Multiple generations of leaves!

Every tree has multiple gratin of leaves. 

In some families in the state where Anna and I live now  would have three or more generations of family members living together. I met one such family recently. Three generations of people who live in that house share their lives and experiences intimately. They have a common Kitchen, common table, common living room,..etc.

There are five school going children in that home, the youngest being three years and the oldest being fifteen years. I was curious to find the dynamics of relating to children in their home. The great grandfather who is still alert and active starts the day with story time for the children in two batches. He engages the three younger ones together and the two older ones in another group. The conversations when they have meals together is about children. Each child is encouraged to share some experience or information. The adult conversations at the table are mainly to promote children to share. I was fascinated to hear that this practice  is strictly followed regularly.

What fascinated me even more is the family time the adults have involving all the three generations. They meet around nine at night regularly after children retire for the day. About forty five minutes of conversations is around the adult experiences of the day and some planning about family activities, events or celebrations of birthdays, etc. When there is a disagreement, the issue would come up for revisiting on the next day. The couple who shared this with me told me how the grandfather and grandmother are caring and thoughtful that they feel loved, affirmed and accepted. It is most fascinating that three daughters-in-laws feel free and fully alive in this setting relate harmoniously.

The secret of nurturing children by giving them attention at designated times is a one way of recognising their needs. The adults making an effort to live mindfully of the aspirations of children is an encouraging example. The grandparents create space and recognition for their children and their spouses. In fact, the lady while talking to me that her husband’s home is her second home after her home where she grew up. She spoke so warmly that it was almost unbelievable. 

Th leaves of the tree are held together by the stem. 

What is that which can hold a family together! To me it is family times of affirming the belonging to each other with tokens of expressions of acceptance and mutual regards. 

When I walked past homes during my childhood, in the evening, I heard hymns from most homes. They had their regular family prayer times.  Now when I do , it is the Television sound that is entertaining the family! 

The families are soaked in entertainment, but lost the family times of conversations or prayer!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)