Being single!

Some rose bushes in our garden have single flowers without even a bud along with it. This is an unusual sight as most flowers are found in a pair or in a bunch!

I come across many families where a child grows up with single parents. The absence of a parent might be temporary or permanent. 

I have visits from some families where men or women live, having been separated from the spouses. 

I do meet with single older men and women who take care of their nephews and nieces to substitute for their parents who are working somewhere else. 

As I listen to the stories of complex situations, I have had several questions surfacing in my mind about single people living without an experience of fulfilment or purposefulness. 

The images I have of the single flowers narrated me a story that I had not considered earlier. Each of these flowers adds richness to the garden. Somehow these single flowers have something unusual about them, whether it be colour or fragrance or the formation and arrangement of their petals.

It is this that came home to me yesterday when an aunt who is taking of her niece talked about the enormous sense of purpose she found in accompanying her niece and supporting her to adjust to her special needs in communication. The only meaningful way this nine years old child can communicate is through drawing and making designs. Seeing some of those drawings, I realised how concrete and concise she was in her thoughts and dreams. Her aunt  has a  gift to interpret those drawings and give a feed back to the child who would then smile and clap to indicate her delight in being understood by her aunt.  

It was while listening to this single woman I got a sense of finding a purpose or a mission when  her longing to have her own family has not yet materialised.   

I want to remember all the single people, men and women who either by choice or by force circumstances remain single. To me, they are often path finders and companions to others who are seeking to find meaning for their existence. 

Singleness is a gift to others. 

Most people choose to be single or happen to be single can find a vocation. I am surprised the way how they live mindful of others by becoming a gift to others. The stories of some of them whom I know have legendary roles of self giving that too lived unknown to many! 

Life whether single or lived in a family can be purposeful if we find life to be a means for growing in consciousness at three levels- self, neighbours and God of our lives! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)