I was able to watch yesterday this butterfly hovering around the butter cup flowers in our garden. It turned out to be a metaphorical experience for me.
During the movements of the butterfly it acquired different positions which gave a full exposure of its colours, designs and movements. The movements were more than I could capture through the lens. Its disclosure of itself during movements and receiving nectar from the flowers gave away a lot about its habit and practices.
This became a metaphorical story of self disclosure.
It is the way I think, behave, relate, speak, listen, read, write, and conduct myself privately and publicly, I make incremental self disclosure about myself. I paused to think about this for a while.
When a seed sprouts in the ground it makes a self disclosure about its species, growth pattern, flowering, fruits, etc.
When baby is born he or she makes self disclosure through crying while hungry, feeling consoled when carried, whimpering when wet, crying out for attention, etc. We get to know baby in the way he or she behaves.
Anna and I while walking Dulcie and Daffny yesterday evening, both of them made self disclosures. Dulcy barked looking at the gate which was an indication that she wanted to have a stroll outside the gate. Daffny was going towards her kennel yard, and did not return when we called her. She was thirsty and returned after a drink.
Our behaviour is a summary of our self disclosure.
How does this self disclosure help each of us in our personal development!
A mother told me about an event in her home. On the first day of the new school year in June 2023, her seven years old son returned home sad. It took a while for his mother to get him to talk about it. His friend who sits next to him in the class, came to the class with an old school bag, where as her son went to school with a new bag. Her son felt so bad that he wanted to give his last year's bag to his friend which was in a better condition than his friend's bag. When his father returned his mother and father decided to buy his friend a bag and take to his home. They having known the touch and go financial situation of that family felt for them through the empathy they noticed in their son. That was what they did in the evening.
The story has another side, which his mother concealed from me initially. On asking how their son felt next morning, with some reluctance, the mother said that he refused to take the pocket money for the snack that they normally give him every day. He said, 'Till I can save half of the cost of the bag, I will skip buying the snack from the school canteen'. He decided to take toast for his snack time, from home.
In this story of self disclosure, I find three lessons. First, a child had a feeling heart, which is a disclosure of the way he experienced his parent's way of caring for others in need. Secondly, an altruistic thought of their son was honoured by the generosity of parents. Thirdly, the boy offered to share the cost to express his gratitude towards his parents for their thoughtful act.
The behaviour of that boy and his parents were expressions of self disclosure. It is through self disclosure the inner consciousness gets expressed to which there would be feedback responses positive or negative from others around.
As I listened to this moving event, narrated by the mother in a humble manner, I was touched to realise that children at seven years too have a moral consciousness of thoughtfulness towards those in need. I thought such a moral awareness occurs little later.
What we do, how we do and when we do are the ways by which we make ourselves known to others. The responses and resonance we receive help us to live more relationally and thoughtfully!
I struggle with this question, how much of myself is being made known through my behaviour! How much of that behaviour is goodness generating is the question that stays with me now.
A butterfly lives and behaves publicly!
There is a message in it for me. To live transparently and mindfully!
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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