'When therefore it was evening on the first day of the week, and when the doors were shut, where the disciples were, for fear of the jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, "Peace be with you" ' (John:20.19)
This surprise appearance of Jesus to the disciples in the evening of the day of resurrection was a turning point in the lives of the disciples.
The disciples were afraid and was in an enclosed room. It was evening and the resurrection news had not restored their joy and hope. They might have been in the shadow of a gloom having witnessed the events of Gethsemne and Golgotha.
The picture in this blog is one of the unusually colourful pictures I have of the dawn in our garden on a winter morning. The bud is still in its early stage. A bud represents the earliest stage of a flower.
I turn to the disciples to consider that fear would be the earliest or first experience following an extra-ordinary event. The resurrection of Jesus was one such historical extra-ordinary event. It was a time to reconcile with the whole truth of the teachings of Jesus and accept them as the foundation of their faith. Until now, although Jesus spoke about His death and resurrection, they had to wait to experience it in full reality. They were placed in a situation of a choice in their lives! Now that the resurrection of Jesus attested Him to be the saviour and Messiah, the disciples had to make a choice as to whether they would continue to bear witness to Jesus or succumb to the pressure of the chief priests to denounce Him! They also would have doubted their own endurance level to proclaim this good news of resurrection, which the authorities were bent on concealing, by bribing the soldiers to spread the news that the disciples of Jesus had taken way his body.
How could they have the joy and the unction of resurrection in their hearts when they were shaken badly and were in disarray!
The appearance of Jesus to His disciples in the closed room brought three clarifications to the disciples. Jesus was their Good shepherd ; Jesus was still present with them; Believing without seeing
Jesus was their good shepherd. Jesus had overcome His cross. Now it was the disciples who had to prepare themselves to face their cross. If their saviour suffered a violent death at the hands of the authorities, the disciples too could expect to have a similar trial ahead of them. It was in this context Jesus came searching for them and brought the message of peace to their hearts. The 'disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord' (v20). Not that joy dispels fear altogether, but it kindles hope and trust sufficient enough to take the next from being frozen by fear. That was what we read form this passage. The long conversation with Thomas in this passage was a conversation of affirmation and enablement. Jesus reached to their level of despair, doubt or dilemma and became a balm of comfort and encouragement. This is one of the the ways of God- God surprises us by His visitation at a least expected time but at the most needy time of our lives! That is why He is still the good shepherd to all of us.
Jesus was still present with them. The time of His physical presence with them was about to be over with His ascension. But His mystical presence was to be with them for ever. Jesus appearing to them through the shut door was an announcement of the change in the nature the presence of Jesus with them from then onwards. He would be ever present with them through the Holy Spirit, the counsellor and comforter. This was a transition time for the disciples to prepare themselves to receive the transcendent Christ in to their lives. This was a time for transition from the physical presence to the physical absence of Jesus in one sense. In another sense, the disciples were to experience a new consciousness of the Omnipresence of Christ. This was puzzling to the disciples. That was why Thomas wanted to feel the wounds of Jesus, because they were still in the physical realm and yet to comprehend the fullness of the nature of the glorified the Christ. Following His suffering, death and resurrection, the incarnate Christ was the glorified Christ. What a blessing to have a new consciousness of Christ the glorified, yet ever present with them and us!
Believing without seeing. Jesus had a parting message for the disciples in John: 20.29. 'Because you have seen me, have you believed? Blessed are they who did not see and yet believed'. The sense of the physical absence or not sensing the presence of God are realities the followers of Jesus would face some time or other in their faith journey, It is to this experience, Jesus referred to here about believing without seeing. For a spiritual pilgrim believing is a natural part of the journey in faith. But John of the cross, refers to a phase of darkness in a pilgrim's journey and Mother Teresa experienced this for a long time in her life. For her it was a lack of awareness of the presence of Jesus in her consciousness. This made her to stay faithful in her meditation and prayer practices and to live believing on Him who had blessed her with a sense of His presence in the several early years of her life.
Dr A.K.Tharien shared with me a year before his home call something intimate to his heart. He felt a distance from God and as it carried on, he felt that he needed to withdraw from many of his public engagements. I remember him saying farewell to the CMC Vellore council of which he was a member for thirty five years. After he did withdraw from his travelling and other engagements, he experienced an interior wellness that he had not experienced for a long time. This interior wellness was out of a natural stillness within him during the prayer times and meditation of the scripture. This experience granted him more tolerance towards others, a desire to build bridges with others from whom he was distant, and a desire to meet people and befriend them. This surprised him because a new consciousness of God was dawning on his interior, different from what he was used to. He equated it to the stillness of the sea water at a 20 feet deep. His retreat from activities, which used to consume his full attention masking the consciousness of God within, helped to prepare himself for a longing for God consciousness. What he said further was indeed most special, 'God recedes into a deeper plane of our soul to draws us there for us to experience another level of intimacy with God. If at such occasions we lingered only at the depth of our earlier communion with God, we would naturally experience less consciousness of God because God is waiting deeper in our soul for us to arrive there to meet with Him'.
So believing God without seeing or sensing Him is a normal course in the faith journey. The Psalmist in psalm 63:1 expressed: 'My soul thirsts for Thee, my flesh yearns for Thee in a dry and weary land where there is no water.' His answer to his need was, 'When I remember Thee on my bed, I meditate on Thee in the night watches' (v9).
Let this be an experience for all of us when we loose the sense of God's presence in our consciousness. Not that He is not present, but He has gone ahead of us deeper into our soul, waiting for us to find Him there.
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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