Memories and example!

This is a chilli plant my mother planted perhaps about ten years ago! It still gives its yield through out the year. It is on the walkway leading to our cottage and therefore it brings back several memories every time I walk pass this plant. My mother usually preferred to use the vegetables grown in her garden, which she got organised with the help of the domestic helper. 

I remember her as a teacher committed to her profession in an admirable way. Half way through her teaching career she went for a year's course on advancing her skills in play-way method of teaching children in the middle school. In the early sixties, the Montessori form of education had just been introduced in the country. She felt that method to be a better way of helping children learn than the conventional approach of teaching with 'Chalk and black board'! During her training, she was allowed to submit her project work in her own handwriting instead of being typed, in view of her commendable handwriting. I was told by my teachers to 'follow the style' of my mother's handwriting. I remember this because, we used to have handwriting competitions at school. On  a few occasions, I received prizes for good handwriting. 

I remember Anna for her habit of writing. She too has a legible and well formed handwriting. During our courtship of one year what sustained us was letters that we wrote to each other. The late seventies in India was still without an easy access to telephones or e-mails. We depended on the postal system which usually delivered letters on the third or fourth day. Anna was at CMC Vellore and I was at Medical College, Nagpur. Our letters formed our understanding and aspirations for our life together.  Both of us preserved those letters and consider them as formative in our early relationship. The handwritten letters are infrequent now-a-days. The inland, which the postal department produced, was frequently used as it gave three pages to write.

What is special about a hand written letter! I feel that it carries a personal touch! 

Recently I came across a handwritten message from late Dr L B Joseph, a former director of CMC, Vellore, written in  six page letter he had typed himself, about six months before his home call. I got to know him from the time I was in the CMC governing Council in 1984. It was coincidental. Dr Joseph was keen to have a policy for CMC Vellore on the Medical Termination of pregnancy, for which the council constituted a three member committee. I was a member along with Dr K.C.Mmmen and Dr. V.I.Mathen. I was inducted to this committee because of the book I had written, 'Let me live-an alternative to abortion'! Dr Joseph appreciated my efforts to present a Biblical view on the value and sanctity of life. Since then, Dr Joseph on several occasions reached out to me even after he retired from CMC.

One such occasion was when there was a controversy on the admission for the undergraduates in 2006, when the sponsorship of students by the churches was replaced by a selection process based on merit alone due to a pressure from the state government! Dr Joseph was deeply disturbed by this and questioned it in the local court. His petition was dismissed. I met him on the morning when he was getting ready to approach the high court. Following an hour long conversation he deferred going to the court and requested me to speak to his lawyer about dropping the petition to appeal in the high court. His readiness to explore other options was magnanimous. The CMC council appointed a committee to look into the matter and gave recommendations to prevent such things from happening. It was found out later that CMC had already legal protection to proceed with its own admission policy, which was overlooked or not known to the administration!

In the message he wrote to me in that typed letter, he shared some thoughts about his concerns about the need to find some revised approach to the governance of CMC Vellore. His thoughts were profound and practical. When I was invited to chair the governing council, although I refused for a year or so, among other pressures to reconsider, one inspiring thought that came to me about accepting it was this handwritten message form Dr Jospeh to think about the future of CMC and its governance. Although, I initiated some discussion on the governance of the institution internally with the faculty and administration, it is after my term in the council s its chairman, a committee is being constituted to look into the governance in view of its diversification, multiple campuses, increase in the staff strength, new regulatory requirements, imposed change in admission policy for the undergraduate and post-gradaute courses, etc.  

Dr Joseph was an example of an honourable leader. During his term in the office as a two term director, there was as strike by the hospital employees against disciplinary action taken towards some erring staff. The strike divided the community and there was declining trust and mutuality within the community. He got the then chaplain, Rev A.C.Oommen along with Dr P. Zachariah to find a way forward in bringing reconciliation. Along with this, Dr Joseph also showed considerable openness to dialogue with those who were offended in any way! 

I remember many occasions of visiting him and listening to inspring stories and of those his wife. I felt honoured the way they trusted me with their personal stories of family life. They were both musicians with profound interest in western classicals. One privilege, I had, which according to them was offered only to few visitors, was listening to them play the piano for me. They lavished their affection on me and I feel grateful. I feel regretful that I was not able to attend their funerals. However, I did have an ppportunity to meet them when they were ailing!

However the last occasion when I visited Dr Joseph was few weeks before his home call. He was admitted to the hospital a few times during recurrent illnesses. He had by then decided to stay at home, with his son in the RUHSA campus and take only palliative care. That was an occasion when we had a long time to relive many happy occasions of fellowship times spread over 25 years. His faith and hope in a loving God was radiant. He spoke of his late wife most affectionately and recollected each member of his family with loving admiration. We recalled common friends. During that two hour meeting, Dr Joseph conveyed the pilgrim spirit of ‘going home, when called’. He invited me to pray and that indeed turned out to be a solemn occasion for both of us. His loving handshake looking into my eyes, saying, ‘MC, you have been a faithful friend and a companion’ resonate in  my heart. A close friend of Dr Joseph, Dr Jayabalan,who was a regular visitor of Dr Joseph told me recently that Dr Joseph referred to me  as a ‘trusted friend, who lived my calling mindful of others’! That was a blessing to my soul. I remember receiving two books authored by Dr Joseph during my last visit to him.

That is how the faculty and staff retreats began as a means of upbuilding the CMC community. Every director during his or her term in the office normally asked the chaplaincy department to organise retreats for the faculty to refresh the faculty with the values and ethos of the institution! I was privileged to attend the retreat series led by Re. Dr Valsan Thampu, organised by Dr V.I.Mathen, during his term as the director. Anna and I had joined CMC in 1997. This experience helped us to integrate into the life of the institution. It was this experience which helped me to be available to organise the retreats when two directors, Dr George Chandy and Dr. Sunil Chandy requested me to do so. Dr Suranjan Bhattacharji, during his term as the director organised retreats for the faculty and post graduate students with the help pf Dr. George Mathew, the principal at that time. I was also requested to be involved to help, but could not do so as it was close to my retirement from the faculty of CMC.  

Our lives are pages of history and memories. There are some whose examples inspire us. To live gratefully and gracefully is our calling!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

What is behind!

I was passing by this rose flower which was blossoming between tow banana leaves. But When I looked form behind I noticed two buds ! I had almost missed the buds!

There are many things hidden to us because we do not get the larger view of what is around! To be able to get the larger view, the starting point is to search for what we already know. I have a tendency to conclude too early! That is what leaves us incomplete with information or opinions!

During the recent rains and flooding, there were tow parallel opinions that were advocated by people which divided the opinion. One group argued that it was the heavy rain which caused the flood and the other group argued to suggest that the 12 or so dams which were opened suddenly without due planning, caused the flood. 

The clarification came later from scientific study that both together constituted the flood. The heavy rain overnight exceeded the storage capacity in the dams and the water had to be let out! It is possible that the extent of the flooding could have been contained had there been an experience earlier. Such an experience happened after about 100 years! 

Whether it is a major decision or small decision, the opinions represent different shades of truth!

For all of us, it is a lesson of some significance!

M.C.Mathew(text nad photo)

Another sightings!

Another two dragon flies, seen in our garden for the first time during this month! The second sighting was accidental. I took a photo of the stem of a tree because to record the shoots sprouting on the stem. Seeing the dragon fly in the pre-review, I spotted it and kept watching it to be still!  

It is easier to photograph dragon flies than Butterflies! I kept following two butterflies for a while to allow them to settle on a flower. They were faster than what the camera could shoot!  Also the battery of the camera was almost drained!

The dragon flies do not feed on the flowers or leaves, as they are carnivorous and feed from insects in the fresh water! The butterflies feed on honey. That might be the reason for their behaviour! The butterflies are on the search for honey while the dragon flies rest on the leaves, stem or flowers!

Our habits influence our behaviour. 

Yesterday, I watched two children. One played with twigs on the ground and the other with sand! Both of them are temperamentally different, but both are adorable and surprised me the way they played imaginatively! 

I have become more familiar with this recently when I have had to associate with some friends in a collaborative work! The differences between people were due to the habits they developed to view and respond to situations! Our habits are our resources as much as we are open to adapt and revise to allow the interaction to give us new learning experiences!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The colour transition!

There is a new colour choice for buildings in the place where I live! Does it signify anything. I asked some architects about it recently! Their thoughts gave me a insight about the way changes are taking place all around us!

All the three architects referred to the 'new age' thought process. There is an interest in colours which have not been popular earlier for painting buildings!

To them people seem to be looking for something new always.

This how new 'values' are being added.

There is a lot to think about this change process!

Yesterday, I stood ten minutes to cross a road at a pedestrian crossing with Zebra lines. None stopped. So I could cross only when there was not traffic!

If this is the new generational thinking or the result of new 'Values', a lot to be concerned about! I narrowly escaped being hit by a fast driven car!

Welcome change, if the change is also good for others!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)

The two...!

The earliest church building and the second church building have many contrasting features! Between the two church buildings, the congregation that worships here covers a history of about two hundred years or more!

There is a serious question being raised by many from within the church, whether the church is losing its mission of serving and caring, amidst the material prosperity many church congregations are blessed with! 

We live at a time, when the news media is proactive to portray the acts of commission of the leaders of the church in their life style, moral choices and righteous living to which they committed themselves when they consecrated to the ministry within the church. The laity too seems to be drifting from righteous living!

The cultural monolithic invasion to our thinking which is imposed on us by the new dispensation of political  transition taking place in India raises many questions. This although is a disturbing thought, brings a healthy dimension to the life those who are the followers of Jesus of Nazareth. There is a greater vigilance on the way the followers of Jesus, match their words with a testimony of their lives! This is most welcome!

The mission of those who are followers of Jesus is to excel in serving in difficult times and be followers of the 'Suffering servant', instead of being preoccupied with a 'victim' or 'persecution' attitude. All things do work for the good if we live trustfully! Is this not the Biblical tradition!

M.C.Mathew

Outside and inside a church building!

Anna and I were at an ancient Church building for an occasion!

This is a Church building of longstanding history and traditions! The faithful view this church building with high regard. I spent my infancy and toddler period in the next village, which too has a similar church building of considerable importance in church history in Kerala. I was visiting this church building after sixty years. The interior was similar in many ways except for the changes in some decorative additions to the interior. 

What touched me most was the way the presbyters waited at the altar looking towards the arriving worshippers with a message of warmth and welcome !

What is that which prepares the worshippers to be present once they are in the sanctuary! It is the spirit and attitude with which the worshippers are enabled to 'come to God'!

All of us are on a life journey towards God, in response to the invitation of Jesus of Nazareth, who said, "Come to me..'! All of su are at risk of losing our way! The coming together of the faithful in congregational worship is to hear this call again and be made ready to continue this journey! The presbyters who are the 'shepherd of the sheep' are the pointers to this journey and destiny!

I felt touched by the way these presbyters waited at the altar with an expectant and joyful invitation to 'Come'! 

The worshippers need a direction towards God, form the time they arrive in the sanctuary. The decorative interior in the sanctuary itself can be a distraction unless the worshippers are enabled to 'worship in truth and spirit'!

Thanks to these two Presbyters, who made a difference in inviting the congregation to an inner orientation towards God!

M.C.Mathew (text and photo)

The three and the wall!

For the last eight days, these three workers, two men and one woman were engaged in building a wall along the edge of of our property. It is sixty feet long, two feet wide and seven feet in height! It required four truck load of granite stones, transported from a quarry five kilometres away! The earth mover had to come twice to excavate the ground and the sides to build thus far! I admire the care and a attention with which they do their work!

Yesterday I met a school class mate, who retired as an officer in the transport department. He is similar in age to mine and spends most of his time farming currently. One produce from his farm is nutmeg. It was in the shop, I met him, where he came to sell the nutmeg, where I too had gone to sell nutmeg!  That gave us a short time to recollect our childhood.

He reminded me of the time, when the nutmeg trees were first introduced into the village. He thought that it was my father who travelled seventy kilometres to buy fifty nutmeg saplings from a government farm! He planted forty in our property and distributed the rest to his friends. So six other families too had nutmeg saplings for them to experiment with nutmeg farming. Now it is the most popular cash crops for many families. It is source of additional income for all of us, without having to pay a lot of attention during the year. The trees need watering during the summer and manuring twice! 

I was encouraged to recall this story of my father partly being responsible for introducing nutmeg to the village sixty five years ago. He had earlier introduced coconut farming five years before he got others introduced to nutmeg farming. 

The wall that is being replaced now in the above picture, was built then with loose stones, which survived for seventy years. The granite wall is a recent feature in our village. The properties did not have walls earlier! Now that most of us are building walls to our compounds in the village, I hope it would not separate us from each other.  The insularity that is growing as a social phenomenon disturbs me a lot! The privacy we seek for has the risk of becoming a behaviour of being less sociable. I remember my parents having neighbours and others coming in the evening to talk about events in the village. Now people meet in the local tea shops for their socialisation. From being a village without boundaries, it is evolving into people living in their private homes, using common facilities. It was our habit since Anna and I returned to live here six years back to visit some homes a few times in a year. That too has more infrequent! While we gain materially and professionally, we loose socially and relationally!

My parents were new people in the village when they came to live here eighty five years ago. They took the initiative to get in touch with others in the village. One way, my mother reached out to people in the village was by offering milk to some neighbours. My mother was fond of cows and we had four of them at one time, with about seven litres of milk in the morning and evening to distribute to others. She offered milk at a low cost and preferred to give milk to those who needed milk for their children. People in the village had to depend on their neighbours with cows for their daily supply  of milk as milk was not available in the packets in the fifties or sixties. That was my mother's way of getting a circle of friends for her to relate. I was an interruption to her routine when she was milking or feeding the cows. She put up with all that! Thanks to her forebearance, I was trusted when I was 12 years old to milk the cows and distribute milk! It was the first lesson in learning to accept responsibility and grow up with a sense of accountability! In fact when my father got transferred to a distant place and he came home only on week ends for three years, I was given even more encouragement to do some more chores. During the summer vacation, I had opportunities to dehusk coconuts, break and dry them for getting coconut oil for our use. My mother could gather all the oil during that time, which was needed for the whole year. The coconut oil was the only medium of cooking in the early sixties in the state of Kerala, where we lived. The other summertime activity was to gather cashew nuts from about twenty five trees we had then and get them dried to sell. That was the occasion I enjoyed climbing trees, although I was forbidden to do so. I was allowed to gather the cashew fruits fallen in the ground or use a long pole to pluck them! There were times, when  I was not allowed to gather them for a day, when domestic workers reported to my parents about seeing me climb the trees.

I grew up in an environment where there was a lot of adult conversation about farming, neighbours and their needs, church life, community needs, etc.taking place at home. The teacher colleagues of parents used to come regularly for meals. Although I got to know them personally, I felt that they were more demanding from me academically giving me no concession! That made me stay away from them when they came home! They meant well by expecting more from me! But I wanted to be given the freedom which others got from them!

One collaborative action I saw at that time through the initiative of my fathers was to make a wider pedestrian walk from the main road, to the village, by making people volunteer to do that, with my father offering to gift away three feet of land along a stretch of 300 feet! It is that road which developed into a motorable road for the last thirty years.

When I go out to the local shops, they identify me referring to my father. Having lived away from the village for forty-five years, I am gradually establishing contacts with others in the village! Some even identify me from my look, walk and mannerism, which they say are similar to those of my father. It is others who give me more insight about my childhood! I am grateful for this.

I am discovering myself by remembering my roots and connections!

M.C.Mathew (photo and text)