Treasures in darkness !

I watched the changes in the hues of colours in the Hibiscus flower in our garden yesterday evening.At dusk, the plant and the flower had an altogether different look, radiant where the setting sun was casting its rays while the rest of the flower and leaves looked subdued.

The brilliance when the sun rays were directly falling on the flower was striking, but the radiance when the sun rays were falling from one side superseded the earlier appearance.It was the relative darkness all around it that gave the a flower and the exposed parts of the leaves a distinguishing look. 

Yes there are treasures in darkness. 

I am through a rather difficult season of three weeks in my life. It was like walking through darkness.All my regular rhythm got stranded and suspended in the milieu of the inner storm within me.

There were some recognisable reasons. One child of 8 years who visited us in the department often for his learning related needs developed acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia. The context in which this happened added to its adverse impact on me. His mother telephoned to say that the boy was feeling tired for two weeks. A boy who normally was hyperkinetic and could not be restrained to be still for a while preferred to lie in bed. I asked for blood tests and peripheral blood picture examination which showed 25 percent blast cells with signs of severe anaemia. Although the diagnosis could be made in 24 hours after the mother informed me about his tiredness, the mother felt guilty for ignoring his tiredness for over two weeks. I was able to get in touch with a haematologist trained at CMC Vellore, currently working in a hospital close by and seek his help. Now the child is on his induction therapy. 

The cost of the treatment is far too high for the parents to bear. So there was need to get some help from philanthropists to help the family.The contributions are not going to be enough to see him through the first phase of treatment. The mother sold her ornaments and took a loan from the bank.

There were a train of other events around the same time, which made the darkness intense.They aggravated the inner turmoil. 

It is the seventh year since I have been involved in helping to start and organise the activities of the developmental paediatrics and child neurology department. The department is fairly stable. I am older now and feel ready to move on.The call from within to move on is strong now. The two paediatricians who are in training would take at least one more year to return. It seems a long wait! 

As I watched the Hibiscus flower take a differential  brilliance on its petals, I felt drawn by its mystery. The similar looking petals in normal day light, received a new hue even more radiant than what it looked in the day light! That radiance is interspersed with relative darkness. 

Light and darkness co-exists.

The radiance of the darkness exceeds the brilliance of the daylight!

This is the treasure of darkness! 

After a three weeks gap, when I write this blog, the longest gap I took since I started blogging seven years ago, I realised that I have been through a period of darkness. 

It is when I saw the 'mystery' of the radiance of darkness, I was moved yesterday evening! It was a moment of 'metanoia' leading to a journey of recovery and inner reconciliation. 

Lo, and behold, what awaited me in the morning Bible reading today! 'I will give you the treasures of darkness, and hidden wealth of secret places, in order that you may know that it is I, the Lord, God of Israel, who calls you by your name'(Isaiah 45:3). This statement by prophet Isaiah from his discernment of God brought showers of blessings to my soul. 

I am still recovering from a big haematoma around my hip following a fall three weeks ago! While I kept complaining about pain and restriction of movement, I had not fully grasped the good news that I was protected from any major injury while falling down five feet below from the parapet.The hibiscus flower and the verse above created a new inner optic.

This is the treasure of darkness which ministers to me now!  

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)