The changing roles !

Anna and I needed advice and guidance a few weeks ago when we both had a respiratory infection, which appeared resistant to what we did to look after ourselves.  

Lo, and Behold, a friend who is a respiratory physician in a tertiary care hospital came to visit us, as he happened to be visiting his parents. 

He came on the day, when we were planning to go to the hospital for a second opinion. 

He is a friend whom we got to know from his undergraduate days and had become member of the foster family group that was formed for medical students. 

Fifteen years later, we receive medical advice and prompt specialist support at a time when we needed it most ! Three days after following the protocol  he suggested we felt being at the threshold of recovery!

I realised how he was not just a former student whom we knew earlier, but a doctor taking care of us!

It gave a different optic ! A student with whom we were associated as 'teachers' is no more a just a former student. He has become an adult with competency and qualifications in his or her area of specialisation. 

That calls for a transition journey! He received from us earlier; now it is our turn to receive from those whom we knew as students!

In an emotional and cognitive mind set, he or she has transformed to be in a new role with a different status. That is the identity that I felt, that we were enabled to offer to this Respiratory Physician when he visited us! 

This change of roles in life is what senior citizens are invited to receive, as we look back to befriend those whom we knew as students!

M.C.Mathew( text and photo)

The heart of home schooling !

Anna and I had a pleasant surprise of a friend whom we knew during our time at the Christian Medical College, Vellore, who is a Paediatrician trained in the UK and holding a doctorate in Bio-medical engineering, visiting us a few weeks ago. Most of our conversation was on home schooling that she offers to her children. This meant that she stepped back from active clinical work and yet well involved in supporting organisations overseas involved in the home based care of children with neurodevelopmental needs.

I am gathering information about fathers or Mothers who offer home schooling to their children because of their desire to create a better all rounded formation of children in the early years of formal education. There are situations where parents have no option but to opt for home schooling as the local schools do not suit the children well. There are other parents who offer home schooling to give experiences to children well beyond the text booked learning confining themselves to the essentials, which is the pattern in many schools. 

What fascinated us from the visit of this friend was her joyful recollection of how it was a learning for herself. She even talked about knowing the geographies of some countries about which she had only limited information. She referred to this an an enlarging experience. 

It sets me thinking. We send  our children to school and leave the academic formation of our children to teachers. Most parents help with  the homework of children, which they might have to do each day. The subject wise interaction between parents and children is minimum. When we saw the photos of this family visiting toy and book libraries we realised that the mother and children were co-learners, with all of them sitting together and sharing information with each other from the book they read. 

That gave me some clarity on the essential part of co-learning ! When parents are keenly involved in the information package children are required to know and an interactive environment is created, the learning becomes joint learning!

The children learn what parents themselves seek to know! Helping children to learn can be condescending to 'teach' or giving an ambience of  'learning together' !

That creates the heart of home schooling- co-learning ! What a wonderful experience it is that children and parents can learn together! That gives home schooling more legitimacy !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo

 

People friendly habit !

I watched this feeding behaviour of a pair of Bulbuls in our garden a few days ago, which made me ponder on the way they relate to each other ! The feeding time for them is often like this, being together and taking turns to feed ! They pause to allow the other to feed! It is not self driven, but being mindful of each other!

This relational aspect stands out with some species of birds. 

Yesterday, I met  a senior citizen who is older than me, who was on his way to the local school in the late afternoon to walk back home with his grandson when he finished for the day. He travelled back to his school days. He mentioned about a habit of teachers seventy five years ago.  The teachers would visit the homes of students in the village. He remembered how few teachers visited his home when he did not go to school due to illness for a week. He referred to teachers as those whose attention was on students. Some teachers stayed in the class room for students to meet with them for any conversation or clear doubts on the subjects taught on that day, after the school hours.

It was then I recalled the occasion when some teachers visited my home from the school. They came to bring encouragement and stay connected with my parents. 

Some teachers left impressions with me which have lasted because they were interested in our learning and formation! I remember how the first hour was spent each day in the class for conversations. The teacher took time to give every student an opportunity to talk about any matter. In so doing, the students also stayed connected with thirty-five others in the class. 

In his mid eighties, this senior citizen lives with pleasant memories of his teachers and the school experience. 

The Bulbuls have a relational habit! Some teachers in the school where  that senior citizen and I went to, focussed on our formative process. 

During the two telephone conversations this week, I realised how people live longing to have conversations! In a digitalised environment, people look for human interface and conversations. 

The interest to stay in touch with others got even more activated following this conversation with this senior citizen!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Hearts unfold like Flowers...

 

This Gerbera flower above in our garden is now three weeks old now and still looks colourful although the petals are drooping !

The memory of its colourfulness and elegant presence will last for a while! 

It brings a call to live gracefully open and giving for others in the garden! 

The hymn Anna  I sang in the morning was by Henry Van Dyke: 

"Joyful, joyful, we adore Thee, 

God of glory, God of love,

Hearts unfold like flowers before Thee,

Opening to the sun above.....

All Thy works with joy surround Thee,

Earth and heaven reflect Thy ways,

Stars and angels sing around Thee,

Centre of unbroken praise.

Field and forest, vale and and mountain,

Flowery meadow and flashing sea,

Chanting bird and flowing fountain,

Call us to rejoice in Thee.

Thou art giving and forgiving,

Ever blessing and ever blest,

Well-spring of the joy of living,

Ocean depth of happy rest!......"

We are surrounded by daily scenes and memories of joy that God brings to us !

A flower fades away, but during its life time it was open to all to give its radiance, fragrance and honey!

 

The text from the book of Micah, in the Old Testament of the Bible has a reminder to us about the purpose our being: ".... O man what is good; and what does the Lord require of you; but to do justice, to love kindness, and walk humbly with your God" (Micah 6:8). 

Each of us too has a calling to love mercy, to do justice and walk humbly... !

The purpose of being, becoming and belonging was symbolised in the flower above!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

The Work place ambience!

The rose flowers, desert roses and Lilies in our garden bring a festive look.

With the day time temperature soaring beyond thirty two degrees now, we anticipate an early onset of summer.  The look of the flowers in the morning and after they are watered, tells how their freshness and fragrance depend upon the soil conditions. 

It was while being in a government office yesterday, Anna and I saw how plants are placed in different places, which give a natural look to the office space. It was not just a place of tables, chairs and files of papers, but an aesthetic space creating a sense of attention to the work space environment. 

This office was computer dependent and digitalised for all transactions. The individual spaces in the open lay out of the office appeared well planned for digital convenience in an air conditioned environment. 

What we appreciated was the quality and regardful human interface the officers communicated.

We felt encouraged seeing the plants in vacant spaces to break the monotonous look! Most plants were looking fresh and well cared for. That to me became a symbol of the culture of attentiveness that prevailed in that office. If the environment receives such an attention, it represents the ethos of that office. People who come to receive services have spaces designated to wait where they have access to  reading materials and water. 

The garden is a hospitable place. 

I found that this office too was a hospitable place. From the watchman to the officers, there was a courteous tone in their conversation and behaviour!

What an experience of hope it brought to us at the end of our visit! People can make their work space hospitable and communicative! They can turn the office space to be a cheerful environment for those who work there and those who come to receive service!

Plants and flowers contribute to create such an environment!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A pre-schooler's space !

Anna and I created a Child's Corner at home yesterday thinking of the interests of a pre-school child. We remembered the visit of our grand children in October and thought of the different indoor and outdoor activities they chose . 

They used the lawn to play ball games, badminton, cricket,  and spent time in the tree house, water pool, swing, sand pit, playing with our dogs and going for nature walks. They found a different set of activities for each day. 

They did not gravitate towards the Television or playing in the mobile phone. 

We are in the final stage of editing the book, Engage Your Child, a manual of ideas for parents to engage the pre-school children. During the preparation of this book in the last six months, Anna and I gathered  our thoughts about the play process that pre-school children engage in at home. We recalled our own experiences of the interactions and conversations of such times with our children and recently with our grandchildren to trace how they make developmental progress in different domains during home based play activities. The reading times, art and craft work, designing and creating structures with building blocks, singing, dramatising, make believe play and doing simple house hold chores, card games, joining in for cooking and going for walks and picnics create the variety that pre-school children needed.  

The play based engagement of children help parents to get to know the developing process and thought world, emotional milieu, and relational attitudes of pre-school children.

The play is the process parents can use to  become present to pre-school children. That creates the ambience for pre-schoolers to have an endearing attitude towards parents. 

Parents become child centred in thinking and behaving and pre-school children develop attachment process to parents which forms the fabric of relationship !

Making a home pre-school child friendly is a calling for parents !

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

When a mouthful is missing!

On the 77 th Republic day of India today, there is every reason to look back and feel encouraged by the progress that nation has made since independence. 

There is a mission that beckons us still !

That is the challenge of giving livelihood to everyone especially those who are outside the mainstream population of India. 

It is strange that after the Bulbul had a sumptuous meal at the feeding station in our garden, a Magpie robin only had the skin of the banana left. The Magpie robin made a few bird calls to alert us that the feeding bowl needed refilling. 

That resonated in my mind of many hungry people going to bed at night each day, still hoping for better days ahead !

When I came back with more banana, th Magpie robin was still searching for the left over in the skin of the banana. 

It was delighted to have a full banana all to itself !

The Magpie robin was truly hungry. It was well fed finally !

It was a good experience for me sense how birds too look for their meal and make their needs known!

I almost missed sensing the bird call to be related to hunger initially! 

We live in a hungry world where people are still seeking for daily bread! This calls for more responsive behaviour from all of us towards the have-nots!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Finding a way forward!

The jungle Babbles visited the garden two days ago, searching for insects in a dried tree. 

Th away one of them searched for insects underneath the leaves fascinated me. It was almost hanging to pick the crawling insect!

An interesting sight giving a message about the way they find a way forward in every situation! 

When they are stressed for food, they adapt !

I have had recently software related difficulties in my Mac to upload the photos to the blog. It took two hours for Anna today morning to find a way to upload the photos in another way than what was usually done so far! I was amazed the way that Anna did it although Anna is not a regular user of the Mac system. 

Seeing Anna go step by step to find an alternative was interesting to watch. It was similar to the Babblers finding their food with determination!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

The events in the garden !

Our garden is flowering and has an inviting look !

But some sights are  not so pleasant to look at !

From the time the cashew nuts appear in the blossoms, ants gather around the tender cashew nuts to suck the juice from the outer shell. 

Few of them get permanently damaged as in the last photo above. Fortunately that is a small number. 

The possibility of the cashew nuts growing up to be what is in the photos below is because of the ability to withstand the harming effects caused by ants. 

With our desire to avoid insecticides as far as possible, we run into a dilemma! 

How to protect the fruits without harming the ants!

We still have not found an answer to this dilemma. 

One consolation is that most plants and flowers survive in spite of such invasive behaviour of ants! 

This speaks about the self defence inherent in flowers ! 

The odour of some flowers keeps ants away. It is the honey the ants are seeking for! 

I find the overcoming nature of plants and flowers against many odds!

It is their way of thriving amidst the challenges!

For most of us some happenings can disturb us and make us wonder about the way forward!

The overcoming habit of plants in different seasons, of winter, summer monsoon speaks of their inherent strength ! 

The desert and wilderness of our lives are for us to experience the resilience within and the surprising ways, God of our lives carries us forward!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Buds, Flowers, fruits and Birds !

A garden yields and gives it produce as an offering !

The above photos of our garden during this week, brought an awareness of how the plants live to give!

When Anna and I went for a pre-wedding get together in a home in our neighbourhood, we noticed how the neighbours were fully involved in making all the arrangements. They were giving too !

The president of the United States of America is publicly proclaiming the language of taking- Greenland, oil from Venezuela and is governance, ruling of Iran....!

The nature lives a language of giving; some who inhabit the earth speak the language of taking !

Do the givers get exploited by the takers!

There is a local resistance movement in one town in north Kerala, where people resist the government taking over the land to build a large liquor manufacturing factory. The environmentalists have warned about depleting ground water when the factory goes into operation, which would affect people in the region who have only ground water to depend upon!

When the temperature has dipped to minus 34 degree celsius in Canada and the several parts of the USA is threatened by a cold wave with temperature of minus 23 degree celsius, and similar reports coming in from Europe, the climate change alarms the world! Have we taken too much from the earth and given too little to preserve its equilibrium!

A garden can be giving only as much as it receives to give!

A family thrives only as much as we give into its nurture ! A well nurtured family creates the ambience in a home for children to grow up receiving!  

I was moved to read the following hymn, by Miriam Theresa Winter of Medical Mission sisters (CMC hymnal 81):

" God gives His people strength.

If we believe in His way,

He is swift to repay,

All those who bear the burden of the day.

God gives His people strength.

God gives His people hope.

If we trust in His word,

Our prayers are always heard,

He warmly welcomes anyone who's erred.

God gives His people hope. 

God gives His people love. 

If we but open heart wide,

He is sure to do His part,

He's always the first to make a start.

God gives His people love. 

God gives His people peace. 

When sorrow fills us to the brim, 

And courage grows dim,

He lays to rest our restlessness  in Him.

God gives His people peace."

God gives us, strength, hope, love, and peace. That is the ground on which the pilgrims journey on...!

The giving God !

 M.C.Mathew(text and photo)