04 June, 2026

A joint experience !








This sequence of a toddler  attempting to crawl, assisted by his mother is an evidence of perseverance on the part of the child and mother! 

When the usual child development sequence is impaired, such a perseverant effort alone can make the child move forward developmentally. 

It was a moving and awakening experience to watch this joint effort of the child and mother giving a new experience for the child. 

This is an act of nurturing the initiative of a child by patient and thoughtful support! 

What was central to this effort was the gentle touch the mother offered with words of appreciation and encouragement! The self-giving mother and a responsive child in collaboration! 

The only thing we added by a word of support to the mother was to offer him a toy in the front, to have his focus on reaching the toy which becomes a motivation to move. In fact the concentration shifts from movement to playing by reaching out for the toy!

The way the mother responded enthusiastically to that suggestion indicated that the mother and child are soon going to be fulfilled by their joint efforts. 

The parenting experience is therefore a joint experience- parents and the child make a partnership for mutual encouragement!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

02 June, 2026

Parents showed the way!






In the early years of my involvement in child development, I was not sensitive about the physical ambience to be made child friendly when we invite children and families for consultation. A child needs that provision for his or her attention to be drawn by sounds, sights and movements. 



A toy shelf was added to the room which made a signifiant difference in observing the cognitive, behavioural and communication levels of children. 

I recall how a child friendly ambience provided information about children beyond what parents could describe. 

From this stage,  we moved on by requesting parents to upload short videos of children taken during solitary and group play, when they request for a consultation, which helped us to prepare ourselves to be ready to make further observations by providing an environment in the consultation room, which would make the child explore and interact. 

It was from this experience, we turned to video consultation for parents who had difficulties to travel. We uploaded video tutorials for parents to take the anthropometry and screen for vision, hearing and language ability. We used protocols to get information on sleep, diet and play. 

When I retired three years ago, this form of video based consultations were available for parents located in other countries, provided they came at least once for a physical consultation. 

Let me confess, it look a while to move to this path and provide a support system for parents that was easier for them to respond to!

I have conversations with Paediatricians on the video platform now, which has evolved into a dependable communication portal for discussion on child development and rehabilitation!

Let me confess, that parents had to persuade me to shift from insisting on physical consultation to video-based conversations as much as possible. Thank you parents. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)




 

31 May, 2026

Given and carried forward!



This logo above designed in 1997, when ASHIRVAD, an  Initiative for child development and integrated living, was offered to partner with CMC Vellore to start the Developmental Paediatrics Unit at CMC,  the first of its nature in any medical college in India. That was the beginning of the speciality of Developmental Paediatrics in India. This logo inspired us because of the call it communicated to 'build to belong'. The Developmental Paediatrics Unit initiated its professional training programme in 2005. 

It will be thirty years next year since starting the Unit. 

Of all the things of significance since then, one recollection that brings a sense of fulfillments is the way a collaborative spirit emerged where parents, children and professionals became the building partners to belong to a common purpose. 

Fostering child development was that common purpose. The parents of children initiated the process; children became the focus of attention and professionals became the path finders. Thus this process became a joint building mission. 

Each child and his or her parents presented a situation that was exclusive to their situation of need. It is this experience of listening and discerning that provided to initiate the building process. 

One child we welcomed at 2 years at the Child Development Centre, Chennai is in her early forties living well inspite of few health related needs. Her parents are her unwavering supporters. They in their sixties  have their health constraints. The messages we receive from them tell us a lot about the effects of a partnership that emerged out of the vision to 'build to belong'! 

As Anna and I look back, what moves us is an outcome, larger than our dream! 

Jesus of Nazareth used five loaves and two fish, given to Him by a boy, to multiply to feed five thousand people, as recorded in the gospel of John in the new testament of the Bible (John 6:1-14).

Such surprising experiences do happen in the lives of all of us. What we witness now from the partnership ASHIRVAD had with CMC Vellore in 1997 to initiate the Developmental Paediatrics is such a surprise. There are about thirty Developmental Paediatrics Units in India which came into being since them, which train professionals in child development. 

The logo 'Build to Belong' was a vision given to us, which continues to unfold! 

We stay surprised and grateful!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)


 

30 May, 2026

Essential for an adult but not necessary for pre-schoolers



When a mobile phone becomes a toy or a pacifier to an infant, I guess it is an undesirable start for that infant! And yet it is commonly used to occupy an infant ! Having been given the phone the infant gets used to cry till he or she is given the mobile phone. A pattern which would have an inhibiting influence on the child to engage in toys for social or interactive play! The communication intent and language acquisition process might get stalled by this habit! 

During a conversation with a family I discovered that the parents use the mobile phone to occupy the child as it frees them to attend to their domestic chores. Thus the interactive and social time with the infant get reduced. For some infants and toddlers, the loss of social interaction with parents is a disadvantage leading to delay in developing social and communication skills. 

As we moved into using smart phones as against a mobile phone of the first or second generations, the phone is a mini computer where gaming,  viewing cartoons or surfing are easily possible. I saw a mother turning to her three year old son to down load a programme to watch, which showed how versatile that child was in the use of a smart phone. I do not come across the parents using the 'child lock' facility to protect the toddlers and pre-schoolers drifting into viewing what is not healthy for them. 

The discipline of using the mobile phone includes designing a protocol of practice that infants,  toddlers and pre-schoolers ought to follow! 

I feel disturbed when the smart phone is a more common toy than other toys for an infant or toddler! It is an indication of a poorly structured parenting practice !

I have in my conversations with parents suggested that they have a charting of the time they and their children spend watching any programme on the phone or TV. Some families who did that for about six weeks were conscious to monitor their habit to make it reasonable and create social interactive times with their toddlers and pre-school children! 

I want to suggest that while mobile phone is an essential part of an adults life, it is not a necessary part of children till they are six yers of age or above that!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)


29 May, 2026

From the body to integrating body and mind !






I took time during this week to revisit photographs of children, whose walking efforts were captured to study the dynamic and static functions while attempting to walk. I recall how this child when shown the bulletin board with photographs in the corner of the room showed an interest to move steadily, which reduced the muscle spasm that seemed to inhibit him initially! It was the sight of the bulletin board with photos that made a difference in his movement stride. That visual stimulus gave him motivation to move because of an interest to explore what was on the bulletin board. 

It was after watching some children in similar situations, the approach shifted from 'making a child to walk' to  'allowing a child to pursue visual or auditory cues' to facilitate movement. The effort to make a child walk might not get a child's full attention or interest. Instead if he or she has something interesting ahead to explore a few steps ahead, the movement gets initiated in the child's conscious thinking, in which case the motor synchronisation of movements takes place volitionally, which is more physiological. 

I recall the philosophy of conductive education which was a popular model introduced by Dr Andras Peto in the 1940's, designed to help children and adults with neurological disorders to learn independent daily living skills through 'active learning'. A visit to one of the centres in London in 1986 left a lasting impression in my mind. The 'conductor' who is a facilitator co-ordinated a small group of children or adults to participate in activities of daily living in  a setting where modified furniture and devices are used. It was a self motivated  learning process to adapt and learn newer ways to overcome limitations to  function in a way that was practical for each child. 

Another form of movement practice that Anna and I came across was 'Awareness through movement' introduced by Dr Moshe Feldenkrais, a Ukranian-Israeli engineer who focussed on 'learning how to learn' by overriding habitual and inefficient movement patterns. He suggested that by moving each part of the body with awareness and feeling the comfort and wellness,  the movements bring integration between the mind and the body. When body is moved in a slow manner by turning the attention of the mind to the movement, the new learning is initiated. This remains as a popular exercise regimen in neuro-rehabilitation as well as in improving co-ordinated body movements to bring relaxation to the body. 

One turning point in my consciousness was this new awareness in the early nineties, when the attention shifted to integrating the mind and body in helping  children to move. It is the attraction of a play activity, a visual, auditory, sensory or kinaesthetic experience awaiting the child, which invites a child to move. 

Looking back over the last forty years of involvement in child development and rehabilitation, I realise how such an approach yielded good results and found acceptance with parents. The recent book, published by ASHIRVAD,  Engage your child summarised our experiences on exploring play as a process to help a developmentally challenged child at home by parental initiatives. 

When a child voluntarily moves and finds that as fulfilling, he or she is in a new level of self directed learning, which is what we ought to aim for all children, who need enablement developmentally!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)






 

28 May, 2026

The fraternal sense !

 




During the mid day yesterday, when the the clouds cleared for a while, a pair of Bulbuls arrived at the feeding station and were engaged in their routines. I noticed an unusual attentiveness and focussed attention  which made me look in the direction of their focus. 

A Sunbird was perched in the branch of the Rambutan tree which was spreading out towards the feeding station. The stillness and interest with which the Bulbuls watched the Sunbird and the alertness with which the Sunbird exchanged greetings was a fascinating sight for me. 

The avian world is a communicating world. 

I sometimes wonder if humans exist in a hostile world, where heart level communications do not seem to be a norm. 

The IRAN-ISRAEL-MIDDLE EAST-USA tensions do not seem to settle down. I suspect that the compulsive behaviour of Israel and the USA to dominate and subdue nations that do not fall in line with their territorial aspirations, get attacked and damaged! Whom does the war benefit? 

I wish the current crisis does nor escalate further. 

It is the fifth time the petrol price has gone up in the last one year in India. An economist suggested that we are encountering only the tip of the iceberg of economic distress that we shall soon face! 

How refreshing and comforting it was to watch the Bulbuls and the Sunbird reach out to each other in silent communication! They honour each other with behavioural sanity!

The king Charles during his recent visit to the USA pointed out in a humorous way how peace and harmony are the normal human aspirations! That message awakened the conscience of many, but did not make a difference in the attitude of leaders of that nation!

As I listen to the bird calls in the garden, while writing this, I feel encouraged by the message of goodwill they bring each day to us! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

27 May, 2026

A child's efforts and parenting presence!

 







The beginnings of movements lasting for short spells, lay the foundation for progress and stability for the progress in movements. 

In my experience in child development, such occasions are the inspiring moments for the parents and affirming to children to be consistent in their efforts. 

Parents need patience and hope and children need encouragement and incentives to sustain these efforts. 

Having watched efforts of infants and toddlers to move on in their developmental sequence, I feel within that the instinct of a child to charter his or her developmental progress is conditioned by the opportunities offered to the child. The support of the mother to help this child is evident and facilitatory. 

The nature of the child is to follow the trajectory of development at his or her pace. The nurture needed to make it happen is the parental contribution. 

I recall the stories of parents whom I remember who were sensitive to sense the readiness of a child to move on to the next step in the developmental progression. That anticipatory step often helped a child to move on to the next level of movement, communication, socialisation and exploration. 

The parenting presence is the affirmative environment that infants and toddlers would need in the developmental journey. 

Let me therefore suggest that entertaining a child with cartoons and several other programme on the visual screen in the mobile phone or TV cannot be a substitute during infancy and toddler years. The human interface is what promotes the interactive and communicative ambience upon which the developmental pace is dependent on! 

Let me complement all fathers and mothers who have given utmost attention to promote their child's learning pursuit by their presence and engagement.

When a child is developmentally challenged, the patience of the parents would be tested! Even in such situation, an infant or a toddler would draw encouragement by the augmented efforts of parents! Such an augmented parenting defines the progress a child would make developmentally! 

It is during this week we celebrate the Father's day internationally!

I want to remember all parents who anchor their infants and toddlers into a world of opportunities by their interactive presence! Anna and I greet them in appreciation!


M.C.Mathew(text and photo)