Helping hands

I remember a visit from Dr Tarun George, a resident in medicine in September, 2013, a few days before my coronary by-pass surgery who brought a handout with him to give me about the preparation for surgery and some important suggestions for the post surgery season. It was a valuable document which I read and re-read to get a feel of what it might be during surgery and after surgery. 

The article discussed the post surgery scene vividly- the sense of wellness that would set in, recovery of exercise tolerance, increase in energy level, the desire to return to normal pace of life which was  compromised before surgery, a likely depressive orientation due to an awareness of coronary heart disease, etc. 

Now seven years after surgery, I still value Tarun's thoughtfulness to bring that informative handout which prepared me to think on issues, I would not have normally considered. 

The rose flower above is the first flower in a plant we planted three months ago. It was clothed in rain drops. 

This flower became a symbol of wellness and goodness I experienced during the last seven years. 

St Paul in I Corin.4:1 referred to a profound through that came to my mind during the walk in the garden, 'Let a man regard us in this manner, as servants of Christ and stewards of the mysteries of God'. This phrase set me thinking as I live now a life that was redeemed from my coronary heart disease. I live because years were added to my life after surgery. The role of a servant is to be a listener. In the silence of the interior life, the mysteries of God would become experiential. 

It was while talking to family from the UK yesterday in an online consultation, this dawned on to me. After a forty minutes conversation, the family said, ' Thank you for listening'! I became more conscious of the vocation of listening after my surgery because there was a new sense of gratefulness which has grown within me. 

I went through a intensely difficult season following surgery with strain in relationships which became a burden to carry. During the last three years, I began to experience progressively the mystery of being a servant. A servant can do only as much as he is trusted or needed. When everything looked dark for a season, I found that it is not enough to be a servant, but one ought to move on to experience the mystery of   alienation, loneliness and sense of failure. 

The rose flower was covered with water drops. My attention turned to many experiences of grace which have been special during the last three years. I stayed too long thinking of the strained relationships, until a year back, I was made conscious of the 'givenness of life' as an opportunity' well beyond the difficult experiences. 

I celebrate the last one year as a season of a growing consciousness in sensing the mystery of life and living. St Paul's question, 'What do you have that you did not receive' (1Corin.4:7) brought much clarity and direction to leave behind what was only a season and move on looking into the larger domains of life which are still unfolding. In fact it is during the past one year when I reflected and wrote a lot in an earnest pursuit to cross the bridge to go to the other side of the call fo life. 

As I was about to leave the garden after the walk, I came across the jasmine bunch at the edge of our courtyard. 

I felt moved that there are many buds in this bunch which would soon open! This is the mystery of life that life is larger because of cluster of many experiences. It is life we are called to celebrate! That is what I am learning to do!

It is when we can live gratefully we can become 'helping hands' to others. 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)