On Wednesday this week, the morning sky was frightening to look at as it looked dark with impending heavy rain. But by 8 am the sky looked bright with sunshine. All that happened in our village was a short shower, not heavy at all corresponding to the clouds noticed earlier in the day.
The fear that the cloud formation caused was actually a knee jerk reaction.
This gave me an opportunity to revisit the roots of fear or anxiety within me.
I have grown up with a feeling that heavy clouds would cause heavy rain and such a heavy downpour can cause damage to property, uproot trees, cause the compound wall to fall, flood the property, etc. Th worst is that the electricity connection would get disrupted for hours sometimes. All of this happened in the past and therefore are true.
So fear resides within me.
Fear is an emotional reaction. Sometimes, instead of it being a healthy consciousness of what to do when there is an unexpected event, it can create a perpetual anxiety state.
I listened to a colleague yesterday about how the recent pandemic of COVID 19 has caused fear among people. The latest connected with it is lack of beds in the hospitals because of which people live in fear of not getting good help when they need it.
For me fear can be a paralysing experience. It is fear with makes me hesitant even to take initiatives.
I wrote a letter to a former colleague with whom I had a difference of opinion on some matters earlier. I kept postponing to write for fear of a reaction. What I received was a warm letter of encouragement and appreciation.
Fear dominates only when we loose sight of the abundance of wellness and protection we receive each day.
'Fear not', a oft repeated statement of Jesus of Nazareth to His followers is becoming a resounding note in my soul now, because, I feel that life lived in freedom of fear can be more liberating for oneself and life giving for others.
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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