The inner transition experience !

The Black Pepper vine is a spice now entering its season in our garden to yield green spikes initially with inflorescence and later with green berries. The green berries over about three months would become larger and turn red, which is the time to harvest them and have them dried in the sun to turn them to be Black pepper.

These creeper plants have a long history of seventy or more years, planted my parents. They continue to give the berries every year. 

The berries on the green spikes are at different stages of formation and growth as seeing the above photos. I notice that as a common phenomenon in about thirty-five trees in our garden. 

That interested me and made me make enquiries. One explanation which looked plausible is that the older vine will bear the inflorescence initially followed by the younger branches. Often they mature around the same time. 

It summarises something profound for adult education. As adults we have qualities and behaviour which have become mature corresponding to our ageing; some of our behaviour are yet to carry wholeness and maturity and some stay infantile! 

This differential formative process is a natural tapestry of our lives! The self directed learning appraisal through a structured audit periodically often helps us to appreciate this spectrum of developmental stage of our attitudes and behaviour and journey towards revising our lives!

This adult formation process, which occurs in a  consistent and consolidated manner in mid life (40-65 years) can be facilitated by regular personal appraisal, which would indicate the living and learning pathway we are on! 

It is this personal conversation with one self at the conscious level, which assists us in revising our lives to live with the awakened consciousness in different domains of our lives. Most of us remain anthropometrically and morphologically family constant in appearance in mid life. I was reminded of it when a senior citizen who was seeing me after twenty years said to me" You look the same when I saw you last".

But during this season, the inner formation takes place changing our attitudes, behaviour, beliefs,  relationships and the interior truths about our Self. Most of us would have attended to make our persona (ego self and shadow) to metamorphose into our true self which according to Carl Young is our Self. Most men would have evolved to incorporate the subconscious feminine dimension anima, present in their lives to make their masculine Self integrated. Similarly women would have incorporated the subconscious masculine animus to feel integrated with their  feminine Self. So much happens in our inward formation while our physical growth is stationary in mid life. 

I want to suggest that the inflorescence which becomes the black pepper symbolises a formative journey !  The inner formative journey from the raw self we are, to be the Self we have been destined for, happens in the mid life when we have an attitude to revise our life according to the enlightenment we receive. 

We move on from mid life to be an elder after 65 years according to the psycho-social theory of Erik Erikson. How refreshing we would have become to others, if we entered the elder years, with life becoming effervescent for others to feel  inspired! 

The flowers offer nectar to Sunbird! Our life can become such an offering to those who become weary while living and enduring!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

The have-nots and the left out!

A family of Mynah birds arrived at the feeding station in the evening to find no food. We were late to replenish the feed as it was raining. They hovered around the feeding station. When Anna went to replenish, they left the feeding station. If they were the regular visitors to the garden, they would have waited chirping to alert us of their arrival or returned afterwards. But they did not. They flew away for their night halt elsewhere. 

It was while looking at the photos above I noticed the expectant and disappointed look in their body language. 

I felt sorry that we could not be hospitable enough to them anticipating the evening round of visitors at the feeding station. Some flew away immediately when they found the bowls empty and some stayed on. Even then we were late for them !

They came searching food. They did not find it. What can the birds do except to fly away! 

It highlighted me the strain of living! 

It was not common for people to beg for food in our village. But now, I find women and senior citizens going from one restaurant to another to get something to feed their hunger !

The state government offered to start a mid day feeding stations for senior citizens after the state government created a separate ministry to oversee the welfare of senior citizens. I read about a farmer in north Malabar allowing senior citizens to visit his farm to pick a packet of fruits containing Mango, papaya, and Rambutan every day.  His reasoning is that he would share from his produce to support his neighbours. I guess that he becomes a light to others! 

A visitor who dropped in briefly yesterday who is a resident in Abu Dhabi, mentioned how hundreds have lost job recently due to the spill over of war in Iran. 

The recent strain of living is created by the American ambitions- more tariff, disarm Iran, control Venezuela, disgrace the migrant Americans...! I wonder how the president of America can foster such an imposing attitude! 

During the protests of students at New Delhi demanding for a fair examination system, the students received food packets ordered on line by hundreds of people from various parts of India and overseas ! What a noble and sensitive thought!

It is this humane mindfulness that most of us long to see as the normal way of living!

I wish shelter, food and a job would be a reality for the have-nots in different parts of the world! 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

 

People without freedom!

A hidden Sunbird in the foliage when became visible, was seen adapting bodily to its perception of the environment. A bird is a flier and a mover. It arrives and departs at it own pace and choice! It is seldom that we see a bird perched in one place for too long. Its urge is for flight and movement. Although the garden is its home, it has other places to visit, flowers to go to for nectar, and songs to sing !

The freedom to fly and move at its pace is its inherent nature. 

I read today in the news that those who live in Gaza might soon face food scarcity! The stock of food is getting exhausted. The people in Gaza live imprisoned at the mercy of Israel. 

Even a bird lives free! People of Gaza have no freedom of movement or independence!

I wish the Palestinians will find a home for themselves and freedom to live in their home land as promised to them !

M.C.Mathew ! 

The inner awareness and the outer movements!

Each of the photos above is that of a Bulbul at day break yesterday in our garden. They reminded me of the inner awareness of the environment expressed through the body movements affecting their posture, look and alertness. 

The inner awareness regulated the body behaviour. 

I have been following the recent 35 days old protest of students in New Delhi to express their deep concern about the failing system of the different entrance examinations with paper leak, 

The police action towards them when they took out a procession shocked me. A similar action of impoliteness and cruelty occurred while the Members of the parliament took out a procession. I do not want to comment if those processions were needed. 

What I feel grieved is the videos of police charging the students with their lathi with forceful movements towards students intending to harm. I wondered if the riot control response involves beating up an individual instead of just engaging a crowd to disperse! The students and the members of the parliament were protesting with slogans. They resisted the police from stopping the procession, which gave legitimacy to the police action. 

It is this I want to explore further! What might have been the inner frame of thinking and temper of the police to beat, intending to harm, from the videos that are circulating in the media ? To me it is a streak of force and violence! The police argues it as the only remedy to stop mass action in a civil society. 

The violence starts at our home in our behaviour towards children. I still have parents who seek to know if corporal punishment is helpful to discipline children! I feel such a thought springs from the silent consent parents offer to justify corporal punishment. What does a child gain from such a punishment except physical pain! He develops anger and a distancing from parents. The children choose to do mischief unnoticed to escape punishment. 

What if parents who are to be loving towards their children in their formative years, choose the pathway of instruction, correction and reinforcement ! 

This involves repeating our instruction a few times till a child develops the conditioning habit to do somethings in the way desired by parents. The pre-school children are not thinkers in a rational way as those skills develop only in mid childhood. Even the conscience formation which allows them to discern the right develops only around eight years. So all pre-school behaviours are internalised by the children based on how parents formulate the instruction for them to practice them as a habit. When a child does what is desirable, a pre-school child deserves to be appreciated and affirmed which then becomes an incentive, wanting to do what is acceptable. That becomes an incentive. Some parents tokenise such times with rewards. 

The correction is to help a child to move away form his preferred behaviour to a desired behaviour with explanation, clarification and further instruction. When this is done when the child is ready and parents are not angry, it becomes a communication with the potential for change. Often when parents are composed and are affectionate even when a child is resistant, the effects of change would set in gradually. 

The reinforcement is when a child receives praise and acknowledgement. Every effort a child makes to change is appreciated and affirmed. The negative responses from parents would make a child unwilling to change, because, the child reacts silently by refusing to change. It is for this reason, praise and gentle conversations bring better outcome than controlling children by threatening, punishing or fear generating saying such as, 'I will tell your teacher about your mischief' !

Any form of physical punishment which generates sorrow such as denying food, corporal punishment, screaming at a child, humiliating a child or frightening child with consequences would plant the seed of rebellion and anger in the early childhood. 

When I watched the policemen charging the students with lathi held between both hands and beating students, I wondered if they were driven by anger, harm and intending to hurt. Is it strange that a police man behaves like this in a reactive way! 

It is for this reason that the streak of violence resides in our interior, needs to be reconciled or healed. Otherwise we carry out violent action! 

I wonder if there is a habit in our homes when parents would apologise to children when they lost their temper and behaved  towards children impulsively! Are there family meetings once a week when parents listen to their children about how they felt about parental behaviour towards them! Are there occasions in our homes when children can negotiate with parents rather than being forced to do only what is expected by parents! Do parents behave responsibly such as eat the food that is served on the plate! Or, do they have a different standard to choose their food they like and yet insist that children eat what is served ! Whose habits a child would pick up except that of the parents by seeing their behaviour! 

I felt disturbed seeing bleeding students and some in plaster after the police action. I also saw some miscreants, not part of the student group pelting stones, another sign of violent streak resident in some! 

Let me suggest that we can plant the seeds of peace and goodwill to our children in their formative years, so that they grow up choosing peace, hope, goodwill and service as their normal temperament!

For this to happen, parents ought to be facilitating the gentle and hospitable temperament during their early childhood!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

 

The NEET and its fault lines!

 

As this Bulbul planned its moves to reach the bush to get its berry in the morning today in our garden, I noticed how fulfilled it looked !

I have been reading various reports about the student protests in various parts of India to express their grief over malpractices associated with NEET examination for medical admissions. It was when I saw the Bulbul above feeling fulfilled, I got yet another pointer to the unfulfilled aspirations of the students. 

I recall how 19.99 lac students appeared for the NEET in 2025, and 11.21 lac students were qualified. Only 1.25 lac students could join for the medical course out of those who were eligible.  

The first NEET in 2013, was struck down by the honourable Supreme Court of India as unconstitutional. In 2016, the Supreme Court recalled its earlier judgement and mandated NEET as the uniform, single-window medical entrance test. The responsibility to conduct the NEET was handed over to the National Testing Agency in 2019. Earlier it was conducted by the CBSE. 

The leakage of the examination papers is a criminal offence with huge financial transactions and students are tired of this malpractice. The preparation for NEET for students starts during the plus two season. Some take a a year break after the plus two to join coaching programme to qualify in the NEET. 

Is it not time for the medical fraternity in India to raise a voice of concern to have one single entrance test? The education is in the concurrent list of the constitution, which makes the state government a partner with the government of India in making policy decisions!  Why is that the state governments were not consulted when NEET was introduced. 

Now the fault lines having been discovered a few times in the recent examinations, is it not time to have a relook at the appropriateness of the NEET which lays a burden on students financially and studying subjects one more time which the students did to qualify to pass the plus two examination. Is not NEET only a test of memory? What an aspirant to study medicine needs is logical thinking, problem solving skills, analytical skills, personal qualities of empathy and ethical values and  an aptitude for self-giving service.  These essentials are not tested in NEET. What is peripheral is over emphasised in NEET exam. A student having got 80 percent or more marks in science subjects is clever enough to study medicine. If at all an entrance test is required it ought to be test the aptitude. 

I feel saddened to think that the ministers in the central government are silent seeing the distress of students who were pushed to go on this protest movement !

Why is the medical fraternity silent about finding an option to NEET !

Why are the state governments not forthcoming to ask for a dialogue on the NEET and an alternative pathway to choose students for  medical study!

There are many educational philosophers in this country who can intervene to diffuse the protest and engage students to find a way forward by suggesting an alternative to NEET.  

This country owes a better approach of consolation and affirmation towards students and not a police action on them.  They are forced to protest about the failure of the government to conduct the NEET examination fairly! 

The Bulbul makes the effort and feels fulfilled. 

Our students make best of their efforts and remain unfulfilled. 

Should we not care to give students a better selection process for medical studies? 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

The gift of presence !

The Bulbul's way of feeding is strikingly different from other birds visiting the feeding station in our garden. They turn the meal time into a shared time of being present to each other with patience and turn taking. They take only small bites and make the meal time a time of becoming present to each other. 

Let me use the fifth in the series of recollections of my association with Mr L.T.Jeyachandran at Nagpur in the late sixties, to highlight how he communicated the larger meaning of becoming present to an ever present God. He brought into his talks and conversations a verse from the book of Genesis to reveal the mystery of the presence of God in God's creation: "And they heard the sound of the Lord walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden" (Gene.3:8). Jeya pictured to us an imagery of God as the One, who is silently present with us and seeking after us. Jeya presented to us Jesus as the good shepherd, watching over the sheep, as portrayed in the parable Jesus spoke about a shepherd looking out for one sheep that was lost out of the hundred. For me this message of God's accompanying presence was a new consciousness about who we are and whose we are!

I had a lonely feeling in my pre-clinical years as a medical student. It was the first time I travelled out of the state of Kerala. I was displaced to an unfamiliar place, culture, language and environment of learning. That made me feel lost and aimless. It was in that context, when I was gradually recovering to feel connected with my new setting the opportunity to attend meetings which Jeya addressed for students, initiated me into finding my refuge in God.  The message of God's presence in every human soul was comforting and affirming. 

Jeya was an example of effervescence with cordial and warm temperament which created within me an hunger to know more of this God because of whom Jeya was a radiant and reflective person. It was during that time, I came across a diploma course offered by the London Bible College, through the Hindustan Bible Institute at Chennai. It was a course structured for self study with notes sent out by the LBC and reading assignments from recommended books. The course required a local invigilator to conduct the written examination every two months. When I approached Jeya to be an invigilator, he was delighted by my interest to pursue a formal study of the Scripture. It offered an opportunity to have further personal contact with him, once in two weeks to have a question time with him based on the notes I had to learn from. It was during that regular meetings with him, I was further surprised to have a glimpse of his theological formation through self study. 

It was during a conversation during a tutorial with him, I discovered that he had a strong urge to study theology at the Union Biblical Seminary located at Yeotmal at that time. He had his first posting in the Indian Engineering service at Bombay. He thought of discontinuing his service and join for theological training in 1965. But the last date for application was already over at that time.  That was how he felt guided to stay on in his engineering service for 28 years before he took premature retirement after having been a chief engineer.  He moved on to be actively involved in teaching and equipping young people in their formation to live godly lives since then.

Jeya emphasised competence and integrity as the hallmark of a person in any form of service. I liked the way he suggested to me to value this in the practice of medicine. He indicated that medical professionals had an opportunity to explore new horizons in health care, particularly to offer affordable treatment in the rural areas. It was from him I heard for the first time about Dr Ida Scudder, the founder of Christian Medical College, Vellore in 1900. The story of how an unwilling Ida to study medicine went on to study medicine and return to work, along with her father Dr John Scudder Jr. at Vellore inspired me. 

It is this which fascinates me when I recall the years of Jeya at Nagpur. He was able to build relationships with students to influence them to consider a purpose beyond a career path for themselves. I remember how about six students from Nagpur after their undergraduate studies in medicine went to work in rural areas in north India, because of the missionary vocation that Jeya infused into us. 

The fellowship group of students, that emerged through his pastoral care  at Nagpur became a forum that students came to expectantly every Sunday morning. It was normal to have eighty or more students attend the Bible study that Jeya led by the third year of his presence. At the time when he was transferred out of Nagpur, a gloom had descended on all of us. His absence was felt and we  relived memories by recalling the personal experiences of encouragement we received from him. 

I return to the contacts and relationships with Jaya during his time at Nagpur. It was at a critical phase in my life, when he guided me to find a purpose for living and take delight in the study of medicine. I feel that, Jeya's prompting made all the difference for the rest of my life! Jeya became a path finder for some of us at Nagpur. 

Now is the time to share our memories of his influence upon our lives to let him feel glad for the light he was able to lit in our lives to turn us Godward !

Anna and I remember Jeya and Esther and keep them in our thoughts . They live their lives serving and inspiring many ! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Overflowing from fullness !

This is the fourth recollection during this week, of my association with Mr L.T.Jeyachandran during a period of three years at Nagpur in the late nineteen sixties.  It was the news of his illness which evoked within me a deep feeling of gratitude for his gift of love and regards I received when I was looking for a direction my life. 

I happened to come across a book a few months ago, In the heart of the temple-My spiritual vision for Today's word, authored by Joan Chittister, published in 2025. She belongs to the Benedictine order of spiritual tradition and has authored other books, considered to be full of treasures for those who want to deepen their personal spirituality. In this book, Joan expressed her vision by discussing sixteen themes which invites a contemplative attention to spirituality. 

The themes such as Work, Simplicity, Stewardship, Prayer, empowerment, wholeness, Equality and Vision which are the few of the sixteen themes in this book, were the themes Jeya explored in his talks and meditations during the season when he was at Nagpur in the late sixties. While reading this book, I felt taken back to the seeds Jeya planted in his talks, which at that time escaped our full attention as most of us were infants in faith. 

What occurred to me while reading the book was a sense of wonder about the prophetic sense Jeya carried in preparing us for a long journey in our pilgrim journey, by anchoring us on deeper issues of the soul from the start.  

One aspect of his instructive teaching was that the more we meditated on what we heard, the more we were surprised by the embedded truth. It became a habit for me to write notes while listening to him as much as possible, so that there was something to read and receive every day till the next Bible study. His messages appealed to our mid, moved our heart and aroused a longing for God. A speaker or writer who can do that, is the one who speaks or writes from the depth of his or her being. 

His talks and Bible studies were fresh every time like the way a new day is different from the previous day.  Where would such freshness and endearing message spring from except from a personal meditative habit! Among us students, who were young in faith, this habit we noticed in Jeya, became an inspiration to be faithful in developing the personal habits of meditation and prayer. 

What was outstanding about the content and quality of conversation with Jeya was the Christo-centricity he brought to his thought world. His reference and exposition of the sermon on the Mount illustrated how much he prepared himself to stay rooted in what would make a person wholesome and integrated. 

The book, Hunger for Reality, by George Verver was recommended for reading for beginners in their faith journey. The author introduced the theme of dichotomy in personal life- the gap between what we profess and practice. I recall the occasion when  Jeya brought this to our level of understanding, by referring to the struggle and  confession that St Paul made about himself, appearing in Romans 7: 14-25; "For the good that I wish, I do not do; but I practice the very evil that I do not wish'. I have a vivid memory of how Jeya freed us from the burden of our faltering steps by referring to the experience of an infant learning to walk by falling several times. The child falls into the receiving hands of his mother or father safely, to be lifted up to make the next effort to walk. 

Although these experiences  happened about fifty five years ago, they had left impressions which had a recurring impact in my life. I was prone to wandering in my pilgrim journey. But some of these truths that we as students saw in flesh in the way Jeya lived in the market place of his work, substantiated to us the words of Jesus, "I am with you always..' !

Jeya and a missionary heart. That is why he chose to be in a transferable job. Jeya would talk to us about mission hospitals and cross cultural health care in rural areas in north India. That was the first introduction to me about thinking beyond the conventional path of following a career path in the practice of medicine. It was from him, I got introduced to think about practice of medicine as a calling ! I feel glad as I look back, because that consciousness helped me in my formative process !

The contact with Jeya for a season of three years offered me thoughts and direction to build on. 

I have had occasional contacts with Jeya after his time at Nagpur. He went on to live and work in different places initiating many into a faith journey ! 

Anna and I remember Jeya and Esther at this time when they adjust to a difficult situation their lives. They stay in our thoughts and hearts!

 M.C.Mathew (text and photo)