Life, Living, Learning - 17

This two dried rolled up leaves hanging in the Rambutan tree from which we gathered the fruits two weeks ago caught my attention yesterday!

During the process of gathering the fruits of the tree, we damaged a few twigs, one of which remains hanging as a reminder of the trauma the tree suffered !

Every trauma has a history and memory!

Every physical or emotional trauma we suffer from too leave memories, which sometimes can stay on !

I have a discomfort in one knee which dates back to a fracture in 1982. I remember strained relationships that occurred with few people during the forty five years of my clinical work. 

What do we do with the after effects of emotional trauma!

What is in our domain is make confessions and acknowledgements of our role leading to stressful situations! About two weeks ago, I was able to write the final set of letters to two people whom I knew would have felt strained due to some difficulties in which I too had a role.   Does that bring closure to that! It need not as the other person concerned might need more time to bring it to a closure. 

Often an acute stressful situation might find an earlier resolution unlike a chronic stress or trauma!

I know of a senior friend who would knock at the door of every opportunity to apologise and confess to lessen the effect of emotional stress upon himself and the others !

To forgive is to free a person from our expectation or prescription. It is this act that brings comfort to move on. In so doing one can create an openness for communication as and when it might happen !

However mindfully we might live, we can cause stress and strain in relationships ! The balm of giving and forgiving is one way to lessen the after effects of acts of commission and omission. 

Forgiving oneself and forgiving others become the means for psycho-behavioural comfort and growth! 

The healed emotional scars can get subsumed by the new optic of consideration and appreciation for others. 

We value others because of who they are and whose they are! Our acceptance of others is therefore not conditioned by what they do or do not do to us! 

This liberated view to life and relationships is a journey worth pursuing. It can get interrupted, but to continue on that journey is the pathway to bring wellness within and offer it as a gift to others!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)