I left the camera on the table and a colleague clicked this photo as I was getting ready to close the day around five in the evening. Each day, when I make a manual entry into the register I keep with the details of children I welcome for consultation, is also a time to recollect the events of the day.
Let me share a conversation which was the highlight of the day.
A mother who had a twin pregnancy at forty eight years of age , after 22 years of marriage, following treatment for infertility, delivered them prematurely at seven months. From five months onwards she needed hospitalisation as one of the babies was suspected to have reduced foetal blood circulation. She took leave for conceiving and subsequently lost her job. Her husband had to be with her during her hospitalisation and for several months after the children were born. So he too lost his job. The seventy days of care of the infants in the neonatal special care consumed all their savings.
The first twin has had developmental needs, for which she has sought help from different specialists for the last nine years. He has an extrapyramidal form of Central Motor Dysfunction with involuntary movements. He does well academically and has attained good grades inspite of his difficulty to write. He moves with some difficulty as the involuntary movement of the neck alter his body balance. He does not show much of the strain he might have in walking, because he has a resolve to overcome the challenges. He communicated well about his experiences at school.
The mother during her narration of events in her life made a mention of the joint family that she is part of. It is her husband's brother who takes care of the financial needs of the family to a large extent, as her husband was not able to get back to a regular job after he lost his job. She too was not able to return to work due to the demands on her in attending to the needs of children.
A tearful mother, a caring joint family, committed parents for the wellness of their child and a resilient mother who has turned her struggles into a challenge- that is how I recalled that conversation while I was making the entry in the register.
I met with the other twin and the father before concluding the consultation, both of whom had an unusual cheer and enthusiasm.
That is when it occurred to me that this mother refused to be in a victim role, but rose to the occasion to be a resource for the family. Her children bear the marks of the cheerful spirit of the mother.
One or two consultations each day is a sacred experience, knowing the way a family functions amidst the difficult situations. The sorrow is partly subsumed in the new strength they find to live in hope and purpose.
I have often asked this question in the fortieth year of my full time involvement with children, who are developmentally challenged: what makes me to continue amidst the stories of sadness and disappointments!
It is the stories of a few families each day, I listen to, which inspire me to find God at work in the lives of families. They live beyond their sorrow because they find meaning and purpose by being voyagers in to the horizon beyond the usual!
When the family said farewell at the end of the meeting told me, 'We want to come back to meet again'! They made me feel valued! I felt touched by the joy of living they communicate!
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
Thanks for sharing such a wonderful experience that I can relate in my interactions with many of my patients who have sustained life changing injuries causing significant disruption to their own lives and that of their families. I often where they get their strength though have no doubt that I get mine from them.
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