Attraction and Discernment

One off the pleasant occupations I have is to watch children at play. Most children begin to fix their eyes on attractive items, especially the moving toys between three and four  months. In fact they turn over from the back to the side and to their tummy while attempting to reach out to something that they notice in their vicinity. They are drawn by what attracts them. This is an instinct we carry with us from the time we are born. A baby reaches out to the mother's breast when he or she is hungry as the smell of milk attracts the baby to the mother's breast.

All through infancy and toddler years, most children will try to pick up  even a scorpion, not knowing that it can sting. Only much later, children make sense of the environment through the instruction they receive and gaining from personal experiences.

We are drawn by what attracts us. We choose the attire we wear, the vehicles we buy, films we watch, places we visit, friends we keep, parties we go to, food and drink we consume, etc based on how much we are attracted by these. In all these attractions, there is a hidden self gratification instinct. Sometimes the desire to gratify oneself overtakes the sense of discernment of its value,meaning or long term impact. 

One child who habitually steals money from home, is obsessed with her desire to be with her friends in the canteen at lunch time to have burgers. She is overcome by a passion that blinds her conscience. While listening to her, I realized that although she gets punished for this, it is too strong a pull which gives in to her sense of right and wrong. She found help only, when she was helped to have friends at home and play together with them. She hails from a broken home and a lot had to be changed at home before she was willing to change her pattern.

Let me suggest that, blaming, punishing and increasing the guilt level would not be a reasonable  way to relate to pre-adolescent and adolescent children when they go through seasons in their lives carried away by attractions and temptations. Listening, seeking help from others who may be experienced to help, patience, affirmation when small steps towards change are taken, accompanying them with love, etc. are better alternatives than demanding compliance.

We are always subject to a attractions because we are feeling and sensual beings. What helps us to stay on course is our inner thermostat of moral consciousness and personal spirituality nurtured by habit of prayerful encounter with oneself.

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)