Light and shadow

This is a cross which was placed in a corner where two walls meet, in a semicircular chapel, which was dedicated for use at the institution where I work now. I have been to this chapel at different times of the day and night. The light falling on it and  casting a shadow on the wall captured my attention on several occasions as the light and shadow were on different during the the day and night. The intensity of light, the angle at which it falls on the cross and the state of the illumination of the room are different determinants of this phenomenon.

Light casts shadows. I was furious, when the attender at the fuel station kept filling the tank in the car, in spite of me requesting him to stop. The tank was about to overflow. After reprimanding him loudly, as I was getting into the car, another attender came towards me smilingly and thanked me for choosing to refill at their station. 

That smile and word of complimented was a light to my soul, which was an instant message of awareness. It revealed that I get upset often at the petrol fueling station for some reason or other. Someone may break the queue, the fuel may overflow, or the attender may refuse to check the air pressure in the car tyre..etc. 

What is this shadow that I came to be aware of at that time?  I carry within me a feeling, that, 'I am important and everyone should treat me with respect'. It is a shadow of ego, false self esteem, and pretension which puffs me up. The true estimate that I can have of myself is that 'I am an ordinary person'. This will help me to offer and receive respect more evenly. Jesus of Nazareth advocated this approach, ' when you have down what was expected of you, think of yourself as an ordinary person'. This creates a community of equals, who are on a common journey of serving and learning from each other. The cross itself historically is a symbol of self giving.  

Such moments of awareness is enlightenment, that can reveal the shadows we carry with us. The shadows will get covered by light as we remain open to revise our lives.