Dr Suseel Tharien, consultant psychiatrist at the Christian Fellowship Hospital, Oddanchatram, and the chairman of the Association of Christian Counsellors, is someone whom I met in 1966 when he and I were students at Nagpur.
Dear Suseel,
Greetings.
I am in the process of remembering friends who have blessed me in some way or other, since my medical school days. I do this as my way of thanking people in grateful remembrance in connection with my seventieth birthday.
I first met you and Dr AK Tharien when you came to SFS College, Nagpur in 1966. Meeting your father, whom I had heard a lot about by then, was a privilege and a turning point in my life. The one-year of contact with you at Nagpur and the later years of contacts after that, are full of pleasant memories. It was from you I got to know about the way all of you lived at CFH ODC at that time in a relational way, sharing a common purse without taking a regular salary. That was different from what was the practice at that time. I was fascinated by the stories you shared with me about the life of children in the hospital campus, where you ‘belonged to all the families’ and not just to your natural family alone!
Your invitation to me to visit CFH during a holiday was a formative experience for me. You gave me an opportunity to stay with you in your home and took me around to different places and introduced me to different people, who impressed me immensely by their attitude to life and work. It was your father who came to receive us in the ODC railway station in an Ambassodor car and took us to your home. Meeting your mother was refreshing. Her gentle and charming ways, hospitality and thoughtfulness impressed me. I sensed that she was a link with many families and domestic workers in the campus and created a culture of mutuality and fellowship between people.
Although you moved to CMC Vellore for your undergraduate studies, you cared to stay in touch. I kept some of the inland letters I received from you, which even today bring pleasant memories of all that was common between some of us- the vocation of students and doctors in medicine. That was the time when Dr Garlick was facilitating our formative thinking of living with a vocation. I remember a visit from you and Isaac Jebraj when I was doing my house surgency. That was an inspiring occasion. We had plenty of time to listen to each other and connect with the lives of common friends and think together about the future of staying in touch with medical students and doctors. What bonded us then was also some common friends, Geetha Gnanaolive, Prasanna Elias and few others, whom we met during visits or meetings.
The Periyakulum work camp was an important occasion for several reasons. That was when some of us had an opportunity to live and share some common concerns. Listening to Dr Garlick and Dr Sheela Gupta was the highlight of the occasion. To me that gave me the grounding for all that followed in my personal life. Dr Garlick talking from the passage from Isaiah, ‘enlarge.. stretch forth..lengtehn..’ somehow gripped me. In fact, the inspiration to move out of mainline paediatrics to be engaged with children with special needs came from many voices… but the messages of the work camp too had their impact in my decision making process! Dr Sheela spoke from her insights of the pilgrim fathers of the Old Testament! It planted in my heart an enquiring attitude about the lives of other men and women of God in the Bible! Most of the clarification happened during informal conversations during the in between times of the meetings. Of course it was also the time that I met Anna, which was helpful when the suggestions came to me from you and few others about considering her as my life partner!
I refer to this occasion in my recollection of you to highlight that this work camp increased my desire to stay in touch with friends on a regular basis.
I remember vividly that you were my main contact person to have conversations and communications about Anna while I was preparing to make a decision. You helped in a magnificent way with clarity, emotional support and accompaniment. I remember writing several letters during this time, which you considered seriously and responded with a lot of openness. Thank you Suseel for your caring and affirming attitude during such a significant season in my life.
Thank you for coming for our marriage and remembering us in a special way even after that. Although our contacts became infrequent after that, the occasions when we met were occasions for fellowship.
When you moved on to do your post-graduate training in Psychiatry, you too had some challenges. I remember having conversations with you on a few occasions during that time. You had a sense of purpose and the difficulties you faced from one or two faculty did not deter you or discourage you! Your resilience and confidence to face the adverse situations were truly the reasons why you became most effective as a psychiatrist and counsellor during the later years. I admire you for turning the difficulties into a formative experience, which made you to be a caring and considerate person during your long years as a professional and administrator.
During the one-year Anna and I spent at CFH ODC in 1982, we had opportunities for conversation and sharing of ideas. It was during that time you were moving forward to offer rehabilitative service to patients who had longstanding history of mental illness. Your patience with them and the long hours you were ready to invest, brought a new understanding of the ethos you carried with you as a praying and caring psychiatrist.
You made an effort to persuade us to stay located at CFH and pursue developing services for children with developmental needs in CFH. When we felt disinclined, you were still open to support our initiative. You even explored whether we could be associate members of the Christian Fellowship living and working elsewhere.
Our contacts with you declined since we left CFH in 1983, but during my monthly visits for two years to help in Paediatrics, we have had opportunities to converse on matters that were dear to us. I sensed that you were moving to explore the role of counselling as an adjunct therapy for patients with psychosis and depression. That seems to have been the right direction since you were able to provide leadership to Christian counselling through the national organization.
I have watched you as an administrator and as a strong advocate of the mission of the Christian Fellowship. You inspired younger doctors to join the fellowship, which assured continuity for the future.
I feel good to have known Valsa as Ommechan’s sister and for having had some contacts with Deepa. Both of you invested a lot in Deepa and her family because of which they too carry a missionary vocation in ther lives.
The influence of your parents in my life from my student days was immense. They gave me a perspective to esteem and regard others in the practice of medicine. I intend to dwell on this separately in my biography, which appears in the photo-blog I write.
Although life took me through twists, turns, detours and slippery paths, I carry within me a joyful recollection of all that life brought to me.
The friendships of early years, from my student days, form one large part of the memory of jubilation that I live with currently.
Life is an opportunity to live mindful of others as ‘neighbours’. I pursued it as a calling, and I shall continue to do so, as much as possible.
Thank you for your friendship and regards,
M.C.Mathew
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