'Unarmed truth and unconditional love'

The caption to this is taken from a phrase, late Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. used in his response speech, at the time of receiving the Nobel Prize for peace. 

Let me try if I can bring this phrase and its meaning in the context of marriage. The truth about marriage is that the 'two shall become one flesh' in a setting of unconditional love.

There are two flower bunches of red Ixora, originating from the same stem.  These flowers would symbolize a man and woman coming together in marriage, from a common human family. Each person is distinct and has similarities and dissimilarities. The two  bunches appear wide apart at the bottom, but converge and intertwine with each other at the top. 

In fact, the second picture of the same bunches of flowers, taken from another view, does not show the two stalks. They almost look as one large flower, with a noticeable notch between it in the centre, as the only indication that they are actually two. This is the growing reality in marriage that the two individuals have an enlarging common space between them, created by mutual  relationship. There is a drawing power towards oneness in marriage. This truth is not a force that demands compliance, but an invitation for an experience of the delight of oneness in marriage.

What is this drawing power that makes it happen? It is unconditional love. 

I watched this expressed between an elderly couple. The husband needs  help for mobility in a wheel chair and his wife navigates the wheel chair. The wife is hard of hearing and the husbands lip reads news, conversations, messages, etc to his wife. They both have constraints in their abilities but create space for each other's well being. Each partner brings into marriage, skills, resources and abilities. There is acceptance, communication, forgiveness and complimentality which constitute this unconditional love. The conditions of expectations and projections fade away in such a setting.

The unconditional love in marriage relationship becomes an authentic reality, if the couple is open to receiving the unconditional love of God as God alone is love and He alone can make us loving and lovable.    

There are three practical steps couples can take for this oneness to emerge. Find unhurried time to talk and listen to each other. This provides continuing connectivity emotionally. Secondly, express acts of kindness and tenderness to each other to grow in  intimacy. Thirdly, focus on marriage enrichment by a discipline of exercises to promote communication, trust and mutuality.

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

Acknowledgement: Anna and I gifted a photo of a similar flower bunch to Anandit and Aswathi as a symbol for their marriage, three years ago. We found a similar flower bunch this week. This prompted me to write this.