On the eve of retirement!

Two trainee doctors who had a short time in the department where I work, came calling to share their thoughts and experiences of the time they spent in the department, hearing that I was due to retire today! It surprised me beyond measure! It was late in the evening, at the end of a day of consultations. There were conversations of farewell with parents, some of which were difficult as it was a closure of ten years of association with some families. 

Their visit lifted my spirit. They talked about the experiences they had and memories they carry with them. I felt overwhelmed by their thoughtfulness to share good wishes and bring greetings. How refreshing it is when we receive such warm expressions of kindness!

I had another moving occasion yesterday of meeting with colleagues in the department, when they took time to recollect the events and happenings of the last ten years. They covered me with their grateful memories. 

Anna and I felt that we needed to hand over furniture, child development equipment, toys and books  that we used in the department, owned by ASHIRVAD to be formally handed over to MOSC Medical College inventory, which was also done yesterday. I was able to bring back home, some furniture which had a symbolic meaning associated with them. 

I felt that the day was full of recollections of memories that went back to forty years, when Anna and I started with ASHIRVAD  Child Development Centre at Chennai on November 14, 1983. 

I leave today after ten years at MOSC Medical College, after having been engaged in beginning the Child Development service, the fourth of such experiences in the last forty years!

I feel full and content from what I witnessed over the over the last ten years. 

The families and children showed me the way to develop services which were family friendly  and the professional colleagues made a formative contribution to my understanding of the new frontier in this specialty! 

I bow in gratitude before all who made this journey fulfilling and purposeful!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

After the rain!

 

Following a downpour of windy rain in our garden, I noticed yesterday, birds grooming to get ready for their flight. With the body soaked in water, most birds would dry them by shaking the water off their body and wings and re-oil them by smearing the body balm which they produce in their endocrine system.

It was while watching this grooming activity of the birds above, it occurred to me that I will be leaving from my current work tomorrow after 10 years and 9 months. I have been through highlighting and enduring experiences during this period. I too need movement readiness as I look forward to the years ahead!

What does a work place experience leaves us with! Many happy memories and fulfilling recollections along with bruises and wounds that have been part of relating to people and situations. It is true for me as well!

What would personal debriefing involve to make oneself movement ready!

There are five thoughts that came to me while watching these birds. 

Take shelter in a safe place to find  time for oneself !

Feel the experiences that have affected positively and disturbingly!

Recall the learning and inspiring steps arising out of each of those situations!

Remember those who were companions and forgive those on account of whom one endured trying times.

Begin the next movement with a longing to do good and live mindfully of others!

Every time one moves from one situation to another, there is the stress of transition. The humans have a tendency to look ahead and stay anxious of what might happen tomorrow. What is more relevant is to live in the present and find each day as an opportunity to be oneself!

To be oneself in that sense is to feel content and grateful for what has been possible and lessen the demands we make on ourself. The compelling and success driven aspiration might overtake us. That is when it is necessary to feel the wellness that can come to us by feeling sufficient in what has been given and possible. 

I saw this in a five years old child two days ago. He needed just one toy from the shelf even though his mother kept offering him more! The joy of being content with little!

So I too have begun my debriefing time to feel content with the last ten years and move forward with an optic of hope and cheer!

To stay movement ready, one ought to be well in body, mind and spirit!

All the above thoughts are a tribute to the birds, who showed me the art and rhythm of re-grooming to be flight ready, after having been drenched in rain! 

Personal debriefing is therefore is the way towards staying well and movement ready!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A message for the season!

 

There are some unusually awakening captions in the T-shirts children wear. I came across the one above a few days back. 

The double message is captivating: Believe in yourself and Aliens !

The first phrase is in bolder letters and the second phrase is in smaller letters. 

That itself is a contrasting message. 

If one can trust in one's pursuit of purpose in life, the enemies become smaller in strength and influence. 

For me it was a timely message. 

As I prepare for the retirement from the current work two days from now, this message was hope giving. While being engaged passionately and decisively in pursuing a purpose, the difficulties and challenges would get subsumed. The tendency is to foresee the difficulties larger than what they truly are! The message above is to downsize the difficulties and see the purpose and path ahead of as an opportunity with all possibilities. 

I took a tour today through the three facilities associated with the work I was involved in for ten years. Each of the facility was designed and created for children with neuro-developmental needs. The rooms aesthetically designed and well furnished to promote different child developmental pursuits of children were custom built! As I prepare to take leave of them, my memories were flooded with stories of their beginning and people behind each of the three facilities. 

I came into an institution in 2012, when it was ready to start a new initiative in child development. I leave uncertain of the direction it would take in the years to come! 

I can be preoccupied with fear about the future  or  leave with a sense of gratefulness and celebration for what has been possible in the last ten years. 

It is a time of remembering and cherishing the last ten years! That is what I was reminded to do, when I read  the caption on the T-shirt a child was wearing!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A momentous occasion!

A family visited us yesterday, at my work place at Developmental Paediatrics department,  MOSC Medical College from Ireland. They have been regularly in touch with us from the toddler stage  of their son. They migrated to Ireland and reached out to us with their gifts for supporting children who needed concessional treatment. 

When they arrived to greet me on the occasion of my retirement on 30th June, 2023, it became a celebration occasion for all us. They touched us by their kind gesture of remembering and caring to greet to express their gratefulness. 

What a delight it was to greet their son, who studies in the sixth grade, and is developing his diverse interests. He sings and plays the guitar and is about to appear for the Trinity College of music examination shortly. He has advanced into skilled swimming to be in competition. His interests in reading, drawing and exploring the environment keep him growing and enlarging!

After their visit, we recalled his beginning with us for finding a direction for his developmental prospects. His parents became his ardent supporters to promote every interest and ability he seemed to indicate in the early years. He had some challenges to overcome. The resilient spirit of his parents and the endeavouring attitude of their son brought them this laurel. 

Their example stands out as a demonstration of believing to pursue developmental remedy, in spite of the initial discouragement with which the family first approached us.  It took a while for the family to see the brighter side of the developmental prospects of their son. Once they sensed that, they moved on making their home a place of flourishing for their son. 

After having been involved in supporting parents for child development for forty years, this visit, three days before my retirement meant a lot to me. As far as I remember, it was the first family who came exclusively to express their gratefulness. There were many others, who expressed gratitude at the end of a consultation. This family did not need a consultation or sought it as their child is making strides on his own. It is a message, that if professionals were to genuinely pursue after enabling parents, they become en-powered to find their own way! That is how professionals can find themselves out of a trap of feeling wanted and long for it!

Late Professor David Morley once told me: 'Make it your ambition to enable parents to make them  feel independent and self sufficient'! I felt reminded of this call, when the above family visited us! 

When I was retiring home around 8 pm yesterday, what enveloped me was the joyful experience of having been a joint pathfinders for many children along with parents. 

Some pathfinding process had to be pursued amidst considerable resistance. One was the issue of offering to treat pharmacologically, preschool children with Cortical Electrical Dysfunction even when they did not have clinical seizures. This one step based on objective clinical criteria, brought remarkable outcome in improving attention, sleep behaviour, language advancement and preschool skills in about 320 children in the last ten years. The clinical pursuit of this area of understanding the Cortical Electrical Rhythm in pre-school children started in 1997 while beginning the Developmental Paediatrics Unit at Christian Medical College,  Vellore. I faced resistance from other Neurologists, Paediatricians, parents and child development specialists in suggesting that Cortical Electrical Dysfunction in some pre-school children needed pharmacological intervention. 

What anchored me during this difficult time of the last 26 years to pursue after treaingt pre-school children with Cortical Electrical Dysfunction if they fulfilled the criteria, was my experience, arising out of training in Developmental Neurology at the Institute of Neurology, Madras Medical College, from 1993-1996. It was an instructive experience to be in the company of fifteen adult Neurologists, two Paediatric Neurologists and a Developmental Psychologist. At every step of my clinical formation in neurology and the formal research on Minor Neurological Dysfunction in pre-school children, I received input of clarification and enhancement of thinking, beyond what I cloud find in existing literature at that time, from these teachers in Neurology and Psychology. Let me dedicate in gratitude this insight and discovery,  of offering pharmacological treatment protocol for Cortical Electrical Dysfunction in pre-school children, to all those who provided me the formative support at the Institute of Neurology. 

I have a growing grateful sense within me. I did not choose to be in the specialty of Child Development. I was at the threshold of entering into Paediatric cardiology training. With arrival of our daughter Anita and her departure at three months in 1981, the storm created in our lives took time to move away. What the storm brought to our attention was an awareness about the neuro-developmentally needy children!

Here I am ending my clinical sojourn on 30th June 2023 in the specialty of Child Development! What moves me and Anna is all that we have been given for which we did not go after!

I leave gratefully because families such as in this blog gave us an opportunity to be involved with them, out of which came new understanding and perspectives in Child Development!

We have been given!

We feel touched by the gift of trust, that parents have had in our approach to child Development!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A distress call!

I notice that some birds are in distress when it is cloudy and threatens to be windy and raining! 

I noticed this Kingfisher perched on a tall tree in our front gardena and giving away loud bird calls yesterday. At dawn when the morning light was faint, I spotted this bird in an unusual fretful behaviour by changing its posture and direction of gaze frequently. It arrived on the tree with loud bird calls which is what alerted me to go out from the study, when it was drizzling! The repeated bird calls did arouse within me a suspicion of some distress it was experiencing! There was a cacophony of sounds around our cottage at that time when other birds also joined in its chorus!

Later in the day, I came across  a family of elderly parents arriving with their five years old son for consultation over his delay in language skills and communication. As soon he spotted me sitting on a low table, he went into a frenzy insisting to go out of the room. His father restrained him but he could not be consoled.  Having known about this background, I realised that for about three yers he has had such behaviours, for which he has been on different modes of treatment. 

When he quietened and appeared to be comfortable I approached him for a clinical examination, when his resistance grew to an alarming proportion, during which time he kicked, scratched and attempted to bite me. He could not be restrained and went into prolonged spell of screaming and forcing himself to escape from the restraining grip of his father. 

Having been used to similar behaviours in pre-school children, arising out of phobia of strangers or new place or setting, I did not proceed to examine him and allowed him to settle down. He picked up a toy which was a  model of elephant, and sat down to play with it. He stroked and and made sounds. To me that was a surprise. How could he look so friendly towards an elephant! It occurred to me that some children who watch cartoons regularly would pick up some symbols for themselves! His disproportionate strength to escape the tight restraining grip of  the father would have come from fantasising to be strong like an elephant!

The imageries of childhood can have favourable and unfavourable influence on them. The example of this child was living with unfavourable influence. 

In a subsequent conversation with the family I realised that this boy had a traction towards toys such as JCB, Lion, Oil tanker, etc, all being symbols of strength and power! 

I wondered if the symbols we adore can become metaphors of our behaviour!

I remember the book, The Name of God is Mercy, by Pope Francis, where he expounds on the theme of mercy based on the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth in the Sermon on the Mount. 

Let me quote from his words:  "Mercy is the divine attitude that embraces, it is God's self-giving that welcomes, that leans down to forgive"!

I was challenged to be kind and thoughtful towards this boy and his parents as they faced a terrible situation in that child. That child did have an obsessive behaviour disorder arising out of the inner complexities and contradictions that he lives with. The parents too have a broken spirit and a wounded psyche! The child and his parents are suffering and searching for respite!

I close my forty years of professional work this week! This encounter with a Kingfisher and a child with their distressing 'calls' stopped me to ponder, while attending to the scratches that were bleeding! That little physical pain was a glimpse of the enormous emotional pain the child and the parents carry within. 

What moved me amidst this difficult encounter was the way Rainu, Liya, Shalini and Shantha reached out to comfort and care! That was gift of love!

I suspect that mercifulness is a vanishing inner orientation of health care professionals! During a recent public meeting of the doctors, arranged by its professionals body, I heard an appeal from the leadership to protect the right of doctors. I was longing to hear the language of mindfulness, kindness, mercifulness towards those who suffer!

Let me conclude! In  the cry of a pre-school child, I wonder whether I failed sometimes to feel the concealed pain of the child!  I would have on some occasions inadvertently branded a child as insistent, naughty, demanding or misbehaving! 

I find some parents equally overcome by their preoccupations and showing little inner space to feel for their children!

The specialty of Developmental Paediatrics is to be a home for those in distress,  to whom the professionals show mercifulness! 

To me, that is an awareness that grows within me, as I close forty years of my service in this specialty!

M.C.Marthew(text and photo)

Fruits for garden visitors !

There are fruits that birds, squirrels, and ants find in our garden before we reach them! So some fruits are theirs by right of being resident in the garden!

The news of elephants coming to banana plantations, or pigs digging to feed on the tapioca or other wild animals coming to places of human habitations is common in the areas, where people live at the edge of forested land. Those animals assert their right to find food and water by migrating when the forest no more offers them food and water. 

The eco-system we live in calls for space for birds to survive. With high rise buildings occupying the wet lands and mini forests the water birds and avians are at a loss. They require he cover of bushes and trees to survive. To deny them that right is most unfortunate. 

We have learned during the last ten years since we live in our cottage, that feathery friends need their space and food. It gave us a new outlook to gardening. We have now plants and trees which can attract bees, butterflies and birds for their habitat! We are careful to protect the garden from rats and snakes, because they add to risk to our movements!

Learning to make a garden hospitable to all visitors!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The Three movements !

I noticed a web in our courtyard this morning and I decided to take time to watch the spider's movements. But my intention got disturbed by a short spell of rain. 

After the rain the web looked even more elegant with water drops making the strands more impressive to look at. 

The three movements I noticed in the spider were the following:

1. Centering 

It stayed in the centre of the web more time than it did anything else. If it moved it returned to the centre shortly thereafter. It remained still and restful while at the centre of the web.

2. Working

It moved from the centre to the edge and created new strands of web to reach the edge from the centre. It had a plan. It weaved the web both at the centre and and edge alternately, a clever way to keep the tension and shape in tact. 

3. Resting

After the movement between the centre and the edge, there were short spells it rested with its body in a crawled up position. 

During the half an hour I was able to watch these movements I got a glimpse of the rhythm of life that a spider follows. 

It makes its home in the centre of the web and this centering process is to preserve its wellness. To return to our centre would mean to experience interiority, free from the pressure and preoccupations associated with existential realities. It is one way of letting go in order to stay quiet to listen to the voice from within, experience serenity where God makes His presence known to us. 

Working is an activity of involvement and engagement purposefully and proactively. Any work we do, when done with a design and plan would make the outcome a mission. 

Resting is also an activity consisting of personal debriefing and recovery. Every form of work consumes us in one way or another. Therefore rest transcends sleeping or doing leisurely activities or engaging in hobbies. Resting is an exercise of staying content with what has been done or was possible and preparing to take the next step volitionally. Work is not for self-promotion but doing good to others. 

I found this exercise of reflecting on what a spider does during weaving its web, a meditative experience. The spider did all of its work silently but decisively. The way to work is not by inviting attention, in the hope of getting publicity and appreciation, but quietly and hidden from too much of visibility. Work looses its charm and grace when we intently do it hoping for recognition and adulation. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

A squirrel finds its feed!

Anna and I watched the above sight of Rambutan shells open with its pulp missing, while we were plucking the fruits. We knew then that squirrels in our garden were feeding on the fruit.  

Today being Sunday, I felt inclined to stay near a tree in the morning, looking out for squirrels to come searching for the morning feed. I noticed one squirrel smelling and feeling a fruit and moving away to another bunch! 

When it found a ripe fruit, it took about three minutes to shell the fruit and to get it in its mouth. As it was drizzling, I needed to protect the camera from getting wet. I therefore missed a close up view of the shelling of the fruit.

The squirrel managed to get the fruit between its paws and settled to relish it. It turned the pulp with its paws and took small bites to gulp them with ease and pleasure. 

 

Finally, when it had enough of the juicy fruit, it left the seed behind and moved on to its next climbing expedition of the day. 

It was the first time I was able to watch the full process that a squirrel follows to shell the Rambutan and eat of its fruit inside. 

The ingenuity of the squirrel from the very start caught my attention. It knew which fruit was ripe. It used the hand-mouth skills precisely and dextrously. I didi not drop any of the pulp. It took small bias and paused to take the next. It did all of this tidily and swiftly. 

I wish parents would capture such sights isn their gardens and get the phots of such live demonstrations of exercising skills and planning of birds, squirrels, etc. 

What benefit do pre-school children get by watching cartoons and other entertainments on the TV or mobile. Such programme actually dull their social and language consciousness and  social skills. 

Instead, if families can captures such live sights in nature, how much more children would become observant, curious and engaging of all that happen around them in nature!

What I saw this morning was more than entertainment- it was a vivid realisation of the heightened level of abilities of survival that every species is endowed with!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Becoming open for others!

 

The banana flower opens and gives nectar to birds and banana to humans. 

When we open up ourselves to others, do we leave abundance of goodwill and encouragement!

I have pondered over it in the last few days!

Do I open up to complain, criticise, judge or gossip! Or do I pay attention to my speech for it to become pleasant in the listener's ears!

What manner of giving do I practice! Giving mindfully, to bless and prosper others!

I stay with these questions as I prepare myself to leave my place of work this weekend on retirement!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Foster group 2013-2023

The get together of the foster group of friends yesterday, brought us together to feel grateful for the opportunity of having been together, on various occasions during the last ten years! 

The picture of Rejit talking to Samuel in the last photo, is a reminder of how it all began. It was Rejit who introduced to Anna and myself the idea of connecting with students and faculty at the MOSC Medical College, when we joined it in September 2012. That is how the staff-student Badminton matches became an annual festive season, organised by the department where I work, for a few years. The coming together of students naturally created a forum to have get togethers, which brought closer contact with some students.  Thomas, Rhea, Caren and Anjali spent a month in the department after the final year examination before starting internship. Samuel used his holiday time to get familiar with clinical work in the department. The students came forward to get the Family Resource Centre, Early Learning Centre and the Learning Resource Centre ready by decorating and organising the place. 

For Anna and myself, the ten years of association with the students gave us an opportunity to see all of them move on in life, choosing their path and flourishing in what they do. 

Although we encouraged the faculty at the college to have small groups attached to them for enabling the formative process in the vocation of practice of medicine, it is yet to become culture of the institution towards student nurture. We feel grateful to Dr Radhakrishnan and Dr Rex, the former Deans of the institution, who encouraged us to pursue this. 

Being in touch with students in an informal setting, gave us an introduction to the demands and perspectives that come upon them to shape their choices and directions. 

The vocation of service is less evident and not necessarily emphasised in the teaching and practice of medicine! This is a disturbing thought. 

A family who came to visit yesterday form Singapore, to discuss about their five years old son, who was struggling in developing his communication skills, told me something that gave me an insight into the contemporary thought in the practice of medicine. The protocol of practice of medicine in existence in some countries, makes a person adhere to the system and fall in line with what is offered as Standard Operating Practice. So this family had to wait for one year to get an appointment with a specialist in Singapore. The Private consultations are prohibitively expensive. A person with a health care need is a 'client'! The system is not flexible enough to sense the needs and accordingly respond! The health care professionals feel comfortable with this approach! At the end of the seventy minute conversation this family said, 'we feel that we can survive till the next visit, as we had this occasion for conversation'. What families need are conversation times, which is often insufficient in a ten minute consultation!

I wonder, whether the students in training in medicine would feel the calling to be conversation companions to patients who seek health care advice!

That is the message we want to leave with our foster group, as we say farewell to them with Anna and me ceasing to be members of the faculty at the college from 30th June 2023!

We shall treasure the happy memories and hope that life would bring abundance of joyful experiences to all the fosters, that we have known during the last ten years!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)