Asking, Giving, Taking and Receiving!

 

Let me begin with an apology for the poor quality of the pictures above. It is because of the lack of skills to take pictures in poor light conditions on a rainy day. Also it was too early in the morning for the natural light fall on the top of a coconut palm on cloudy day.

I watched four features in this splendid scene. 

One wood pecker gave away a bird song which the other perceived as a call for a feed.

The other wood pecker opened its beaks gradually.

The wood pecker picked up its feed from the mouth of the wood pecker who was ready to give. 

The cycle of asking, giving, taking and receiving takes place sometimes noticed.

A child of five years asked me yesterday for the knee hammer I used to examine his tendon reflexes. I gave it to him. He wanted to examine my tendon reflexes for which I gave permission.   He took the freedom to be playful and  received my offer to be a subject for his exploration. After his exploration, he handed me back the hammer and allowed me to continue examining him. It was one experience which brought home to me the mutuality that emerges in human engagement and conversation. 

The one sidedness we sometimes practice to control others by our generosity in giving, does no good to the giver, till the giver is able to receive something in return from the person to whom he or she offered the gift of time, thought, kindness or meeting a need. The giver when received is building mutuality. 

This brings us to the issue that needs attention. Do we give to satisfy our conscience of wanting to be generous or do we give in order awaken the other person to a new reality of being loved and thought about!

The last photo above brings this into sharp focus. Both Wood peckers convey a body language of having been fulfilled and ready for the next move!

I watched the pair in their next flight station shortly after this scene I referred to above. 

This enraged me even more. They were not in a dependent relationship. They were both explorers, but connecting with each other to share moments of intimacy and affection, from which they emerge to be on their own to continue exploring. 

In all relationships there is asking, giving, taking and receiving! And yet there is freedom to be oneself without a feeling of obligation to give or receive !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)