The relational presence of human life !

All the five photographs above from our garden, tell the silent presence of flowers, birds, squirrel and spider, each in different sites in the garden. All of them occupy a space in the garden and live their rhythm each day!

The garden sustains life by giving itself to all those who need its shelter and provision! 

Yesterday, when the Rambutan tree in our front garden was being pruned as it covered the lime bushes, I felt that we were hurting a tree that gave us fruits just a few months ago. And yet the Rambutan tree would restore its foliage shortly with greater vigour! 

I happened to visit a home twice, in the morning and evening, on one day for a practical help. On both occasions, I found the person under the effect of alcohol. I sensed a gloom in the home. 

I felt sad  that the aspiring outlook to life of that young person is drowned in his self-gratifying habit, leaving his two adolescent children and wife in anguish!

Two senior citizens who are members of the local senior citizen's forum invited me to attend their meeting which is held once a month. They told me of the increasing alcohol dependence among younger people, making their homes a in-hospitable place !

I reflected on this contrast! The garden flourishes with its hospitable gift to all. The homes are becoming stressful places because some men have lost the vision of life in the family! 

I wonder whether that is the state of the political leadership of some countries who are in war with other countries! Yesterday the prize of the Apple products of phones were announced in india. They were about thirty percent more than the price in the USA, all because of the increase in the tax tariff imposed by the USA. There are some billionaires who are after establishing Data centres to promote wider use of Artificial Intelligence to become evermore prosperous and they have monopoly to control ! A prominent democratic leader of the USA made an appeal yesterday to have a moratorium on establishing Data centres, as the AI displaces human interface and relationships. 

When I watched the silent events in different parts of our garden, I was moved to discover how we are to cherish life and relationships even more! 

We remain human only as much as we are relational and interdependent! That is the culture of human beings! I hope it remains so!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Using between flights!

I noticed an unusual visitor in our garden yesterday perched in a tall tree. The Google search suggested it to be a juvenile, Shikara. It is closer in complexion to Besra another in the family of Sparrow hawk.

While it was perched in that branch for about ten minutes, it was intently scanning with its eyes the environment. 

Yes, it might have been on a long flight and halted for pause before resuming the flight journey! 

What held my attention was its attentive presence to take in the mood of the environment!

Flying and resting, both purposefully!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Birds live and grow in a garden!

A male Magpie Robin exchanged look and attentive presence to each other in the evening our garden yesterday! I noticed body gestures of romance between them, while perched on two water bath in our garden located four meters apart from each other! 

The male Magpie robin is a tuneful singer and has different songs for different occasions. On this occasion, the silent presence to each other was the language of communication! The seeing eyes and looking intently were the hallmark of this meeting between them!

While this appreciative reciprocal messaging was going on between two Magpie robins, a Tailor bird, likely to be juvenile one, was perched in the nearby bush and making gestures to engage in its melodious bird calls. But except the neck movement upward, there was no song forthcoming! The second photo of the Tailor bird is the usual posture when they sing! 

After the Magpie robins flew away a Bulbul was at the water bowl quenching its thirst leisurely and effortfully. The water Lebel in the bowl was low for it to dip the beers comfortably!

The three scenes in our garden in the late afternoon - two Magpie robins exchanging romantic signals, a Tailor bird attempting to break forth in to singing and a Bulbul quenching its thirst! 

These are routine events in the life of birds! 

It is in a garden the birds find their shelter to live their life experiences! The garden nourishes their life and feeds their needs!

For us humans, our homes are the garden of life! 

I know of a senior professional who spends all the time to be engaged with their children, engaging them during the leisure times,  to make childhood experiences rich and memorable. 

I know of homes where children and parents live their independent lives, who do not meet with each other even during meal times! 

I heard a father narrate to me about the calendar meeting in their home on the first of every month when parents and the two children together plan the joint times of family activities they would have as a family during that month. 

What an integrated form of living when children and parents meet at the heart level to inspire and contribute to each other! 

A home is a garden of life for adults and children to grow together and influence each other formatively!

A sixty year old man told me of the delightful times he could spend with his mother in the kitchen and the fun time of long walks with his father along the stream watching fish in the stream and dragon flies in the field! This family have three adult children who look for every opportunity to be with their parents ! They have a traction towards their parents! A happy childhood creates happy homes for generations!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Sensing the depth from which a person speaks !

 The looking habit!

The Birds at day break seem to look far into the horizon to plan for their flight paths. I feel fascinated by such sights as it speaks of the purposeful behaviour in their routine. 

I noticed that Dulcie too has a habit of focussed looking! Yesterday, seeing this, I asked her questions by stringing words. When I said, 'go out'. she wagged her tail and got up. Out of about seven questions I raised, she responded to one question gesturing her intention in that look! When I took her out, she wandered in the courtyard and turned to me. When I asked, 'go in', she walked back in to the sit out and waited for me to come in! 

This Bulbul above was perched at the feeding station and looking around actively and attentively planning for its next flight lap. Its body language is of action readiness. 

Another Bulbul was  perched in another cable resting its body and staying present to itself ! Its body language is slumber and pause! 

How revealing is the body behaviour of the inner state and perception! 

The body language, facial gestures, the tone of voice and pace in the conversation reveal the inner state of a person! Those trained in counselling skills discern these and respond to people with an awareness of their state of mind! 

How uplifting the conversations can be when we learn to listen not to the words alone but discern the 'mood' of the person whom we listen to! When we feel the inner state of person, we become more in tune with the need of person and can reach the person with words that heal, encourage and affirm. 

Each person we listen to has an inner experience! True listening is to grow in the art of sensing the depth from which a person is speaking! That results in uplifting communication and appreciative relationship!

We are deeper in feeling and experience than what we normally communicate in words. To know a person, we need to go beyond what we hear a person speak bao himself or herself! 

The intuitive dimension of a conversation is knowing a person in his or her depth of being! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The ritual of the evening!

Mynah birds are often well groomed and look aesthetically different from some other birds! 

This Mynah taking about seven minutes to have successive dips in water bath, with the cleaning and drying ritual in between, followed a skilled activity in artistic way.

Such bathing rituals keep them flight ready. 

After drying in the sun, the Mynah looked dazzling and was ready to fly away! 

I have instances of parents talking about the struggle they have in getting toddlers into a rhythm of daily routines and chores! 

I found that when parents are used to reading picture books to infants and toddlers with different sequences of daily routines and chores, they get oriented visually and feel enticed to experience them without struggle! 

The parenting practices become easier when parents use appealing ways of fun, play and interaction. I know of a family who let their daughter play with doll in a bathing exercise, before she is given a bath, which parents found easy and entertaining! 

The journey to become companions and partners with toddlers and pre-schoolers in different activities of interest and value to them, when considered as a pathway of parenting, the parents and children find the experience refreshing and rewarding! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Did hunger cause the strife?

 

Usually all feeding bowls in our garden have food enough for all visiting birds. By evening today, only one bowl had the feed left . 

I wondered if that was the precipitating factor for the strife between the pair of Bulbuls! 

One Bulbul continued feeding and the other had to wait for its turn !

This scene symbolised the hungry children waiting for their food in different parts of India!

There is enough food; but what hurts children with hunger is when food is not shared!

It was a custom for some charitable organisations to have an outlet of food banks. That too is a disappearing concept. 

How disturbing and uncharitable it is , when the those who are hungry are left helpless! They wait in despair!

M.C.Mathew( text and photo)