Remembering Friends-2

Dear George,

Greetings,

I have been writing letters since I turned seventy, to friends with whom I have had some association and from whom I received encouragement. You have been one of them, whom I want to remember and express my gratitude. 

I have a vague memory that I met you for the first time when, Anna and I used to visit CMC when Arpit was a medical student and we lived in Chennai. You met us after the selection of Arpit into CMC and complimented us for helping him to become what he had become. You were generous with your words and brought much encouragement to us. You chose Arpit to be included in your foster family, which was another source of indirect contact with you and your family. 

One instance which I still recall was when we came to attend the Easter musical in 1994, when you were involved with Arpit to help in the production of the musical. The musical was a moving experience and it did show forth your musical and organizational skills. I knew that you kept the Christin ethos in the centre of your work and life in CMC. You were a formative influence in the life of students and faculty by your friendly and thoughtful ways. 

There were occasional contacts with you when I used to come to attend the CMC Council. I got a sense every time that I met you, that you were a people friendly person, committed to see others prosper and move on in life.

It was when I joined CMC in 1997, I began to have more contact with you. You visited us once during the initial months of our stay and invited us to visit you and stay in touch. That meant a lot to us because we were only getting used to CMC and its ethos at that time. That was the beginning of all that followed thereafter.

Following your nomination to be the director, I remember meeting with you at your home and office now and them to share about areas of common interest particularly being supportive of younger faculty and develop more regular contacts with them. I remember you inviting Anna and me for lunch at the Hospital canteen when you asked whether I would offer to be available to be involved in the director’s team. I had considerable reservation because I was still new to CMC and I had challenges in the department, which was just evolving to run a fellowship programme. You prevailed over me and that was the beginning of the next three years of being part of your team. 

The first thought you shared with me was to be in touch with the middle level faculty, which I too found helpful. There were valuable contacts with some of them which helped in understanding their aspirations. That led to the series of retreats, 23 or so spread over 20 months. I was encouraged by your desire to connect with the community and to revive the ethos and calling of the faculty. Those occasions were special because you were present and fully involved to support the faculty who had special situations of need. It was also an occasion to identify the leadership skills of some people through those retreats, who later became available to be involved in administrative responsibilities at CMC.

I was more than surprised when you asked me to represent you at the Friends of Vellore meetings in Australia in 2007, as you had other engagements during the dates suggested by the Friends of Vellore. One particle message you and for me was to contact Dr J.V.Peter an alumni of CMC in Adelaide and invite him to come back and join CMC Vellore. I conveyed your invitation to which he responded a few years later. Your decision provided another able professional who grew in stature over the years to become an able director of CMC Vellore. I continue to be amazed by your skills to locate people of significance for institutions. This is what you continue to do at Believer's Medical College. You created a team of professionals in that young medical college to give it an edge over other well established medical colleges in Kerala.

I found you approachable and interested to discuss many issues related n the human resource planning. That is how some regularization of contact with the faculty who were in study leave emerged; even a placement strategy to find a suitable place for study leave at the initiative of the institution rather than leaving it entirely to individuals. I was encouraged by your interest to help as many as possible even if it was outside the frame of the existing provisions. You created a culture of reaching out to others, visiting each other, creating social occasions to enlarge contacts between faculty. The atmosphere in CMC was becoming people focussed. That was the time the hospital out-patient number was swelling and the hospital income was going upward. 

You envisioned the need to have more space and facilities. You followed up on the idea of having a project at Kanigapuram.  Although it did not materialise then and the director after you did not take this forward, it did come to fruition later. You saw a need and although the community took another seven years to respond to it, the credit goes to you for planting this idea for CMC to pursue. I remember some of your presentations about the future of CMC nearing the end of your term in the office. They were factual and inspirational. I remember how some colleagues made it difficult for you, but you patiently endured it. 

I recall the stressful situation you went through on account of the admission related set back, in which two former directors were holding a polarised position and one of them was ready to take CMC to High court. When I approached you to negotiate between them, you did welcome my initiative, although by then I had left your administrative team.   You showed readiness to call an executive meeting which was the ‘demand’ of a former director to present his points of view about the ‘irregularities in the admission process’, to which you graciously consented, although it was ‘giving into’ his pressure. I was amazed at your inner resilience to go through those difficult days with patience and tolerance. There were occasions, when you did not receive the trust you deserved even form some of your colleagues. You had to face the consequences of the lapses of the Principal’s office and the unreasonable positions of the two former directors. You were magnanimous and amazingly patient at hose difficult times. I feel encouraged by your good example every time I think of it.  

I want to remember how supportive you were to the Developmental Paediatrics unit, when we were ready to start a fellowship and a PhD programme. As one senior administrator was not convinced about its need or its viability, you went out of your way to facilitate this. Thank you for trusting me and our resources to take that step, which helped to establish the discipline of the Developmental Paediatrics in India and to run the first training programme in this discipline in India. They were difficult days. But for your resolve to be helpful, that directional change would not have been possible. 

I am grateful for your wise handling of another stressful situation threatening the future of Developmental Paediatrics in CMC. There were objections from the psychiatry department for us starting the fellowship programme or PhD. The Child Health department too had questions about our competency to go the academic way. Amidst these strong objections, you stood by me to pursue the academic initiatives. I want to appreciate you for giving me an opportunity to move forward, which is what helped us to get three consultants trained, out of which two of them continue in the department at CMC, giving leadership in this specialty in the country. This also led to two consultants finishing their PhD in the specialty. It is only in CMC among medical colleges in India, there is a core team of trained professionals with academic credentials in this sub-specialty of Paediatrics. Thank you George, for facilitating the birth of this academic specialty in India and being a midwife for it at CMC.

The next significant contact with you was when I needed by-pass surgery at Chennai. You facilitated everything so well that you turned a stressful situation into something bearable and manageable. You even allowed Anna to use your home as her base. You were remarkable with help and support, which to me was an important factor for the wellness I experienced during that time. Anna and I are grateful for your hospitality and welcome you offered to us at a time when we needed it most. 

I remember visiting Believer’s Hospital for a workshop in Foeto-maternal medicine. You went out of your way to welcome me in a special way. You arranged for me to stay in your apartment. You organized campus visit for me. This is your style, the way you make others feel welcome and looked after. I was touched by that extra-ordinary care. 

During my involvement in the CMC Council you reached out to me on a few occasions to support me when I was finding the going difficult with pulls and pressures. You had something special to say to me on a few occasions. I have regrets about the way my association with CMC ended in difficult circumstances. Thank you for encouragement and counsel you offered when I needed it.

Your home in CMC campus was a place Anna and I could drop in at any time. Neena was warm and cordial all the time. We loved having contacts with your children. They are adorable children. Neena’s friendliness and thoughtfulness stay with us in our memory.

We watched you cope with various demands and changes in your life. You went through all of them with ease and trust in God. You remained warm and mindful of others even in times of transition.

I am not sure if our paths would cross again. We live in uncertain times. With the corona infection is taking us by surprise in a devastating way, what holds for our future Is not known to us. I wanted to say from my hart how much Anna and I feel blessed by our contacts with you over these years.

I would have hurt you or disappointed you during my time in the director’s office. I am sorry for that. I apologise for making it difficult for you sometimes. Thank you for trusting me and inviting me to be associated with you. I remain grateful to you for your friendship and kindness. 

You have many years ahead of you in your profession and in your leadership roles. May you remain well and blessed to inspire and enable others n doing good. Let your Good Samaritan spirit be an example to many. Anna and I thank you profusely and keep you in our thoughts.

With regards and good wishes, 

M.C.Mathew, 18.4.2020