As I watched this bud became a golden coloured Hibiscus flower over four days, I had no idea of what would become of this bud! I was surprised by its elegance and splendour. There were ants crawling to the base of flower for its nectar.
I was involved in observing about 600 newborns within five minutes of their arrival from their mother's womb in 1977 as part of a research project during my post graduate training in Child health at the Medical College, Nagpur. Forty three years later, I look back over those nights days when I spent in observing babies on arrival.
One experience which still lingers in mind is a sense of suspense. What would become of them! All those who live now are in their mid forties and hopefully content and fulfilled!
I attempted to to trace some of them a few years back in an effort to get a glimpse of what they have become. I could not carry that forward due to difficulties to trace them in their old address.
I spend a lot of time with infants and toddlers in my work now. One question, I often explore actively is the attachment process infants develop with the parents.
The attachment process is an emotional bonding between parents and their child, which is the sheet anchor of stability in personal behaviour and social responses of an infant and a toddler. When a child and parents are bonded well, a child feels secure, affirmed and the sense of belonging develops which then permits children to explore the environment, relate socially and connect with the events and happening around the child's world.
This solitary golden coloured Hibiscus stands apart from all other flowers in the corner of our garden. Its colour and petal formation make it special among all the other flowers. The transition from being a bud to a flower was a normal process, because the plant provided the nurture.
However childhood formation calls for attention and diligence. From conversations with parents, I have a strong suspicion that infants and toddlers have many parent substitutes-mobile phone, TV, cartoons, baby sitters, day care centres, grandparents, etc.
Are children getting displaced from the ambience of bonding and belonging, which alone can give them the opportunity to grow up to be settled and colourful children in later years!
There is a lot between the cup and lip. Is parenting a focus and aspiration of parents in the changing times!
When Anna and I wrote the 'Parenting your child' in 1999, children grew up in an altogether different environment. The gadgets which surround children now did not exist then. Parents had more time and inclination to befriend their children interactively. Now most parents are tired or preoccupied to give their full attention to their children!
Childhood formation tales place now-a-days without adequate parenting influence. I lament over it! An infant is like a bud all ready to bloom! Does he or she receive the nurture from parents!
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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