Arriving at the Tenth year!

The first day in the Tenth year of the Developmental Paediatrics department on 14th September began with a time of greetings, singing and prayer time. At Lunch time we gathered again for cutting the cake and singing to share in the joy of arriving into the tenth year. 

It was a regular day with children coming for consultation and developmental support. However we took time to visit different departments to greet them with thank you cards and cake. We felt received and encouraged by the cordial response to our gestures of gratefulness for all what we receive from various departments.  We heavily depend on the services the Medical Records, EEG laboratory, front office, Main laboratory, and maintenance section provide. We feel supported by the good will of many others who reach out to us generously when we need their assistance. 

The nine years have been well spent in our search to find the path for Developmental Paediatrics services in MOSC Medical College. 

Now, we look forward to the tenth year. With the Paediatrics department developing child neurology services under leadership of Dr Verghese, who returned after his fellowship training in Paediatric Neurology, we feel freed to explore more possibilities in Developmental Paediatrics.

The publication, 'Into the Tenth Year' a reflection on our path finding journey thus far, which was published yesterday, the summarises the memories of experiences we have had thus far. We recall gratefully, the support of the MOSC Medical Mission, Synthite Industries and ASHIRVAD Christian Concern for Child Care. We remember all the former professionals fondly, who contributed to make our services to be what they are now. 

We remind ourselves us of an opportunity to move on into a responsible year of innovating and adapting to the new opportunities that await us. The COVID season is still with us. We continue to look for opportunities to fill a void parents and children feel in not having the usual support! The play group remains suspended. All group interactions in the Early Learning Centre and Learning Support Centre too are suspended.  

We feel inspired by this call to move on! We look forward to the coming year!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A plant and flower!

 

A plant receives attention and it gives a flower in due season. 

The plant in the photo above looks special with water drops and dew on its leaves. It is a glorious sight at dawn in the morning sun.

The rose flower too is spectacular to watch, because someone cared to look after the plant which gives this flower. 

A child is adorable what ever might be the age of the child! However for him or her to be flowering in life, parents and others around him or her ought to be nurturing, guiding and mentoring!

It is this that is at stake in many homes. Some children arrive when parents were not ready. Some children grow up when parents are struggling to balance between demands of work place and home. Some others are born into situations of stress where families go through conflicts. Some children are left behind to be cared by grandparents when they work in distant places. There are parents who find children too demanding or unsettling that the warmth in relationships is only episodic. In some instances children need extra help and specialised support on account of developmental needs. 

Yesterday, when I heard the story of a two year old child, who developed Status Epilepticus as the family did not have money to buy medicines for treating the seizure disorder, I felt alarmed and sorrowful. To see that child with multiple complications told me another story of our health care system. It is those who are well financially who can be secure to access health care.

That was yet another instance during the week, of listening to parents of the multiple hostile situations that children have to overcome to grow up to be flowering and flourishing.

This resounded in my mind thorough the day. Whose side are we! Am I on the side fo children! The logo of ASHIRVAD was 'Taking sides', which Anna and I pursued as our mission for the last thirty eight years. 

I drove home at the end of the day, remembering the scene of this child referred above, lying alone in the bed, half clothed, with frequent involuntary movements, limited sight, and in a state of altered consciousness. The mother stood at the corner of the bed bereft and speechless. There was sorrow in her voice. She herself looked short and undernourished. Her husband was somewhere working! I wondered whether she was starving till her husband returned!She knew on local language to communicate.

As I watch and hear the stories of 'withering plants' unfold before me, due to parental neglect or compulsions of circumstances, I feel even more compelled by the calling to 'Take Sides' of children, who live reduced lives and are denied from flowering and flourishing!

I felt yesterday, similar to what Anna and I felt in 1981, when we felt bereft at the home call of our daughter, which opened our eyes to new realities of needs of children! That was when the call to be mindful of developmentally needy children became clear to us!

Thirty seven years are abetting us! I still find that parenting is a struggle for many families and many of them feel unsupported!

I wonder whether there is a 'call within a call' to be more engaged in preparing families for parenting of children to make them flower!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Formation of Children !

I watched this Lilly in our garden for about a week since the time I noticed the stalk of flower it was to give forth! 

I found it informative and instructive about the resident potential in that plant to give forth a bunch of flowers. 

It was about three months back a bulb was planted in the soil. Our domestic helper since then would have attended to the plant by de-weeding, manuring and watering which provided the optimum conditions for this plant to grow into its trajectory.

I noticed dragon flies and honey bees resting on the buds almost every day waiting for the flowers to open. 

Today when all the four flowers opened, I was delighted because it was the day when the plant revealed its full elegance, so far hidden from sight!

I remembered about the book 'Parenting you child' which Anna and I co-authored with Ms Beulah Wood in 1998, which is still in circulation through Amazon. 

It was a during a week end of two days, that book was dictated which Ms Beulah Wood transcribed to create the first impressions that Anna and I had about parenting. Our children were teenagers at that time and we had reservations about being affirmative about our thoughts about parenting. We had suffered the death of our daughter and our children had by them moved in a formative way to find the direction and vocation in their lives. They did have set backs, but were resilient and consistent to find their purpose. We celebrate their childhood even more now, as we see them unfold as mature men, loving spouses, caring fathers and thoughtful sons, living their vocation in the frontiers of human need practicing medicine. 

What did we know about their hidden strengths, capacities, and values then! A lot, but not enough to envision their future!

The first thought that passed through my mind, as I watched the closet buds of the four flowers in the Lilly,  was this consciousness that children surprise us because they outgrow parents when they reach their adulthood. They move in to a new orbit of thoughts, perspectives, pursuits and an altruistic view of life, which would be well beyond the expectations that parents would ever had.  

I struggle a lot as I listen to parents, who have limited formative thoughts about their children, but live adherent to the prescriptive patterns for their children, often repeating the restrictive patterns under which they grew up.  

A father who is struggling with his son's drift towards watching serials in the TV confessed to me that he himself watched one or two serials every night after he household  has gone to sleep.  

As I heard this conflict in one home, I found yet another stress under which parents grow up! The parent's gravitation towards seeking fulfilment for themselves without shifting their orientation towards children, when teenagers long to lean on to parents for their formative perspectives to life.

The father seeks entertainment and the son follows suit. In a conversation, I drew attention of the father about taking up a project with his outstandingly able son, to help children in the neighbourhood in conversational English. Since they started on this project both son and father are involved in planning the class in the evening and making videos for children to make the teenager group to  hear conversational style in English. They spend time together to listen to the video recording they did of the group in the previous evening, during the group discussion, to get ready to give feed back on diction, semantics, word use, sentence style, listening skills, idiomatic usage, etc. 

For about two weeks, they have forgotten about the serials.  The father mentioned to me that he  discovered some new attributes in his son. His son became more adorable and trustable. 

This reminds me of the need for parents to discover the hidden resources in their children. How limiting it would be if parents do not catch up their children and stay oblivious of what they are becoming in their skills, thoughts and aspirations!

The formation of children starts with parents becoming companions to their children and lernmqign to partner with their children seeking a common interest!

I feel inclined to start an on-line discussion on Saturday afternoons to explore 'parenting preparation' for parents anticipating a child birth and for parents who have a newborn, toddler, preschool child, early school going child, child in late childhood, preteen child, etc. 

To know about ourselves is the first step in the direction of knowing about our children!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)