06 November, 2018

Dew on leaves, flowers and buds!









Anna and I are fond of plants and flowers. We have a variety of them in our garden. 

When the night temperature drops commencing from November, there is a new look of leaves, flowers and buds, because the dew drops grant them an elegant look! They are naturally visually captivating. But with the dew on them, there is a striking and enchanting look!

The dew provides that additional charm !

I had an unusual experience couple of days back at work.  A colleague of mine suggested that, I take a break earlier than I usually do at lunch time ! I was touched by this thoughtful comment! I felt encouraged that someone thought about my wellness. I am overwhelmed normally by the goodwill my colleagues show towards me. When something more than the usual happens, one is certainly overcome by gratitude!

There are graces and acts of kindness that we can show to each other, to make the already  existing relationships more refreshing and upbuilding. 

Even without the dew, the leaves, flowers and buds are special. With the dew on them, they become a visual feast. 

This to me is a calling- the kindness of the widow woman of Zarephath, who baked bread for the prophet Elijah, when no flour or oil was left in her jars, beyond what was needed for her and her son, during the  season of a famine (I kings 17:7-16) ! She would have been well justified and thought to be right, if she had declined the request of Elijah to make him the bread first! Instead, she reached out to him first.

Doing something more is not ordinary for most of us. We do just enough or less than that !

Doing more for others is the way of life, we see in the gospel stories in the New Testament of the Bible.

That is how we make relationships even more enriching and thoughtful!


M.C.Mathew(text and photo)





Movement towards and away !





Anna gave me permission to stop on the road facing the paddy fields, while on our way to the hospital yesterday. I had spotted an Egret and a Heron. By the time I alighted from the car and got the camera ready to click, both of them took to their flight.  

The Egret flew towards us and crossed the road. So I just managed a photo in flight. I suspect it kept moving its head to both sides, as if it was hiding under the wings! It flew into the horizon soaring high into the sky.

The Heron, not the type that we usually find in our region, was likely to be a migrating bird. It flew away in the opposite direction. So I was left with its rear view! Its wings were elevated above the body as if the body was suspended by the wings. It flapped the wings and then rested the wings in between. It too vanished from my sight sooner than I thought. 

I watched a movement forward of two birds, one in my direction and another away from me! 

After resuming the driving,  this movement towards and away form me stayed with me to ponder. 

I recollected instances in my life when people moved towards me to care, help, support and show the way graciously.  Some of those movements were significant and defining in my life. I remember vividly how, Mr Arthur Pont, the director of the Bible Medical Missionary Fellowship (Now INTERSERVE) in Britain in 1984 invited me to visit different prayer groups in Britain. Some of them whom I met during that visit, stayed on in our lives as friends who have been formative in our lives. It was a joy for Anna and me to meet some of them along with Arthur, three years ago in Britain, in the INTERSERVE office to renew fellowship and acknowledge the joy of their friendship. Another person who kept accompanying us was Ms Prema Fenn for over thirty years. She reached out to support ASHIRVAD financially, unasked ! These and such other stories move us!   

There were also people who moved away from us during these years. We have had a lot to do with the Union of Evangelical Students of India, Evangelical Medical Fellowship of india, Christian Medical Fellowship in Kerala, etc, when we were younger. But friends from these groups and others have moved away from us for various reasons, the foremost reason being infrequent contacts.  Also, it is a fact that they have changed and we too! Some have moved away away due to the diffeeences in outlook and values in life; some due to stress in relationship. One person, a professional with whom I collaborated a lot in the early years, from the latter group sent me a conciliatory message two weeks back. It brought joy unspeakable. 

So these movements both ways are real experiences of life! 

Whether it is a movement towards us or away from us, it is good to recall the flight of the birds! They chose to come and they chose to fly away!

Let us consider all friendships similarly-give others the choice to be friendly or stay distant! That is the way we offer freedom to others to be themselves!

So both movements need to be gratefully remembered. That is how we create space for others without any bias, control or demand and remain open and cordial!

I am aware now that each of us has an emotional quotient of ‘relationship readiness’!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo) 

05 November, 2018

Waiting in hope!


Every time I find a branch in the rose plants in our garden with new buds, I have a sense of anticipation. Not all buds blossom into flowers as there are moths that eat and survive on the buds. Although there is a temptation to use insecticides, we have so far refrained from using them. 

What happens when our hope is shattered!

This is the story I hear form parents when they come for consultation! Their lives are broken and sometimes barren as the circumstances have brought stress and disappointment in their lives.

Every time I examine a child who is neuro-developmentally challenged, I too have this sense of loss within me. That child was prevented from his her fullness of life because of what happened during foetal life or at birth or thereafter. 

And yet, it is an occasion to bring hope an cheer to such families, through some small things we can do for them to make it easier for the child, siblings and parents.

A comment I heard on Saturday is a pointer to this reality:"Every time we visit the department, we get enthused to keep our hopes alive"!

The hope is not about the future alone but is also about the NOW.

What is experienced now alone can grow within us to give us steadfastness in living!

Every little act of kindness we can do is able to be 'hope-giving' to someone. 

It is when we live relationally, the experience of hope becomes an imminent reality! And it is this that is difficult for most of us! I live with the pain of broken relationships with a few people. And yet, it is with hope I wait for them to be restored!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo) 


Something unusual!




The second bunch of banana has two layers separated by a short distance.The second layer o banana looks smaller! 

The surprises in nature tell us a lot about the silent things that take place in the plants. It might be a genetically different banana plant which is what a farmer mentioned to me. We would have wait to see if it is true as there are small banana plants growing from this main plant.

The genetics of plants is a very advanced science in agriculture. The scientists work fervently to produce better yielding plants. 

Os is it a dysmorphology! My colleagues comment that I am 'preoccupied' with a keenest to discover dysmorphological features in children! It is true. I have come to believe that any noxious insult during embryonic period has a risk to the developmental prospects of a child. 

I was glad to notice this rare sight in the morning.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Sights early in the morning!


This is the third Damselfly I noticed in our garden, each different in colour from the other. They belong to the family of dragonfly, but different in habitat and breeding. It too is a scavenger of insects especially mosquito larvae. In Myanmar, people release Damselflies into water sources to keep mosquitoes away. Unlike a dragon fly, the Damselflies can live and breed on polluted or brackish water.




A Drongo far away on a twig. It rested on that slender twig balancing itself! It chose to do so because it is its habit to find secluded places. It was alone, certainly not lonely because it looked alert and fully present. It kept looking around keeping its body posture of ready for flight! 




A rare sighting of a migrant bird! Its colours are exquisite. It might belong to the fowl family. It moved about in the field elegantly! Its body looks clean and well kept. It obviously has good self care practices.



Soon it had a companion ! It was a fascinating sight to see both of them move around each other comfortable with each other. They belong to two different species, but were at home with each other. Something for us to learn from this! In India we have an ethnic and cultural affinity which make us insular. We are divided because of communal and religious practices. We belong to each other as we are humans. 




A multicoloured dragonfly on the tip of a leaf! The leaf supports a fragile dragonfly. The leaf offers it all the time whether it be for a butterfly or bug or a grass hoper. It is a message to humans. We are to be providers and protectors of the fragile environment.



As I walk around in the garden each time, and watch the life in nature, I am amazed the way there is so much of coherence and co-existence.

Life is to be lived  relationally!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

04 November, 2018

Biography- 19 : Thirty five years with Camera!


I have had a weakness for cameras from the time I started using a compact camera, manufactured by Kodak in 1983, while Anna and I lived in Chennai with our two children. The first camera had no adjustments possible except shoot after putting a 35 mm colour film. It costed three times the monthly salary I was getting. It gave good pictures although deficient in many ways according to modern photographic standards. It did serve our purpose as we could click many photos of children and family occasions. 

The second camera we bought was an Olympus compact camera, which provided zoom function and gave better photos. Mr Jacob, a member of the church where we worshipped, who saw me clicking flowers on the roadside talked to me at length about photography. He was an accomplished photographer and had published two books on black and white photography. He explained to me the physics of light and shooting. As we lived in London during that time, it was possible to use the camera extensively whenever we went out visiting. The addition of a flash offered immense prospects, improving the quality and night time photography. The Olympus camera was the one I used when I started to take pictures of children who visited us for consultation at ASHIRVAD Child Development and Research Centre at Chennai. It was easy to use and small in size. 

The inspiration to take photos to have a documentation of the developmental progress of children with special needs came from two outstanding consultants whom I got to know during the time in London. One was professor David Morley, who had established an organisation, TALC to distribute teaching slides on several topics on the development of children. His was an outstanding example of using simple technology of good photography to disseminate scientific information on different child development topics. The other person was Dr Janet Goodall, who carried a compact camera and took pictures to illustrate different aspects of children's growth and development. She was a popular teacher and conference speaker who used her photos to illustrate and make her lectures visually impressive. In a recent letter from her, she was enquiring if I was still into photography!




The third camera was a Nikon compact, when the Olympus had a mechanical trouble after four years regular use. The Nikon served well and its colour blending although was not as good as that of the Olympus, it had a zoom property which was an immensely useful addition to photography at that time. The 35-80 mm zoom opened up photography in a new way for me. I got interested in taking street scenes, flowers, action pictures of children playing with toys, and got used to using films to make slides. In fact it was a new experience to use these slides when I was invited to speak at some meetings to share our experiences on child development and helping children to use their abilities to develop their residual skills. 

The difficulty with cameras made overseas at that time in the mid-seventies was limited service support even in metropolitan cities. The camera had to be sent to Bombay to have it attended to. This meant waiting for almost a month. I discovered a mechanic in Chennai, who though was not authorised by Nikon for repairing their camera, had considerable practical experience of mending such cameras. But he too had to wait for the spare parts. 




It was because of the long wait to get it repaired, I was compelled to buy the Fourth camera, a Pentax, which had a similar zoom like the Nikon, but the picture quality was superior. Its flash was more powerful which improved the indoor shooting. By then it was late seventies, and the 35 mm Single Lens Reflex camera had appeared in the Indian market. However it was prohibitively costlier. The only places where I saw the SLR cameras was in the studios and with professional photographers. I fell for it because of the improved sharpness and colour blending which these cameras offered. I remember using the Pentax for about three years without any trouble. Then its flash failed and soon its motor that moved the film also failed. A photographer who heard my story of not being able to use a compact camera for more than three years, told me that they were meant for only limited use. I used to take about 100 pictures of children sometimes on a single day! 

I recall not having  had a camera for more than six months following the breakdown of the Pentax. There were occasions, I felt little lost without a camera. I remember longing for a SLR camera, although it was not financially affordable to buy one at that time. It was one the few occasions when, I felt rather helpless! It is good to have had such instances in life because one learns patience and grows in appreciation of all the 'things' one already has!



Anna and I were visiting friends in London that summer on our way to Rasa to attend the Life Revision Seminar. Ms Ann Yardely, whom we met was keen to bring a gift for ASHIRVAD when she would visit us in Chennai later that year. Because she was insistent, we mentioned to her about our desire to have a SLR camera to document children and their stories. That is how we got our fifth camera, a SLR shown below, which served us well for about five years. The slides and prints we made from this camera were of high quality that when I presented pictures of children in professional meetings in India and overseas, I felt that it met with the expectations of the minimum quality!  I had not realised how a SLR camera can give better results than the compact cameras available at that time. 


But the technology of the compact camera had changed by the mid eighties and the overseas manufacturing companies had established their sales and service outlets in many cities in India. The discomfort I had with the SLR camera was its visibly large size, which sometimes made children move towards the camera to touch and feel it making it difficult to click pictures.

It was this which prompted me to go back to a compact camera, the sixth camera, Powershot G2. It provided image stabilisation, optical zoom, macro facility and was digital with 4 megapixel configuration. It was a decent camera to begin the transition into the digital era. The image quality was excellent that I could blow up photos to a A4 size with excellent visual impact. It was small enough to carry around and could hide in the palm while engaging children and sue it without children being inquisitive to explore the camera. I think my interest in photography grew in to another level with this camera. I carried the camera with me during my travels and outings and which gave me an opportunity to learn to click without the earlier desperation to take photos with films with proper focus. I remember being helped by a professional photographer, Mr Rajan of Chandrika Studio, Chennai, prompting me to learn something about editing the photographs before getting them printed. 

One major concurrent advancement in technology at that time was the access to computer to down loading pictures from the camera to make power points for presentations, which replaced the laborious process of making slides and using slide projectors to present at meetings.  I feel grateful for this breakthrough in technology which became affordable and convenient. This camera is still functional even after regular use for five years. It was built to last. It had an alloy body and an excellent flash for indoor photography. I had to replace the battery two times during that time. I still like the camera. I would have liked to use it even now if its battery was available.  

It was while using this camera, I began to be conscious of looking for a suitable background when a photo was clicked. I made further progress in learning about the direction of light and shadows in order to bring the best in every shot. It became easier because during the replay one gets an idea of the quality of the picture shot and choose to take another one if necessary. This gradual improvement in the quality of pictures shot, made me a camera enthusiast. That is how I started collecting books on camera and photography. I often picked up a magazine while travelling, to read and stay abreast with the progress in camera technology! The quick transition from a few megapixels to ten megapixels took place in less than ten years. 




It was a desire to buy a camera with ten megapixels which led me to buy the  seventh camera,  Canon power shot SXI IS, which was advanced in its pixels, focussing, image stabilisation, almost bordering to the picture quality a digital SLR at 35 mms. It had also video recording facility which added to its versatile use while working with children. It provided an opportunity to record the syllables or words children would begin to use, when they had developmental needs. This made possible a serial recording of their speech and to keep them in the computer for comparison and  further assessment. It was not as sturdy as the earlier power shot camera I had. Its battery life was short, which meant having three batteries, two as standbys while working with children. Its picture quality was less than average. There were better cameras, manufactured by Olympus and Fuji, but I stayed with Canon as the service support was far better for Canon camera. I got tired while using the camera and was keen to replace it. It happened in two years time. 



That  was the background to buy the eight camera, Canon G1X, shown below, which to me was the best of the digital compact cameras I have had. Its 2.8-5.5 focal length lens with zoom and macro functions gave me excellent results. The picture quality was better because it had a 15 megapixel resolution. Its video recording was of high quality and did not carry the extraneous sounds during the recording. It captured pictures retaining the original colours. It had a multimode focussing, automatic and manual and had other adjustments like what one would find in a digital SLR camera. It had a built in flash as well as an option for an external flash, which made night photography easier. The programme in the menu covered a wide range of options that the pictures taken by this camera had  an added visual appeal. Th power point slides even when magnified to the size of a normal screen did not show any granularity. When its zoom failed, I still could take photos while engaging children in small rooms. As I had bought the camera from England, the service provider in India refused to repair it as it was already superseded by high end other compact cameras and the spares were not available in India.



























The shift to the digital SLR, the ninth camera took place following the disappointment with the compact camera. Also the digital cameras were in the market for a while and there was a proven credibility for its sturdiness and durability. The prize had dropped a bit and the lens quality was rated high. Friends advised me to shift to Nikon, as its digital SLR cameras were rated high. I felt drawn toward the canon range and chose a 5D camera with its native lens. It is a camera that I have had now for ten years in good working condition and needs very little attention. Although the lens gets  mouldy, it does not necessarily affect the quality of pictures. The additional lenses- Macro, telezoom and prime lenses have served me well. It is heavy and I found it difficult to carry and shoot without a tripod during the last five years. I was able to use this camera for a wide range of photography. In fact I developed an interest in taking photos of birds since I had this camera. 

So when the mirrorless camera came into the market, I switched to it to see if that can be a suitable alternative, as it was lighter and still gave fairly sharp pictures.

I felt awkward to carry a bulky 5D Canon camera around for two reasons- it was a sought after camera until recently and used by professional photographers. Secondly, it makes others think that I am a serious photographer. So when there are professional photographers in a meeting, wedding or special occasions, they tend to think that I too am a professional photographer. The professional photographers have an affinity for their tribe and I got some benefits from them, offering me vantage positions to take photos. I had not realised till recently that owning a D5 SLR camera enhanced the image of a photographer.

  


The tenth camera was  a Canon M series camera with 21 megapixels, which is my regular camera accompanying me during my travels. It is light in weight and its lenses are equally light. I found it easy to carry around it in the shoulder bag. It is also unobtrusive unlike the 5D digital SLR. However it has disappointed me in its sharpness and zoom functions. The quality of pictures taken with its zoom function is below average. Th convenience of its light weight and easy to carry around, cannot be a good compensation for the poor quality of pictures. I did not go for another mirrorless camera, although Olympus, Fiji, and Sony market better ones, as I got interested in Micro Four thirds camera during this time.



This is the eleventh camera, which I acquired in 2017, a Micro Four Third camera manufactured by Panasonic. It is lighter than a digital SLR. Its lenses are manufactured by Leica and therefore has some class about them. Although it is not a full frame camera, it is good enough as the picture and video quality are comparable to those of a digital SLR. It has a dust and whether protected ally body and all its adjustments and modes are easy to use. It has a menu that is user friendly. I have used this sparingly as I usually carry the mirrorless Canon camera with me. Now that I have got little more used to the Panasonic and the picture quality has really charmed me, I feel inclined to keep this as my first camera for regular use. The prime lenses are of outstanding quality. I cannot say the same about the zoom lens. As it is Micro Four Thirds in its design of the sensor, it cannot match a full frame camera. But it has already become popular because of other advantages. The cameras of this family are also marketed by Fuji, Sony, Olympus, etc. Sony and Fuji seem to bring out something special in  their camera. The Olympus and Panasonic lenses are interchangeable.



I have been particularly impressed by the Leica lens, 200 mm of focal length of 2.8 used in the G5H Panasonic camera. It gives a zoom range upto 600 mm with an adapter the company provides. Having used this prime lens, I realise how easy it is to carry it around unlike a similar prime lens manufactured by Nikon or Canon or Sigma.

There are questions whether the Micro Four Third technology would get marginalised with the advent of the mirrorless SLR cameras marketed by Nikon and Canon during the last few months.  The recent announcement by Fuji, who is a leader in the Micro Four Third technology, that they would not go into mirrorless SLR design and Olympus confining themselves to this technology, it is likely that it has come to stay. The Canon and Nikon lenses which offer a wide range currently for the digital SLR cameras would be used in the mirrorless SLR with the help of converters. The native lenses designed for mirrorless SLRs might be better in quality and lighter in weight. It might take a while for these lenses to be available, although cameras would be available soon.

What is yet another challenge is the megapixel range the mirrorless cameras might offer, 40 or more, which would  need better cards to capture photos and higher storage capacity in the computer. The wireless connectivity for photo transmission might be available but if the transmission is slow, it can be be pain.  So, I have become a convinced advocate for using cameras with Micro Four Third technology. Even professional photographers have made the switch!




As I summarise my own journey into the arena of photography, spread over thirty five years I am aware that most of my experience are confined to taking pictures of children, flowers, birds, and landscapes. As physics of light and technological adaptations are still far too high for me to comprehend, I have been utilitarian in my approach to photographs. I had a need of some photographs and I seem to manage to take them! I am not even sure if the quality matches the standards needed of amateur photographers.

 I have been writing a photoblog from 2012: waymarksofajourney.blogspot.co

It is here I use most of my photographs. I have exhibited some of my photographs. I take time to meditate on the photos, which to me has been a growing experience in understanding myself, others and the environment!

The important gain I have had from photography is an incremental awareness about realities beyond what is obvious and visible.

It is one way of making the interior of my life richer by the different story line which start from the photographs.

For me photography is not just a hobby, but a journey into the lives of people, families, circumstances, nature, special occasions and the micro world. I would have missed the sights of small creatures in the garden but for the photographs that revealed them to me.

I have friends who are regular with photo-shoot outings. Dr Sanjeeth Peter, a cardio-thoracic surgeon is one of them. His photographs are of 'National Geography' standard. He sends a picture calendar every month and the photos in them bring a new world of content and quality. Sanjeeth is my favourite photographer friend with whom I have several conversations on birds, nature, animals, etc.

I do not have a similar passion. I wait for a sight to invite me to capture my attention. Somethings happens within me when I take a photo that has touched me! That is what makes me stay interested in photography!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

03 November, 2018

First Clinical meeting in Developmental Paediatrics and Child Neurology





It is about two years, since we have been thinking about holding a regular clinical meeting in Developmental paediatrics and Child Neurology at the MOSC Medical College.

With Dr Hanna Angel joining as a consultant two months ago, and my colleagues taking initiatives, this happened on 2 November, 2018. Sujith, a resident in Paediatrics, currently in the department for his peripheral posting, is an academic enthusiast, who too contributed to make arrangements for the meeting. Tinu, Sally and Shanthi made all the physical arrangements and even 'managed' to offer tea and Cookie although more came for the meeting than we were ready for!

We are grateful to the dean Dr Diwakar and the Medical Superintendent, Dr. Sojan for their presence and encouragement.  The post graduate trainees in Paediatrics found the meeting insightful and academically enriching.

This was yet another small step in making our work more academically conditioned and oriented! We are in the seventh year of our clinical service. It is a good time to attempt new initiatives. In fact the inter-departmental clinical meeting at MOSC Medical College has been in suspended animation for a while!

The department has arrangement with Dr Sumitha of Ophthalmology, Dr Jacob of ENT, Dr Mathew Abraham of   Orthopaedics and Dr Nisha of psychiatry to welcome children who need their attention, on certain days of the week, which has been functioning now for a year. This has developed into a fraternal consultation facility to plan better for children who are neuro-developmentally disadvantaged. We have had considerable support from other colleagues in Paediatrics, Paediatric endocrinology, Dr Paulose and physiotherapists to evolve a reasonable academic support base. Recently Dr Anand from  Neuro-radiology has been forthcoming with considerable help in interpreting MRI of brain to co-relate clinically and with the EEG. The referrals of children from within the institution come from paediatrics, neonatology, paediatric surgery, neurology, and community medicine. We have had considerable support from the Microbiology, Electrophysiology lab and Biochemistry in optimising our services.

So it was the opportune time to bring this growing fraternal relationships into a new setting by meeting fortnightly for a clinical meeting to discuss clinical situations. This creates a forum for  exchange of information and academic consultation, which hopefully would benefit the faculty and residents in training. 

The forty five minutes we announced as the duration of the meeting, helped the clinicians to plan their schedule and participate in the meeting. Although we planned for discussing two children, we got through discussing only one child. The participation and academic input were commendable.

Dr Hanna led the presentation with input from Occupational therapist Seena, Speech therapist Shalini and psychologist Susan. Dr Anand from Neuro-radiology and Dr Sumitha from Ophthalmology opened the discussion with most valuable input, followed by other clinicians. 

As the clinical situation pertaining to a five year old child, whom we discussed,  was complex and a diagnosis is not yet forthcoming for her recurrent migrating hemiparesis, inspite of the family having consulted three other centres, the discussion helped in enlarging the scope in preventing thrombotic episodes and offering neuro-protective support for the child. Dr Hanna and Susan have been in touch with the family. 

This was a good occasion for us to feel more connected with many clinicians and nurses who have collaborated with us and convey goodwill towards us. I feel grateful and supported! It is a also a sign to me of the progress we are making for transition of the leadership in the department, now that I have formally retired!


M.C.Mathew(text and photo)