The slow moving Clouds

The early morning sight of the sky, from our courtyard on a moon lit night, caught my attention. The clouds  in columns moving slowly reminded me of a column of police or army men in uniform moving along, while on a parade. 

This slow motion movement of the sky had something special about it. The orderly fashion tin which the clouds moved was a sight with a message. 

The slowness and the self sustained momentum were  unusual to a behold. 

I remembered how  a child learns to walk, who takes each step carefully and keeps a slow and measured movement forward. I also noticed that those children who are deliberately slow and take shorter strides while learning to walk fall less number of times, than those who are in a hurry to walk. 

The outer pace is a reflection of the inner orientation. 

A verse from the epistle of James in the New Testament of the Bible came to my mind at this time: 'Let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger '(James 1: 19).

The quickness to listen is closely associated with with slowness to speak. I thought of the frequent interruptions I cause while others speak, because of my keenness to want to speak. The listening attitude springs from a desire to listen to art is spoken, not spoken and feel what w hear to receive the message spoken and concealed, which normally needs time. 

One good conversational practice that counsellors advise us is to allow about ten seconds or more space before we speak after a person stopped speaking. This gap of silence makes us to listen to our thoughts and feelings within and orientate ourselves to what might be an affirming response to the other person. It is also a good practice to speak only for a minute or less, so that the listener receives the whole message. Otherwise the earlier part of what was spoken can be  forgotten when the speaking is prolonged. In the couple's communication exercise, there is one activity of timed conversation, when a person speaks a few sentences followed by a pause before the other person speaks.  The in between times are listing times and the speaking time is the hearing time. 

I realise that the normal tendency is to interrupt the speaker with an impulsive response. This is one reason, why listening does not take place but conversation turns into an argument or debate. 

All of us long to be listened to!

The best gift we can offer to others is, the gift of listening when they speak!

The slowness to speak and quickness to listen is a skill, when cultivated would make us feel how just listening is good enough and responses might not be needed, as the person through his or her talking has heard himself and is already clear about what he or she was searching after! The gift of silent and attentive listening helps the one speaking to feel supported to find a way forward!

Lot of conversation and little outcome! Or better listening and more benefit to the speaker and the listener!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)