Sights from the field in front of our cottage!

The weather during the last one week was unfavourable for birds and animals. The sights I I saw during a late afternoon when it was thundering and lightning was the scenes above! 

The birds and the sheep family in these pictures seem to carry on in their regular pace inspite of the inclement weather. 

That was a message of significance to me!

I have felt disturbed by events taking place around me. A neighbour diagnosed with cancer, another person with a prolonged illness, and the work that I am involved in taking most of my day time stretching it to fifteen hours on some days, leaving no time for regular walking exercise.... disturbed me! 

The lamb returning its mother for its feed amidst the thundering brought a comforting sight to my soul. 

My thoughts went back to a verse in Isiah 30:!5, 'In return and rest is your salvation and in quietness and confidence is your strength'.

In Psalm, 131:2, the Psalmist stated his experience, 'Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; Like a weaned child rests against his mother'.

Yes, there is a place of rest and hope!

I received a call from the CEO of the hospital the next day. It was the first  meeting after about nine months, when he had indicated that I was underperforming and the department was not moving forward. That was a disturbing message from which I still have not recovered. This time his message was that the department was doing better and we could plan to expand the services in its tenth year and take new initiatives. 

I am not sure if I have enough energy to do that. But his words of hope and trust comforted me. 

All of us live in troubled times. To me, the worst affected in this COVID pandemic season  is children, who are now in the second academic year with home schooling. Every day I hear stories of parents and children who live with shattered hope and distressed experience of having to go on with children home bound. I too feel that children did not receive enough attention during this period. The cinema halls have opened but not the schools! 

I return to my situation! I felt yesterday at my work place that I am to be a messenger of peace and comfort to others! I turned to more intense listening yesterday! One family while leaving said, 'It is after a long time, I was able to unburden myself'!

That restated for me my mission in this troubled time!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Water drops on flowers!

I find watching water drops on flowers, buds and leaves a fascinating and engaging activity in the morning.

The photos form our garden reveal the way they look on most mornings!

They are given an additional radiance when the sun shines on them!

It is our good works towards others which make us distinct!

We can walk through life preoccupied with ourselves or can radiate goodness and mindfulness through our acts of kindness or thoughtfulness!

What makes our lives altruistic in the way we live to relate to others, our environment and other strangers!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

A wood pecker needs a tree!

There are some coconut trees in our garden the Woodpeckers visit regularly. It is a fascinating sight to watch them climb the stem of the tree from below upwards in a circular movement around the stem. They are searching for insects on the trunk for their feed. Some Woodpeckers peck the trunk of the tree as part of their habit. 

A Wood pecker needs a tree!

I came across a friend who emptied her wallet to help a family who was struggling to buy clothes for their daughter to get her ready for school, about to open after a long break due to the COVID pandemic It was a spontaneous gesture of mindfulness. That a family needed a good Samaritan at their time of their need. 

I was stranded in a traffic congestion with no vehicle moving in either direction as one vehicle was caught in the centre blocking the traffic. One gentleman came to the rescue of all of us to save the situation. It was during that fifteen minutes hold up in a busy hour traffic, I found how others make our lives and work easier!

I was struggling to get medical reports completed and postponed it several times. The families who were waiting to proceed overseas needed them. A colleague came forward to make a draft of the report, which made it easy for me. 

A friend telephoned me yesterday to suggest that the weekly On-line meeting on child development and rehabilitation can be developed in to a modular learning programme for professionals who want to have a structure learning support. The proposal to do this looked most impressive. 

A medical student in the college where I work took an ICMR study seriously to find if administering Carbamazepine for seizure control for children can increase the risk of vitamin D deficiency. The result indicated that the risk of developing vitamin D deficiency is three times higher in children who take this drug.  

There are many instances when others contribute to help, clarify, support and care for us each day of our lives!

The Woodpecker needs a tree to climb and peck. We need helpers to attempt and complete the work that we are engaged in!

This is what makes our lives relational and connected! We are humans meant to live relationally and cordially!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A bruised dragon fly!

I watched this dragon fly with some interest as its wings showed marks of ageing and bruising! Its wings looked ragged and damaged on both sides. It remained still on the rose bud for a while for this close inspection. 

As one used to listening to the stories of people who feel hurt and bruised emotionally due toe rev developmental challenges of their children, I got a sense of the trouble this dragonfly would have to negotiate the strong winds and air currents during this season of inclement whether. I have noticed dragon flies high in the air getting carried away by the air current and steady themselves to fly!

I feel that it is common for all of us to get carried away by the events in the circumstances.  Sometimes the events around us are far too difficult to be overcome. 

What struck me about this dragonfly is its hold on the rose bud. A 360 degree view of the way the dragonfly was resting gave me a sense of the strength it receives form the bud. Its holding power is not necessarily strong but the hold on a bud which is not swaying in the air current gives it the stability while resting in between is flight. 

The writer of Psalm 131 in verse 2 shared his experience of living restfully: 'I have composed and quieted my soul'. They are two dimensions of restful living. Th composure is an attitude of the mind towards events within and without. There is a sense of coming to terms with the events. It is when one accepts the turbulence, it looses its grip on us. The feelings of fear, threat, disappointment or failure would get displaced when one receives the situation as transitory and transitional. The pain does not disappear but the strength to turn the pain to a creative direction evolves in our mindset. It is then the next dimension of quietness can set in. The agitated mind finds its respite because we move to process the experiences at a deeper level through the optic of life lessons and past experiences. The stillness is both given and acquired. Given, because the experiences of the past gives us an outlook of hope and peace as we can recall similar experiences and feel strengthened by the outcome. Acquired, because, at the soul level, we are given an anchor to stay centred in God consciousness. It is by practice we develop this orientation. 

When we can move on to this quietude, what happens then is a composure of the mind and stillness in our soul. 

The dragon fly found its resting place and its strength to hold on although its wings were bruised!

 This is the story of hope in every situation when we feel overwhelmed!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

Today's Flowers in our garden!

After three weeks of incessant rains, the day was dry, bright, hot and humid today. The flowers had a new look in the sunshine and did not look drooping with water soaked petals.

I sometimes have felt that events of some days can be heavy and give me a sense of feeling low and depleted. 

The sunshine in our lives get drowned by the events which arouse sadness and sorrow. At the end of a long consultation, when a family took time to describe the travails they had to face recently with their child getting into trouble in the school forcing them to look for another school, I felt fatigued. Before they left, one of them turned to me and said, 'We heard that you were offering physical consultation even during lockdowns during the last several months. We have remembered you and have often talked about you'. That was a moment of consolation for me. There are people whom you might not know, who carry you in their thoughts! This was a sunshine to my soul amidst the low of that consultation. 

As I walked in the garden, each of these flowers above, gave me a feeling of shining in the sunshine. Its glory was brought to it by the sun rays.

Dr K.A.Abraham a reputed cardiologist, trained at CMC Vellore, who moved on to his eternal abode on Friday at the age of 79 years, pioneered angioplasty in India while working at the Railway Hospital at Chennai. During a short meeting with him when Anna and I lived in Chennai, I remember asking him about the risky procedure of angioplasty. His response was, ''God guides me on occasions when there are difficulties with a procedure in the Cath lab'! He lived and practiced medicine with a sense of hope and comfort. He was composed and gentle confident. 

I felt carried and comforted while I was returning home at the end of a difficult day!

God gives us enough consciousness of His presence and goodness for each day to stay encouraged!

These flowers reminded me of a God who draws near when we feel heavy of heart and weary in spirit! 

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

The nesting season!

These parakeets have been steadily carving out a place for their nests in this coconut tree in our garden!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Nature's plentiful provision!

The papaya fruit trees are plenty of fruits! I see that as a striking sight in most gardens. It is one fruit tree that seems to have benefited most due to the climate change of this year with the rainy season extending to about nine months. 

We planted one papaya tree three years ago and we have none of them in our property, all because of bird droppings!

This vitamin A rich fruit was the main source of vitamin A during my student days in rural areas where vitamin A deficiency used to affect the eyes of malnourished children. On project the community medicine department of Government Medical College, Nagpur where I was a student undertook in few villages in 1970, was to provide a papaya sapling to each household. We as students were required to visit these homes to make sure that the families took care of the fruit tree. It was rather sensational that children were protected from Keratomalacia since parents started giving this fruit to children. This was much before the supplementation of Vitamin A was included in the national health care programme. 

There are at least five varieties of this fruit in our garden, each with a distinct appearance of colour in its leaves, shape of fruit and its colour inside when cut!

Most homes would have a curry leaf plant and a papaya fruit tree in their kitchen garden. 

This fruit has some  medicinal value to facilitate healing of wounds in the skin!

A fruit tree with manifold benefits!

A true symbol of life-giving presence!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

A movement in the sky in seven minutes

The sight of the sky turning  intensely dark and a heavy downpour lasting for an hour flooded our courtyard and some parts fo our property!

The sight of the clouds turning dark and dusk setting in early was a strange experience to say the least! We escaped with no major damage, but people elsewhere in the state of Kerala suffered huge losses of houses and property in that late afternoon heavy downpour with strong winds. Some people including children lsat their lives.

This fury of nature is not so uncommon in the last two years. We have had state wide flooding and loss of human lives and property. 

The climate watchers predicted incessant rain till 20th of this month. 

During the last ten years since we began living in our cottage, it is one year, the rainy season has extended to about nine months. I find our property and the vegetations looking battered! This is the time when our rose bushes are usually full with flowers. But they have not sprouted well since they were pruned in May as the dry spell required for them to grow was denied to them. 

This was a metaphor to me as I ruminated on this! The thick and dark cloud of economic stress since the COVID pandemic has hit people in our neighbourhood and they feel bereft of hope as return to normalcy is not in sight!

It is the time to live neighbour friendly and more liberal in mindfulness towards them and less indulgent on ourselves. 

It is the time to bring hope and cheer by acts of kindness!

M.C.Mathew(text and poto)

A Mask protects but hides a child's' face!

As I watched this child takes out and puts on the face mask a few times while sailing in a boat, I was made to ponder over how children got used to using the face mask during this COVID pandemic season!

However seeing this child play with the mask, taking it out and putting on at the suggestion of her parents, gave me a sense of the struggle that this child and most other children would have had to keep their face hidden!

It is on a face we read the story of cheerfulness or anguish, delight or sadness, surprise  or sorrow! It is this which has remained hidden to others by masking our face. 

We are social beings and look to each other to draw our inspiration or encouragement. The good morning we offer to each other is almost sterile as we do not have an opportunity to read the face of a person and respond appropriately. We remain hidden to each other and feel distanced on account of this. 

I remembered while thinking about it,  instances when I met parents with profound sorrow in their heart but not known to me due to the face mask ! For a listener or as one involved in a work where sorrow and grief is inherent to the specialty I practice, I found that I was made to stay away from sensing the mood of a family by not having an access to watching their face. 

 

I have for the last year depended on the body language and the tone and pitch of the voice to sense if a family was in  a state of unsettlement! Sometimes that gave me an indication to explore their emotional wellness. There are other times when I was not sharp enough to sense the world of sorrow in which parents spend their sojourning!

How much this masking of the face has changed us from being perceptive and relational! I telephoned ten people and asked them to find out how face covering has made them feel while talking to each other! Seven of them talked about a barrier that is created from sensing the emotional variations on the face of a listener during a conversation. It is by feeling the way how conversations impact a listener, we often modulate our voice and content of the conversations.

In fact the word 'social distancing' has been a most unthoughtful perspective,  while spreading the necessity to wear a mask during the Corona pandemic. All that was needed was to emphasise on practicing 'physical distancing'! We have taken away the heart of communication, which is social connectivity and emotional reciprocity!

The pandemic has left with us many voids-one of them is an enforced indifference to know the mood and wellness or sadness of people by looking at the face. I miss the smiles on the faces of people when we exchange morning or evening greetings. I feel strange that I haver to speak without following the cues expressed in the face of people during a conversation!

This 'hiddenness' behind a mask is a social disservice! But it is a necessity for some more time!

So if video conversations have become popular, it is most natural. We long to see each other and feel connected!

I hope staying hidden from each other would not become the new 'social norm'!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

 

An evening of fellowship!

Anna organised yet another opportunity for us to gather for fellowship, table games and a meal yesterday in the department where I work.

It was the first get-together after our anniversary celebrations to mark the tenth year of the department. 

During the day, children who visited were children at five years or below, all of whom had a delayed language development with set back in behaviour and social skills. Two toddlers resisted clinical examination and protested when approached! Both of them had signs of Separation-Anxiety disorder. This is a frequent dysfunction in toddlers. Out of 15 toddlers whom I welcomed in the last two weeks, ten of them had this dysfunction. This distressed me. All of them began their screen time exposure at six months or earlier. The average time which they spent watching TV or the mobile phones was four hours in. day. One child spent the whole waking hours watching cartoons. 

This is an appalling situation! Children to grow up without opportunities to play with parents, listen to their singing, interacting at meal times or leisure times is a dangerous trend for parents and children. Parents are involved to meet the needs of children and not for creating intimacy with them. Children turn to parents to meet their needs and not for developing bonding to belong. 

As we spent the evening as a group to relax around the meal table, my thoughts returned to how each professional is carrying the grief stories of parents in their thoughts!

I used to promote a personal development plan for each professional during my involvement with them over the last thirty five years in the four places I worked. There used to be formal processes towards this, which became strategic for some professionals. The weekly debriefing session for the professionals is non-existent now. The three monthly audit of personal development plan is also not in practice. I realised how just like children drifting to choose to be occupied with media because parents are not proactive to build relationships, I feel I have slipped in not providing the opportunities for professionals to stay 'alive' and 'relational' by encouraging them to have a personal development pursuit. I wonder whether professionals would want to consider this as an essential part of their formative process!

We are humans. Our formation is a fundamental need. The work place is for providing input into the lives of professionals. It is what shall make them attend to their lives to work leisurely and spontaneously. 

There was laughter, conversation and sharing yesterday! I felt that this is an essential part of life at work!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

The morning!

The grey clouds against a blue sky and white glistening clouds!

The grey clouds are often in the sky somewhere but it does not  mean that it shall rain!

Living without being 'occupied' with the thoughts about the grey cloud is the way to live beyond anxiety!

The bright glistening clouds are given to us to live in an orientation that the sunshine shall accompany us!

The sunshine shall overshadow the grey clouds. 

We live with doubts, fears and anxieties, but hope is large enough to keep us going forward restfully!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Helping Hands

I had a disaster start at work yesterday. At the morning academic meeting, I reacted ungraciously to not being appreciative of an effort taken to enable parents to be more informed about the developmental challenges in children! I felt awful following my avoidable comments. I do not think that I recovered from a sense of guilt and disappointment with myself during most of the day. 

This happened in the backdrop of a message I received from a sunbird who bathed in little water found on a banana leaf! I wrote about this experience of 'Little is good enough' on this blog a few days ago! I felt that I communicated to colleagues at work in the morning meeting that I was not satisfied with little!

There were a few demanding situations during consultation yesterday, when I felt that parents could have been more thoughtful towards their children. I felt the need to feel debriefed, but I did not have the opportunity for it. 

I still brood over comments I heard about six months ago from the administrators of the institution that I do not take adequate efforts to increase the number of children I welcome each day!

Since then, I felt moved to respond to that challenge and I feel delighted now that the number of children visiting for consultation has doubled. I feel good that it is happening. Most of the days I finish work only after 4.30 pm when all the others in the department would have dispersed for the evening. 

One task I postpone to do at the end of the consultations is,  entering manually the data about children in a register, from which it is transferred to the digital format by a colleague the next day.  

Yesterday while I was entering the data a colleague and a visitor in the department offered to help in entering the data, when I was still completing the notes on the last child who visited. I felt touched by that act of kindness! They did it spontaneously and thoughtfully. Sometimes this part of the work takes longer time as diagnosis gets revised and referring to earlier notes become necessary! They both did this and I felt glad for the help.

After this, I was on my way to the Medical Records department to return the hospital charts, when I met a senior administrator, who stopped me to find out whey I was carrying the charts to return. It was nearing 6.30 pm. He looked surprised that I was staying beyond working hours to complete the work. He looked even more surprised that there were more children visiting the department now, as he was one of them who  in a meeting suggested six months ago that I had to be more enthusiastic to welcome children. He at that time ignored that children did not come in good number because there was a whisper campaign by some doubting my competencies! They even referred to my age as reason to avoid consulting me!

When I reached the Medical Records Department to return the Hospital charts, it was the same person who was often present there to receive the charts when I had to go to return them. One day it was 7.30 pm when I went to return the charts. This person referred to it and said, that she had not come across any doctor personally coming to return charts at the end of the day and added, 'you work because you want to help'! That was like a shower of blessing to me at the end of the day, when I was still brooding over my inconsiderate comments in the morning meeting. 

The two who helped to complete the register; the hospital administrator who looked surprised and the person in the Medical Records Office who shared a complement ... small things, but surely encouraging enough to close the day with gratefulness!

It was at the end of the day, I realised that there are 'Helping hands' who are reaching out to each of us in different ways. I recall how the domestic helper brings tea each day! I watch the domestic helpers keeping the department space tidy! I watch my colleagues engaging families!

Let us remember to celebrate and acknowledge the Helping Hands!  

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Vigilantly present!

 

During the three minutes or so I had a closer view of this Bulbul, I noticed several body movements out of which I picked up these photos in order to connect with the behaviour of this bird. 

A crow was in the vicinity. The Bulbul was observing the behaviour of the crow. When the crow moved to the adjacent tree, the Bulbul flew away. 

Between its arrival in our courtyard and flying away, I noticed the body movements of Bulbul, which conveyed different perceptions of the environment.  

Yes, it was utmost vigilant!

Being present vigilantly is a responsible way of living!

I notice from my experience that such an attitude can evolve only by attentiveness to the events around us and the voice from within. 

What events around us can do is either a sense of fear or comfort. If fear is the dominant feeling, it needs to be demystified and if comfort is the feeling it needs to be turned into attentiveness. 

That is why transition times are useful in between our work schedule, to audit the inner filter that is within us at that time. 

To be comfortable during the time of pressure or a challenge is possible when we return to the position of being restful. It is a good habit to develop the practice of 'returning and resting' inwardly amidst the travails of daily work !

The inner composure and wellness create space to absorb the pressure and demands of the day!

The Bulbul in the photo sequence above seemed to behave from inward composure and awareness of the environment!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Evening Visitors!

The avian visitors in our courtyard! 

First it was a single Bulbul, then a pair. Then it was a single Magpie Robin, followed by  a pair! It was almost dusk and the bird movements occurred in between a short pause of the drizzle!

The environment around us is alive and vibrant if only w can pause and take tome to be carried away to realities of events around us. 

It is when we live pre-occupied we lose the romance in nature, which tells us of life that is lived around us in a spirit of peace a joy!

The political and social events around us make us sometimes feel bogged down. With schools getting ready to open on Its November, parents are weary of what might happen to children if there is a surge of the pandemic of Corona! The farmers are in an awful state of anxiety about their future following a terrible event of a vehicle running over some, killing six people in the state of Uttar Pradesh!

Yes, all of these are true!

However life is to be seen through an optic of living fully amidst pain and grief!

I felt renewed by sighting the avian pairs, who made their habitual visit to our courtyard even on a rainy day!

Life is for Living, Learning and Leavening!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)