As I walked on the courtyard, I noticed black ants crawling over my leg. That is when I remembered that Dulce ran in to the house the previous evening after having been out only for short time in the courtyard. She remembered the risk of being bitten and stayed indoor.
A dog too has a reason to choose its behaviour!
I hear a regular remark from parents, 'our child is insistent and rebellious'!
Does not a child have a right to choose his or her behaviour! Is it not possible that a child has a legitimate reason to choose differently from what parents suggest. They are sometimes unable to express a reason to explain why they might not want to do something that parents 'insist' on! An earlier adverse experience in a similar circumstance would make them fearful, anxious or unwilling to attempt it again.Parents not knowing about it might force a decision on a child.
I often wonder who is insistent! Parents or a child!
I am inclined to consider that parents are in the habit of imposing decisions on a child without taking time to give a choice or explain the logic behind the choice of parents.
All children from infancy till about ten years struggle to match up with the rationale approach to any decisions. They go by the 'face value' opinions and choose to behave impulsively. A mother told me that when ever it is raining the child goes into the rain and splashes water with his feet. I enquired whether they allow their son to play in the water before and after the bath! The answer was 'No', because he will 'catch a 'cold'. I asked, has he ever got a cold after running out into the rain'! The answer was, 'No'.
A good example of how parents deny children the pleasures of growing up, because they are driven by their unreasonable beliefs and traditions!
Most children do not comply with parent's 'demand' because like Dulce, they too might have a memory of an earlier bad experience!
What if parents are in dialogue with their children! Their children would develop the awareness of reason and thinking and learn to choose on their own!
A hesitant child or struggling child is not a defiant or insistent child, but he or she might be a thinking child who has a reason to behave in a particular way! It is likely that a few of them habitually behave without being conscious of the adverse consequences or harm, their actions can bring to others. This too calls for dialogue and explanation, and not brand a child to be 'insistent' and punish him or her for that! All punishment might seem to have an immediate effect of gain for parents, but we leave an emotional scar on a child.
Any punishment to a child till adolescence has to be with the consensus of the child. It is even wise to let the child choose the punishment after a dialogue so that it creates within him or her a consciousness of self correction in the future!
I got this insight by watching Dulce! Thank you Dulce, my teacher!
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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