I found this Bulbul perched in the Bell fruit tree mostly silent for about fifteen minutes it was perched there. The silence was interrupted by a hushed bird call of short duration interspersed with silence. The hushed bid call was different from the loud, prolonged and sonorous bid call. The bird call had a distinct tune and tone as if it was a self conversation.
I have noticed this behaviour with with Bulbul birds earlier. I had not thought about it beyond just observing it and leaving it as a habit.
But this time, I chose to stay watching this till the Bulbul would leave for the next flight station.
In few minutes, I noticed another Bulbul arriving on the cable, which was about ten feet away from the Bell fruit tree. Every time the Bulbul made the hushed bird call, audible only by heightened attention, the other Bulbul perched in the cable, turned towards the source of the sound. The three photos below show that sequence.
During the in between time both birds remained silent. This turn taking look in response to the bird call, got me thinking. There was a language of love in that hushed bird call, to which the other Bulbul responded gesturally.
Both of them left for the next flight station one after the other. That indicated that there was a reciprocal behaviour emerging between them.
What stayed with me was the silent periods between the hushed bird calls and the silence of the other Bulbul, except turning towards the bird call.
The language of love emerged during the period of silence, was expressed in a hushed tone and tune. The other Bulbul prepared itself in silence to respond. The bird call created in silence, borought them together and they flew away together.
We live in a world of crowded communication strategies. The words we speak get drowned in the multitude of thoughts and ideas we hear. The one who speaks and the one to whom it is spoken are likely to be suffering from listening fatigue. The words spoken do not convey the substance intended or the words heard do not fall in a receptive mind to process to bear fruit.
A passage in the book of Psalm 141, verses 3 and 4 held my attention. The prayer of David, who was the author of the psalm was: 'Set a guard, O Lord over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips. Do not incline my heart to any evil thing, to practice deeds of wickedness..'
David, during a self audit of his conversational style, came to this confession that he needed help to attend to what, when and how he could speak. He turned to God asking Him to be watchful over what he would speak.
We can get a sense of the background for his prayer, when we read verse 4: 'Do not incline my heart to any evil thing, to practice deeds of wickedness with men who do iniquity; and do not let me eat of their delicacies'. He was in a distress over what he heard and how he felt about them.
It is from the stirring of the heart, over stressful or hurting experiences, we speak impulsively and reactively, which in retrospect, add to the fury of the situation instead of bringing comfort or peace. The words spoken once cannot be taken back. An apology would be an act of politeness to express regret, but the listening person has already suffered hurt and an apology does not undo that inner unsettlement.
It was from silence, God spoke those creating words, which brought in to being, what was in the garden of Eden and beyond. When words are spoken arising out of the silence of the heart, words are creative, restorative and instructive. In fact, words would initiate a healing journey, as it happened with the woman who tremblingly touched the garment of Jesus, hoping that she would be healed of her bleeding disorder. Jesus of Nazareth knowing that someone had touched Him and healing power had gone forth turned to look and '..seeing her said: Daughter take courage, your faith has made you well' (Matthew 9:22).
In a chatty society, when words have lost the creative touch, as words do not emerge from the interior silence, we are verbose but not communicating.
The result of this in the words of Henri Nouwen, a renowned retreat leader and a contemplative is, 'The main function of the word, which is communication, is no longer realised. The word no longer communicates, no longer fosters communion, no longer creates community and therefore no longer gives life. The word no longer offers trustworthy ground on which people can meet each other and build society' (Seeds of Hope p9).
In the case of the Bulbuls referred above, what transpired between them was shared silence and in between bird calls from one of them. The shared silence and the in between bird call seem to have brought communication which meant something to both of them.
Let me quote from Henri Nouwen from the same book (p10), 'Silence is the home of the word and Silence gives strength and fruitfulness to the word. We can even say, that words are meant to disclose the mystery of the silence from which they come'.
I find conversations sometimes difficult to relate to. The one who speaks is interrupted by another as he or she is in a hurry to speak or respond. Most speakers speak without regardful of others who are waiting to speak. The pause of silence required between the two speakers is not often practised. The conversations sometimes turn into defence or imposition of an idea without being accommodative of plurality of ideas on a certain issue. Sometimes the conversations turn into accusation and blaming in an aggressive manner disregardful of how they would affect others.
The words spoken, if emerging from silence, can become a light, gift, or a path. On one occasion when I was chairing a governing board meeting, the debate about changing the fees charged for the educational course got prolonged, as most members wanted to express their ideas. Most people wanted the present fees structure to continue which was several times less than what was recommended by the government. The others who wanted to enhance it, although not at the market level, kept pressing for a change of opinion thinking that more discussion would support that idea. The discussion continued although I was about it to bring it to a close. One member got up and said something amusing, but significant to give us a message, 'It is now mid morning break time. We are hungry and thirsty. When we are hypoglycaemic, we need a break and food to think clearly' ! We all laughed and did not need more discussion, even after the mid morning break.
That was one instance, which I clearly remember, how prolonging a conversation did not help to come to a consensus; a break or revisiting the issue after some other agenda items are discussed would have been a better option to create another ambience for discussion.
One practice I follow in the recent years is to make notes of what a person speaks in order to keep me attentive. To receive what a person speaks is a way of honouring a person. One set back in many conversations is the we do not speak in a honouring way, even when we canot consent to the person's opinion.
It is from the language of the heart we speak. That language when emerging from interior silence, will be graceful. The exhortation we read in Colossians 4:6 is, 'Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned as it were, with salt, so that you may know how you should respond to each person' !
I hope I can share similar reflections form my experiences related to Life, Living and Learning on Sundays!
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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