From Pepper to Nectar !

I watched the way a Barbet in our garden chose its breakfast feed. It fed on black pepper first. It picked the ripe berry, which had turned red. I was fascinated by the way it was able to make that visual choice from the colour of the berry. 

Even the ripe berry of pepper leaves a burning taste in the mouth. Is that the reason that the Barbet left after swallowing two black pepper berries  to fly to the flower bunch in an adjacent shrub to taste nectar! That surprised me. Even a Barbet knew the way to neutralise a burning taste!

There were more red berries of pepper below where the Barbet was perched, but it did not proceed to have them. It knew its limits of tolerance of the burning taste. 

An alcohol dependent person, who in the recent months has been struggling himself to go dry, told me that he was not doing any good to himself or to his family with his habit. He greeted me yesterday, after going to the church. He said, 'I laid all my burdens at the altar'! He got into debts, the seriousness of which, dawned on him and he for the last six months started saving instead spending his weekly earnings for alcohol. He did not have to borrow any money for the confinement of his daughter. He is struggling with paying back the loans which are overdue. 

I listened to this self awareness confession and felt that, he too was coming to his sense of his limits for his indulgent behaviour. 

For an adult, this consciousness is an inner 'awareness' experience. I met a person yesterday accidentally, who caused some heart burns to me for a while. This happened in a social function. I had among other photographs of the occasion,  a photograph in which he was present. I sent that to him, which he acknowledged. 

Each of us has to move beyond our past stories to find consolation and comfort. The 'confirmation bias', which makes us feel that he or she is 'always' difficult, can change, when the past experiences cease to be the optic of our reference. The inner growth that takes place within us is a grace given to us, which creates a new consciousness of viewing others with  greater appreciation! That is what helps us to free others from being imprisoned in our mind by the past. We become free when we see a person through that opportunity to relate differently. 

That is what I experienced as I was able to greet him and send a photograph to him. 

It is not others who make us miserable, but our own response to what we experience. We cannot flee from our experiences. But we can receive our experience and transform it to be health giving to ourselves and others. 

The Barbet knew how much 'burning' it can take! It chose its way to stay comfortable. 

We can choose a journey path of protecting ourselves from getting injured and if injured to move towards recovery sooner than later!

In the book, A life at work-the joy of discovering what you were born to do, Thomas Moore, introduced a thought stream in the chapter on, Life in a Tower, about depth of feeling. He began that section by writing: 'To feel something strongly is not the same as to feel deeply'(p88). 

That initiated an inner conversation within me. I felt 'strongly' grieved about what a few people did to be cynical about a philosophy and ethos, that Anna and I pursued in child development over the years. The events in the last few years intensified that grief. 

When Jesus of Nazareth felt 'deeply' about what others did to crucify Him, His prayer was 'Father forgive them for they do know what they do'.

It began to unfold in my consciousness that to feel 'strongly' only made me go into a defence position, but if I can feel 'deeply', I might also be led to a forgiving and releasing attitude, which is what finally matters. 

I sent message to a person recently, from whom I felt estranged for  six years. A message sent two years ago did not yield a response. This time the reply came and I felt touched by a cordial and affirming attitude. 

To feel 'deeply' is a way of experiencing inner stillness and wellness beneath the turbulent first impressions. The journey is not for increasing the tension in a relationship, but to withdraw to feel deeply so that the other person can become a 'neighbour'.  We are called to be on a journey to 'love our neighbour as ourselves'!

The Barbet had a 'bitter' and 'sweet' experience and it knew how to 'integrate' both !

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)