A few weeks ago a branch of the nutmeg tree in our front garden broke away in the wind and rain. The above sight of the new shoots from the damaged stem of the tree, gives a message of resilience! In the place of one branch, now with multiple shoots, the branches will be many in the place of one !
A hurt tree recovering from the trauma of an accidental wrenching of its branch in the wind!
There is considerable interest in behavioural science on trauma and its effects in human behaviour. The post-traumatic effects are both acute and su-acute on human psyche.
During my conversations with people in mid life, I get a sense of the effects of traumatic experiences lingering on although in less intense form than when they first occurred. I too have memories of difficult experiences of childhood and youthful years. It was by attending to them consciously and tending the hurts and wounds by an upbuilding attitude, such experiences loose a hold on making the inner ambience negative or reactive.
I found it easier to view difficult experiences as pruning process rather than as a hurt or a loss!
I took time recently to revisit the building blocks of life since I began my medical studies in 1967. It was a bad start with considerable adjustments as I was least inclined towards study of medicine. The first two years brought disappointment more than I could endure at that season of life, when I was in a college, where spoken language was Hindi and Marathi! I felt lost and isolated! From that hurting experience, the recovery by the third year when the clinical bedside experiences became an awakening experience, was inspirational and aspirational!
What resides within me as recollections of that transition period is plenty of pleasant memories and formative experiences. I came across friends who cared and supported whose thoughtful ways left impressions that superseded all the transient subjective experiences of sense of loss!
A loss is often the path leading to a gain!
The butterfly looses its cocoon to fly away colourfully into a wide space. It was a learning experience to view losses as essential to move on to greater awareness, purpose or discovery!
The sights of multiple shoots from the site of a broken branch is a message of invitation to foresee the outcome of a difficult experiences through the optic of wellness and new life!
In my exit examination of post-graduate training in child health, I struggled to discuss a clinical scenario of neurological illness in a child. The examiners gave me the benefit as discussions of cardiovascular and abdominal examinations of difficult clinical conditions went well. I returned from the examination not wanting to be associated with any further study of neurology. But that was the door that was shown to me in 1983, much against my resistance. Having spent forty years in associating with children who had neuro-developmental challenges, the turning point was, when I was enabled to view it as a door of opportunity to learn and grow !
Some experiences in life, although might appear to be a loss initially, would turn out to be formative and transformative when we walk through them with forbearance and fortitude! The stress of such a journey becomes bearable when we surround ourselves with people who care and accompany. I feel grateful to some who have been such a support along the journey thus far. Anna has been a steadfast and intimate life companion in this journey of discovery!
It is important to look away from the traumatic incidents and trust in the new life that would emerge when we wait in readiness to embrace it! The earlier and deeper we can travel to demystify the difficult experiences and find the kernel of truth hidden in them, the better would be the recovery path towards wholeness!
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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