Our garden has a symbolic representation of our family tree. That is how Anna designed the front garden recently. The three Plumeria and three Hibiscus plants represent the grandchildren from both families of our children. The two desert plants represent the two children. The rose bush which is the oldest of rose bushes, planted by my parents about fifty years ago, represent Anna and me. 

I confess that these are the plants most attended to in our front garden. 

 

A surprise in our garden!

The rose bush above in our garden,  has flowers that change the colour after blossoming ! It is an unusual phenomenon. None of the other thirty rose bushes we have in our garden shows this behaviour! 

A garden offers sights that bring surprises! 

M.C.Mathew( text and photo)

 

Taking what you need!

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The visiting birds returned to the garden after a week, following the dry spell of the last two days after a week of rain and thunderstorm. The Sunbirds feeding on the nectar brought normality to the routines in the garden. 

About three hundred meters away, I noticed a Bulbul flying to join another Bulbul, probably its pair, perched on the summit of a tree. 

The Bulbul at the feeding station with its bird call was waiting for its pair to arrive! The Barbet waited for the Bulbul to leave the feeding station. But hearing another Barbet's bird call it flew away into the foliage cover, skipping its list to the fading station. 

These are regular happenings in the garden. But when one notices them, there is an opportunity to feel near to the life events of the avians. They live on the provisions they find, for which they have to fly to different places each day!

We heard yesterday, how a family who came to visit their relatives in Ernakulum from Bombay are waiting for the air fare to return to the normal level from its 150 percent increase due to the festive season. The investigations by a civil society organisation in Karnataka state revealed that the petrol has 31 percent Ethanol as against the 20 percent which the car engine can cope with. The hotel tariffs are higher by 100 percent during the festive season! In one supermarket the oats packet is sold at the printed price and in another supermarket it is sold hundred rupees less than the printed price on the packet. When we hear of these practices, there is a sense of stress! We live in an exploitative business culture! The instinct to use an occasion for disproportionate profit is a violation of trust that is inherent to good consumer practices. 

I return to the birds. They labour to fetch their food by flying to different stations. They are given in plenty. They live well fed and content!

I sense a desperation in human behaviour to have more and yet not feeling content!  

The appeal by a civil society group to reduce the expenses during the festival season and contribute to help people who need medical treatment but are unable to pay, yielded good response! That is a refreshing and hopeful sign of the human spirit of solidarity with those who suffer! 

I feel grateful for the birds coming to our garden telling us how they are well cared for every day! They bring the message of contentment and comfort! Theirs is a counter culture to the stressful way of living caused by a longing to have more! 

M..C.Mathew (text and photo)

 

The abundance of the collective !

 

The Thailand Powderpuff flowers bring a rich colourful look in the front lawn of our garden. The aliveness and the brightness they add to the garden is refreshing to watch. 

Each flower contributes to form the ball of flowers! A few hundreds together form the cluster of flowers. 

The fullness is formed by the many flowers blossoming together ! This synergy and togetherness make that possible. 

I recall a five year old child looking at the blossoms of the flower and saying to his parents: 'Many flowers make the ball'! What an insightful observation and description! 

This message resonated with my thoughts at that time! A family ambience becomes equally comfortable to everyone when the longing for togetherness and shared life experiences become the ethos of the home! 

Such a journey takes us from an individualistic view of life to a family centred view of life! 

Anna took a break from her active professional pursuit when children needed a home where their interests needed to be taken care of. She returned to her professional education and teaching career after a break of fifteen years. The twenty five years since then in her teaching path took her beyond her field of Pharmacology to new directions such as editing a book on Medical education and starting a scientific journal from the department of Continuing Medical Education at CMC Vellore. For us as a family at the right time, she held us together as a family, by being a home maker and enabler to rest of us to pursue what appeared to be an opportunity ahed ! I feel moved every time I am reminded of the self-giving gift Anna brought to our home, which held us together during a season of many demands. The formation of ASHIRVD, a voluntary organisation focussing on Child Development and Integrated Living was largely possible because of Anna's availability and initiative. Anna had the foresight to see the future and make her presence in a seminal way to allow our children to grow and blossom at a time, when they needed that formative support ! 

Every family is a blossom of flowers. Each person forms the collective ambience of a family! The integrating, participating and relational ambience in a home make a family to become a blossom ! Just as the blossoms become a delight for the beholder, every family is to be a blessing to others! That is the vocation of each family! 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

 

Openness and regardful attitude !

Someone mentioned to me that I weave different stories from the Lilies in  our garden in this blog post. It is because they bring different messages each time I stay receiving their greeting with gentle sway in the breeze ! The fact that the hollow thin rimmed stalk which carries the flowers does not break away even in a strong wind, continues to surprise me and engage me to know more about the messages they carry through their presence in the garden. 

This time it was the way the flowers open in all directions. It symbolises openness ! It is opposite to the way one sided opinions are imposed on others who are in the political hierarchy. The ongoing war in Iran, Ukraine, Israel and the street protests in Italy, France, Switzerland, India and few other countries show the ugly side of pursuing one sided view of political ideologies or trade ideologies or social values. 

The Lilies open in different directions suggesting, that they become open towards all around them! 

The biography of Mrs Sonia Gandhi, Belonging, A journey of love is due for its release today. Based on the preview of the book, comments are coming in from followers of a particular ideology belittling her as a woman with an 'Italian' mindset! 

This worries me as this form of prejudice is what restricts us from being open, liberal and generous towards others. How small we can become when, we see others through our narrow beliefs and orientation! 

The right and left side in our body are similar but dis-similar in functions and neurological orientation!

The Lilies above send a strong message, appealing to us, to be open, generous, gracious and tolerant! That is the core value of humanity and human relationships. 

It took a long time for me to choose openness as the way of all relationships. During my-mid life, as I look back, I realise how some conflicts could have been avoided or minimised, if I was more open, patient and negotiating in approach! 

Our opinions matter but regardful attitudes towards others matter even more, even when we have an opinion different from theirs on some matters! 

I spotted a few birds in the garden today. The birds would have moved away to safer places due to lightning and thundering with heavy rains in the afternoons during the last ten days 

Even our feeding station remained deserted for a week now!

May be, the arrival of birds would bring new thoughts and different insights!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Going back to befriend those who are different !

 

The recent conversations and explorations I come across in the newspapers and the social media about Generation Z brought me some insights about their identity and purposefulness, which they expect others to recive!

They have a collective identity of large numbers, shared strength, and collective opinion which they demonstrate in the streets in some countries, seeking for social or political or existential change !

They have an individual identity as digital natives, who thrive on self directed journey by exploring the expanse of the digital world of facts, opinions and ideas. They find the smartphone as a medium to stay in touch with the world around. 

They also have a formative identity which they borrow from few opinion makers, who are actively present in the digital world with analytical and factual explorations of the social, educational and job contexts in which they live. 

The third photo above brought a message for me to ponder upon. The one bud that has blossomed is just one of the four other buds, which are yet to blossom. When the other three blossom, they too will be like the one which has already blossomed, as seen in the second photo. Together they make an identical community, as in the cluster of flowers in the first photo.  

Just as these flowers have their normal blossoming rhythm, the Generation Z too has its own rhythm of formation and presence! The urban generation Z born between 1997 and 2012 as it is proposed by social anthropologists, was born at a time when their parents have been well into pursuit of their prospects socially, financially and professionally. That was the time when the digital space and smart phones occupied a central place in most urban homes. The ambience of the homes they grew up stayed connected to a global social and philosophical influence. This global world which permeated into each home created a merging effect of diversities, contradictions, and variables which dissolved the distinctive features of the inherited cultural heritage of each home. The children growing up in such homes, where their formation was impacted by opinions in the digital space, transcended the micro-culture which parents would have tried to create to support the formative journey of the children. But I suspect the digital space of informations, ideas, possibilities, entertainment, gaming, and changing global social norms guided the journey path of this generation beyond the parenting influence. I have reasons to suspect from conversations with parents of this generation Z, that they felt the pressure to release the children to a global influence as it became the convention in many homes. 

So the generation Z has arrived and now occupies the public space with  questions, protests, demands and pressure for change! 

Does generation Z see beyond the collective strength they represent to be able to guide the societal formation for a better altruistic purpose than what they currently come across in their cultural climate in each country?  That is the decisive question. The Millennial and generation Alpha have been through similar imposing presence with their interests and preferences. But they too faded away without making a foundational change! 

I wish the politicians, policy makers and those in governance would listen and engage the generation Z at a time when their energy is turned to peaceful public protests! Let me suggest that this generation of parents in their mid-life created the generation-Z. Therefore we owe to them to take responsibility to guide them through this season of envisioning a future in which they have a place to belong to. If the current unemployment state, a bleak future of economic and social prospects, and the burden of having to socially support an ageing population in most countries, continue to be the norm, they would weigh heavily on generation Z. So the rest of us have a responsibility to shelter them to feel secure. 

We add injury to their hurt and  uncertainty by using force to suppress them and conform them to our expectations !

In India, this generation fears if they would have voting rights as the current policy of the Election Commission of India eliminated about 130 million eligible voters from the voter's list ! This adds to their stress of being made voiceless for them to express their opinion! 

I wonder if we fail to see each tree in the wood!  The trees that form the wood are of many species, features and character! The Generation Z is such a wood of diverse opinions, interests and expectations! 

I wonder if those in governance of each country would have a council of consultants to make sense of the aspirations of the Generation Z. The United States of America has a president in his eighties. We in India have a prime minister in his late seventies. So they are far distanced imaginatively, emotionally and pragmatically from the mood and values of generation Z.

It is only When I am able to behold and be surprised by the elegance  of each Lily in our garden, I can rise up to see the richness in the cluster of Lilies as in the first photo! 

I wish the parents, politicians, policy makers, social anthropologists and religious leaders would make a journey into the community of Generation Z and become partners with them for our common journey!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

A light of hope during stressful time !

Every time I walk past this rose bush in our garden, and notice the abundant gift of buds and flowers, I think about it as a mystery as the plant has 'so much' to give although a small bush! During the last two years, since it was planted in the garden, its habit is to be ornamental with blooming flowers. 

Let me comment on a reconciled relationship between two prominent persons in India, one a senior Journalist and another a senior politician after having been in polarised positions ideologically and perceptively! 

                       

 

     

Mrs Sonia Gandhi, wife of a former Prime Minister of India, late Mr Rajeev Gandhi, is due to release her memoir, Belonging, A journey of Love on 10th November, 2026. 

The first interview on her book appeared in the social media, in which Mr N Ram, a former editor of The Hindu, a national daily news paper, shared excerpts of his interview with Mrs Gandhi on her book. 

Mr Ram was  the one who called for a national press meet in New Delhi on 12 October, 1989, where he alleged that there were bribes given to middle men to acquire Bofors guns for the Indian army when Mr Rajeev Gandhi was the Prime Minister. I happened to be in the flight that Mr Ram took from New Delhi to Chennai, after this most shocking news conference. During the flight, the press reporters present continued seeking clarifications about this allegation. I overheard the conversation in which Mr Ram was categorical about the involvement of an Italian middle man to secure the defence deal. Mr Ram was sure about the reliability of the source of his  information. Following this, the then defence minister, Mr V, P. Singh resigned and rose to rally the opposition parties under his leadership to challenge the leadership of the Prime Minister, Mr Rajeev Gandhi.

This discredited the leadership of Mr Rajeev Gandhi and his party lost the next general election, denying him the chance of returning as the Prime Minister, as he was popular Prime Minister.  

It is the same Mr N Ram, who took the interview of Mrs Sonia Gandhi the wife of late Mr Rajeev Gandhi after thirty seven years, to talk about her book. He praised the book and was appreciative of the memoir as a candid and captivating narration of her life.  

For Mrs Gandhi to give an interview to Mr Ram, because of whom Mr Rajeev Gandhi was discredited and lost his political prospects is another side of this insightful experience in Indian political history. 

As I listened to the briefing of Mr Ram yesterday, on his interview with Mrs Gandhi on her book, I felt that he approached her biographical book with an open mind appreciative of how Mrs Gandhi, after loosing her husband in a terrorist attack in Chennai on 21 May, 1991, stayed in public life as a woman of great stature, leading the congress party for 22 years at a stretch as its president. 

This meeting between Mr Ram and Mrs Gandhi after long years of intense estrangement, is a historic message of how conciliation or acceptance is possible even in difficult situations. I sense that, in this gesture of acceptance of each other in an accommodative attitude, lies a message of hope, at a time when the politics in India is in a melting pot. 

The political leadership currently governing the country and the opposition parties are now in a confrontal engagement! There are acts of commission and omission that the opposition parties hight light about the government, some of which if they are true, are serious departure from good governance. 

Let me present this accommodative attitude that Mrs Gandhi and Mr Ram demonstrated in meeting with each other for an interview, as a lesson to learn from about relational engagement in public life! We are co-travellers and fellow citizens although we have different political optics. 

How regretful it is to watch the political revengeful attitude towards others with another point of view in Israel, USA, and in some other countries, where social tensions and confrontations are straining the peaceful ambience of social wellness. 

I normally stay away from making any politically related comments in this blogposts. 

But this conciliatory public expression by two leaders moved me and I could not but share my reflections on it, to appreciate a dignified adult behaviour of magnanimity, tolerance and respectful regard! 

It is this,  I hope, can be a message to the Prime Minister of India and the leaders of the opposition parties in the Parliament of India, for them to be more consultative and collaborative!  

Three cheers to Mrs Gandhi and Mr Ram for showing the path of accommodation and acceptance after a season of strained relationships. 

I took time to go back to a few strained  relationships at work place, that are yet to be fully resolved. Although I took the initiative to stay in touch two people that does not seem to be enough to stay connected. I still stay in hope that there will be a way forward. To be able to receive each other without expectations is an inward journey that is freeing and releasing. I find this path a worthwhile pursuit! 

Let  me suggest that each of us has a lot to offer to build communicating relationships beyond the constraints we feel about our differences! 

The rose bushes in the two photos make that obvious! It is in giving we fulfil the vocation of our being! 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)