The becoming journey of mid-life !

The mid-life of a Lily flower bunch! Two open and two yet to open!

In a conversation with a professional yesterday, there was an enquiry about the different experiences in mid-life. 

One aspect that needed exploration was to have a vision about what a person is becoming in mid life ! 

In the flower bunch above, the two buds are open,  two are waiting to open. 

There is a two fold mission in mid-life. To be able to have an awareness of who we are now and who we shall become!

The orientation towards who we are now, can  sometimes be clouded by several occupations and demands of daily rhythm of living at home and work place. At mid life, there is a need to have a grateful and celebrant attitude! This appreciative and fulfilled state in one's life is possible when we can see life in all its fullness. There is a convergence of different experiences in mid-life- physical formation, personal formation, educational formation, relational formation, family formation, work-place formation, faith formation, social formation...! So mid life is a season of fullness and most of us will be healthy and well at this season of life. This canvas of fullness is therefore a reality! 

It is from this grounding in fullness of life, we look beyond in the latter part of mid-life. 

Who shall I become now! The lily plant has two more buds ready to open! The mid-life is a season to capture a vision of who shall I become! There is more in life awaiting to unfold! If we have a view of who we can become, the aspirational invitation would carry us forward. The early part of mid-life has been a season of formation and fullness. The latter part of mid life is a season of abundance! We move form fullness to abundance! We would have fulfilled most of our responsibilities of parenting, attended to the needs of the family, found our purpose at the work place, and engaged in opportunities to grow and serve. That season can  lead us into to different pathways. 

One pathway is consolidation of mid-life experiences to live well and be content in that state. 

Another pathway is turn from ourselves to others to be 'elders' to assist in the formation of others who are moving towards mid-life or are in early mid life! The formative process of early mid life is a season of adventures and mishaps. Many get waylaid during the early part of mid-life by the existential demands and compulsions. Those of us who moved through early mid-life in our formative process to experience the abundance in the latter part of mid life, owe to others  to help them navigate the formative process to enter the latter part of mid life to experience joyful transition! 

The fullness of early years of mid life and the abundance of latter years of mid-life become the theme of mid life!

The flowers are a gift of a plant to others !

Who shall I become in mid life ! Through the experience of fullness and abundance to become a gift to others during mid-life! 

So, mid-life's mission is to go beyond the desire of personal gratification to mindful companionship of those who need helping hands in their journey of becoming! 

Anna and I remember Peter and Katharine Makower during this week when Katharine celebrates her ninetieth birthday. We got to know them in our mid forties. Peter and Katharine accompanied us during our years at Chennai, during the early years of our involvement in child development and rehabilitation. They kept our spirit high by self-giving  attitude of regardful and affirming accompaniment, which enabled us to found the Developmental Paediatrics Unit at Christian  Medical College, Vellore during the latter season of of our mid- life! We were almost settling down to enjoy the fruits of our labour in early mid life at Chennai, when the nudge came from a few, who said, ' Does not child development speciality need an academic setting?' Peter and Katharine were active in supporting us during the transition to Vellore in 1997 and subsequently in establishing the academic traditions in the speciality of Developmental Paediatrics at CMC Vellore ! By them Peter and Katharine had retired form their professional work! They took upon the mantle of being 'elders' and accompanied us to go beyond 'ourselves' ! 

If our watchful eyes are on the mid-lifers, they will be enabled to grow up as 'givers'!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)