I came across this painting by a British artist and poet, William Blake belonging to the last decade of 1700. Naomi in black attire and Ruth, her one daughter-in-law clinging to her and the other daughter- -in-law leaving her after saying farewell to Naomi, kept engaging me. It is an unusual story narrated in the book of Ruth in the Old Testament of the Bible. This painting is considered to be the best among similar ones depicting Naomi at a time of her loss. Ruth embraced Naomi as portrayed in this painting who was wearing a black attire with a bereft face and outstretched arms, not ready to receive the embrace of Ruth. How from that sate of utter loss and dismay, Naomi and Ruth made a new beginning in Bethlehem might almost appear fictional. It was so unusual to be real. But this event and what followed are historically true as Ruth is mentioned in the list of people who were in the lineage of Jesus of Nazareth.
Naomi lost her husband Elimelech and her two sons Mahlon and Chilion one after the other, while they lived in the land of Moab during a season of famine. Naomi was left with her two daughters-in-law, Ruth and Orpah. The story of Naomi, who's name means, pleasant, behaved true to her name in a most pleasant way to her two daughters-in-law even after her loss of her husband and her two sons. How the two women of Moab, who became her daughters-in-law became close to Naomi so as to become Naomi's daughters is truly a moving story worth recollecting.
The story appears in sufficient details in the book of Ruth 2:1-22.
1. Loss in succession
Naomi and Elimelech, their two sons, resident in Bethlehem had arrived in Moab as there was a famine in Judha. Elimelech, husband of Naomi died first and Naomi was left with her two sons (v.3). Mahlon and Chilion took Moabite women as their wives (v.3). There after the two sons also died (v.3), leaving Naomi bereft.
Naomi was a displaced person from Bethlehem and from her family and that of her husband forced to live in Moab die to famine in their land. That in itself was a distressing. To be a refugee in a foreign land is a de-personalising experience. The worst dislocation to normal life in our time is caused by displacement of people on account of war, ethnic conflicts or terrorism. Thousands live as refugees for years in a foreign land with no hope of a home of their own in the near future. Their children have lost their normal childhood and education. They live with no permanency to tier future.
Naomi was such person further made bereft with the loss of her husband and tow sons. If I were to stretch my imagination, Naomi might have been accused of allowing her sons to take their wives form a foreign land, which was often seen by the Jews as no-acceptable. Anyone other than a jew for marital relationships was not a welcome according to eh the orthodox religious and cultural norms. Naomi might have had to endure that harsh comment from her community of God judging harshly for allowing her sons to marry from a foreign land and race.
Further to all of these, her loss is also the loss of her lineage. There was no hope for her to have her own sons or daughters to continue her family lineage. To a jew, not having a family to continue the family tree is a great loss of alienation, from the succession of families that Jewish race was used to. We get a sense of such intense loss, when Naomi addressed her daughters-in-law in v.11, 'Have I yet sons in my womb, that they may be your husbands'! For Naomi this loss of her husband and her two sons came as a closure of dream of anew life within her family!
I do come across people overwhelmed by successive loss experiences. A woman also their husband in a car accident. Her son died due to Meningitis and her daughter due to a fall from a moving bus, all of which happening in a span of five years. This woman was well employed and had supporting families form both sides. Her husband's family welcomed her to he fold and at the end of a season of grief , offered her the prospects of remarriage. Her husband's family gave her the freedom to move on, which is what she did after about another year. She came to visit us with her second husband and a daughter off tow years, who needed some help in her language skills.
I confess that such a recovery from successive losses is rather unusual as many perpetuate grief and delay to bring a closure to it.
During the sojourn of about ten years in Moab (v.4), Naomi would have got a net work of connections with people and the families of her two daughters-in-law and all those who were known to her husband and two sons. And yet it looked form the narration of this story that Naomi did not seek consolation form those sources. Her only longing was to return from the land of Moab (v.6). This is the orientation of people who live displaced. They feel unsettled more so when they have adverse circumstances to overcome.
Is this not what we have recently seen in India, with about thirty lakh migrant workers desperate to return to heir home states due to the locked down on account of corona infection! Many walked hundreds of miles to reach their home. An insensitive administration at the state and central levels delayed providing them transport to go back home. Think of the awful emotional state of all those who lived and worked in other states to earn a livelihood! They could not adapt enough to belong to a new place, when they have had to endure harsh circumstances. This is the fall out of grief and loss. We lose our sense of belonging and long for what have been familiar to us in our childhood. I am told that about 80 percent of people who grew up in Kerala would return to retire in Kerala although they spent their life time working in other states in India.
No wonder Naomi too wanted to return to her home land.
2. A transition time
Naomi arose from where she was living with Ruth and Orpah (7) and 'they went on their way to return to the land of Judah'. There are two significant events taking place in the life of Naomi at that time.
She was 'rising' above her experiences in the land of Moab, akin to a sunrise after a dark night. The experiences of her loss and grief wee paralysing enough to be left with any new energy to live peacefully. The phrase, 'she arose with her daughters-in-law' (v.6) was both literal and metaphorical. Literal, because she was ready to leave Moab with afflicted her with sorrow and metaphorical because she wanted to be freed form the baggage and burden of her losses. One cannot live in the plane of los for too long. That can be depressogenic. I remember being warned by a good friend at the time of my heart surgery for blocked arteries that I ought to protect myself from a permanent thought that I am a heart patent. Such a thought does not give freedom to explore all that lie ahead after the blocked arteries are replaced new ones at surgery. Naomi needed to experience that she was a woman and not just a widow who had to live permanently with with a loss-consciousness. She was a woman with many opportunities ahead of her.
The second significant experience in her life was the way she had to arrive at a new plane to relate to her daughters-in-law. They were now dependent on her and for rather future. She could not hide herself under her sorrow and live as a victim. Instead it was an opportunity to compensate for the absence of her husband and two sons by living beyond her normal role. It was one such occasion when a woman was to lead tow other women in to the highways of God and what was still left for them in their lives. I suspect that this new consciousness of her new role would have dawned on Naomi when they on 'their way' to the land of Judah. One has to be moving forward to be carried further. That was what Naomi experienced, while she was on her way with Ruth and Orpah. A new consciousness of her responsibility towards her daughters-in-law dawned on her, which prepared her to talk to them about what she was about to propose to them- to 'return to their mother's house' (v8). It was to Naomi's sons they were married and since they were deceased, Naomi had to free them to choose rather than become possessive of them.
The symbolism of being on the way can be understood better by recalling the story of the two disciples walking toward Emmaus ( Luk24:13-35). A lengthy conversation took place between the two disciples and Jesus who joined them, although they did not recognise Him. Referring to this conversation while they were on their way home, the disciples recalled, 'were not our hearts burning within us while, He was speaking to us on the road while He was explaining Scriptures to us?'V32). This has a reference to inner readiness for Metanoia, openness. The two disciples were returning from Jerusalem after they heard the news of resurrection of Jesus, possibly in a state of amazement but puzzled and confused! They received enlightenment through what Jesus spoke and how He broke bread with them at supper time. Being on the way is not just physical alone, but also would refer to an inward journey of openness, faith or hope.
A similar experience happened to the ten people with leprosy came to Jesus (Luk17:11-21) seeking healing. Jesus told them, 'Go and sit yourselves to the priest'(v14). While they were on their way, they were healed(v14). Those patients of leprosy had to trust and hope in the prospects of their healing at the words of Jesus. That was what happened while they were on their way. It is only when we are willing to be unsettled from our preferred positions or locations a change or progress can be made. It is not others or our circumstances which limit our prospects or enlargement but we ourselves by our insistence on our perspectives or thoughts or beliefs.
That was the difficulty with a man who was lying beside Bethesda pool, with an illness history of thirty eight years, who said to Jesus, ' Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred, but while I am coming, another steps down before me' (John5:7). He found others as the reason for him not being able to get into the pool. He was sick and sickness froze him into inaction and complaining. That is the opposite of being on the way of recovery or renewal. This man reinforced himself to live in his helpless position and thrive on pity or benevolence.
I remember the Dr MGR Medical university rejecting my application for registering for Phd in Neurology in 1990 on the basis that my post graduate qualification was not recognised by the Indian Medical Council. I had a national board qualification as well, which should have made me eligible. But that did not satisfy the authorities. I felt dejected. While talking about it to the professor under whom I was to pursue my research, he got in touch with the the Vice-chancellor, who invited me to his chamber in the afternoon on the same day. He apologised me for the inconvenience and saw no reason for refusing me registration. I had given up on pursuing the research programme as the other officials delayed the process for six months till I met the Vice-cahncelloer. It was meeting the professor which reinitiated the process. All of us can do something to help ourselves, which then becomes a means for others to help us and for God to prosper our ways.
Naomi is an inspiration because of the sense of mission with which she was pursuing to support and empower Ruth and Orpah, triumphing over her disappointments.
3. Birth of a new relationship
Naomi was in a final stage of closure of her relationship with her two daughters-in-laws, when she told them, 'Go return each of you to her mother's house, ..May the Lord grant that you may find rest each in the house of her husband' (v8-9). Naomi kissed them farewell, but both of them desired to go with her to her people. It was during the second round of conversation something significant happened in the way Naomi rented her relationships with both of them. While speaking to them again, Naomi addressed them as 'my daughters'(v13). What followed was a consequence of this.
Both Ruth and Orpah would have been touched by Naomi's affectionate appeal to them to prepare themselves for a future beyond the sorrow they suffered on account of the loss of their husbands. To have been addressed as daughters was more than just a change in terminology, but much beyond that. Naomi by receiving them as her daughters were reaching out to them to help them to have a future than remain as widows. It was not an easy experience for Naomi. She had two sons and she lost them. Now to adopt two daughters into her life, who were widows and she herself without her husband was a demanding call. But this is the mother's heart. A mother would make any adjustments for her family. I have not seen as much of such self giving elsewhere. Naomi even in her loss looked beyond herself and offered to be available to them.
When Naomi gave Ruth and Orpah the status of being her daughters, Ruth received the offer and clung to Naomi, while Orpah kissed her to say farewell(v14). I have often wondered how Orpah at that occasion chose to part with Naomi. This is a turning point in the story of Naomi. Naomi in blessing both of them opened before them the vision of the house of their husband(v9). Orpah fell for that and Ruth chose to be with Naomi. Both choices are fully justifiable, however, this is where the difference would matter for the future. Orpah fades into the background in Biblical history following this and Ruth became part of the lineage of Jesus of Nazareth. Every decision we make carries has its own significance. That is why life choices are never to be taken lightly.
Yesterday an intern dropped in to say that he wanted to be a surgeon who would be known for his skills, good operating results and service. I thought he chose well for himself. In the conversation that followed I realised that he was not enamoured by the material aspects of life and the status that medical professionals seek after socially. I came across another person a day before, who has his eyes fixed on the 'good things' of life and did not refer to any consciousness of service in his outlook.
Ruth was offered the role of a daughter in Naomi's life which she gratefully accepted and proceeded to make a response from her heart to Naomi: '..where you go I will go, and where yo lodge, I will lodge, your people shall be my people and your God my God' (16). Ruth went on to make a life long commitment to Naomi, '..if anything but death parts you and me'(v17). Naomi who was insisting on both Ruth and Orpah to return to their people, no longer persuaded Ruth to do so, after this.(v18). That was the beginning of a new relationship.
All relationships are reciprocal and mutual. I have a Swiss friend, now in his early eighties, who after losing his wife a few years back decided to invest his time on men who live single after the death of their spouse or after divorce. He reached out to about 20 of them he knew who lived in his village, out of which about five of them had invested in making the relationship mutual. One outcome of this was opportunity to grow together as senior citizens. That has reduced the sense of void in their lies and are grateful to each other for bringing cheer and deluging. It was anew beginning for my friend.
Some relationships can remain submerged in misunderstanding, suspicion or in anger. There are prospects for such relationships to become more sober and relevant.
Naomi is an example for all mothers to revive their relationships with their son-in-law and daughter -in-law!
4. Returning to Bethlehem
Both Ruth and Naomi arrived in Bethlehem to find that the city was stirred because of them(v19) so much so some women asked 'is it Naomi'!
This appears a strange phenomenon. Naomi returned as a widow without her two sons. This aroused curiosity and judgement. A widow was less in status among women, which is why some women were curious to make some disgraceful comments. Those who receive social approval are those who return after obtaining laurels in there lives. When Naomi returned with with a story of loss, there was more arousal of curiosity rather than consideration.
Naomi had an equal status like anyone else in the town of Bethlehem as her husband belonged to that place. I have often pondered over the reasons of stirring that accompanied the arrival of Naomi and Ruth. there could be many reasons. Let me suggest three.
First, Naomi's new status as a widow called for special attention in jewish practices. The prophetic call was, 'Learn to do good, seek justice, reprove the ruthless, defend the orphan and lead fo rah widow' (Isa1:17). So arrival of two widows in to their midst after a long sojourn increased the social responsibility of the community. The stirring was a reaction to what was needed to create space and social security for them.
Second reason is well illustrated in the story of a widow who used to come to a judge, seeking legal protection from her opponent (Luk18:2-5). It was common for widows to experience harassment over claims of property, inheritance, etc. There would have been some who were disturbed over having to return to Naomi property or wealth that others they for a while in Naomi's or her husband's absence. It was unsettling for some who would feel their loss on account of this. Elimelech belonged to a family of great wealth (Ruth 2 :1).
A third reason would have been on account of Ruth a Moabite woman, who too was a widow. According to Jewish custom, such a person who became a widow had to be redeemed by a relative (Ruth 4:13). In this process, there is an allotment of wealth and property to such a person, which too would have unsettled some.
For Naomi returning to Bethlehem was home coming. But for the people of Bethlehem, it meant something different from that. It is unfortunate that people cannot often go beyond their own immediate aspirations. The inclusiveness that we speak about is no where to be seen in the attitude of people of Bethlehem when two widows came to be in heir midst.
I remember my own experiences when I returned to live in the village where I grew up after an absence of forty five ears. I was overcome by demands of entitlements by people who were associated with my parents. There were a few who welcomed us and offered some support where as most people viewed us from a utilitarian mind set. But a neighbour who drives an auto-rikshaw surprised us during the last seven years with his kindness and thoughtfulness. A taxi driver has been gracious and helpful. A plumber and an electrician are now friends.
I have had at least seventeen colleagues who worked for a year or two in the department who now live in different places inside and outside the country. At the time of their farewell, most of them invariably recalled how they were received when they came to join for work. Usually my colleagues made it easy and transitional for them. For most of them, it was a first time experience of working as professionals after completing their training.
All of us are used to welcoming visitors and friends. What stays with them is the memory of our hospitality and thoughtfulness during such visits. It is often difficult to give undivided attention, as interruptions like telephone calls can take away the focus.
From the story of Naomi, Bethlehem is a symbol of place, people and provisions. All of us have such situations to which we have attachments. We treasure such situations when we are in a state of stress, need or transition. Anna and I have found visiting Katharine and Peter Makower in London a special experiences because they are effusive with hospitality. During the few days we spend with them, their hoe revolves around us and efforts to include us into their lives and experiences.
All of us need such special places of acceptance and affirmation to belong to.
5. Naomi a creative confessor
The first response of Naomi to people who might have been agitated over her state of affairs, was 'Do not call me Naomi, call me Mara, for the almighty has dealt bitterly with me. I went out full, but the Lord has brought me back empty..'(v 20, 21).
Naomi (pleasant) became Mara (bitter) during her sojourn in Moab. I like the utter honesty with which she made this public confession about herself, her God and and her state of 'poverty'. It is not often we come across such a transparent confession about one's own intimate experience of God.
Although she has enough reasons to be bitter, we do not see her expressing that in her dating with Ruth or Orpah. Instead, we come across Naomi as a gracious, thoughtful and generous in words and deed.
How is that the bitter experiences she went through did not make her bitter person! Let me suggest three reflections on this:
Naomi was aware of her immediate situation and responsibility towards her two daughters-in-law. To have two young widows under her care was a responsibility and calling. Whatever might have been the intensity of her personal loss and grief, Naomi sensed the enormous loss her daughters-in-law suffered with many years ahed of them. Her own needs got subsumed in the immediate needs of Ruth and Orpah.
Naomi gave herself time and space to make a transition. There was no hurry to close the chapter of her life of ten or more years in Moab immediately after she lost her husband or sons. She allowed time to become her healer. In fact her two star conversations would have taken place over a stretch of time interspersed with travel since they decided to leave Moab.
Naomi was an honest communicator to her two daughters-in-law. We see Naomi exercising good practices in counselling, discernment and conversation. Naomi was a feeler and an empathiser. She saw the needs of her daughters-in-law and foresaw a future for them. For her to 'rename' herself Mara, and publicly declare it was not easy as her original name stood for 'pleasantness'. I find her sober, solemn and as a woman of solitude who discovered that she could hold together 'bitterness' and pleasantness' in her journey of life, where God would converge all experiences for the ultimate common good. I find in her a mark of saintliness because even though she came face to face with God through her bitter experiences, she turned that in to a victory journey for her two daughters-in-law. Hers was an experience of vicarious suffering.
Dr Ray Windsor, a cardio-thoracic surgeon of some eminence from NewZeland came to look for a job in CMC, Vellore as he felt called to come to India at a time when cardio-thoracic surgery was still evolving India. It was in the early nineteen sixties. For some reason he was not welcomed to join CMC although the department of cardio-thoracic surgery needed an upgrading with by-pass surgery at that time. Later he became the founding professor of cardio-thoracic surgery in the Post Graduate Institute of Medical Education, Chandigarh. Although I had several meetings with him over a period of twenty years and talked about his first experience at CMC Vellore, I do not remember him talking about this experience with any bitterness. He had regrets and doubts about the leading he felt to resign his job in New Zealand, which too faded away over a period of time. Later he became the international director of the Bible Medical Missionary Fellowship (currently Interserve). It was during his term of office there was a new thrust to invite medical professionals to come to rural India. Dr. Windsor envisioned the formation of the Emmanuel Hospital Association, which is a federation of about thirty hospitals in north India. At the time of him leaving India, I remember meeting him. Dr Windsor left aIndia as a person who experienced nearness to God through his experiences in India.
St Paul was a creative confessor who said: 'I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need' (Phil 4: 12). To be able to hold together diverse experiences in an integrated way is what make life to be a 'light and salt'.
Naomi was one such person who experienced pleasantness and bitterness, both together becoming formative to make her a gracious woman who planned the rescue mission for her two daughters-in-law. She went even further to enable one of them Ruth to rebuild her life in a foreign land. What Ruth did to her mother-in-law, was what attracted the attention of Boaz, who as her kinsmen told her, 'All that you have done for your mother-in-law after the death of your husband has been fully reported to me, and how you left your father and mother and the land of your birth, and came to a people that you did not previously know'(Rut 2:11). This glorious testimony about Ruth was a tribute to Naomi who accomapnied Ruth in transforming her grief into hope.
I dedicate this flower bunch from our garden to the memory of Naomi, who learned to integrate pleasantness and bitterness in her life and made other people richer through her self giving.
Naomi is an archetype of Jesus of Nazareth, because her mission was to rebuild the life of Ruth
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
The story appears in sufficient details in the book of Ruth 2:1-22.
1. Loss in succession
Naomi and Elimelech, their two sons, resident in Bethlehem had arrived in Moab as there was a famine in Judha. Elimelech, husband of Naomi died first and Naomi was left with her two sons (v.3). Mahlon and Chilion took Moabite women as their wives (v.3). There after the two sons also died (v.3), leaving Naomi bereft.
Naomi was a displaced person from Bethlehem and from her family and that of her husband forced to live in Moab die to famine in their land. That in itself was a distressing. To be a refugee in a foreign land is a de-personalising experience. The worst dislocation to normal life in our time is caused by displacement of people on account of war, ethnic conflicts or terrorism. Thousands live as refugees for years in a foreign land with no hope of a home of their own in the near future. Their children have lost their normal childhood and education. They live with no permanency to tier future.
Naomi was such person further made bereft with the loss of her husband and tow sons. If I were to stretch my imagination, Naomi might have been accused of allowing her sons to take their wives form a foreign land, which was often seen by the Jews as no-acceptable. Anyone other than a jew for marital relationships was not a welcome according to eh the orthodox religious and cultural norms. Naomi might have had to endure that harsh comment from her community of God judging harshly for allowing her sons to marry from a foreign land and race.
Further to all of these, her loss is also the loss of her lineage. There was no hope for her to have her own sons or daughters to continue her family lineage. To a jew, not having a family to continue the family tree is a great loss of alienation, from the succession of families that Jewish race was used to. We get a sense of such intense loss, when Naomi addressed her daughters-in-law in v.11, 'Have I yet sons in my womb, that they may be your husbands'! For Naomi this loss of her husband and her two sons came as a closure of dream of anew life within her family!
I do come across people overwhelmed by successive loss experiences. A woman also their husband in a car accident. Her son died due to Meningitis and her daughter due to a fall from a moving bus, all of which happening in a span of five years. This woman was well employed and had supporting families form both sides. Her husband's family welcomed her to he fold and at the end of a season of grief , offered her the prospects of remarriage. Her husband's family gave her the freedom to move on, which is what she did after about another year. She came to visit us with her second husband and a daughter off tow years, who needed some help in her language skills.
I confess that such a recovery from successive losses is rather unusual as many perpetuate grief and delay to bring a closure to it.
During the sojourn of about ten years in Moab (v.4), Naomi would have got a net work of connections with people and the families of her two daughters-in-law and all those who were known to her husband and two sons. And yet it looked form the narration of this story that Naomi did not seek consolation form those sources. Her only longing was to return from the land of Moab (v.6). This is the orientation of people who live displaced. They feel unsettled more so when they have adverse circumstances to overcome.
Is this not what we have recently seen in India, with about thirty lakh migrant workers desperate to return to heir home states due to the locked down on account of corona infection! Many walked hundreds of miles to reach their home. An insensitive administration at the state and central levels delayed providing them transport to go back home. Think of the awful emotional state of all those who lived and worked in other states to earn a livelihood! They could not adapt enough to belong to a new place, when they have had to endure harsh circumstances. This is the fall out of grief and loss. We lose our sense of belonging and long for what have been familiar to us in our childhood. I am told that about 80 percent of people who grew up in Kerala would return to retire in Kerala although they spent their life time working in other states in India.
No wonder Naomi too wanted to return to her home land.
2. A transition time
Naomi arose from where she was living with Ruth and Orpah (7) and 'they went on their way to return to the land of Judah'. There are two significant events taking place in the life of Naomi at that time.
She was 'rising' above her experiences in the land of Moab, akin to a sunrise after a dark night. The experiences of her loss and grief wee paralysing enough to be left with any new energy to live peacefully. The phrase, 'she arose with her daughters-in-law' (v.6) was both literal and metaphorical. Literal, because she was ready to leave Moab with afflicted her with sorrow and metaphorical because she wanted to be freed form the baggage and burden of her losses. One cannot live in the plane of los for too long. That can be depressogenic. I remember being warned by a good friend at the time of my heart surgery for blocked arteries that I ought to protect myself from a permanent thought that I am a heart patent. Such a thought does not give freedom to explore all that lie ahead after the blocked arteries are replaced new ones at surgery. Naomi needed to experience that she was a woman and not just a widow who had to live permanently with with a loss-consciousness. She was a woman with many opportunities ahead of her.
The second significant experience in her life was the way she had to arrive at a new plane to relate to her daughters-in-law. They were now dependent on her and for rather future. She could not hide herself under her sorrow and live as a victim. Instead it was an opportunity to compensate for the absence of her husband and two sons by living beyond her normal role. It was one such occasion when a woman was to lead tow other women in to the highways of God and what was still left for them in their lives. I suspect that this new consciousness of her new role would have dawned on Naomi when they on 'their way' to the land of Judah. One has to be moving forward to be carried further. That was what Naomi experienced, while she was on her way with Ruth and Orpah. A new consciousness of her responsibility towards her daughters-in-law dawned on her, which prepared her to talk to them about what she was about to propose to them- to 'return to their mother's house' (v8). It was to Naomi's sons they were married and since they were deceased, Naomi had to free them to choose rather than become possessive of them.
The symbolism of being on the way can be understood better by recalling the story of the two disciples walking toward Emmaus ( Luk24:13-35). A lengthy conversation took place between the two disciples and Jesus who joined them, although they did not recognise Him. Referring to this conversation while they were on their way home, the disciples recalled, 'were not our hearts burning within us while, He was speaking to us on the road while He was explaining Scriptures to us?'V32). This has a reference to inner readiness for Metanoia, openness. The two disciples were returning from Jerusalem after they heard the news of resurrection of Jesus, possibly in a state of amazement but puzzled and confused! They received enlightenment through what Jesus spoke and how He broke bread with them at supper time. Being on the way is not just physical alone, but also would refer to an inward journey of openness, faith or hope.
A similar experience happened to the ten people with leprosy came to Jesus (Luk17:11-21) seeking healing. Jesus told them, 'Go and sit yourselves to the priest'(v14). While they were on their way, they were healed(v14). Those patients of leprosy had to trust and hope in the prospects of their healing at the words of Jesus. That was what happened while they were on their way. It is only when we are willing to be unsettled from our preferred positions or locations a change or progress can be made. It is not others or our circumstances which limit our prospects or enlargement but we ourselves by our insistence on our perspectives or thoughts or beliefs.
That was the difficulty with a man who was lying beside Bethesda pool, with an illness history of thirty eight years, who said to Jesus, ' Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred, but while I am coming, another steps down before me' (John5:7). He found others as the reason for him not being able to get into the pool. He was sick and sickness froze him into inaction and complaining. That is the opposite of being on the way of recovery or renewal. This man reinforced himself to live in his helpless position and thrive on pity or benevolence.
I remember the Dr MGR Medical university rejecting my application for registering for Phd in Neurology in 1990 on the basis that my post graduate qualification was not recognised by the Indian Medical Council. I had a national board qualification as well, which should have made me eligible. But that did not satisfy the authorities. I felt dejected. While talking about it to the professor under whom I was to pursue my research, he got in touch with the the Vice-chancellor, who invited me to his chamber in the afternoon on the same day. He apologised me for the inconvenience and saw no reason for refusing me registration. I had given up on pursuing the research programme as the other officials delayed the process for six months till I met the Vice-cahncelloer. It was meeting the professor which reinitiated the process. All of us can do something to help ourselves, which then becomes a means for others to help us and for God to prosper our ways.
Naomi is an inspiration because of the sense of mission with which she was pursuing to support and empower Ruth and Orpah, triumphing over her disappointments.
3. Birth of a new relationship
Naomi was in a final stage of closure of her relationship with her two daughters-in-laws, when she told them, 'Go return each of you to her mother's house, ..May the Lord grant that you may find rest each in the house of her husband' (v8-9). Naomi kissed them farewell, but both of them desired to go with her to her people. It was during the second round of conversation something significant happened in the way Naomi rented her relationships with both of them. While speaking to them again, Naomi addressed them as 'my daughters'(v13). What followed was a consequence of this.
Both Ruth and Orpah would have been touched by Naomi's affectionate appeal to them to prepare themselves for a future beyond the sorrow they suffered on account of the loss of their husbands. To have been addressed as daughters was more than just a change in terminology, but much beyond that. Naomi by receiving them as her daughters were reaching out to them to help them to have a future than remain as widows. It was not an easy experience for Naomi. She had two sons and she lost them. Now to adopt two daughters into her life, who were widows and she herself without her husband was a demanding call. But this is the mother's heart. A mother would make any adjustments for her family. I have not seen as much of such self giving elsewhere. Naomi even in her loss looked beyond herself and offered to be available to them.
When Naomi gave Ruth and Orpah the status of being her daughters, Ruth received the offer and clung to Naomi, while Orpah kissed her to say farewell(v14). I have often wondered how Orpah at that occasion chose to part with Naomi. This is a turning point in the story of Naomi. Naomi in blessing both of them opened before them the vision of the house of their husband(v9). Orpah fell for that and Ruth chose to be with Naomi. Both choices are fully justifiable, however, this is where the difference would matter for the future. Orpah fades into the background in Biblical history following this and Ruth became part of the lineage of Jesus of Nazareth. Every decision we make carries has its own significance. That is why life choices are never to be taken lightly.
Yesterday an intern dropped in to say that he wanted to be a surgeon who would be known for his skills, good operating results and service. I thought he chose well for himself. In the conversation that followed I realised that he was not enamoured by the material aspects of life and the status that medical professionals seek after socially. I came across another person a day before, who has his eyes fixed on the 'good things' of life and did not refer to any consciousness of service in his outlook.
Ruth was offered the role of a daughter in Naomi's life which she gratefully accepted and proceeded to make a response from her heart to Naomi: '..where you go I will go, and where yo lodge, I will lodge, your people shall be my people and your God my God' (16). Ruth went on to make a life long commitment to Naomi, '..if anything but death parts you and me'(v17). Naomi who was insisting on both Ruth and Orpah to return to their people, no longer persuaded Ruth to do so, after this.(v18). That was the beginning of a new relationship.
All relationships are reciprocal and mutual. I have a Swiss friend, now in his early eighties, who after losing his wife a few years back decided to invest his time on men who live single after the death of their spouse or after divorce. He reached out to about 20 of them he knew who lived in his village, out of which about five of them had invested in making the relationship mutual. One outcome of this was opportunity to grow together as senior citizens. That has reduced the sense of void in their lies and are grateful to each other for bringing cheer and deluging. It was anew beginning for my friend.
Some relationships can remain submerged in misunderstanding, suspicion or in anger. There are prospects for such relationships to become more sober and relevant.
Naomi is an example for all mothers to revive their relationships with their son-in-law and daughter -in-law!
4. Returning to Bethlehem
Both Ruth and Naomi arrived in Bethlehem to find that the city was stirred because of them(v19) so much so some women asked 'is it Naomi'!
This appears a strange phenomenon. Naomi returned as a widow without her two sons. This aroused curiosity and judgement. A widow was less in status among women, which is why some women were curious to make some disgraceful comments. Those who receive social approval are those who return after obtaining laurels in there lives. When Naomi returned with with a story of loss, there was more arousal of curiosity rather than consideration.
Naomi had an equal status like anyone else in the town of Bethlehem as her husband belonged to that place. I have often pondered over the reasons of stirring that accompanied the arrival of Naomi and Ruth. there could be many reasons. Let me suggest three.
First, Naomi's new status as a widow called for special attention in jewish practices. The prophetic call was, 'Learn to do good, seek justice, reprove the ruthless, defend the orphan and lead fo rah widow' (Isa1:17). So arrival of two widows in to their midst after a long sojourn increased the social responsibility of the community. The stirring was a reaction to what was needed to create space and social security for them.
Second reason is well illustrated in the story of a widow who used to come to a judge, seeking legal protection from her opponent (Luk18:2-5). It was common for widows to experience harassment over claims of property, inheritance, etc. There would have been some who were disturbed over having to return to Naomi property or wealth that others they for a while in Naomi's or her husband's absence. It was unsettling for some who would feel their loss on account of this. Elimelech belonged to a family of great wealth (Ruth 2 :1).
A third reason would have been on account of Ruth a Moabite woman, who too was a widow. According to Jewish custom, such a person who became a widow had to be redeemed by a relative (Ruth 4:13). In this process, there is an allotment of wealth and property to such a person, which too would have unsettled some.
For Naomi returning to Bethlehem was home coming. But for the people of Bethlehem, it meant something different from that. It is unfortunate that people cannot often go beyond their own immediate aspirations. The inclusiveness that we speak about is no where to be seen in the attitude of people of Bethlehem when two widows came to be in heir midst.
I remember my own experiences when I returned to live in the village where I grew up after an absence of forty five ears. I was overcome by demands of entitlements by people who were associated with my parents. There were a few who welcomed us and offered some support where as most people viewed us from a utilitarian mind set. But a neighbour who drives an auto-rikshaw surprised us during the last seven years with his kindness and thoughtfulness. A taxi driver has been gracious and helpful. A plumber and an electrician are now friends.
I have had at least seventeen colleagues who worked for a year or two in the department who now live in different places inside and outside the country. At the time of their farewell, most of them invariably recalled how they were received when they came to join for work. Usually my colleagues made it easy and transitional for them. For most of them, it was a first time experience of working as professionals after completing their training.
All of us are used to welcoming visitors and friends. What stays with them is the memory of our hospitality and thoughtfulness during such visits. It is often difficult to give undivided attention, as interruptions like telephone calls can take away the focus.
From the story of Naomi, Bethlehem is a symbol of place, people and provisions. All of us have such situations to which we have attachments. We treasure such situations when we are in a state of stress, need or transition. Anna and I have found visiting Katharine and Peter Makower in London a special experiences because they are effusive with hospitality. During the few days we spend with them, their hoe revolves around us and efforts to include us into their lives and experiences.
All of us need such special places of acceptance and affirmation to belong to.
5. Naomi a creative confessor
The first response of Naomi to people who might have been agitated over her state of affairs, was 'Do not call me Naomi, call me Mara, for the almighty has dealt bitterly with me. I went out full, but the Lord has brought me back empty..'(v 20, 21).
Naomi (pleasant) became Mara (bitter) during her sojourn in Moab. I like the utter honesty with which she made this public confession about herself, her God and and her state of 'poverty'. It is not often we come across such a transparent confession about one's own intimate experience of God.
Although she has enough reasons to be bitter, we do not see her expressing that in her dating with Ruth or Orpah. Instead, we come across Naomi as a gracious, thoughtful and generous in words and deed.
How is that the bitter experiences she went through did not make her bitter person! Let me suggest three reflections on this:
Naomi was aware of her immediate situation and responsibility towards her two daughters-in-law. To have two young widows under her care was a responsibility and calling. Whatever might have been the intensity of her personal loss and grief, Naomi sensed the enormous loss her daughters-in-law suffered with many years ahed of them. Her own needs got subsumed in the immediate needs of Ruth and Orpah.
Naomi gave herself time and space to make a transition. There was no hurry to close the chapter of her life of ten or more years in Moab immediately after she lost her husband or sons. She allowed time to become her healer. In fact her two star conversations would have taken place over a stretch of time interspersed with travel since they decided to leave Moab.
Naomi was an honest communicator to her two daughters-in-law. We see Naomi exercising good practices in counselling, discernment and conversation. Naomi was a feeler and an empathiser. She saw the needs of her daughters-in-law and foresaw a future for them. For her to 'rename' herself Mara, and publicly declare it was not easy as her original name stood for 'pleasantness'. I find her sober, solemn and as a woman of solitude who discovered that she could hold together 'bitterness' and pleasantness' in her journey of life, where God would converge all experiences for the ultimate common good. I find in her a mark of saintliness because even though she came face to face with God through her bitter experiences, she turned that in to a victory journey for her two daughters-in-law. Hers was an experience of vicarious suffering.
Dr Ray Windsor, a cardio-thoracic surgeon of some eminence from NewZeland came to look for a job in CMC, Vellore as he felt called to come to India at a time when cardio-thoracic surgery was still evolving India. It was in the early nineteen sixties. For some reason he was not welcomed to join CMC although the department of cardio-thoracic surgery needed an upgrading with by-pass surgery at that time. Later he became the founding professor of cardio-thoracic surgery in the Post Graduate Institute of Medical Education, Chandigarh. Although I had several meetings with him over a period of twenty years and talked about his first experience at CMC Vellore, I do not remember him talking about this experience with any bitterness. He had regrets and doubts about the leading he felt to resign his job in New Zealand, which too faded away over a period of time. Later he became the international director of the Bible Medical Missionary Fellowship (currently Interserve). It was during his term of office there was a new thrust to invite medical professionals to come to rural India. Dr. Windsor envisioned the formation of the Emmanuel Hospital Association, which is a federation of about thirty hospitals in north India. At the time of him leaving India, I remember meeting him. Dr Windsor left aIndia as a person who experienced nearness to God through his experiences in India.
St Paul was a creative confessor who said: 'I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need' (Phil 4: 12). To be able to hold together diverse experiences in an integrated way is what make life to be a 'light and salt'.
Naomi was one such person who experienced pleasantness and bitterness, both together becoming formative to make her a gracious woman who planned the rescue mission for her two daughters-in-law. She went even further to enable one of them Ruth to rebuild her life in a foreign land. What Ruth did to her mother-in-law, was what attracted the attention of Boaz, who as her kinsmen told her, 'All that you have done for your mother-in-law after the death of your husband has been fully reported to me, and how you left your father and mother and the land of your birth, and came to a people that you did not previously know'(Rut 2:11). This glorious testimony about Ruth was a tribute to Naomi who accomapnied Ruth in transforming her grief into hope.
I dedicate this flower bunch from our garden to the memory of Naomi, who learned to integrate pleasantness and bitterness in her life and made other people richer through her self giving.
Naomi is an archetype of Jesus of Nazareth, because her mission was to rebuild the life of Ruth
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
No comments:
Post a Comment