The inner momentum !

 

The above photos of a pair of rose flowers are few of the pictures I have during the 12 days of blossoming from buds to be flowers. One on the left on the screen blossomed two days earlier, which is evident in the mild dullness of its colour. Both of them dropped the withering petals in the order they blossomed by the twelfth day. 

The picture below taken ten days later when the new shoots started growing from beneath the stalk of the earlier two flowers. I noticed the first sign of the sprouting of tender leaves when the earlier two buds were growing to become flowers. During the last ten days, there are two shoots, which hopefully would bear buds. 

This is the way plants live in the garden, bearing shoots, buds and flowers. 

I take this as a message worth as a call in life ! 

Accept the transitions in life, including the set backs, and carry on living the call to be fruitful!

The inner momentum is for growth and offering ourselves to others in service!

M.C.Mathew( text and photo)

 

Carrying heaviness lightly !

 

The last two years have ben a difficult season for Daphne ! She is 16 years old now. 

Since she was diagnosed to have a lymphoproliferative disease two years ago, which needed a surgery for removal of tumours on the body, her physical agility has suffered. She is probably immunocompromised because of which her eye infection is not responding to regular treatment! 

The photos above taken recently of her slow pace of walk, difficult to climb the steps and looking weaker would be an indication of the progress of her illness. 

However, her affectionate ways have only enlarged further. She would walk beside us slowly and pause in between and look to us to wait. If I got interested to take a photo of flowers in the garden, she would wait to resume the walk till I am ready. She would cone near us and sit and keep looking till we stroke and comfort her. When she is ready to move into her kenner yard, she would move slowly and turn back to look at us a few times, which is her way of saying 'thank you'! Whenever we are in the courtyard, she would like to come out of her yard. She has a mat on the ground where she rests during the day and climbs on to her bed in the kennel only at night to be more comfortable. 

Temperamentally Daphne was a 'hurricane' exploring and moving about within the house and outside. She was so investigative that she on two different occasions managed to get our Mobile phones to play with it. In the process she damaged them. 

During the recent months, she has become bed bound mostly with short walks in the morning and evening, for which she waits for !

Her relational habits, communicative engagement and seeking for attention have become even more evident recently.  

She leans on to us for her strength !

What is evident and surprising is the way her canine habit of loyalty, attachment and responsive behaviour have remained stable, may be more pronounced now !

Daphne carries the heaviness of her illness lightly!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

 

 

The becoming journey of mid-life !

The mid-life of a Lily flower bunch! Two open and two yet to open!

In a conversation with a professional yesterday, there was an enquiry about the different experiences in mid-life. 

One aspect that needed exploration was to have a vision about what a person is becoming in mid life ! 

In the flower bunch above, the two buds are open,  two are waiting to open. 

There is a two fold mission in mid-life. To be able to have an awareness of who we are now and who we shall become!

The orientation towards who we are now, can  sometimes be clouded by several occupations and demands of daily rhythm of living at home and work place. At mid life, there is a need to have a grateful and celebrant attitude! This appreciative and fulfilled state in one's life is possible when we can see life in all its fullness. There is a convergence of different experiences in mid-life- physical formation, personal formation, educational formation, relational formation, family formation, work-place formation, faith formation, social formation...! So mid life is a season of fullness and most of us will be healthy and well at this season of life. This canvas of fullness is therefore a reality! 

It is from this grounding in fullness of life, we look beyond in the latter part of mid-life. 

Who shall I become now! The lily plant has two more buds ready to open! The mid-life is a season to capture a vision of who shall I become! There is more in life awaiting to unfold! If we have a view of who we can become, the aspirational invitation would carry us forward. The early part of mid-life has been a season of formation and fullness. The latter part of mid life is a season of abundance! We move form fullness to abundance! We would have fulfilled most of our responsibilities of parenting, attended to the needs of the family, found our purpose at the work place, and engaged in opportunities to grow and serve. That season can  lead us into to different pathways. 

One pathway is consolidation of mid-life experiences to live well and be content in that state. 

Another pathway is turn from ourselves to others to be 'elders' to assist in the formation of others who are moving towards mid-life or are in early mid life! The formative process of early mid life is a season of adventures and mishaps. Many get waylaid during the early part of mid-life by the existential demands and compulsions. Those of us who moved through early mid-life in our formative process to experience the abundance in the latter part of mid life, owe to others  to help them navigate the formative process to enter the latter part of mid life to experience joyful transition! 

The fullness of early years of mid life and the abundance of latter years of mid-life become the theme of mid life!

The flowers are a gift of a plant to others !

Who shall I become in mid life ! Through the experience of fullness and abundance to become a gift to others during mid-life! 

So, mid-life's mission is to go beyond the desire of personal gratification to mindful companionship of those who need helping hands in their journey of becoming! 

Anna and I remember Peter and Katharine Makower during this week when Katharine celebrates her ninetieth birthday. We got to know them in our mid forties. Peter and Katharine accompanied us during our years at Chennai, during the early years of our involvement in child development and rehabilitation. They kept our spirit high by self-giving  attitude of regardful and affirming accompaniment, which enabled us to found the Developmental Paediatrics Unit at Christian  Medical College, Vellore during the latter season of of our mid- life! We were almost settling down to enjoy the fruits of our labour in early mid life at Chennai, when the nudge came from a few, who said, ' Does not child development speciality need an academic setting?' Peter and Katharine were active in supporting us during the transition to Vellore in 1997 and subsequently in establishing the academic traditions in the speciality of Developmental Paediatrics at CMC Vellore ! By them Peter and Katharine had retired form their professional work! They took upon the mantle of being 'elders' and accompanied us to go beyond 'ourselves' ! 

If our watchful eyes are on the mid-lifers, they will be enabled to grow up as 'givers'!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Growth of consciousness !

The rose bushes in our garden have a new look with young leaves, buds in formation and the leaves gradually becoming chlorophyll rich ! 

It is refreshing to watch new beginnings when plants would bear buds and flowers for others!!

This growth in the rose bush is an expression of the inherent feature of a plant to grow!

I happened to hear the good news of a Church congregation to reduce all expenses connected with its annul festival and to help some members who defaulted in the payment of bank loan, they took for paying the fees of their children for higher education. The congregation's decision to turn their attention to help the members of the church at the time of their special need, to me is a sign of growth of the collective consciousness of good will. 

There are many features of unfolding of human consciousness. This is one feature - to be able to see the needs of others in a compassionate way!

I heard about another moving response of a class of thirty five students raising money to cover the expenses of the bone marrow treatment of a student who suffered from Thalassemia major. The families of these students decided to forgo their holiday tour to save money to contribute towards this cause. Another sign of growth of collective consciousness !

A society moves from an existential plane to an altruistic plane of being when they allow themselves to be touched by the needs of others.

Such an openness to feel for others arises out of change of consciousness. One evidence of growth within us is our readiness to be available to others who need helping hands! When that giving is spontaneous and liberal, it is manifestation of the growth of the collective consciousness of goodwill and mindfulness!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Skillful presence !

A fleeting visit  of a Sunbird to flowers for nectar gathering!

The Sunbird moved between flowers briskly and elegantly!

Its swiftness and focussed movements between flowers made the photography difficult, as my briskness was not enough to get sharp pictures!

But I felt good to have been able to see brisk and elegant movements of a Sunbird!

The petals of flower can bear the weight of a Sunbird only for an ultra short period without petals getting damaged. The Sunbird adapts well while gathering nectar!

Another mystery in nature of adaptation!

M.C.Mathew( text and photo)

The enduring presence !

These rose flowers are the last flowers of this season in the oldest rose bushes in our garden. Now that the bushes are pruned, they will spring forth into another season of flowering in about two months. These flowers are small, have a shorter life but are colour rich. In a flower vase, they would droop in a day, unlike other flowers of budded rose bushes like in the photo below, which remain in the vase for about a week.

The first five photos are of rose flowers in the garden are of those bushes who flower for most part of the year. They endure the summer and monsoon alike. 

Their presence and colourfulness even during stressful environmental conditions tell a story of life of endurance  and the overcoming spirit. 

I read in the newspaper yesterday of a girl student in a school, who participated on-line in a drawing competition, while she remained confined at home due to restrictions on account of her immunocompromised state. Hers is a life-threatening illness ! Her keenness to participate in the inter-school festival of culture and arts needed special permission. Her art work received special recognition and commendation. Her  resolve to overcome the limitations received recognition. 

I felt encouraged reading this story, because, the traction to overcome constraints and challenges was the highlight of her attitude! 

The enduring rose flowers ! The resilient girl !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Mid-day visitors !

 

A pair of Bulbuls spent about three minutes in the feeding station today, but not eating or drinking ! They looked unsettled !

But they came! It is a promising sign after a break of two weeks! 

What was missing in their behaviour was bird calls and playfulness at the feeding station!

Yes, they are sensitive to changes. Their flight path from the feeding station was ordinarily to the tall rubber trees in the adjacent property. Now they are cut and the place is cluttered with leaves and branches. 

I wonder if the birds have felt threatened and left with a bereft feeling!

I remember an environmentalist telling us a few years back that the pruning or felling of trees ought to spread over weeks and not done at one time, to avoid giving birds a feeling of sudden change too much for them to adapt to! So we practice that. That helped few birds to be nocturnal residents in our garden and even nesting ! 

Th avian presence and movements in a garden are indications of a hospitable garden!

M.C.Mathew (text and  photo)

A portion from the plenty!

The three photos above of the green belt beyond our garden is a blend of scenes- thriving plants, flowering tree and barren trees!

That is the spectrum of life experiences of people on earth. 

There is enough of resources for people of all nations to share for the common good!

But the voice or advocacy for the common wellness and distributive justice of opportunities for all is a feeble and get drowned by the loud voices of entitlement and rights to accumulate! 

I heard the moving response of children from a school, who voluntarily chose to request their parents to forego all new year expenditure and pool the savings to get clothes for children living in deprived situation near to their school 

Such stories keep our hope alive about 'hearts that feel' for the neighbours!

There is plenty to go around for all !

May we distribute the little we can to bring a message of shared living as a call to all!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Fruits in the garden !

This is a season of fruits in or garden ! 

The garden is silent with birds having moved out recently after the rubber trees next to our garden were cut.The noise of the electric saw and the felling of the trees, seem to have disturbed them, Our bird feeding station which was a place of activity most of the day with different birds coming for feeding and bathing is now deleted. 

The silence of the garden is a strange experience.

I spotted a Bulbul yesterday in the courtyard looking around but not restfully. It did not visit the feeding station. 

It is a stressful experience for birds when the familiar trees which were their flight stations are no more there. I suppose it might be a long wait before birds return. 

In the mean time we will turn our attention to feel grateful for other delightful signs and experiences in the garden!

We felt good that we were able to gift our neighbour all the  banana bunches which will ripen hopefully on time for their daughter's wedding this week end. 

It is a mixed feeling as we begin another week! 

We look at the yield in the garden and feel grateful. We miss the birds who used to visit us, to delight us with their colourful presence and tuneful bird calls 

The experience of gain and loss !

The new flowers bring consolation till we wait for bird arrivals in the garden !

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Pruning hurts but carries a healing touch !

The effect of pruning of rose bushes in our garden in late November is now showing signs of  new life in most of the bushes. 

Pruning is a hurting process botanically. It stops its linear normal growth. That stress suffered creates lateral growth around the pruned stem. The stem that was cut would bring new sprouts and buds. 

As I walked in the garden and gathered these and other phots of the after effects of pruning, My thoughts meandered to a question: How does the plant life respond to a hurt it receives! I noticed that the sap from the stem covers the cut surface and remains dormant with blunting of its growing end. A few days later, one would notice early sprouting of tender leaves. From then on there is continuity of growth. Most of the pruned bushes have new buds as seen in the photos. 

The tenet leaves take time to be fully green, which to me is the continuation of the stress it suffered. Most bushes would have restored its growth laterally by about three months. The stem that was cut would have given those multiple branches circumferentially. In that sense the pruning had an additional advantage of stimulating the branch to have new sprouts all around the stem that was cur. One stem when cut multiples to become several stems which would bear buds and flowers. 

I have had experiences with personal hurts. Looking back I wonder if the bio-psychology of hurt can be described as:  Anguish, Burden, Convalescence, Dialogue, Enabling, Freedom and Growth.  

Anguish- a time of shock and grief, sometimes with a sense of loss and frozenness.

Burden- The primal response of disappointment, anger or reaction  or accusation creates upheaval within having a gravitation towards  an inner turmoil.

Convalescence- When the acute reaction is declining, a sense of inner composure gradually occurs making the inner ambience moving towards comfort level to process and engage the experience compassionately, critically and coherently. 

Dialogue- That becomes a natural outcome of the convalescence season,  when reason and intuitive sense get revived to receive it objectively and lightly. The blaming recedes; acceptance gradually sets in;  what is beyond surfaces to subsume the emotions attached to it and an inner dialogue starts which gradually transforms the mind set towards forgiveness and inner wellness. Sometimes that opens the door for a conversation with the one because of whom I presumed to have been hurt. The reading of the Scripture, prayerful orientation and the teachings of Jesus of Nazareth on love, peace and hope become the nurturing and transforming resource. 

Enabling- This is the fruit of inner resilience and recollection of the vocation of living relationally. The normality of living is the web relationship. The return to belong to the web of relationships gradually happens although the memory of past experience might still stay on which if received gently would enlighten the good that has come out of that experience. 

Freedom- This  is an occasion to loosen the conscious grip on the event and memories associated with it so that we can allow the memory of it to evaporate from our  consciousness; What settles  within us in our subconscious level, is what entraps us to strained relationships. The journey into freedom is a given experience, when we longer desire to hold on to what happened. It was only yet another incident with only ingredients for growth to entertain!

Growth-  Life is a gift given to me to live. When that consciousness becomes the ground on which one returns to be standing, then the strength to live and relate would have a new quality and depth. It was from a fall one is getting up to continue walking. This is the paradox of the hurting experience. The fall gives more strength to continue living gracefully and mindfully. The ego self that suffered the hurt is being renewed to have more substance of the true self that I am called to become! The hurt therefore has takes one through healing, restoration and growth. 

The renewed life in a pruned rose bush led me to explore the bio-psychology of my behaviour when hurt. Now I realise even an  experience of a difficulty is only a pruning touch for renewed wellness ahead !

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)