Recently two of my colleagues got married and are now in the process of leaving us to go to be with their husbands. I have sensed the 'drawing power' of marriage since their marriage. There is a tangible dimension of both of them living with the consciousness of the new belonging they have discovered. There is a new dimension of joy, peace and hope they communicate.
At he altar when a couple kneel to receive the prayer of blessing after they have spoken the vows to each other, 'I take you as my husband'/wife', a new process of becoming 'one' gets initiated in their relationship.
In a conversation with a person who is married for twenty years, I sensed the quiet confidence the person communicated even though they are facing a struggle about the educational plan they have to make about their teenager. As neither the parents or their teenage child are not clear about what is suitable, they are in dilemma. But how the sense of togetherness as a family in this process of making choices is easing the stress was evident. I realised how intimate this couple is in their relationship because of which the decision would be a consensus.
The marriage vows are just a starting point of this journey of growing in intimacy. I am not sure if I get a sense of this desire to grow in intimacy in many families when they come to consult for the neuro-developmental needs of their children. Often I come across struggling parents bereft of strength form each other.
Marriage empowers so much so one plus one is a larger one ! That is what a five year school boy answered to the question of a teacher in a mathematics class. This surprised the teacher. The child turning to the valley below the school pointed out how one stream from each side of the hill formed a larger stream!
Since I read this in a novel, I have often thought of this parable as a symbol of marriage relationship!
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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