The one and the many!

 Is one Lily lost in the confluence of the many!

Although the features are common for all the flowers in this collection, I noticed differences in the filaments and shades of colour.

This is a reason for stress for many at work place! Am I just one another person among all the group of nurses, laboratory technologists, ward staff, doctors, etc!

Most people respond to his positively and create their distinct imprint and impart that as a unique contribution to the group. Often such people get noticed and acknowledged.

There are some who make their presence by negative responses: come to work late, disregard good practices, be critical and even foster gossip... 

It is prudent to expect this behaviour from some in any group and avoid giving negative feed backs, which is what they wait for! They then might thrive on the sympathy for having been corrected!

A work place is a complex place. Most places have a hierarchy of supervision. The leading person often gets feed back from those in supervisory role and depend on those opinions. The supervisors are also people who can carry prejudices or incomplete view of the situation. 

Any person in a leading role has to carry a line of communication with every person in spite of the supervisor's feed back. 

This saves a group or an organisation from clusters of like minded people subgrouping and thereby loosing the confluence of the many for a unison spirit!

When people gather at work, they have two orientations- one which is a person's  own work attitude and ethos and the other the existing ambience of relationships and responsibilities at work. It is only when they blend  the work setting is life giving to all. 

As I observe and study this phenomenon, I become even more convinced that a person in a leading role does well if he or she is in a serving role, no matter how much the rest might trivialise it or misuse that style to their advantage!

The cluster of flowers gives a collective appearance, but each flower is still distinct and colourful!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The Rice Field at the end of three months!

Anna and I watched these rice fields golden yellow in the last three weeks! The farmers are getting ready for the harvest tin the next three to four weeks. 

Sowing and harvesting- a rhythm for farmers!

So it is for anyone opus in any work situation. We share our abilities and resources in our work place to turn it into a place of yielding fruits for the benefit of others. 

I have begun to look at the way I worked in my present work place for the last eight years and reflect on what I leave behind as I prepare for my departure. I have many experiences of encouragement to be grateful for!

I have however some concerns which disturb me as I reflect on this experience. As I work in a specialty that engages children with long term needs due to their Neuro-developmental needs, what one needs is a patient and steadfast approach. This suggests that there is greater attention needed to a hosts of situations at home, school, neighbourhood, skill development facilities, job opportunities, etc. I find that changes needed to offer an inclusive approach to children as they grow up are often difficult to create. I do not feel that parents are often in a position of openness to make changes which alone can create a setting to optimise the prospects of developmental support for their children.

If a mother were to take leave from her work to help her child to adapt to the school environment, how would the family manage financially during that period. 

In Sweden, a mother is given an allowance more than her regular salary with job and promotion protection, when a parent decides to take a break to help a child who needs an additional support for a season. 

I am grateful for the institution where I work that it created a facility to offer children and parents a contact point to receive some assistance for their developmentally challenged children. What I was not able to do in the last eight years was to turn it into an integrated facility, with substantial impact on parenting behaviour, modification of school environment, and a home based monitoring of the developmental prospects of children by giving more responsibilities to parents. 

Before I leave this responsibility, I am still hoping that we would be able to offer a Neuro-developmental appraisal plan for parents, so that they become primary care providers to their children and professionals become their support. 

A farmer waits for the harvest!

So also a professional.

I too wait for something substantial to  come out of the efforts of the last eight years. 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Shades of colours!

 

I decided to track a Wag Tail bird for a while in the lawn at the College I work. It preferred to move in the shade, where the natural light varied in that cloudy evening. 

While reviewing the photos I found the same bird in three distinct shades, all because the light conditions differed from place to place. The same bird, in three complexions, all because of variations in the natural light! 

As I thought about tit further, I rallied that the inner optic is like the differing light conditions. Our inner optic gets affected by what we hear, see, read, believe or pursue! Others might suffer because the inner optic sees or hears of feels others from a subjective perception depending on our mood or attitude at that particular time. The inner optic is subject to our emotions, impressions or interpretations. We might even feel towards others differently on different occasions as the inner optic drives us in a particular way each time. 

The inner optic is the light within us. That light can be bright or dim. It is not others who are different on different occasions; we feel that way because our inner optic of perception or interpretations make us view others subjectively. 

Is there a way out of this mental trap we slip into and feel weary of others!

In the edit settings of photos in a soft ware, there is a way we can reset the light conditions to have the effect we want to bring out the natural colours.   

How do we reset our inner optic!

I find reading the Scripture, biographies, life centred reflective books, listening to the stories of others and having conversations to listen and not to interpret as useful ways to make the inner optic hospitable towards others and reset inner orientation to an appreciative mode.

I find myself slipping all the time and unconsciously developing a prejudiced inner optic. 

This is why there is a value in developing regular exercises to audit, debrief and become integrated in thought and deed. Often we do not end up doing what we want to do, but are impulsively controlled to behave contrary to what we would have done, had we been sober!

To pause to hear and respond is one way of training ourselves to hear fully and respond with the words that arise from reflective consciousness. 

In a recent conversation, I responded to what I heard spoken, which became an agitated comment. This unsettled the other person to be even more anxious. I ought to have heard what the other person said at the end of which I could have heard the voice within myself to respond! At the end of the conversation, I remained down cast and anxious, because I responded impulsively rather than meditatively or intuitively. 

Pay attention to the inner optic. It ought to stay independent of what others say or do. The inner optic is an outward expression of our true self or our being! Our being shares the nature of God who is Light within us. 

Another plane of consciousness about self behaviour!

 M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

 

Leaves, Buds and Flowers!

In our garden, there are leaves, buds and  flowers all the time. For most part of the year, the plants have leaves alone. It is during that time they are tended with special care for the season of flowering. 

I find this as a lesson of some significance. 

Life is a garden of people. How much we provide care for others is a question worth pondering over! Do we withdraw because others are discourteous sometimes! Or do we continue to care to the extent it is possible!

While one chooses the second option, live with the awareness that the buds and flowers are not necessarily the outcome all the time. There are some rose plants in our garden which have not flowered during this season as yet. So more attention is given to them.

The work place ambience ought to be helping others to be fruitful. However, it can become a burden when the work place relationships are not spontaneous and reciprocal.

That is when it is important to receive the plants with only leaves just as we receive the plants with flowers. 

To give liberally and care thoughtfully is in our domain; to blossom is in the domain of others! 

I meditate on these thoughts as I am in the stage of summarising the mission that has been upon my heart for the last eight years in the place where I work for a few more months. Have I fulfilled this aspiration! I am not sure if I have done as much as I could have!

I want to grow to receive gladly leaves, buds and flowers in an equal measure of appreciation as all of them are symbols of lives in different stages in our work place, neighbourhood, network of relationships, etc.

To offer a measure of acceptance to all around us is a habit worth pursuing and practising!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Hiding is normal for birds.

I missed both these birds as they were covered by the foliage. It was their movement which helped me to spot them. 

It is the habit of the birds to stay hidden for a while each day. That is how they protect themselves from predators and feel rested from hyper vigilance of the environment.

It is  a desirable habit for humans as well. Stay hidden periodically; silence of words;  hide from visibility; and  stay away from usual communications; attend to inward movements to make sense and find direction ahead; allow others to search for you rather than be on a regular 'giving' mood; attend to use time for personal edification..... and discover another inward depth where meaning and fulfilment exist in the richness of aloneness! 

Such times are formative and reflective seasons. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Bird bath!

The crows have replaced other birds from accessing the bird bath and the feeding bowl in our garden. 

The small birds come occasionally and move away when they sight a crow or squirrel. 

The story of displacement is a common experience for us as well. There is a tendency for humans  to dominate and control. It is the weak and those who still have to embrace the truth and the abundance of  their true self and rest contented in it, who choose the way of  controlling! When you find words pungent, behaviour discordant, attitude forceful and manners without courtesies, it is a call to stay withdrawn from such an environment for a season as too much of such an ambience make relationship one sided and not mutual.  

The small birds have adapted to their displacement. That is the good news- there is something beyond when one feels displaced!

The rhythm of life is to grow in stature and to serve in humility. This in itself is an unsettling experience in an environment where people crave for larger space and usurp what is more than legitimate or for themselves and fair for others.

There are people who are content with little space or feel content to stay in the margins. There re people opposite to this as well. These are divergent paths in social dynamics. The life of a group rests in a third way! To live mindfully of others even while finding one's own space. 

I like watching the Bulbuls at the water bath, as they come and go unlike the crows who stay for too long beyond the time it needs to. Is it to dominate its presence and keep away other birds! It looks like that. But how can one interpret a bird behaviour!  

I face each day with mixed feelings. There are restful times and stressful times. To occupy in the space left for you, without usurping space others need for themselves, is the art of living content.!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A strange sight!

If the above insects are  black and yellow mud dauber, then it is strange to see them on a plant. They are normally found in dry surfaces. They are wasps!

Yes, strange things surprise us. But when strange things happen commonly, either one gets used to them or grow in curiosity!

As there have been some strange experiences of late, I have grown in curiosity, to enquire and find coherence and meaning. 

When I returned to the sight half an hour later, the wasps had disappeared. The strange things might have a meaning. 

Today the farmers in New Delhi took a tractor procession, which turned violent and ugly. It is almost sixty days since they have been protesting and staying in the open under freezing climate.

How is that the government could think that they can be tolerant and patient after such an enduring wait to get a response to their representation!

How is that the farmer leaders could take procession on the Republic Day and expect it to be peaceful when thousands are involved! They are exhausted people, who according to normal human psyche cannot  be rational or behave mindful of the inconvenience they cause to the rest of the civil life!

The government and the farmers, to me behaved strangely leading to the distressing events of today! It happened on the Republic Day! A republic is a civil society 'of the people, by the people and for the people'. I wish that the government and the farmers would see each other as partners in civil freedom and accountability. 

I wish soberness would dawn on both parties soon!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

The first dew covered rose flower, which I noticed the day before yesterday represented the exuberance and fulfilment of how I found the last eight years at my work place. 

The second rose flower which is beautiful, but looks dry early in the winter morning, without dew represents what happened to me today. 

Anna did not appear in the vaccination list which was forwarded by the institution to the district authorities, where she was working until three weeks ago. This was mandatory for her to receive vaccination against COVID 19. Now to get her into the vaccination list is difficult and might take several weeks of waiting until the current list of the beneficiaries are vaccinated. 

Later in the afternoon, I had an unusual experience in the place where I work,which made me feel exasperated. 

I spent revisiting these two experiences most of the evening and kept wondering the way forward!I could not summarise the day peacefully!

It is with a heaviness of heart I started my walk in the morning into the garden. Lo and behold, a flower about to open fully and a bud waiting to open in a rose plant greeted me. I almost missed this sight as this plant was in the extreme corner of the garden. The sight lifted my spirit.

I have a history of many pleasant memories at work of the last eight years, but not a good feeling about the two events of yesterday.  The sight today brought hope amidst a sense of loss and disappointment. 

One's disappointments can come from least expected sources.The disappointment can cause a slide into a valley experience.

While the above is a harsh reality to live with today, the tomorrow can bring encouragement and hope. That is what I felt today, while greeted by two rose flowers in different stages of their flowering!

To live hopefully is an effort, but a habit to aspire for!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

  

Birds on Sunday

 

Among all the pleasant sights, it was a delight to watch the sunbird revisiting its nest, which I thought it had abandoned!

The grey Tit was a new visitor! I saw it gathering hair from Daffny's kennel. So it might be around our cottage am king nest. 

Most mornings are misty which make photography difficult. But spotting and watching the movements of  birds and listening to the bird calls make each morning interesting!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

An abandoned nest!

A nest of a Sunbird family now left deserted!

What caused this to happen! I am puzzled. 

There are times when we too abandon a pursuit of a dream at one particular time!

These occasions of turning points in life are times of loss and gain. 

After about three weeks of bringing the nest to this habitable stage, to abandon it would have been due to a reasonable cause.

There can be several beginnings, but only few would get closer to the state of fulfilment. 

It is important to be ready to begin as that alone is the sign of inward aliveness!

Living springs from an inward pace and hope and therefore is beyond the external determinants. 

To live with peace and purpose would be the desire of most of us! Pursuing it would lead us on!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

Hearing to listen!

The bird call of a Magpie Robin from a distance alerted me. A few seconds later from the roof top of our house another Magpie Robin responded gustily. This bird song between the two birds carried on for a while.

The birdsongs between birds are interesting to watch and hear as the modulations and the frequency of the calls vary. The language of communication is worth observing. 

I look at the same time around the same place each day to look for the same birds. Often they are there. 

The familiarity they develop to each other through the reciprocal bird calls might have something to do with  their mating intent. 

The romantic phase in bird's life is also worth noticing.  I have found this pair in the same place early in the morning for a few days successively this week. 

Looking for birds can be a good hobby as it calls for stillness, patience, measured movements to avoid disturbing the birds and staying alert to capture their changing mood and behaviour in the camera. 

Birds who are possessive of their territorial rights visit the same place everyday at a particular time. In so doing so they allow the space for other birds too. What a generous way of existence!

A good example of social behaviour, mindful of others!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Risk not worth taking!

I was at the fence of our compound watching bird movements. During that half an hour 12 two wheelers passed by on the road below. Only two of them had a helmet on. The majority seemed to undervalue the risk they invite on themselves.  The current traffic rule makes it compulsory for the rider and the pillion to wear helmets.

The worst defiance of public law I recently came across is President Donald Trump's behaviour of publicly denouncing the election result of Joe Biden as the new president. The Trump tantrum led to an insurrection in the Capitol building, killing five people and threatening many law makers in the building! Today president Trump leaves his presidency as one who disgraced presidency and violated the constitutional obligations. 

Why should an ordinary citizen follow the rule of law when the first citizen of the USA violates his oath of allegiance to the constitution and still justifies himself even after the second impeachment. Is it not a pathological behaviour! 

All aberrant behaviour springs from the self projection of being beyond the law!

All the bikers whom I saw today without helmets and President Trump are alike in attitude to life and personal accountability as citizens! They bring disgrace to humanity. 

M.C.Mathew(text nd photo)

COVID Vaccination!

I received the first dose of the vaccine against COVID 19 on last Saturday and the second dose is due in February.  

I feel that there was so much talk about it being made a, voluntary choice that even the health care workers have hesitation to accept the vaccination. There is a high percentage of drop out. 

The Oxford vaccine that is currently administered in our institution has a better reputation as being efficacious. I wonder whey the health workers are hesitant to accept it!

We waited for the vaccine. Now that it is available, I feel that the push to make it acceptable is not enough!

COVID 19 deranged normalcy. Let us not stay as a victim to COVID 19, when the vaccine with other personal protection measures can bring us back to our usual rhythm!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Flowers on a table!

We can let flowers droop and fall off in the garden or have them on a vase to prolong their life!

Flowers remain fragile but fragrant and fresh for a while. 

Their transitoriness is a symbol to us. 

They give us a mission to live for. Flowers bring completeness to an occasion, whether it is a wedding, funeral, birthday, anniversary, meeting, etc.

We are reminded of the transitoriness of life, but the abundance of aroma as long as they are fresh and fragrant. 

Life is to be lived like that. How terrible it is if 'salt has lost its saltiness'!

I often think about the aroma of life! Life is to be lived as an offering to others and not as an indulgence in acquisition or possession of everything that shall soon fade away.  

The other day, when I spilled hot milk on my leg and blistered a large area on my one leg, I it became another source of pain, apart from the multiple joints which remained painful for a while now. For older person pain becomes a companion. One was resist it or welcome it and develop a conversation with one's body.

Fragile flower and fragile body! But both can bring fragrance to others. The decay or pain shall not threaten or diminish this function. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 

Telling the story of a teacher!

Anna and I received the above gift this week, from a friend whom we got to know recently. It touched us and reminded us of our vocation! It came at a time when Anna relinquished her role in the MOSC Medical College recently where, she worked for eight years after her time at CMC Vellore and PIMS Pondicherry.

When we heard that this piece of exquisite art work was handcrafted by a student in a college, who does this as a hobby, it made this gift even more special. We were moved when we fond out that this friend thought of us to find this gift for us. 

Anna and I looked back over our thirty five years of life in Medical Colleges and pondered over the statement in this art work. We remembered our teachers who fulfilled this mission as teachers. 

I remember Prof C.U.Velmurugendran, under whom I had a privilege of doing my doctoral studies, who showed me the way but left me to make my assumptions. Anna and I feel grateful to Prof Frank Garlick of CMC Vellore, who was a pointer to the vocation in the practice of medicine but left us to discover our calling!

Dr Susan George, a multifaceted paediatrician, began her academic work in bio-medical engineering with a well earned PhD and went on to train herself in child Neurology, engaging herself in childhood rehabilitation work in Nepal, while living in Britain. Now married and getting ready to migrate to the USA is a gifted a person, who reminds me of a person, who finds teachers to mentor her and yet moves on to fulfil her inner aspirations. 

Teacher-student relationships are nor definable. What can be defined is teaching-learning takes place only when this relationship is qualified by freedom with no boundaries for exploration of  the fund of knowledge. Let not a teacher engage students to conform them to his her orientation to life, but invest in them to lead them on a path of their inclinations in academic and service roles. 

It is the community of students who contribute to make someone a teacher. In that sense students are formative in mission in the life of a teacher. It is not the teaching that is at the heart of this relationship, but sharing life experiences through which students and teachers become co-learners. It is this which dissolves the boundary between a teacher and student.

A gift I received as a teacher which touched me as much as this gift of this art work this week was, when a group of students came to our home one evening in 1999, while living at CMC Vellore and told Anna and me that they would like to come to 'chat' with us on Fridays. And a group came almost every week which became the Friday Forum conversation times. The students presented themselves to us as those who valued our friendship and conversations. 

We resumed this on Friday evening conversation time a few months back when few log in from different places in India to explore the theme of Life, Living and Learning.  

Show where to look and leave the rest for the learners to see! What a mission! It is  inspirational and directional! 

Anna and I feel grateful to our friend who thought of blessing us with this gift of a profound mission statement for a teacher.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)  

Returning to our formative times!

I chose all the rose buds with a damage caused by an insect for this blog. In the last photo there is an insect clearly visible resting on the petal about to open.

The three pictures  below are of  flowers whose buds were damaged by insects. The edges of the petals were already eaten away by insects. 

On a single day, three of the six on-line consultations were of adolescent children. 

One family mentioned that they were not able to spend enough time with their son during the last two years as they were occupied with building their house. He is now into internet surfing whenever possible and does not want to return to school. 

Another teenager is reacting and is oppositional as it was their habit to make him comply in the earlier years by forcing or punishing. She locks herself in her room sometimes refusing to come out of late and chooses to be oppositional!

A third teenager is exceptionally gifted, with high scores in the tests in the class but is quarrelsome. His mother has many commitments at home and his father has not been available enough to help him. He behaves in a threatening way sometimes. 

All the three children had a traumatic early childhood, starting from five years or earlier. The traumatic experiences consisted of being left to fend for themselves, punishing to correct them or denying them an experience of bonding to the family by neglecting to attend to them. 

Now the families are at a cross road, and not being able to choose wisely to redeem the situation by modifying the home environment and getting regular professional help to find a way forward. 

I have found this experience distressing. All the three families are families who have all the resources at their command to make the home a welcome place for children, but held back by their preoccupations.

I have discovered that the first five years are crucial and decide the temperament and conduct of children during their teenage years. 

I prepare myself to retire from my professional responsibilities shortly. As I look back at the formative culture in the department, I find that the season when I gave attention to each person  in the last eight years, the atmosphere was cordial, collaborative and creative. There were short spells in between when I have had to cope with personal difficulties due to illness or not being able to move forward in the development of the facilities of the department due to limitation of financials resources. Such times my attention to accompany each person was less consistent. During the prolonged eight months due to the COVID 19, the department functioned in shifts with only half of the professionals working at one time and offering only on-line consultations or developmental support to children. I can feel how the ambience in the department is 'cold and distant'. 

The 'locusts' of inattention, distance, hurried pace, pre-occupation, etc can affect the personal behaviour at home or in work place. 

I am even more aware now that it is not in blaming others we would restore a difficult situation but making personal amends in attitudes and creating time for others to support and upbuild each person. 

It is the tiny insects who eat away the petals. What distracts or damages relationships are small irritants, which might escape attention or identification. 

I feel that the instinct to succeed or accomplish is a driving force in most of us. More so now as the circumstances we live and work are more challenging with competition and high demands in performing.

For parents, let parenting be a commitment. For professionals in leading roles, let formative development of the team be  a calling!

I noticed that most of the buds in the garden during the last one month did suffer from attack from insects. It was one season when Anna or I were preoccupied with some other concerns.  

We suffer and make others suffer when we take our eyes away from watchful accompaniment of people who are committed to our care!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)