From Nearness to Intimacy!

I feel grateful for the opportunity to watch birds and feel connected with their way of reciprocal behaviour. 

This pair of birds was expressive to each other through their bird calls, which had different level of decibels, just loud enough for each other to hear! They brought intimacy to their nearness. They communicated to refresh each other of their belonging and regard for each other. 

One disturbing thought that came up often, during conversation with parents that I listen to, during consultations for their children, is the dryness the couple feel towards each other emotionally. Some of them sit leaving a seat in between them, while seated in the chair during the conversation. They come and leave the consultation room, with a body language of burden expressive of the distance they feel towards each other. 

I have watched this as an unrecognised snare in marital relationship in many families! The language of love is the platform in marriage, which needs expansion and expression. But it isthmus,  which gets depleted of an emotional bond and a growing nearness to experience intimacy in marriage. 

In a conversation with a couple yesterday, I noticed how they turned to each other to look while in conversation with me. This conveyed to me that they were carrying each other in the conversation and wanted to make the other person included in the conversation. When that happens children too notice the intimacy between their parents. Children grow up in an ambience, where love abides in the ambience of the home, as both parents are self giving towards each other. 

The communication between a man and woman in marriage is verbal and non verbal. We can touch each other to grown  intimacy in marriage, with words of kindness, thoughtfulness and appreciation. We touch with each other with words of love to feel intimate. The physical touch and expressions of intimacy carry a similar significance when offered in an emotionally touching manner. 

There is a lot in marital intimacy, which  couples can explore to feel refreshed and grow in the sense of togetherness and mutuality, if only we can renew the vows of intimacy through daily acts of mindfulness. 

Anna often lights a candle during our morning time of togetherness, which reminds of the light that we are to be to each other. Light shows the way. Each couple can find symbols of love and mutuality and receive them as a blessing from each other! 

The birds above spent about twenty minutes sitting next to each other and making bird calls! They revived me through such a warm expression of regard for each other! They infused the language of love into their relationship! They were near to each other and intimate emotionally.  

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)