I watched a pair of parakeets during their search for a nest. The first visit was to a coconut palm tree where an earlier nest existed. After moving around the stem and looking at the hollows in the stem, they seemed not inclined to choose. The parakeet on the top of the trunk gave a whistle, looking downward and instantly both of them flew to another coconut palm which too had some gaping holes in the stem
The inspection of the pre-existing nests in the other stem looked more meticulous. One of the parakeets peeped into one nest and they flew away into their flight path after that.
I shall look out if they choose one of these nests for the coming winter!
It is this which is not forthcoming when I listen to some families. During critical periods of life events, I suspect that partnering and communicating between husband and wife need more attention. I currently live in a culture where lot of decisions related to choice of partners, life after marriage and choice of setting up home are under the external influences of their parents, extended family or job location.
In an audit of fifty families who recently visited us in one week, only nineteen families had both husband and wife living together and taking responsibility for their children. The rest had only one parent available or both parents absent with grandparents or uncles or aunts taking care of a child.
I find this as a crisis situation. To leave children to the care of any one else is not consistent with the calling of family life. Children belong to parents and only in an exceptional situation can parents entrust the upbringing of thier child to anyone else in the family.
Watching this pair of parakeets preparing to set up their home brought these hurting memories of conversations.
In my enquiry, I found three reasons why parents are forced to stay away form their children. The compulsion to earn better salary to build a larger house, an obligation to educate younger siblings or return a loan taken from the bank for college education!
When I see the large edifices of churches and the property around some churches, I realise how rich some congregations are. Some of them build commercial buildings in their property to increase their income. Some churches are steeped in corrupt practices so much so in the recent months some Bishops are under investigation for fraudulent practices.
What if these rich congregations offer to oversee supporting students in their congregations who need bank loans to study, by offering loans at no interest, to be paid back over twenty years or so!
I remember my undergraduate study season in medicine. I was given a merit scholarship by the government of India. It was offered to children of teachers as a goodwill gesture. The monthly teacher's salary was around five hundred rupees at that time. I was required to refund the amount over 25 years. If after becoming a doctor, the scholar joined a teaching profession it was not required to be repaid. The college fees and hostel fees including food in a year was only rupees fifteen thousand. My scholarship covered most of it.
A medical student spend about forty five lacs of rupees for five year undergraduate training currently. It might be around twenty five lakhs if it is in government medical college. I cannot fathom this strangulating experience which students go through. By the time he or she finishes a post graduate training he or she starts with a huge educational loan because of which all focus is on paying back the loan.
When a person starts with such a financial load and burden, all matters related to building a family get subservient to paying back bank loan.
If we expect doctors to 'consecrate their life for the service of humanity', as stated ion the code of ethics, we need to give them education at an affordable cost. During my days of undergraduate training, there were only sixty medical colleges in India and eighty five percent of them were in the government sector. The government subsidised the medical education to create a social consciousness in doctors. Today we have nearly seven hundred medical colleges in India and seventy five percent of them are in the private sector. This reversal had made education unaffordable for a middle income family, except by taking loans.
No country can afford this one sided perspective on medical education- to train doctors by making education expensive and still expect them to be socially minded with an altruistic calling!
I think of the parakeets. Planing for their home and family! They borrow the nest left by other birds. They receive what others provide.
When will our rich churches come to pay attention to helping students from the burden of debt trap they fall into, while pursuing their education!
At the MOSC Medical College, there is a provision for students to avail scholarships with a service commitment for two years. What a relief and gift this is to the deserving students!
M.C.Mathew (text and photo)
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