During my walks, I have been observing how trees grow to their full stature. In this process of their growth, I noticed three phenomenon: One, trees leaning to either side. Second is growing up straight. The third is they spread out in all sides with foliage, flowers or fruits. This got my attention, when this distribution of the growth pattern of trees was common to trees in gardens and on waysides.
The two trees below had a left or right leaning. In fact the Christa's tree inner garden with its heavy leaning to one side has often made me wonder about this one sidedness which some trees seem to develop during its growth!
The tree below is tall but the evenness of its branches and foliage is missing. The branches on the right side looked more flourishing with a relative bareness on the left side of the tree.
What was striking about the trees below is the symmetry and a equidistribution of their branches on all sides with foliage or flowers
During the recent experiences in life, I have had an opportunity to connect these sights with real events in my life.
I realise that I have a leaning towards a certain perspective, whether it is related to professional life, Biblical view on life, social issues, political ideologies, societal compulsions, art, life style, creature comfort, community life, etc.
This leaning might have arisen from thought life, which received input which was less than integrated or wholistic or balanced.
This came to sharp focus through different experiences during the last four years when the pandemic of COVID gave a new glimpse of the vulnerability that humanity suffers from a one sided view of life.
It is clear that the laboratory in China from which the COVID infection spread to the community globally denies any role for what ever has happened. The inference is that the laboratory had a sinister purpose to dabble with with virus. I leave it for history to tell us more about tit.
That one event in history shook our very existence and readiness to cope.
It was during the four years, since the first outbreak of COVID, I noticed leaders of many countries frozen without ides for resources to respond to a health crisis.
I have been involved in promoting child development for forty years now. One experience that shakes be to the core is the casualness with which families approach preparation of the home for childhood developmental needs.
A family who lived and worked overseas had their first child growing up for five years with grandparents, at the end of which, the parents feel devastated to see their child in a 'mess' behaviourally, socially and relationally.
The one sided view of life of families, to give importance to their work, better income, better life style, more creature comfort, more savings, etc has caused upheaval in their children's life, resulting in many children struggling with post traumatic experiences.
How has this affected me!
I listen to this story, five of such stories yesterday! I have felt restless, angry and unsettlement emotionally with no remedial step, that is tangible enough to revive the parental attitude of promoting primacy to children till they crossed the adolescent years.
Th parenting practices, getting subsumed by the aspirations of parents for their own prosperity and prospects, to me is causing children grow up bereft and accommodated. The home seems to be inclined towards parents and not inclusive of addressing the needs of growin up children. Otherwise why should a four year child has only less than ten toys and no children's book at home, whose parents are both professionals of high standing! The TV and mobile phone are the substitute parents for that child!
I have come to feel the pain of this one sidedness in parenting!
What is alarming is the tendency of children in the adolescent years, leaning to their presuppositions and living to go after what make them indulgent and pervasive. Are we about to loose another generation of children, to the lure of of the glamour world of indulgence and self reducing behaviour!
We need a generation of children who are like, what appeared above in the last two photos, flourishing in an all rounded way. Their fullness, contributed by an all compassing care and provision from infancy to adolescent years, is what would make children to be sound in character and integrated as human beings.
It is this voice of reason, appeal, and action plan that is missing in the horizon.
While talking to a presbyter of a Church recently, he told me that he gives counselling to prepare couples for marriage. After fifteen years into this, he feels that it is equally important to initiate a Family Support Programme in every congregation, to help families in their formation, parenting practices and strengthening childhood wellness. I felt gad that he was a feeling person and thinking to evolve an action plan for family formation and sound parenting practices.
Our children feel the traction to lean towards apparently gratifying ideologies, life style and outlook to life! We need more centering practices to help our children to grow up to be rounded in thought, conduct and behaviour !
Otherwise we would end up frozen, without a sound action plan, pushing children to live leaning towards the fantasy, the glamorous world offers them!
M.C.Mathew (text and photo)
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