11 May, 2023

Going beyond our Biological boundaries!

One message I picked up, from friends, who  encouraged me to develop the elementary skills in bird watching, was to look for birds, where they are like to come looking for their feed. When I noticed the tree in the photo below,  a tree with its flowers, I wondered whether birds would locate the flowers to feed on the nectar! So I waited for a while around 6.30 am, hoping that some birds would come during their morning flight movements. 


That was what happened. One Noisy Miner bird arrived first and fed on the nectar. Its body movements to feed from the underneath of the flowers, was a delightful sight to watch. 



After it had its share of nectar, it paused and gave away a few bird calls. I found this act of announcing to the rest of the birds, about the feed on the tree set me thinking about the spirit of fraternity some bird species practice. 


Following a few bird calls, one more bird arrived. Than a third.  The three birds took turns to feed on the nectar and stayed together till I felt the need to move on to look for other sights!




As I left that spot to continue my walk, I kept this delightful sight in my mind of the three birds feeling content and two of them looking intently to choose their next flight station, while one was still feeding on the nectar. 

As I turned to proceed on the walk, what I sighted was a crested pigeon strolling on the pavement! It was a striking and contrasting sight from what I noticed earlier of the three birds assembling to share the nectar. 


My attention turned to think bout the act of the one Noisy Miner in inviting others to share in the nectar feed. It became an occasion of sharing and enlarging the sense of togetherness. 

I live in a culture currently, where the biological family ties are strong, ritualistic and compelling to follow all the traditions of the family tree. Some families through having regular  Family reunions perpetuate the biological family ties. 

While I find that as a good tradition, I have sometimes wondered from the experiences I have had, whether the family ties are so strong and binding that most families occupy themselves  to seek the welfare and prospects of each other within the family. They are inward looking and do not go beyond to engage those around with a fraternal spirit. The family first and others thereafter as against the good tradition of humans for humanity.
 
While Anna and I lived and worked at the Christian Medical College,Vellore  for 13 years, we were introduced a foster family system, for the students in training. Each faculty family was invited to welcome a few students to foster them and include them in their family life experiences. This practice existed at CMC Vellore from the Nineteen sixties. Anna and I had added two or three students every year and we had grown to have about fifteen students as part of the foster family system. The regular occasions of meeting with them led to a weekly Friday Forum when we met to listen to each other and share experiences of Life, Living and Learning. Some jokingly would say that they come to taste Anna's chocolate cake and coffee! But some of those  who came had experiences of finding their vocation through the interactions which took place formally and informally.
 
When we were at the Pondicherry Institute of Medical Sciences for three years and now at the MOSC Medical College, Kolenchery, we continued the practice of inviting a few medical student each year to be part of our foster family. A few from the Pondicherry group and the Kolenchery group still stay in touch, even after they moved on to their places of training and work. 

Anna and I felt blessed by this foster family practice, where we could sty in touch with younger generation of students and receive inputs about the trends and thoughts which affect their lives. We, in offering our listening years, gave space for them to review their choices and opportunities. 

The weekly Friday Forum  meetings that we offered to the foster students, we got to know at Pondicherry and Kolenchery, on the on line mode during the COVID season brought encouragement  to us and gave the fosters an opportunity to stay in touch with each other. 

I wonder whether each family would take an effort to transcend the biological family terrain and include one or two or three to belong to its family life experience as foster children! Especially those who are older and and when their own children have moved on to be adults with their own families, inviting younger people as fosters can be a mutually uplifting expereince! 

The one Noisy Miner bird brought these memories, as I saw it through its bird call. inviting other birds, to share its experience of feeding on the nectar. 

What virtue is in life, unless life is shared to bring fullness to others! 

Anna and I keep thinking about this dimension of our life, when we live in the seventh decade of our life!

How much more can we be to others, who wait to receive loving greetings, kind words, thoughtful attention, and gentle accompaniment!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)


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