Distinct features and Differences

I had a helpful conversation recently with a friend, who helped me to develop better observational skills in spotting and identifying birds. The picture above is that of a Grey Butcherbird, which I often got confused with the pictures below of an Australian Magpie. As both birds are native to Australia, it was easy to stay confused.

I realised from that  conversation that some birds are native to some countries or regions and not migratory by habit. The plumage is a distinct feature of each bird species and needs to be observed carefully to get some clues for species identification. The size, differences between a male and female bird, feeding and nesting habits are other distinguishing features. The bird calls are so distinct that if one can record it and compare with the bird calls of similar looking birds, it is almost conclusive of the species of a bird. 

I have an interest in bird spotting not so much for for identifying the species, but for  getting a glimpse of their behaviour. The Grey Butcher bird is a shy bird where as an Australian Magpie is most comfortable to be in public places where there are movements of people and vehicles. 

I listen to the stories of children through this optic. All children have a character of a distinct behaviour. When families describe how different their children are from each other, I sometimes find a wishful thinking in parents that, had their children been similar in temperament and behaviour, it would have been easier. 

Let me suggest that this needs to be explored with each family. I found that if a child was born at a time when the family was not ready to welcome that child, families have found adjustments more difficult. 

I have recently enquired from about fifty families whether they chose the timing of the birth of their child. Only 15 percent of families did say affirmatively, which means that most women would not have had a health check up and taken due health care planning before conception . It is not common that women check on vitamin D status or thyroid status or blood sugar and blood pressure  parameters before they decide on the timing of conception. I wish this practice would change as supplementation with vitamin D or Folic acid if the mother is older in age would have a salutary effect on foetal development. 

I have been struggling for the last five years, to get an insight into the impact of maternal pregnancy related stress factors on foetal development and infant behaviour. I have enough reasons to think that maternal adverse health related factors affecting physical, mental and emotional health have a bearing on the evolution of the behaviour of the infants, toddlers and even pre-school children. 

I feel appalled that in some situations husbands and wives are temporarily located in two different places during the pregnancy period. This itself adds to the emotional stress, more so if the woman is experiencing the first pregnancy. 

Birds are wired to behave differently. So also are children!

But there are several factors in the behaviour of parents, which have a direct impact on the formation of the behaviour of their children. This is documented in the science of epi-genetic. Our children inherit genetically lot of their behaviour, but they acquire many behavioural features by the conditioning effect of  the home environment. 

The science of Child Development invites all parents-to-be, to get insights about the role of parenting in optimising the child development process! Those who are already parents, let me suggest that the sconce of Child Development is often subsumed in the cultural and traditional practices! This needs to be reset, for which parents and professionals ought to collaborate. A home is a place, where parents and and children co-habit with larger opportunities and space, created for children, as the window into the future of children is designed by parental participation in childhood formation. 

Let me invite parents to free themselves from the shackles of some traditions which restrict children from the full unfolding of their development! The 'authoritarian' role men play at home reducing women to be 'followers' instead of being partners is a disturbing sight for me. There cannot be a place for patriarchal or matriarchal control in the affairs of home, instead husband and wife functioning to serve each other. In that interface children are born and develop imbibing a loving domestic ambience, where a husband and wife live longing for each other's wellness. Till a husband repositions himself in a serving role and a wife discovers her role of bringing wellness to her husband and children, a family has not evolved into a home of mutuality and self giving!

If only the husbands and wives can be living together through the full time of pregnancy, parents-to be would have promoted a sound entry into parenting readiness!

If all parents, till their children are older, till around 8 years, decide to be together as much as possible, they would provide stability to the childhood formation!

M.C.Mathew(text and photo)