Knowing your child- 19

The self feeding instruction of the parent Barbets to the young siblings  is what I noticed in our feeding table. It was this which brought an awareness about the parent-offspring relationship, the parents being the feeder and the offsprings being the finder. 

Today, I was surprised to find a third dimension to this feeding-finder equation!

The parent birds were feeding from the feeding bowl as in the photo below. Their several bird calls did not bring the young birds to the feeding table. It was drizzling and getting dark just before a heavy downpour!

I noticed one of he parents flying away with mouthful of food. 

The parent Barbet waited with its mouthful of feed in the tree where the young birds stayed protected from the rain. The two young birds soon arrived close to the parent bird. 

\

The above four photos of the feeding process intrigued me!

The parent bird on this occasion became a seeker !

That adds a third dimension to the parenting functions. 

A parent is a Seeker and Feeder and a child is a finder !

It is this question that surfaces in my mind for further enquiry!

Are parents active seekers to befriend their children!

Do parents practice the seeking role consistently across the transitions of childhood !

How much parents know of the inner world of thoughts, aspirations, hurts, fear, inhibitions, suspicions, fancy, fantasy, indulgence.... of their children! 

Knowing the child and being known by the chid is the mutual obligation of parenting!

That is the way to usher in children to the safety of parenting watchfulness, when  a child might drift away enticed or drawn away by instincts under the peer influence! 

I wonder whether parents would consider their role as voyagers with their children in their transitions from toddler to a preschooler, then into mid childhood, pre-teenage years and teenage years! 

How can parens accompany their children without spying on them or act as intruders? 

It is by following some family based parenting rituals parents can be voyagers into a child's mid space! Let me suggest from the stories of some parents, how they created unhurried conversations at bed time while reading a story to a child, turning the meal time conversations to the questions and interests of children, each parent having a private time with each child few times in a week,  encouraging the hobbies of a child, befriending a child's friends, making special family occasions at home to be co-travellers with their children to know them!

Parenting then involves, voyaging, seeking, and accompanying!

I feel grateful to Barbets in our garden for giving me more insights about parenting, from the way the parent Barbets behaved towards their baby Barbets! 

Let parents be open to be voyagers and seekers to know their children!

 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)