I happened to notice one flower in this bunch of blossom tilting and about to fall off its stalk! I noticed it for three days. The single flower had not withered! It was still looking fresh enough. It was attached to its stalk, although appearing to be fallen!
I watched this strange sight to my surprise! It was during a holiday when Anna and I were away from our home, I found nature's healing touch to one single flower in a bunch of flowers. That flower had not fully opened. It was partially separated from its stalk. A growing flower under threat! May be a bird in the process of gathering nectar damaged it! I noticed a Mina bird seated in the centre of the same bunch of flowers on one day. It was while giving away its nectar the flower suffered. Still, it did not yield to be lost! Its inclination was towards surviving the damage!
Most of us suffer some strain and pain in the journey of our lives, while living our lives open and in a serving mode.
I too have had my share of such experiences. Those, whom I trusted and accompanied to upbuild, becoming cold, distant and indifferent!
During those experiences of encountering personal loss, there is a larger message this bunch of flowers provide to anyone who is struggling with hurts and injury.
Our lives are like this bunch of flowers with multiple domains, roles and relationships. What might appear to be an injury coming upon us, due to breach of trust and regard, is subsumed in the fullness of life, that the bunch of flowers represent.
I found this consciousness engaging me in a new way recently. I had a dream of loosing my camera and few valuables from a bag, which I left at the gate of a building, while I had gone inside to make an enquiry. Although I made an enquiry about this loss with the guard at the gate, I had no trace of who might have taken them. But later, someone who saw this from far off, having seen the guard opening the bag to take some items, reported the matter to the office. I got back all the items.
A a guard is a keeper, watcher and a security personnel for the safety of others. But he fell into the trap of deception.
There are instances when any one of us can have such experiences when people whom we trust and commit ourselves to, can be inhospitable and disregardful! It is an injury most of us suffer. I too have memories of occasions of letting down others, who reposed their trust in me!
Sometimes we stay looking at this harsh experience far too long, that we loose sight of the fullness of life that we are still left with. One injured flower did not reduce the fullness of the bunch of flowers.
I felt spoken to yesterday to grow in this reality! A father who brought his three years old son for a follow up visit yesterday had something profound to say to illustrate this. His son who was suggested to have an autistic behaviour elsewhere, had come to visit us a few times in the last one year. What he had from our observation was a separation anxiety stage after his mother went overseas when he was around 18 months. His father, not knowing how to pacify a crying child who refuse to eat, offered him to view cartoons for several hours for a few months. He was away for most of the day at work and the child was left to be cared by a relative, who too indulged him with more screen time.
It was at this time he came to visit us in the place our work. After listening to the story and clinical examination, I had a sense that the child developed language and social stagnation due to the stress factors that he encountered. My colleagues took keen interest and felt that the father was ready to create a new environment at home, which he did for the last several months, by taking leave from his work. A colleague who observed the child at play yesterday, saw him interacting, communicating, using sentences, playing sikilfully and forthcoming with preschool skills. When the father narrated the story of the recovery path his son took, he was tearful1 He was angry with himself for encouraging his wife to go overseas because of which the difficulties of their son got initiated. And yet, the message of the father to me, was: ' My son and I suffered, but we are finding the way forward. My wife would be back shortly'!
This resolute and steadfast attitude to recover, came from the support he received, from his work place, who allowed him to focus on the home front for a while.
What a story of recovery path!
I felt spoken to as I heard this story! How wisely and thoughtfully the father turned away from few acts of commission on his part and from the ill-timed choice of his wife to go overseas!
The hope our life gives to us, even amidst the trying circumstances, enables us to live in the abundance of opportunities, even when one feels abandoned or estranged or misunderstood!
My list of disappointments became shorter and bearable at the end of listening to this father. Life is for Living, Learning and Leaping forward!
Each of us has fresh, healing or healed wounds within us. They form the nidus in our subconscious level a web of nascent events, which surface as dreams when our experiences of injury get undue attention by dwelling on them. The dreams about our losses or wounding experiencing therefore can bring two significant m message to us: calling our attention to the festering wounds and giving indications to proceed in the inward journey towards healing ! In that process, the dreams often carry a dual message:a warning to stop dwelling too much or for too long on the difficult experiences and opening the door to a pathway towards healing and recovery!
The bunch of flowers above is the same bunch, whose photograph after two weeks, show many new flowers are ready to open!
It becomes a calling to me trust life endowed with the gift of being vibrant and overcoming! A senior citizen, that I am, this consciousness coming upon me, when I am preparing to retire from active professional life, brings anchoring hope to my soul!
M.C.Mathew(text and photo)
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