Plant, Leaves and Buds!

For most of the year, this desert Rose is only a cluster of leaves. Now it is beginning to blossom in its time!

This  is the story of all of us, more so of children. Parents live with a mountain of expectations to see them achieve and accomplish! 

But they have a long journey to make before they can show forth the fruits of investing our  time for them!

That is the catch! I find parents moving from one professional to another hoping for more help, while the help offered, when needed to be accompanied by parents by giving their full attention to help a child does not happen often!

I find that many children grow up unsupported and left to fend for themselves. The consequence is the acquired behaviour of reaction, inattention or disruptive behaviour! How much I wish that parents would realise that they make way for some of these behaviours by leaving them to occupy themselves!

Out of thirty or so families who came to visit during this month, who had concerns about their children being backward in language skills, used to engage children with screen time from the age of six months for 4-6 hours a day. That pushed children to be addicted to a visual medium where colour, movement and language which did not match with what was needed for them to have normal language exposure. 

Let children grow up hearing parents, seeing parents and interacting with parents. I wish the screen time would not become part of children till they are at least 18 months when the primary language skills develop. 

Why is that parents do not sing, talk, and play with children enough! This disturbs me!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

The Pruning and its effect!

The tree in our garden after pruning looks abundant. 

Sometimes what comes back after loosing what appeared good is plentiful!

Losses area real, but gains are also real!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

The evening time!

As I came to the close of the day, yesterday, I gathered the photos of the day, each giving me refreshing memories of the events of the day. 

Our memories are our companions and resources of encouragement. 

Each day has its surprises and travails. 

What helps us to see them coherently is time of reflection when we revisit memories. It is when we receive insights which we seem to have missed, when we were involved in situations sometimes in a hurry or casually, we make sense of the larger meaning of small and big events of the day. 

I remained in sense of suspense, through the day till the COVID test result of two of the staff  in the department was available at the end of the day. They were tested negative. That brought much relief. 

However the inner ambience during the day was one of suspense which dampened the fervour that I usually have for each day. 

Three families with a background dysfunctional state who came for consultation added to the state of confusion.  The loneliness and emotional trauma people carry with them became realities to reckon with!

So I needed a reflection time towards the end of the day when I could redirect my mind to realities beyond the events of the day. 

Seeing the lotus flower in a large pond at the end of the day was like bringing hope back! The white rose flower brought the message of peace. Th rose bud in the process of opening told its story of waiting to bloom. The Bulbul through its bird song announced the melody that is ever present all around us all the time. It is in God  we 'live move and have our being'! The anchor to our life is therefore is God, who is present with us all the time!

My eyes were moist as I closed the day, but hope returned to revive me!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Picture of the week!

 

The colours, sights and sounds at dawn are different each morning!

Take time to become friendly with the hues and melodies of the morning. The nature awakens to the morning sun and the birds for the day from their slumber at night. Together, we feel surrounded by sights and songs of celebration!

Every morning tells us that there is more awaiting for tomorrow!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Becoming to be open!

A bud becomes a flower unless it is damaged before its time to become a flower!

Becoming open is a process for a  purpose!

A bud remains a mystery before it is fully open! 

A plant attains its full identity only when its flowers are open!

All humans go thorough this stage of becoming a flower from being a bud. The seven stages of Ericsson is a vivid compilation of the transitions before a person fully arrives at his or her life's fullness !

A closed bud is only a limited expression of a flower or a plant!

I find this an interesting dimension to explore! Some families tell their stories and others struggle to withhold their stories. Having been in the role of listening to families for forty years, I find this as a pointer to the human nature. Some live to to tell their stories and some others to conceal their stories. 

Our lives can be pathfinders for others. Only as much as we tell our stories confessionally and transparently we make our lives as way marks for others.

Every life is sacred because God is at work their lives and manifest. It is only when we have a sense of reverence towards others and regardful of their storylines, we become a garden of neighbours instead of just being an individual plant living in wilderness. 

It is here I find it difficult!  We tend to remember others because of their faults or acts of commission or omission, rather than because of the light they tried to be during a season of their lives.  

Becoming present to others calls for openness!

What is life without it becoming meaningful to others!

It is likely that a flower might stay in a plant till it falls off or might be gathered for a flower arrangement in a vase! Whatever might be its course in its life time, it completes its purpose of of being an offering to others.

I find this as a recurring theme in my life during these days, as I prepare myself to retire from formal positions of responsibilities! A flower and a candle are alike as they give while living!

Live by giving! 

This comes to me as a reminder from the desert roses that I watched in our garden for two weeks before the buds became flowers!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A rose flower is a floral arrangement!

All these flowers have different arrangements of their petals. I find this a message worth pondering over!

There is a wide spectrum o human behaviour and attitude come across in all public places and our families. I find the confluence of differences as a pattern in nature and feel challenged to see as the differences in human behaviour as the way we evolve. The discordance or tensions which arise when human behaviours differ is therefore unfortunate. 

I had seven experiences of work place so far. As I look back, each work place experience involved being with colleagues who had a spectrum of attitude and behaviour. I look back at all these experiences as being formative to led me in this journey of founding the strength in others and withdraw because of differences. I had some difficulties which ruptured relationships because I was not patient enough to negotiate or long enough to wait. 

I have come to a situation as I retire shortly from my work that it is a good practice to develop conciliating relationships where dialogue and upbuilding messages provide teh ambience for each person to flourish. When it fails, it is no reason to blame oneself or others but a call to give a second chance!

May each of us find in ourselves something we can contribute to the lives of others, which adds to the meaning of being in a collaborative journey!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A bud's time!

 

It took four days for a rose bud to arrive at this readiness to open in to a flower! Hopefully ti would be flower tomorrow. Between the first stage of the flower to the fully open state it might take tow ore three days. So during about fifteen days from the early stage of a bud to bed a flower is a slow process. A bud is vulnerable to insects who throve one leaves and flowers. They are in our garden in plenty!

Personal formation is a process and sometimes takes us through risky path. 

Ou personal formation begins from the time of our conception. It is about becoming a fully awake and an open human being in whom abides the fullness of purpose, the created character, which God had put in us during our initial formation in our mother's womb.  The environment in which we live is both salutary and adversarial for this formative process. Salutary, because we live in a civil society. where moral values, ethical behaviour and humane attitudes are often manifested in an exemplary way.  Adversorial, because the forces of evil are also rampant in our society which trap us in to its mould to live selfishly and greedily, unmindful of others. 

Amidst this dual influences, we have an opportunity to choose tree direction of our lives, calling and allegiance to a higher purpose to our life and living. 

After having watched scores of buds during each season in our rose bushes, I get a sense that the majority of buds become flowers. 

I write this at a time when the corona pandemic is still holding us back from living our lives fully and self-givingly. 

I now know form the experience with rose buds, they would blossom even if the insects have eaten most the petals. I have seen buds with most of the petals, but eaten partially, giving a ragged appearance to the rose petals, which otherwise appear elegant and beautiful. 

The formative process when interfered with makes humans live with existential consciousness and not with an altruistic mission!

The effect of formation in each person's life is the discovery of a mission beyond personal gains!

We do not get educated to get a job to live secure, but to find a vocation to live and to make a difference to people around us by leading them to their mission in life!

Formation process leads us to a calling of becoming formatters for others!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Jasmine buds restrained!

I felt disturbed seeing a web woven around the jasmine buds, with uncertainty about their future. The jasmine buds are already showing signs of weariness choked by the strands of the web. 

The circumstances around us can be disturbing sometimes. Let me share an experience which happened yesterday. 

I was one my way to work in the morning yesterday. I parked the car on the wayside where there was enough space, in order to respond to a telephone call. While on the phone, I felt a jolt on the car. When I turned back I noticed a motorcyclist between my car and another car that was passing by. I wonder whether the motorcyclist was trying to negotiate to go between the narrow space between the two cars. 

What was left was a dent that needed to go to a garage for repair. 

The most disturbing thing was that while I moved the car to help the motorcyclist to find space  to extricate his vehicle which was trapped, he disappeared. The least which was expected in such a situation was an expression of regret and a polite conversation. The other car driver showed no semblance of regret for driving too close to a parked car when there was  enough space on the road. His car escaped any damage. He turned to me and said, 'these things happen' and drove away! This happened in a road where there was no other traffic at that time except these three vehicles. I felt awful because I thought I had parked safe near the edge of the road close to the boundary wall of the adjacent compound. 

The behaviour of those men disturbed me. They lacked any social courtesy we ought to demonstrate on road. 

The service personnel at the garage was surprised too see me coming after a month for dent repair. On the earlier occasion, it was a man with a squint who drove in to my car while starting a parked car. There again, I found no regret or apology .

I feel that all of us experience difficulties on account of wrong judgements of others on the road. But I have been in occasions when the drivers getting down to greet each other and render apology and wish each other well during the rest of the journey. 

A society is what we make it to be. If we do not have road courtesies, it is likely that we live mindlessly, seeking our comforts and not of others. Such a society is not a feeling society, which regards the needs of others!

I drove the next ten minutes to reach the hospital, arriving late by fifteen minutes, and starting the work with no time in between to recover from this 'choking experience'. 

That is when I remembered the sight of the jasmine buds in the garden. Anyone of us can have similar experiences, and would need to be ready for such unfortunate realities in our daily life!

To process such experiences and to develop a forgiving spirit is the way forward. I struggled with it the whole day. It was while coming back home in the evening, I saw  two people helping a senior citizen to have his evening walk! They were two younger people who would come to do this every day voluntarily! We are fortunate that there are amnesty such people who are mindful of otters!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Long and Winding path!

I travelled on this winding road for ten years, twice a day, while going and returning from my work place. I have often found a vehicle approaching from the opposite direction at this turning. Now I anticipate and adjust the speed accordingly. 

Our journey in life is along a long and winding path. 

There are times when we feel the need to pause and proceed slowly. 

While listening to a parent yesterday, I realised how this family got stranded overseas for two years during which time there son could not receive the usual help he needed to develop his language skills. This was the consequence of the corona pandemic. I felt that the child made good progress in communication and social skills during this time. The mother did part time work during this period and devoted her time in a teacher's role to help her son with on line learning process. She talked about this experience of finding a new level of nearness with her son and both found the time endearing. 

The winding path in life is not therefore a 'pain' or a pause or an interruption, but a way forward which we had not foreseen. 

To be able to proceed slowly is a difficult choice, as in a fast driven setting of quick success that people are pressing for, it can be sometimes interpreted to be a weakness if one is seen to  be slow. The journey itself is transformational because of which the destination takes less importance!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Flowers and fruits!

The above is a photo of papaya tree that we did not plant. It came up near the boundary wall from bird droppings. We have seven papaya trees which came up like this. We planted three and the seven others are bird's gifts.

This is the third year since it started flowering. It's fruits are large and delicious, different from others. 

This tree reminds me of many things in life which are 'given' to us. We did not go seeking for them but landed in our lap unasked for. 

Anna distributes the fruits to our neighbours. I find that as a grateful act. What is give to us is also for sharing with others. 

We receive and give. This is the way of living! I am slow in making this as a habit in my life!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Small is beautiful!

I feel fascinated by small birds. Often they move about and cannot be seen when they hide in thick foliage. Only when their movements create a flutter of leaves one notices their presence. 

These three birds often visit our garden and make one bush their flight station. 

For some reason, the small birds are better groomed than the big birds. 

They are small and therefore not so visible! But their birdsongs are distinct and musically more tuneful that those of the big birds. 

One other distinct feature of these birds is that they are comfortable by human presence and sometimes frequent such places. Anna tried to make a bird feeder for them, but they do not seem to be fond of them. 

Their feathers which are in different shades of colour stand out! There is an artistic richness to their complexion. 

I look out for them whenever I am outdoor and have a camera with me. 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Between a Bud and Flower!

All buds do not become flowers. Some become a prey to the insects. 

Thos who become flowers live to give fragrance and nectar!

I have been recently reading about the adverse impact of the two lost school years for children in India due to the Corona pandemic!

While the political masters justify about online learning about it having been a substitute, the reality is that children have lost the soul of schooling, which is social life and group learning. 

A generation of children would soon return to schools from November 2021 as it stands now, with losses and griefs! I wonder whether the educationalists are ready to welcome children back to school and provide a smooth passage for children during this transition time! 

I come across children and parents who speak about the losses and disappointments of this season! Our classrooms would soon be a place of gathering of children who have a long way to go to recover from their losses before they can turn to curriculum based learning!

Will there be parent-teacher consultation to make this transition easy for children!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

In search of Food!

I have often noticed Barbets come to the papaya tree searching for ripe fruit! It is still too early for the fruit to be ready! The morning flight stations of the birds in our garden include fruit trees. 

I met a migrant worker who told me that he has to search for food every day as it is now three months since he has had a regular job. His family in Orissa depends on him. He sends what he earns once or twice a week and lives with what is left over!

Yes there are many, who still search food in our cities and rural areas! 

I have similar experiences with neighbours. If they do not have a daily job, they would find it hard to feed the family!

I wonder whether the churches would have a food store, from where the neighbours can come and gather enough for their need in these difficult times following the Corona pandemic!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

A time for everything!

The nutmeg tree gives its fruit to the farmer in its season! The split fruit hanging in the tree is the sign that it shall soon fall and the farmer can gather it !

After five to six months since the fruit first appeared, when it is finally split exposing the maize and the nut, one season in the life of the tree is over. Another season soon follows. 

During all the season the tree is giving!

Each fruit counts. Each contributes to form the heap of nuts, ready to be sold! One in the many!

To be giving is its nature!

I begin the week with this thought that life is for giving, an offering to the God of love in service!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Not too far away form our cottage!

It is when we notice smoke amidst thick foliage early in the morning , one suspects of illicit alcohol brewing! It is on the increase as branded alcohol has become more costly!

The third common medical condition for which people in late fifties seek help from our hospital is alcohol related cirrhosis if liver!

The alcohol dependent life at home is one major cause for childhood trauma!

When would this change!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Morning bird songs!

It is nor more a cacophony, but bird songs with birds in sight in our garden. Some birds come to the courtyard of our cottage and sing for us regularly. A bird watcher referred to it as the domesticating phase of some common birds. When this happens it is likely that some of them would make nests in the premises. 

Make birds our friendly neighbours!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A surprise visitor!

I was watching the flower of Madagascar periwinkle in our garden. A green lynx spider appeared on it and disappeared before I could take a sharp photo! A lost moment!

Not so, I still have this photo of the spider. 

The times when I stay wishing for something better, have sometimes been too long! Such longing for something better takes away the richness of what is already present. 

A family who came to visit talked about the many needs of their son for forty minutes. It was when I interrupted after listening to all the difficulties, mother told us something about his skills and interests. She produced a psychology report suggesting that his IQ is 134, whom the psychologist referred to as a gifted child. 

There is so much that we have; what we do not have is far less than wet we seem to think. 

The flower was beautiful; the spider made it stand out!

What is given to us and what we have is good enough and plentiful!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Sunday spotting!

The morning hours in our garden do bring sights that can be surprising and fascinating. It was the same today! I found these dragon flies and butterflies in unusual places. There was a butterfly that suffered injury in one of its wings!

It is the tenth year since we started living in this cottage. We have many pleasant memories of 

our time here. With domestic helpers helping us we found it easier to keep the garden and the the property in good shape. For Anna it was a special experience as she enjoys planting, caring and gathering the yield. Anna has been liberal with sharing the produce with our neighbours, who share theirs with us.  

For the gift of life, health and the good things that surround us, Anna and I raise our chorus of praises!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)