The life of a friendship !

I kept watching two Asian Green bee-Eater birds perched in a shrub in the field. The two flew in together and was exchanging bird songs for awhile. Seeing them in that mood of reciprocal communication, I thought of them as a pair. There was a body language of comfort while being with each other. 

With no indication whatsoever, one flew away in one direction, beyond what my eyes could catch its direction in the sky. They are used to fly high in the air. 

The other one kept watching in different directions. I knew from that arial search, it too was getting ready to fly away. However it took a longer time than I thought for it to move. It flew away in another direction.

The arrivals and departures resonated in my thoughts. The two seemed to have had some fraternal ties. But the way they flew away in two different directions indicated otherwise. 

As long as they were together they were communicative. 

I pondered over human relationships. What I hear from families during their narration of their personal stories is the stress over strained relationships within the family and at work place and with neighbours. 

I have begun to consider at the end of fifty years, since I have been associated with large numbers of people in different situations, that most social relationships have a short shelf life. It is with the few we might have cordial and longer relationships. 

A friend whom I first met when he was a student is currently in his sixties. We have had infrequent contacts. In the recent three mails, I noticed that he was longing to catch up. There are many relationships which were good for a season which did not spring up later for reconnecting. 

I feel in hindsight, that it was when I was holding on to a friendship it became a burden to keep up. The expectations in friendships make us long for more contact and communication and the celebration of the richness of the experiences does not happen naturally. Each relationship is worthwhile for that season rather than striving to prolong it with more expectation. 

All of us are voyagers and learners. We grow out of some relationships and would need new style of relationship akin to the inner ambience that expands within.  I meet a few of my class antes at school in the village where I live. We exchange pleasantries, but beyond that there is a boundary. 

I like the message the two bee-Eater birds left for me. Celebrate all friendships and hold on to all friendships loosely and lightly. 

We are to transcend some friendships as dependancy or freedom to be oneself would risk the relationship. 

To receive such relationships through the optic of gratefulness and appreciation would be the ideal attitude!

We might grieve over a lost friendship, but moving on as voyagers in life would need new support system and companionship which provide greater comfort. 

We can turn to be kind hearted and thoughtful in many ways towards those from whose orbit we chose to move away!  

There are times when our path is private and does not concur with that of a former friend !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)