The last event of the day!

I left the camera on the table and a colleague clicked this photo as I was getting ready to close the day around five in the evening. Each day, when I make a manual entry into the register I keep with the details of children I welcome for consultation, is also a time to recollect the events of the day. 

Let me share a conversation which was the highlight of the day.

A mother who had a twin pregnancy at forty eight years of age , after 22 years of marriage, following treatment for infertility, delivered them prematurely at seven months. From five months onwards she needed hospitalisation as one of the babies was suspected to have reduced foetal blood circulation. She took leave for conceiving and subsequently lost her job. Her husband had to be with her during her hospitalisation and for several months after the children were born. So he too lost his job. The seventy days of care of the infants in the neonatal special care consumed all their savings. 

The first twin has had developmental needs, for which she has sought help from different specialists for the last nine years. He has an extrapyramidal form of Central Motor Dysfunction with involuntary movements. He does well academically and has attained good  grades inspite of his difficulty to write. He moves with some difficulty as the involuntary movement of the neck alter his body balance. He does not show much of the strain he might have in walking, because he has a resolve to overcome the challenges. He communicated well about his experiences at school.

The mother during her narration of events in her life made a mention of the joint family that she is part of. It is her husband's brother who takes care of the financial needs of the family to a large extent, as her husband was not able to get back to a regular job after he lost his job. She too was not able to return to work due to the demands on her in attending to the needs of children. 

A tearful mother, a caring joint family, committed parents for the wellness of their child and a resilient mother who has turned her struggles into a challenge- that is how I recalled that conversation while I was making the entry in the register.

I met with the other twin and the father before concluding the consultation, both of whom had an unusual cheer and enthusiasm. 

That is when it occurred to me that this mother refused to be in a victim role, but rose to the occasion to be a resource for the family. Her children bear the marks of the cheerful spirit of the mother. 

One or two consultations each day is a sacred experience,  knowing the way a family functions amidst the difficult situations. The sorrow is partly subsumed in the new strength they find to live in hope and purpose. 

I have often asked this question in the fortieth year of my full time involvement with children, who are developmentally challenged: what makes me to continue amidst the stories of sadness and disappointments!

It is the stories of a few families each day, I listen to, which inspire me to find God at work in the lives of families. They live beyond their sorrow because they find meaning and purpose by being voyagers in to the horizon beyond the usual! 

When the family said farewell at the end of the meeting told me, 'We want to come back to meet again'! They made me feel valued! I felt touched by the joy of living they communicate! 

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

Fragile and vulnerable, but survived a storm!

This flower, Nuttall's sensitive Briar belonging to the family of Mimosa Nuttall has become a special flower to me. 

I went to look for these flowers in our garden after a windy evening which ended in a heavy down pour. They looked wilted and appeared to be fading away. However when I went to look for them I found the flowers fully alive and fresh next morning. 

I came across letter a two days back, a professional working in the department where I work,  wrote to the management of the institution, listing complaints about me. I was shown this letter which also mentioned the intent of the person to discontinue from the service in the institution on account of my 'lapses'. I allowed the letter to be submitted to the institution. I was told later in the day that he letter was submitted, but the administration denied receiving such a letter. 

Most of what was written in the letter were not factual, but impressions or speculations. The letter carried anger and accusation. 

I was shaken and lost my sense of purpose in being in a place like this, when a person working with me made the work place an unsettling place for me and others. 

It was in that state of emotional turbulence I went back to look for the Mimosa Nuttall flowers. They had withstood the storm not just for one day, but two days. 

These flowers were strong by nature but were also protected by grass which had overgrown around the flowers. The grass reduced the intensity of the wind and protected the flowers. 

Going to work every bday now has become too heavy to bear. As I discover irregularities and unhealthy practices that crept in during the last two years, I realised that a few professionals  have betrayed trust reposed on them. 

What sustains us in the midst of any storm is not our strength alone, but what encircles one in such circumstances. 

A friend called in to say yesterday that he wanted to resume weekly conversation I used to offer to him and his family earlier for a few years. That came as a balm amidst pain and desolation. 

I want to give the person the benefit of doubt and consider the provocative letter written in an impulsive way.  

Having done that, it is good for me to accept the universal truth that all relationships also have a time frame after which the relationships loose value and significance!

We are called to live our lives looking beyond our circumstances. The lenten season is a reminder of endurance and steadfastness and a call to release others to be free of your expectations of them!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)