as its members.  It was possible to propose a document on the policy for  CMC Vellore on MTP in the next council meeting. 

Anna and I felt that we were meandering and were feeling concerned about not being professionally engaged meaningfully! This book, the way it was written through dictation at the spontaneous nudging of Yoga came to us, as a sign that meandering is a desert experience, part of the formation process of becoming.

Ms Yoga George was a refugee in India, who came to escape the ethnic conflict which was raging at that time in Colombo. She became the midwife for the birth of a book. 

The book was published by the Evangelical Medical Fellowship of India when Dr Kuruvella George became the general secretary in 1989.

It was only when I heard from Dr Bruce Nicholls and Dr Zaphir Athyal of the Union Biblical Seminary, Pune, I realised that it was the only book written by an Indian doctor through a Biblio-centric optic on the Medical Termination of Pregnancy, available at that time, which therefore had become a reference book in theological colleges in Medical Ethics.  

There was another significant turning point in early in1984, when Anna and I were invited to be partners of the BMMF. Ms. Margaret Parkinson, the India representative of BMMF, suggested to her counterpart in England, Mr Arthur Pont that Anna and I be given an opportunity to train in Child development in England. She did this after spending two days with us at the Child Development Centre, where I was largely involved in the clinical appraisal of developmentally challenged children and Anna was providing the neuro-developmental support for children. Seeing us improvising and doing what was possible with our skills, Margaret felt the need for us to have a wider experience and connect with other professionals overseas as the speciality of child development did not exist in India at that time. 

Mr Arthur Pont in 1985 June got in touch with the academic officer of the Institute of Child Health, attached to the Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital, London. Mr Duncan Guthrie having heard about our need to be trained in Child Development offered me a position in the newly started course on child development and community based rehabilitation and offered admission for the 2026 academic term. Mr Guthrie offered a scholarship and the Mr Arthur Pont of BMMF offered to underwrite all other expenses including family travel, family accommodation and living expenses for fifteen months. That was a door, was opened to us for further training, when we felt that we were meandering!

On the last day of the course, Prof David Morley, walked with me up to the exit of the Institute and held my hand to say farewell. He said this to me, " You have a long journey ahead to help children and bring meaning to parents in their lonely journey". Those words had a resonating appeal !

Those fifteen months of training moved away all the clouds which had besieged us during our earlier three years at Chennai. When we returned to Chennai in 1987, we felt that the desert was not just meandering, but a formation process essential for a long journey ahed. 

This training became an  incentive and a foundation for a good start in a scientifically based Child Development practice in Chennai in 1987. 

The next nine years at Chennai took us to another level of academic ambience of child development, helping us to lay the foundation for beginning  the speciality of Developmental Paediatrics in India. The post doctoral training at the Institute of Neurology, Madras Medical College for three years in Developmental Neurology reinforced the academic pursuit in Developmental Paediatrics. 

That is how ASHIRVAD was asked by the Christian Medical College, Vellore in 1996 to enter in to a Memorandum of Understanding to incorporate the Child Development Centre at Chennai to become the first Unit of Developmental Paediatrics in Indian in 1997. 

I have a suspicion that Dr William Cutting of Edinburgh would have primed CMC to take this step. By then the following book, Beginnings  by a British writer, Ms Katharine Makower was also published, which summarised the story of ASHIRVAD and its child development centre from 1986-1996, which would have made the CMC administration to include starting this speciality along with other four specialities in connection with its centenary year 2000. 

                  

The new speciality of Developmental Paediatrics was started at CMC Vellore in February 1997, which was the first academic unit of Child Development In India. 

Now, forty years later, it was good to have been reminded by the two Bulbuls perched on the summit of a tree, looking around on a cloudy morning with dark clouds all around, about our inner optic forty years ago. 

We felt we were meandering.  We were in our late thirties at that time and facing the mid-life transition towards finding meaning to life.  

We were given an opportunity to travel safely through a desert experience. 

The oasis experiences I referred to above came to us in most unexpected ways. 

As Anna and I look back, we remember a large number of friends in this country and overseas who held us close to them in an endearing way. That provided us the shelter, protection and fortitude while meandering and walking in the desert! 

What young people of today need when they enter mid-life is such supportive and formative friendship!

M.C. Mathew (text and photo)