One delightful experience during my morning walks while on a holiday was to receive the welcome presence of flowers in the garden on one side of the pedestrian walk. The flowers above open and appear to look downward.
However the flower below appeared to look upward while the bud turned into a flower.
As I took the same path each day, during one week, I had an opportunity to observe the ageing process of this flower. At the end of a week, I noticed that the flower began to shed the filaments in the centre of the flower into the receiving bowl of one of the petals.
At the end of a week, the flower looked fresh but the filaments in the centre were dropping off, most of which fell into the receptacle of one of the petals. They filaments stayed in the petal till a wind emptied the collection from the petals on to the ground.
While this was going on for a week, another bud had appeared alongside and I presume it too would have a similar history of opening and shedding its central filaments in to the receiving petals of flower during its ageing process.
I felt intrigued by this phenomenon, a flower becoming its own companion! One part of the flower receiving the support from another part of the flower!
It was while pondering on this feature, it occurred to me that as humans we too can become companions to ourselves. We seek for friendships, partnerships and relationships with others. They are essential for our development and formation.
But becoming a friend of oneself, means we receive what goes on within us and what come upon us graciously and empathetically. while it is necessary to be objective and be creatively critical of our conduct and behaviour, there is a larger self development function of receiving ourselves as we are.
I met a post graduate nurse, who is a mother and a home maker along with her husband recently. She accepted her role as a wife and mother and spent the last fifteen years in that role. The radiance in her face and the gracefulness in her conversation made me wonder about her inner fortitude while she had to cope with a prolonged illness of her son. Her husband gave her space to talk and blessed her with his attention to what she was speaking and nodding to affirm and acknowledge her. The climax of her conversation was, when she said, 'I take time each day to stay still and ponder on who I am becoming'!
I felt blessed by such an attitude of receiving herself!
It was because she valued her life and treasured her experiences, she took time each day to ponder over her daily life and affirm herself of her vocation!
Receiving oneself is an act of becoming intimate to ourself!
This intimacy grows when we remember the experiences, people and events which made us what we are gratefully and lovingly!
Our disappointments, hurts and doubts also get included in this conscious acceptance of ourselves and our circumstances.
As I pare to retire form my work place and prepare for another phase in my life, I want to orientate myself to be in this journey of what Jesus of Nazareth suggested, 'Love your neighbour as yourself'.
It is as much as we entertain and enlarge our consciousness of our blessedness as God's beloved, we are able to be a comforting and caring neighbour to others!
A flower receives itself even in its ageing process!
Receiving and befriending myself is an enlarging experience, which shall free me from blaming or boasting! Receiving me as I am is to be true to myself! That is the way to advance in becoming a friend of oneself!
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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