Hearing and Listening!

I keep seeing some sights in our courtyard almost every day from which I get an introduction to the avian behaviour. 

The cable running across our front courtyard is a favourite place for some birds to use it as their flight station. The bird calls from that station, usually invite other birds to arrive to be perched in the adjacent Bell fruit tree. 

I watched, how the Bulbul who arrived, hearing the bird call of the other Bulbul positioned in the cable, responded to each bird call. It turned its head to the direction from where it heard the call. The attentive posturing of the neck and body gave me an indication of how the Bulbul was processing the bird call. The response was attentive listening!

Hearing and listening create the opportunity for processing to respond to what was processed. 

In every conversation with one another, to hear, one needs to be freed from distraction. The sounds and noises from outside and the attitude and feelings inside compete with our hearing attitude. It is when we hear we can listen at the cognitive and emotional level to process. The words spoken represent the thoughts and feelings of another person. It is a person to person contact that is established, when we are at the listening stage. We no longer just hear words and ideas but feel drawn towards the person who speaks. The thoughtfulness and regards for the person spring within, which is what creates the ambience of cordial communication in a conversation. 

When we feel for the person whom we listen to, we are no more at the thought level or idea level to agree or disagree. We are not in a hurry to respond, but stay open to listen more and allow the person who speaks to occupy a space within us. We offer him or her that space regardfully! It is not a thought or an idea we are listening to, but listening to a person!

Listening to a person is receiving a person! Whether we agree with the idea or thoughts is not what matters! The person becomes important enough to be listened to!

The climate of discourse in the social, religious and political spheres in  India is a debate of ideas and thoughts. I fear that a climate of disregard for people has set in. What is an idea if the person is not regarded!

People who express an idea, whether it is only one sided or distorted can only be restored if we are willing to have dialogue respectfully and mindfully of each other. This form of discourse is less in the recent months.  

I wish we rediscover the calling to listen to the person, before we react to his or her thoughts. A person speaks from an experience of hurt, disappointment, anger or fear! It is only when we can understand that, we are able to receive that person and offer the support that person needs to revise his or her thinking!

Every person is our neighbour! He or she is not an enemy!

I fear that humans loose an opportunity to be cordial and courteous if we despise each other!

A listening attitude creates respect and regards for others. When that happens we create a space for dialogue on opposing ideas! The middle path is the way forward and not extremism! A langue of tolerance and thoughtfulness is what we need in our communication!

I like the way the Bulbuls were attentive to each other!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)