A distress call!

I notice that some birds are in distress when it is cloudy and threatens to be windy and raining! 

I noticed this Kingfisher perched on a tall tree in our front gardena and giving away loud bird calls yesterday. At dawn when the morning light was faint, I spotted this bird in an unusual fretful behaviour by changing its posture and direction of gaze frequently. It arrived on the tree with loud bird calls which is what alerted me to go out from the study, when it was drizzling! The repeated bird calls did arouse within me a suspicion of some distress it was experiencing! There was a cacophony of sounds around our cottage at that time when other birds also joined in its chorus!

Later in the day, I came across  a family of elderly parents arriving with their five years old son for consultation over his delay in language skills and communication. As soon he spotted me sitting on a low table, he went into a frenzy insisting to go out of the room. His father restrained him but he could not be consoled.  Having known about this background, I realised that for about three yers he has had such behaviours, for which he has been on different modes of treatment. 

When he quietened and appeared to be comfortable I approached him for a clinical examination, when his resistance grew to an alarming proportion, during which time he kicked, scratched and attempted to bite me. He could not be restrained and went into prolonged spell of screaming and forcing himself to escape from the restraining grip of his father. 

Having been used to similar behaviours in pre-school children, arising out of phobia of strangers or new place or setting, I did not proceed to examine him and allowed him to settle down. He picked up a toy which was a  model of elephant, and sat down to play with it. He stroked and and made sounds. To me that was a surprise. How could he look so friendly towards an elephant! It occurred to me that some children who watch cartoons regularly would pick up some symbols for themselves! His disproportionate strength to escape the tight restraining grip of  the father would have come from fantasising to be strong like an elephant!

The imageries of childhood can have favourable and unfavourable influence on them. The example of this child was living with unfavourable influence. 

In a subsequent conversation with the family I realised that this boy had a traction towards toys such as JCB, Lion, Oil tanker, etc, all being symbols of strength and power! 

I wondered if the symbols we adore can become metaphors of our behaviour!

I remember the book, The Name of God is Mercy, by Pope Francis, where he expounds on the theme of mercy based on the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth in the Sermon on the Mount. 

Let me quote from his words:  "Mercy is the divine attitude that embraces, it is God's self-giving that welcomes, that leans down to forgive"!

I was challenged to be kind and thoughtful towards this boy and his parents as they faced a terrible situation in that child. That child did have an obsessive behaviour disorder arising out of the inner complexities and contradictions that he lives with. The parents too have a broken spirit and a wounded psyche! The child and his parents are suffering and searching for respite!

I close my forty years of professional work this week! This encounter with a Kingfisher and a child with their distressing 'calls' stopped me to ponder, while attending to the scratches that were bleeding! That little physical pain was a glimpse of the enormous emotional pain the child and the parents carry within. 

What moved me amidst this difficult encounter was the way Rainu, Liya, Shalini and Shantha reached out to comfort and care! That was gift of love!

I suspect that mercifulness is a vanishing inner orientation of health care professionals! During a recent public meeting of the doctors, arranged by its professionals body, I heard an appeal from the leadership to protect the right of doctors. I was longing to hear the language of mindfulness, kindness, mercifulness towards those who suffer!

Let me conclude! In  the cry of a pre-school child, I wonder whether I failed sometimes to feel the concealed pain of the child!  I would have on some occasions inadvertently branded a child as insistent, naughty, demanding or misbehaving! 

I find some parents equally overcome by their preoccupations and showing little inner space to feel for their children!

The specialty of Developmental Paediatrics is to be a home for those in distress,  to whom the professionals show mercifulness! 

To me, that is an awareness that grows within me, as I close forty years of my service in this specialty!

M.C.Marthew(text and photo)